by M. Garzon
“We need to go back inside,” he reminded me.
“Hold on a second, have you not noticed the disparity here?” I inquired, indicating my semi-clad state. “I showed you mine...”
A flash of that wolfish grin, and then he guided my hands to his jeans. I was entranced at finally being able to touch him.
“You knew what you were doing,” I whispered in his ear, “but I’m going to need some more coaching...”
I lay with my head on his chest afterward, cocooned in happiness. As I snuggled against him I thought of how unbearable it had been to be separated from him that week. As always, he seemed to guess my thoughts.
“It’s only going to get harder, you know.”
“It’s going to get harder than that?” I joked. “Okay, now you’re just bragging.”
He stared at me in shock for a second, before my beloved wicked smile began tugging at his lips.
“Is that dirty talk I hear spilling from your sweet mouth?” he murmured. He leaned in and crushed my lips with his for a long moment. “God, I love you.” The words were almost a growl.
I held him tightly. I never wanted to let go.
* * *
“Where were you last night?” Jaden asked. He looked upset.
After a seemingly eternal week apart, I had gotten home late Friday night to find Jaden at our place, asleep.
“Seth and I went to Ter’s. Didn’t you get my email?”
“No, I’m having issues with my account,” he grumbled. He perused my face, frowning. “You look like you spent the night in a bar.”
“We didn’t go there with the intention of drinking,” I said a bit defensively, “we just went to hang out, but you know I have no tolerance for alcohol. A couple of drinks and I’m drunk.”
“Hey,” he said, pulling me against him. “I’m not judging. I was worried, that’s all.” His arms wrapped around me protectively. “It drives me crazy that I’m not here to take care of you.”
I sighed as I relaxed against him. “I miss you, too.”
We sat down on some haybales; we had snuck up for a brief visit in the loft before my morning lesson with Karen.
“Well, the timing for this couldn’t have worked out better,” he commented. He handed me a small, gift-wrapped box.
“What’s this?” I asked in surprise.
“An early birthday present. I couldn’t wait.”
I opened the package slowly, feeling emotional. My birthday was October twenty-first, over a month away — I couldn’t believe he was already thinking about it. I gasped when I saw the contents and turned to him with a radiant smile.
“A phone! Oh, that’s perfect!” I pulled it out; it was an iPhone like Jaden’s, only mine was white.
“It’s got even more features than mine,” he said happily. “And I added you to my plan, so you’ll never see a bill.”
I flung myself at him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said between kisses.
“I definitely need to shop for you more often,” he said, laughing. He caught my face in his hands and kissed me in earnest; before I knew it I was on my back, Jaden on top of me.
“Ow,” I said suddenly as my head pounded painfully.
“What’s wrong?” he asked anxiously.
“My head hurts.”
He pulled me up carefully just as Karen’s voice yelled my name.
“Uh-oh, gotta go,” I muttered, scrambling for the ladder.
Teri and Julia were already grooming their horses. Marty had thrown Jennifer off again, and she had broken her arm, so I was riding him regularly in my lessons now. I cross-tied him facing Picasso; Teri looked only slightly better than I felt.
I felt increasingly lousy as I groomed Marty, and I was afraid that today’s lesson would be memorable. In a bad way. Sure enough, when Karen walked in things only got worse. She took one look at Teri and me and shook her head in disgust.
“Were you girls partying too hard last night?” she demanded, surveying us through narrowed eyes. I’m pretty sure it was a rhetorical question because as a former alcoholic, she probably recognized our symptoms better than we did ourselves. I couldn’t believe that we hadn’t considered our lesson with Karen while we were imbibing the night before. She had very strong feelings about overindulging — the predictable effect of having a brilliant career cut short.
“Umm.” Teri seemed too stunned to speak, so I groped around uselessly for a good answer, aware of Jaden’s eyes on me. Of course, ‘yes’ would be the smart way to go since Karen obviously knew. The danger here was that Karen and Dec were friends, and I didn’t know how to go about asking her not to rat us out. I was considering begging when Jaden went to stand by her.
