Black Flame

by Ruby Laska

  But it wasn’t Jayne’s fault. Deneen rested her head on her big sister’s shoulder and closed her eyes. Even now, after the accident and the stitches and all, Jayne was still taking care of her. Jayne had always defended her. Always believed in her. Sure, Jayne maybe thought she was a little flighty, but she loved her that way.

  A sister knows.

  “It wasn’t that bad,” she said quietly.

  “What wasn’t that bad? Oh, you mean having to put up with Jimmy?”

  “The thing is…I wasn’t exactly putting up with him. I mean, it was kind of nice.”

  “Well, sure, I bet you made Christmas dinner fun for everyone. And the brunch, too—I bet Jimmy was really grateful to have you there. You’re a good sport, Deneen—you always make the best of everything. That’s why everyone loves to be around you.”

  Deneen smiled, her eyes still closed. That was what was so great about Jayne. She always saw the best in her.

  If she admitted to her sister that she was kind of, sort of, falling for Jimmy, Jayne wouldn’t laugh at her. She’d be shocked as all get out, but she’d take Deneen seriously.

  Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get it out there. Maybe it would actually help, to talk about it, to try to make sense of it.

  “Listen, Jaynie—”

  “We get to take him home.”

  Deneen opened her eyes and stood up. Matthew was standing there, his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, grinning from ear to ear. The police officers were walking out the door of the hospital.

  “You make it sound like he’s a stray puppy,” Jayne laughed, getting up. She hugged Jimmy, and he seemed to relax a little as he hugged her back. As far as Deneen could see, he hadn’t done any lasting damage to Matthew. “Just don’t hit my fiancé any more, okay, Bruiser?”

  “I don’t anticipate harming him in the future,” Jimmy said, looking extremely embarrassed. “That was a highly unexpected event. I am, of course, very sorry.”

  “Yeah, you said that already,” Matthew said, punching him lightly in the arm. “Of course, you could show me just how sorry you are by taking dish duty this week if you want.”

  “I’m starving,” Jayne said suddenly. “I could eat a side of beef.”

  “Half an hour ago, you said you were never eating again,” Matthew said jokingly, but a look of concern passed over his face and he put his arm around Jayne.

  “Yeah, well.” Jayne looked up at Deneen shyly from beneath her long eyelashes and smiled. “That was just when I thought I was going to throw up. But I feel better now and…since I’m eating for two and all…”

  It took a moment for Deneen’s brain to catch up. Eating for two. The nausea. The fright she’d had when the accident happened. The big news she wanted to share in person—

  “You’re pregnant?” Deneen shrieked. She flung herself at her sister and danced her in a circle, joy bubbling freely from her heart. “Oh, I can’t believe it, you’re going to have a baby! I’m going to be an aunt! I’m going to be the best Auntie ever!”

  “I’m going to be a dad,” Matthew said in a mock wounded tone. “You can hug me too, you know.”

  Jimmy hugged him—hard, judging from the “oof” that came from Matthew. “Congratulations!”

  “Things are going to get interesting around the old bunkhouse,” Jayne said when Deneen finally let go of her.

  “We’re actually thinking of talking to Mimi about buying the farmhouse.”

  “That’s a great idea!” Deneen said. “That place is adorable. Oh my gosh, with some fresh paint and cute curtains and a few flowerboxes—”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Jayne said, laughing. “I don’t have your crafty skills.”

  “Yeah, well.” Some of the joy went out of Deneen’s voice. It was so tempting—she could just say, “Well, maybe I’ll be here to help,” or “the two of us could fix it up in no time.”

  But there was no “two of us.” She wasn’t going to be here as her sister’s stomach swelled, as she and Matthew made a new life for their little family. She’d be back in Arkansas, doing heaven knows what.

  But that wasn’t a thought for now. This was her sister’s moment. Hers and Matthew’s.

  “Let’s get going,” she said gamely, fixing her smile firmly on her face. “It’ll be a little tight in the truck, but I’ll sit in the jump seat with Matthew. You can have the passenger seat, since you’re preggers.”

