Dropout

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  She hated the pity, the disappointment, and even worse, she hated when people looked at her as if she deserved far worse.

  She’d married rich to her high school sweetheart, but in the end, had ended up a little jagged, a little broken because of it.

  Anton went in the back again without another word. Kate forced herself to look at Grayson, not wanting to see any of those looks in his eyes, but knowing she couldn’t hide from them.

  But when she looked at him, she only saw curiosity, and was that…anger? That didn’t make any sense. What did he have to be angry about? Maybe it was because Anton didn’t seem to really notice who Grayson was. It might have been ten years, but Anton was still as much of an ass as he’d been back then.

  “I’ll fill this out,” he said “Thanks, Kate.”

  She nodded before looking back at her computer, though she saw nothing. She just needed this reunion to be over, then she could go back to her normal and busy life. A life where she needed to find a way to make it hers, and not what others made for her. It wasn’t easy, but Kate wouldn’t give up. She hadn’t yet—despite what others might think.

  By the time Kate got home and sent the babysitter on her way, she was ready for a nap and a glass of wine. Only it was six o’clock, and that meant it was time to make dinner, make sure the kids finished their camp homework if they had any, and get them into bed. They both liked showering in the mornings now, though, so that was one less thing to do at night, even if it made the mornings rush by far too quickly and they were always running a tad late.

  Jason had hated when they were late, though he’d never shown up on time when they were the ones waiting on him. Kate was the one who liked to be early for things, even if it wasn’t always feasible with two kids underfoot. She quickly put those thoughts from her mind as she slipped out of her shoes and set her purse down on the side table. No use thinking about her ex or the past when she barely had enough time to live in the present.

  Her babysitter, Jessica, had been by the door, shoes on and bag over her shoulder when Kate pulled up. Since Kate had been a few minutes late coming home, she didn’t blame the young woman. They were in the middle of summer, after all, and day camps for West and Lili only lasted so long, which meant that Jessica had to watch them until Kate got home. She hated not being there when her babies got off the bus or out of camp, but she also needed to pay the rent and put food in their bellies. And since West had once again hit a growth spurt, that accounted for a lot of food these days.

  “Mom!” Lili squealed as she ran up to Kate and wrapped her arms around her waist. Kate hugged her baby girl hard before pulling back. At seven, Lili still liked hugs but wasn’t usually this exuberant. Either Lili had done something at camp that Kate would have to deal with later, or she wanted something. Oh, the joys of having wonderful children.

  “Hey, baby girl. Do you want to help me with dinner?”

  Lili shrugged. “Okay.”

  The two of them padded off to the kitchen where West sat on a stool, playing games on his tablet. Kate leaned over and kissed the top of West’s head, and her son barely held back his grimace.

  “Hello to you, too, baby boy.”

  “I’m not a baby,” he mumbled.

  “I’m not either,” Lili added.

  Kate really wanted that glass of wine, but making tacos would have to suffice for now. “We’re not in public, so I’m not going to embarrass you if I call you my babies because, hello, you’re both my babies and always will be.” She winked as she said it, and both rolled their eyes at her even as they smiled.

  Their teenage years might be the death of her, but she’d get through it. Hopefully. The two of them looked like little replicas of her, only their eyes carried a bit of Jason in them. While Jason had been the golden boy in high school, she’d had the slightly darker looks with pale green eyes. Her babies had her dark hair and skin tone, but they had Jason’s crystal-blue eyes. Striking didn’t even begin to cover it.

  “Mom?” Lili asked, her voice hesitant.

  “Yes, Lili?” Kate answered, browning the meat while gesturing to the block of cheese. “Can you grate the cheese for me?”

  “Sure,” Lili said, quickly hopping to it.

  West set down the tablet and went to the cupboard and pulled out a can of beans. She seriously loved her kids. They helped without being asked most of the time since they only had each other to rely on. Lili would have jumped in without asking most days, but Kate knew she needed to ask for something so was a little off.