“Look at them, Karen. They’re suffering. I’ll bet they won’t be repeating this mistake anytime soon,” he told her in a conspiratorial tone. He smiled and went on in his most compelling voice. “But it might be best if Dec doesn’t find out, don’t you think? We all know how he tends to overreact. I’d hate for Téa to be forbidden from showing again.” He was gazing into her eyes; she blinked before responding.
“Of course, we can keep it between us,” she agreed almost eagerly.
It figures, I thought. Even the drill sergeant isn’t immune. I never stood a chance.
Karen turned to us and said matter-of-factly, “It’s bad timing on your part, though, because you’re riding the entire lesson without stirrups today. I want you to take them off in the barn.”
Teri and I couldn’t suppress groans, and even Julia looked apprehensive, though she hadn’t been with us the night before. Work without stirrups was hard enough when you were fit and healthy. Today, it would be nothing short of brutal. Karen apparently thought a hangover wasn’t punishment enough.
Jaden disappeared while the girls and I finished grooming. I was positively dreading getting into the ring; I felt leaden-footed and weak, and a horrendous pounding was starting in my head. Teri and I exchanged a look of misery.
Jaden reappeared with two bottles of water. He gave one to Teri and handed me the other, loosening the cap first.
“Drink,” he ordered.
He started saddling Marty. When he dropped the stirrups and leathers from my saddle onto the floor he leaned over and murmured, “Are you sure you want to ride today? It’s going to hurt, you know.”
I sighed. “I know. I don’t have a choice, though.”
“Yes, you do,” he argued, “But if you choose to ride, you’re bringing it on yourself.”
I shrugged. I was irritated but didn’t have the energy to argue.
In the ring, Jaden gave us each a leg-up and went to work on the pasture. As I had feared, the lesson was awful. A jackhammer seemed to have gotten lodged in my head, my legs were burning from the effort, and the ring seemed unnaturally bright. By the time Karen started setting up the jumps I felt faint with weakness. I considered pleading for mercy, but my pride interfered and in any event, I knew it would be pointless. Karen was a great coach, very much in demand, and she could afford to be as exacting as she wanted with her students.
She started us over a small gymnastic combination. I was thankful for Marty’s smooth movement as he popped over it easily. He was in a good mood that morning, very cooperative, and I patted his dark bay neck gratefully. Julia went next, Jazzy as elegant as ever, and then it was Teri’s turn, Picasso pricking his cute pony ears throughout. He was clearly paying more attention than Teri, who by now could have passed for the Hulk’s petite younger sister. Fortunately for her, Picasso — being a pony — couldn’t easily manage the distances or heights in the course of jumps we tackled next, so Teri was excused and got to walk Picasso. She shot me a look of sympathy as I started my round.
My legs were screaming now, and I was focusing more on the pain than on Marty. He landed after the first line of fences, put his head between his knees, and did his patented rodeo bronc imitation. I didn’t stand a chance; I flew off and landed with a thud on my right side.
“You
okay, Téa?” Karen called.
I didn’t move. In fact, I was more comfortable than I’d been all day. A nap definitely seemed in order. Trotting hoofbeats interrupted that happy thought as Ter and Jules came to make sure I was still alive. I staggered up, groaning.
“Shit, Téa, you scared us,” Julia chided me.
“Sorry.” I moved my limbs experimentally — everything seemed to be working. Painful, but working.
Karen led Marty over.
“Well?” She held out the reins, challenging me with her eyes to wimp out. When I took them she gave me a leg up without a word. I started riding the course again, this time staying tense and alert for any sign of bucking. It was hard to pull up Marty’s head when I didn’t have stirrups to brace against, but we managed a decent round. Julia went next, and I focused on not vomiting while I walked Marty.