  “That’s awesome,” Jayne said. “Just think of all the ways everyone is going to have to be nice to me for the next eight months!”

  As she and Matthew walked toward the doors, hand in hand, Deneen and Jimmy followed. Jimmy didn’t touch her. He didn’t look at her. It was as though they were strangers all over again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  When they got back to the ranch, Jimmy dropped off his passengers—all three of them had spent most of the drive asleep. Pausing only to change into his snow gear, he headed for the woods.

  He would have preferred a mountain—perhaps one with a near-vertical incline—but the land around Conway was more of the gently-rolling-hills variety. Hiking in the snow, however, would provide a reasonable workout. He just had to get away from the ranch—at least, as long as Deneen was there.

  By late afternoon, he’d sufficiently raised his core body temperature that he was able to remove a couple of layers of outerwear, stuffing them into his backpack. He ate an apple and a protein bar that he’d packed.

  He needed all his focus to process what had happened that morning. First, there was the kiss in the truck. Deneen had initiated contact, he was almost positive. Almost, because his memories were proving unreliable. Which was cause for grave concern. From one standpoint, he could recall minutia about every occasion when he was in Deneen’s presence: what her smile looked like, how she smelled, the sound of her laugh, the way she walked. He could remember the curve of her buttocks and breasts, naturally, but also insignificant details like the way her eyelashes fluttered when she was about to kiss him, or the fact that her hands were approximately two-thirds the size of his, so that he could fold them completely in his own.

  None of this was particularly upsetting. It was the fact that other areas of his cognitive reasoning appeared to be suffering. For instance, he’d rinsed off his shaving cream this morning before realizing he’d only shaved half of his face. He’d started the coffee pot without adding any coffee. And he wasn’t sure exactly where the half hour he’d spent staring into space last night had gone.

  But most alarming of all was the fact that he’d hit Matthew. Hard, too—hard enough that he could still feel it in his knuckles and Matthew was going to be black and blue for a while. He wasn’t sure how he would explain it to Zane and Cal. Or make it up to Matthew. For reasons Jimmy couldn’t fathom, Matthew had acted like it was no big deal.

  But what if it happened again? What if Matthew (or whomever he hit next time) rightly refused to overlook his act of violence? Jimmy couldn’t imagine life without his friends. He’d been a solitary child with only one living relative, and after his mother died, he would have been lost without the friendship of Matthew, Zane, Cal, and Chase. Now, he was lucky to count Regina and Jayne and Roan among his friends as well.

  Jimmy paused and noted that he had walked approximately three miles, judging from the angle of the sun and the terrain. The wind was picking up, and dark clouds were gathering. The storm that had been forecast for that evening appeared to be coming more quickly than expected. He ought to turn around, but he wasn’t done thinking. Just a little longer, and then perhaps he would be sufficiently tired by the walk back that he would be able to sleep easily tonight.

  The thing was, his friends were the closest thing to family that Jimmy had. The phrase “family of choice” had always struck him as mawkish and sentimental, but for the first time, Jimmy was beginning to understand what it meant. He had no siblings, but in every way that mattered, his friends filled that void.

  He really had to make sure he didn’t lose the
m. But did that mean losing Deneen?

  Except she wasn’t his. A few make-out sessions hardly constituted a relationship, something he’d had to explain more than once to distraught females. Who was the distraught one now? It was enough to make Jimmy want to throw his hiking poles into a snow drift—and that was exactly the kind of illogical thinking that had him so worried.

  Just a little farther. Just so he could figure all of this out.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  There hadn’t been a sound from the back half of the bunk house in hours. Matthew and Jayne were apparently going to sleep the day away. Deneen kept herself busy, but her mind whirled and churned. She tidied the house, and then she rearranged furniture for a while. She got her sketchbook out and re-designed the terrible living room with updated furniture and window treatments. While she was trying to see if the old bookcase’s finish could be easily repainted, she made a discovery.