  “Can we get a puppy?” Lili said, her voice so low that Kate almost missed it.

  Kate pressed her lips together, trying to blink back tears. Damn it, she was going to disappoint her kids. Again. But there was no way they could get a pet right now.

  “I wish we could,” she said honestly. “But our landlord has a strict policy against pets, and we aren’t home enough for a new puppy or any pet.” She let out a breath. “I’m sorry, honey.”

  Lili didn’t meet her gaze, but gave her a shrug instead. “That’s what I figured. It’s okay.”

  Kate set the burner to low and put down the wooden spoon so she could face her children. “I’m sorry. You know I am. I had dogs and cats growing up, and I know they’re a wonderful part of a family. But unless we move again to a place that allows pets, and if we find a way to make time for a new addition to the family, I don’t know if it’s going to happen anytime soon.”

  West wrapped his little arm around Lili’s shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. The two of them fought constantly as brothers and sisters did, but then there were times when they were truly loving and amazing. Once again, Kate had to blink back tears.

  “It’s okay,” West said softly. “We’ve got each other, right?”

  Kate stepped forward and opened her arms. Both kids immediately went to her, holding her tightly.

  “Right,” she said softly. “Right.”

  Damn, Jason. Damn, Anton. Damn her for not doing what she should have all those years ago by staying in school. But none of that mattered anymore. Now, she had to be a full-time mom, a full-time employee, and a part-time student. She could do all of that and sleep just enough that she didn’t keel over.

  What she didn’t need was an ex-husband who hadn’t wanted custody of the kids except to taunt Kate about taking her children away. She also didn’t need another person coming into her life and changing how she’d set up her new path. She’d worked hard for what she had and she was afraid if she added another person to her life she’d ruin everything she’d made for herself.

  “Mom?” West said softly.

  “Yes, baby?” she answered, kissing the tops of their heads. They were getting so tall now that she didn’t need to lean forward that much. But considering she wasn’t much taller than five feet, that wasn’t saying much.

  “I think the meat is burning.”

  “Shit.”

  “You cursed!” Lili giggled. “That’s five bucks for the jar.”

  Kate narrowed her eyes as she stirred the meat, grateful only a little bit of it had singed. “Since when is it five bucks for a swear?” she asked. “I thought we were at a quarter.”

  “Inflation,” West said with a sage nod.

  Kate burst into laughter. “What do you know about inflation?”

  West grinned widely, wrapping an arm around Lili’s shoulder again. This time, Lili pushed him off and rolled her eyes. “TV?”

  Kate laughed and began to heat up the beans. “Whatever you say. Now, set the table, will you? Let’s get some food in our bellies before they start growling like crazy.”

  Of course, both kids began to make growling noises as they set the table, and Kate just smiled, the long hours of the day and the homework she had to do when her kids were asleep fading away into the bliss that was her life with her children. Life wasn’t easy, but hell, it wouldn’t have been easy regardless of the choices she made when she was younger. And thinking about the dark-eyed man who’d come into t
he office today and what might have been wouldn’t help a single thing.

  Even if somewhere deep inside, that’s exactly what she wanted to do.

  “I cannot believe you talked me into this,” Kate mumbled as she stared at her closet, phone in hand. “I have two days’ worth of classwork to finish by the end of the week, and not enough time to do it. My parents picked up the kids for dinner and a movie since it’s the summer and they get to sleep in a bit before camp, but they weren’t all that happy about me going out tonight. And I slept like crap last night, so I think the bags under my eyes have bags themselves.”

  Rae, one of her best friends and possibly the most kindhearted person Kate had ever met, snorted. “You need to go out and see adults who don’t need their teeth cleaned.”

  Kate held up a black dress that probably wouldn’t fit one hip, let alone both of them to her in front of the mirror. How had that gotten in her closet? Maybe it was Rae’s or Tessa’s because there was no way she’d be caught dead in something that short these days.