I was just sighing with relief that the lesson was finally over when Karen said, “Téa, I want you to go once more. That horse is capable of jumping a lot bigger; I want to see how he goes for you over some decent-sized fences.”
I didn’t think I had the strength to even walk to the barn, but I nodded dumbly. Karen altered the course and raised the fences. They looked huge.
“Okay, Téa. It’s just the two outside lines and the triple-bar on the diagonal.”
I walked Marty in a circle, psyching myself up. Then I pushed Marty into his smooth, ground-eating canter and we jumped the course — and somehow, it really came together. Everything just flowed. I was almost as shocked as I was exhausted; Ter and Jules whooped as I pulled up and I grinned at them in gratitude. Karen was eyeing me with a very thoughtful look on her face.
“You could have kept him a bit straighter through your last line, but overall, that was excellent.” Those rare words of praise from her made the whole miserable experience almost worthwhile. Almost.
As I was untacking Jaden materialized. He took the saddle out of my hands.
“I saw your last trip. I had no idea Karen would make you jump that high today, of all days.” He sounded shaken.
I turned to him with a smile, my earlier irritation forgotten. Just being near him numbed my pain, and I was dying to flow into his arms and let his hands soothe away the hurt, as they invariably did. His answering smile froze on his face as he noticed the dirt all over my shirt.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Marty dumped me,” I muttered, embarrassed.
“Are you all right?” He started to reach for me but caught himself.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be hurting tomorrow, though,” I said ruefully.
He exhaled heavily. “I owe you an apology.”
“For what?” I asked, surprised.
“For my fatuous comment earlier. You never deserve to be hurt, Téa.”
“Well, you’re forgiven,” I said easily.
“You could make me work for it, you know... make me put away your horse, for instance,” he suggested, his eyes dancing. “Then you could help Teri. She looks like she might not make it otherwise.”
* * *
The following week brought several changes. For one thing, Hades arrived, and I was looking forward to starting his retraining. Even more exciting was Karen’s call, asking me if I could ride Marty at a show in two weeks’ time; she had spoken with his owner, who was happy to have me take over as Marty’s new rider. Even better, Marty was already almost qualified for the Royal, so if we did well at the show, I’d have a shot at the big time in November. But those events, however noteworthy, were nothing compared to the biggest one.
Twenty
The following weekend was, very conveniently, Julia’s birthday, which provided me with the perfect excuse to be away overnight. I planned my cover story carefully with the girls and arrived at Jaden’s on Saturday evening. I was spending the night.
We spent a long time saying hello.
“Would you like to go out for dinner?” he asked when we’d finally moved out of the entrance.
“I’d rather stay in if you don’t mind.”
“Sure, I can make us something.”
“Can we just order a pizza or something?” I said.
I only managed half a slice of pizza, though, before my stomach shut down. Jaden put down his slice and wrapped his arms around me.
“Nervous?” he murmured.
“A bit,” I admitted.
“You know, it doesn’t have to be tonight-” he began.
“Oh no — you’re not backing out on me now.”
“In that case, would you like to adjourn to the bedroom?”
I hesitated. “Can I have a shower first?” I’d had one that morning, but another one suddenly seemed like a good idea, and I thought it might help me relax, too.
“It’s your night, querida,” he assured me. “You can do anything you like.”
I took my time showering and brushing my teeth. When I was done, I hesitated; it seemed silly to put my clothes back on. I settled for wrapping myself in a towel. When I stepped into the bedroom I stopped dead — every available surface was covered in candles, their warm glow dancing like wraiths on the walls. Music was playing, too, and I finally noticed Jaden. He walked slowly up to me.
“I don’t have anything sexy to wear,” I confessed. It seemed a foolish oversight, now.
“It’s a good thing. If you looked any sexier, I wouldn’t be able to control myself,” he said huskily, taking my shoulders and pulling me against him. The towel soon slipped to the floor, and for the second time ever, Jaden scooped me up in his arms and laid me gently on his bed. My heart was thudding this time, too, but it was with anticipation. Mostly.