  Her sister had obviously been taking pictures ever since she arrived in North Dakota. In an old cigar box on a shelf next to a stack of well-thumbed paperbacks, she discovered dozens of photographs of the ranch, her truck, the rigs…but most of all, of the friends who’d moved here from Arkansas and, as time went on, the women that Chase and Cal had fallen in love with. There were photographs of them outdoors, assembled around the big kitchen table, and working on the bunkhouse. Photos of Chase singing on stage at what looked like a cozy old tavern, of Cal at his swearing-in as a police officer. Zane and Chase and Jimmy returning from the rigs, covered with dirt; and Matthew in a frilly apron with a plate of pancakes.

  It made Deneen’s heart squeeze. They were all clearly so happy here. Every one of them had found work that they were good at. They were moving ahead with their lives, falling in love…and now Jayne was even having a baby.

  Everyone had a place in this world, it seemed, except for her.

  “This is stupid,” Deneen scolded herself, swallowing down the lump in her throat. She looked outside at the blowing snow; most of it was being stirred up by the wind, but were those fresh flakes starting to fall? It was only three o’clock, but the sky was starting to darken. Deneen didn’t know much about weather, especially cold weather, but this didn’t look good. No—not good at all.

  And Jimmy wasn’t back.

  Deneen did know one thing about snow: it killed. Indiscriminately. It didn’t just go after the weak and the old, either. Skiers were always being found, frozen to death, in drifts just a few feet off the runs. Boy Scout leaders set out for day hikes and never returned. Even people who were supposed to know better were vulnerable; hadn’t the great explorer, Shackleton somebody or other, gotten a whole ship stuck in the ice and snow?

  It was crazy, since she’d only known Jimmy a few days, but she was sure he wouldn’t do something as dangerous as stay out hiking in a storm. It wasn’t logical.

  His tracks, however, were still fresh in the snow. They wouldn’t be in a few hours, when the storm hit for real. If she was careful, and left right now, Deneen could not only follow him, but she would be reinforcing his tracks with her own, to chart a course that they could then follow back to the house.

  And then everyone would see that she was not only brave but dependable too.

  She stood outside Matthew and Jayne’s door one final time. If only they would wake up…if only there were someone else to help. But after the scare her sister had—her pregnant sister, oh sweet Pete, she was going to be an auntie—and the stress of the accident and the hospital, Deneen didn’t dare disturb them until they’d had their rest.

  Especially since this was probably no big deal. As Deneen pulled on her coat, her kitty mittens, her faux fur topped boots, she reminded herself that Jimmy was more than competent. He was smart—no, he was a freaking genius—and resourceful and capable and there was probably a very good reason why he wasn’t back yet. She would just follow the path for fifteen minutes, no more. Then, if she hadn’t found him, she would turn around and come back and wake up Matthew and they could call Cal, if necessary, and figure out what to do next.

  My, it was cold out here. As Deneen trudged along Jimmy’s footsteps, she tugged her hood more tightly around her face and shoved her hands deeper in her pockets. She tried to put her feet where Jimmy’s had been, but his stride was too long. Because he had those very long legs, she reminded herself, which went nicely with that sculpted torso and those muscular shoulders and arms. This line of thinking warmed her considerably and kept her mind off the cold as she went deeper into the woods, following the path Jimmy had made. No one else had been in these woods since the snow fell. No human, anyway; there were plenty of rabbit and bird and deer tracks, and others that might belong to opossum or raccoon or whatever other sort of critter could stand to live up in this inhospitable climate. As well as those other tracks, those ones that she dearly hoped belonged to someone’s dog, but just might be…no, she wasn’t going to think about that. About a wolf pack out trotting around looking for tasty morsels. Hungry wolves that hadn’t had a good meal in a while, looking for something to bring back to the lair to feed their wolf babies.