  “Everyone needs their teeth cleaned,” Kate responded absently. “It’s a way of life.”

  “You’re a dork, and I love you. But as for school, you do work every night and are probably more ahead than the rest of your classmates. You can finish all of your stuff in an hour if you focus. I’ll come over if you want and watch the kids, maybe take them to the park or something, and you can just get your work done quickly like I know you can. Then you’ll have tonight and the rest of the time to actually breathe.”

  Kate held up a burgundy tunic that had looked good once, but now it made her look like a blimp. She wondered if she could add a belt to it to make it look cute. Nope, this was not the nineties, and she hadn’t dressed like that since she was five with a side ponytail and stirrup pants to match her mom.

  “That would be wonderful,” she said after a moment. “I don’t know how to thank you enough, Rae.”

  “You’re my best friend. Well, you and Tessa. So, yeah, I’m going to make sure you’re okay and taken care of now that you’re finally living close enough for me to do that.” She paused. “As for your parents, if they’re going to keep treating you that way, you need to say something. Don’t let life pass you by.”

  Kate pulled out her simple leather leggings and a pale green top that matched her eyes. If she added a small black shrug, she’d look ready to go out and be comfortable. She did this with such a determined focus, she knew it was because she didn’t want to think about Rae’s words.

  “I’ve tried to talk with them, Rae. You know that. They don’t want to talk about anything. They want me to go back to being the star, the smart one of the family who had potential. And while they love their grandkids, they don’t love the fact that I got married far too young, had babies far too young, and dropped out of college, losing my full ride to UT in the process. They don’t like that I’m just an assistant and not doing anything on my own to make them proud. So, no matter that I moved back home to be close to them, they’ll still see me as a disappointment, their daughter who had so much potential but lost it.”

  As always, Kate did her best not to let their words hurt her, but her mother had never been the kind of woman to hold back what she thought. She’d voiced her opinions plainly to Kate once, and now, every time Kate looked into her mother’s eyes, she saw the failures she’d never be able to make up for. No matter that she was going to school, working full-time and raising two wonderful children—her mother would never see her as anything but lost potential. And her father wouldn’t say a damn thing at all.

  Kate dealt with it, but damned if she would let that attitude hurt her babies. So far, her parents hadn’t said or done anything for her children to see, and Kate would make sure that never happened.

  “And now that I’ve slightly depressed us, let’s get going. I’ll meet you at the Grange in thirty minutes. Be cute like I know you are. Oh! And Tessa is going to try and come tonight. She’s on call, but not actually on shift. So she won’t drink, but she plans on coming to hang out with us for a few minutes, at least.”

  Kate smiled. Tessa worked longer hours than any of them if you didn’t include Kate’s children and schoolwork. To have all three of them out at the same time wasn’t easy these days.

  “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Goody! And maybe you’ll meet the sexy man of your dreams tonight. Just saying.” Her voice, as usual, was soft, but Kate could hear the teasing in Rae’s words. “Don’t let happiness pass you by, Kate.”

  Kate could probably say the same words back to her friend, but she didn’t. Instead, she said her goodbyes and ended the call. The thing was, Kate had already dreamt about a sexy man, and that delicious guy wasn’t a dream. He was a real man from her past that had walked right back into her present.

  And having naughty dreams about Grayson was not what she needed to do in order to live her life the way she wanted to—the way she needed to. No, thank you. He was just passing through before leaving town once again. Kate wanted nothing to do with that—despite the sexy abs and hips.

  She quickly dressed, did something mildly reasonable with her hair, and slapped on makeup. Thankfully, with Jason’s job, she’d been forced to wear makeup often for functions and could put it on in less than five minutes and make it look flawless.

  And that was, once again, enough thinking about Jason. Of course, as soon as she thought that, her phone buzzed with an incoming text. She looked at the readout, and her blood chilled.

  Jason: See you soon.

  And now Kate officially needed that drink. Of course, her ex would be back in town for the reunion.