I watched him undress, admiring every line and curve of his body. No sooner had he settled his long body next to mine than I glued myself against him; I was shivering. He wrapped me tightly in his embrace.
“Te amo, Jaden.” I was using the more intimate, romantic form of ‘I love you’ for the first time.
His eyes burned into mine for a long moment. “Te quiero, Téa.”
It was blissful to finally have time alone, with no fear of being discovered or interrupted. We took our time, exploring each other’s bodies in new ways, and it was much later when Jaden finally rolled on top of me and cradled my face in his hands.
He was looking right into my eyes as he moved into me. It was a tiny movement, but I felt my eyes go wide. I tensed up automatically; he stopped. I closed my eyes and felt his fingers and lips caressing my face.
“Are you all right?” His mouth was at my ear now, the words barely a whisper.
“Yes,” I managed.
He nuzzled my cheek. “It’s okay, baby. I won’t move until you’re ready.”
I’d always heard that it was difficult for boys to stop once they got started, but then, maybe that was the difference between a boy and a man.
“Is this hard for you?” I murmured.
“Don’t you worry about me,” he breathed. “This is already the best night of my life.”
My heart lifted and I nodded slightly; his lips moved to mine. This kiss was a bit rougher than usual, which was good — it distracted me, and I was swept away, as always, by my overwhelming need for him. It wasn’t long before I was pushing down onto him.
“You can move now,” I whispered breathlessly.
He made a small rocking movement with his hips. There was pleasure, now, along with the slight discomfort.
“Keep going.” I hid my face in his neck.
He kept going, with small, gentle movements, until I could feel him, deep in my belly.
“We’re completely joined,” he whispered, caressing my hair.
I clutched him tightly to me but then felt him starting to pull out. “Wait... what are you doing?”
“I think that’s enough for our first time, don’t you?”
I shook my head. “I want you to... you know, finish.”
He raised his head to look at my face; his was concerned. “I don’t know, Téa. I’d have to move
a lot more for that, go faster. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I took his face in my hands. “Will you try? Please. I promise I’ll tell you if it hurts.” Too much, I added mentally.
In answer, his mouth came down on mine again. His hips started rocking, slowly at first, until I was moving to meet him. His mouth moved down my neck, and I felt his teeth pressing into my shoulder. Although it wasn’t the first time he’d ever done that, for some reason it was now incredibly arousing, and I wrapped my legs around his body. That was all it took. Our groans mingled as I felt him surge inside me.
“Wow,” I whispered, when I could talk again.
“Wow is right,” he murmured, still breathless, near my ear.
He began kissing my face. His eyes flew to mine when he felt the wetness on my temples, from the tears now running into my hair.
“I’m happy,” I explained quickly. “I’m so happy that it’s you.”
Contentment seeped through every particle of my being. Though I would never have admitted it to anyone, I felt like I was finally, completely his. And he was mine.
Twenty-one
A couple of weeks later, I strolled down to the barn absent-mindedly. The day was sunny and mild for mid-October, with that golden glow that only seems to exist amongst the warm colors of autumn. I was almost at the barn when my subconscious registered something out of the ordinary and I came out of my reverie enough to look around.
There was a horse in the large grass paddock to my left — but I didn’t recognize him. I went and leaned on the fence. He was bright chestnut, his coat like flames against the grass. He was bounding with energy and looked quite young. As I watched he trotted along the fence, snorted at an imaginary danger and took off at a gallop across the paddock.
“Nice horse, isn’t he?” Jaden’s voice came from right next to me. I’d been so absorbed in watching the new arrival that I hadn’t noticed his approach.
“Yes, very. But who is he? I didn’t know we were getting a new boarder.”
Jaden shrugged. “You’ll have to ask Dec,” he said, motioning toward the house. Dec and Seth were on their way.