  Which was ridiculous, of course. Deneen checked her watch—fifteen minutes, and no sign of Jimmy. No sign of the ranch, either, because the forest had followed the curve of the land over several hills and a frozen creek. She turned in place, carefully noting what direction she had been headed and marking landmarks in her mind. It wasn’t really necessary, because the tracks—two sets now, hers and Jimmy’s—were fresh and clear, and only a few flakes were falling.

  Ahead was a slight rise; the view beyond was obscured by the trees that grew along the ridge. It would only take another five minutes or so to reach the top, and from there, Deneen could see down the other side. If Jimmy was there—stuck, mauled by a bear, whatever—she’d see him. If not, then she’d turn around and go back and get help.

  She checked her phone one last time—still no service—and set out. She crossed the frozen creek with care, aware there was ice underneath the layer of snow on top. She went slowly, testing each step before setting her full weight down, and when she reached the other side and started up the hill, she breathed a sigh of relief.

  And fell down.

  Sitting on her ass in the snow, she figured out quickly that it was a submerged tree root that had snagged her boot. It was impossible to see under the snow blanket, and it only protruded an inch or two above the ground, but that had been enough. It was more humiliating than painful; the pain in her ass and the foot she’d tripped over were masked by the cold, which would have been a bigger problem if she wasn’t prepared. But Deneen knew when to throw in the towel, and she would turn around just as soon as she checked out the view on the other side of the hill.

  She took a breath and tried to get to her feet. Her ankle gave out under her, and the sharp pain that shot up her leg wasn’t good at all.

  Deneen sat down hard a second time. And this time she was pretty sure she wasn’t getting up for a while.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Jimmy hefted the grocery bag in his free arm as he opened the door to the ranch. It probably wasn’t his best idea, walking all the way back from town carrying twenty pounds of groceries, but when his hike had taken him all the way to Route 15 he’d decided to come back along the road rather than through the woods, especially as the storm was approaching fast and dark was gathering.

  The walk had done him good. The exertion calmed his restless nerves, and the problem of Deneen—which he still had no idea how to solve—seemed more manageable. What was needed was a long talk, an airing of feelings, though that phrase had always made him uncomfortable. He would be frank about his emotional outburst and perhaps consult a professional. It was time to try something new. “Learn from yesterday,” as Einstein said, “live for today, and hope for tomorrow.”

  In the grocery, he’d passed over his usual soy and whole grain selections, choosing instead a variety of ingredients he hoped Matthew might enjoy preparing. Though after his acciden
t, and possibly some post-traumatic stress, he might be unfit to cook, so perhaps Deneen would agree to assist Jimmy. The thought cheered him as he walked home.

  He would be frank about his erratic behavior, he decided. Perhaps she would understand. Perhaps she would give him another chance despite his abhorrent behavior in the hospital. Now that her sister had returned home, Deneen had a wedding to plan, didn’t she? And if it was a task worthy of engaging a specialist, it might be complicated enough to keep her in town for a while. How long? Well…during the holidays, it was probably more difficult to conduct business with all the various vendors associated with nuptials. Dress merchants, photographers, cake bakers, florists—who knew what else was involved? Maybe Deneen wouldn’t even be able to begin to plan until the new year, which was almost a week away.

  A week! So much could happen in a week. Jimmy walked into the bunkhouse whistling, feeling better than he had in ages, positively invigorated by the brisk walk. Before he had a chance to set down the groceries, Jayne ran into the room, looking worried.

  “Is Deneen with you?”

  “Deneen?” Jimmy said, setting down the bag. “What do you mean? Isn’t she here?”

  “No,” Matthew said, coming into the room, pulling on a sweatshirt. “She left a note saying she was going to see if she could find you. And her footprints—well, someone’s footprints, anyway, and there were only the three of us here—go out across the yard following yours.”

  “I know your footprints from the tread on your boots,” Jayne said. “And I know her foot size because it’s the same as mine. Jimmy, why would she follow you into the woods?”

  Jimmy had no idea. But it was nearly dark, and the temperature was dropping fast. “Get your coat,” he said tersely to Matthew. “We’re going after her.”