  By the time she made it to the Grange, parking was a nightmare, but she found a spot under a light post near the back—safety first and all that. She only planned to stay for one drink anyway since she’d driven and had to work the next morning, so it shouldn’t be too late when she left. With so many folks in town for the reunion, she should have realized that tonight would be busy since people wanted to party if they were here with nothing else to do.

  When she made it inside, Tessa and Rae were already at a booth, waving her over with margaritas in their hands—one she knew was for her. She seriously loved her friends. Kate slid into the booth and sighed.

  “Why did I wear heels?” she blurted, trying to stretch her toes.

  “Because wearing flats with those pants would be sacrilege,” Tessa said with a wink before sipping her club soda. “And, hello, by the say.”

  Kate winced. “Sorry. Hello, all. I’m here. Now can I go?”

  Rae shook her head and slid over the extra large margarita. “Nope. You need to drink this first.”

  Kate eyed the pink monstrosity with narrowed eyes. “If I finish that, I won’t be able to walk, let alone drive home.”

  Rae sipped at her drink, rolling her eyes. “It’s only one shot of tequila since this is the Grange and they water everything down. It’s mostly sugar. And if you finish it, that means you need to stay longer than ten minutes just to make sure it’s out of your system. I also ordered nachos and wings because I figured if we’re going to be bad with the sugar, we might as well add in cheese and grease, as well.”

  Kate’s stomach growled, and Rae grinned. Tessa just shook her head before looking down at her phone. “As much as I’d love to clog my arteries, I need to head out.” She waved her phone. “Apparently, they need me back in.”

  “Oh the life of an RN,” Kate said. “Be careful.”

  Tessa grabbed her bag and nodded. “Always am.” Kate slid back out of the booth so Tessa could leave. Tessa hugged them both before waving and heading out the door.

  “Well, at least she tried,” Rae said, her eyes a bit sad.

  Kate stirred her drink, a little melancholy, as well. “I guess.” The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, and she looked up at the door.

  “Who’s that?” Rae asked. “Wait. Is that Grayson Cleary?”

  Kate took a big gulp of her drink, trying to
cool down the heat that singed her cheeks.

  Yep. That was Grayson Cleary walking into the Grange. The same Grayson Cleary that had filled her dreams the night before with heated moments so flame-worthy she’d woken sweaty with her hand down her shorts.

  That Grayson Cleary.

  Of course.

  Chapter Three

  Grayson was once again in a place he didn’t want to be, but since Leah had asked him to show up, and it was either this or sit alone with his dick in his hand in his hotel room, he’d picked the Grange. Leah had promised him a drink, and since he hadn’t been able to get it the night before thanks to his freaking tooth, he was more than ready for one tonight. Thankfully, he hadn’t needed a root canal, so he was able to eat and drink today as long as he didn’t go crazy.

  Of course, that meant he had to find Leah in the mass of people dancing, eating, and playing pool. While the outside of the building hadn’t seen a coat of paint in years, Frank had at least updated the inside a bit with better paneling and new signs. The front of the Grange had the normal hostess station with seating to accommodate families during the daytime to eat and for adults who wanted bar food once the sun went down. Beyond the seating area to the left held a couple of pool tables and other games for people to use. Then, on the right, there was the dance floor area with a mechanical bull separating the gaming and dancing sections.

  He’d never been old enough to come into the Grange when the bull was running, and now that he was old enough, he wasn’t about to hurt himself trying. Though he could still make out the sign near the bull that spoke of the owner—a former professional bull rider—and whoever had the longest time so far.

  The place was a mashup of everything, but it worked.

  Not seeing Leah right away, he made his way to the bar and found one of the few empty stools. Since most people had come in groups, they were either sitting at one of the tables or booths or back in one of the other areas enjoying their night. From what Grayson could tell, there weren’t that many singles tonight. He guessed that made sense, considering so many of his graduating class was here, and they’d hung out in packs back then, as well.