Kiss Kiss

by Various Authors

  That night in his room, he could see in her eyes that she wanted him too. And now the alcohol was making her brave enough to ask for it.

  Del was aware that she was looking at him, that she was waiting for an answer, so he did the only thing he could think of to do.

  He laughed it off.

  “Enough of the sauce, Red.”

  “I’m not drunk,” she snapped.

  “Well, you’re not sober.”

  She looked at him for a second before she rolled her eyes. “I was just asking, Michael,” she said, taking the bottle from his hands and turning forward again.

  She took another slow sip, and for a second, Del thought she was going to drop it, but then she turned back toward him.

  “You said it gets messy, but why does it have to?”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head.

  “If you’re friends with someone,” she continued, “if you care about them and trust them, it shouldn’t get messy.”

  “If you’re friends with someone, that’s the reason it gets messy,” he said tiredly, passing a hand over his eyes.

  “Are you kidding me?” she asked. “You don’t think it would be so much more enjoyable if you cared about the person? Trusted the person?”

  She turned further toward him, hopping up on her knees, growing more earnest as she argued her point. “Look, you told me once that I should use better judgment when it comes to guys, right? And clearly you need help in that area. We both care about each other, so why can’t we just be something a little more to each other instead of going to the wrong people for that kind of thing?”

  She was making sense. Perfect sense. But his mind was already made up.

  “Relationships get messy,” she continued. “But this?” she said, gesturing between them. “This could be great.”

  She was quiet then, and Del knew he needed to respond. He was racking his brain, trying to think of a valid argument, but he couldn’t come up with anything. And not just because she had presented such a strong argument, but because deep down, he wanted exactly what she did.

  He ran his hand down his face and made a desperate attempt at a defense. “You’re a virgin.”

  “So?” she nearly yelled, her voice indignant as she whipped her head toward him. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

  “I’m not making fun of you,” he said quickly, trying to mollify her. “I think it’s great that you are.”

  Her shoulders softened slightly, but her expression was still defensive.

  “But…I’m not taking your virginity. That should be something special.”

  “What’s more special than my best fr—”

  “It’s out of the question, Lauren,” he said firmly, cutting her off.

  Del saw her shoulders drop as she turned forward, the set returning to her jaw.

  He’d used her real name, and she knew that meant he was serious.

  Lauren closed her eyes, and he turned away from her, looking down at the grass as he picked at it with his fingers. There was a reason he went for the girls he did: because the good girls were too good for him.

  And she was the best of them all.

  He had to remember that he had a knack for ruining people’s lives. She’d regret him being the one, he reminded himself. It should be another guy.

  Although the thought of another guy getting to touch her that way, getting to be that for her, was enough to make him want to put his fist through a wall.

  “You know,” she said softly, pulling his attention back to the present, “for someone who’s supposed to be a tough guy, you’re a real chicken shit.”

  He whipped his head toward her, his eyes wide with surprise before he laughed.

  “We’ll talk about this when you’re sober,” he said through a smile, shaking his head as he reached over to take the bottle from her.

  And even though Lauren never brought it up again, he thought about it all the time.

  January 2012

  It felt oddly comfortable to be back on the mats again.

  Lauren looked around the gymnasium as she sat on the floor, stretching her legs. She hadn’t been inside a gymnastics studio in years, and yet she felt immediately at home. The smell of the mats, the sound of the vault springs clanging roughly, the repetitive patter and thuds of hands and feet hitting the mats as someone made a run.

  She couldn’t believe she’d lived here all this time and didn’t know about this place. Then again, she’d never looked for one. When she’d first moved to Bellefonte and started teaching, there was hardly free time for anything, much less an old hobby.

  Lauren stood and began stretching her quads, glancing at the door before she looked to the clock on the far wall. Five minutes to six. They should be here any minute now.

  She smiled, realizing then just how excited she was about the evening.

  Michael had called her earlier in the week, starting the conversation with, “I have a favor to ask you,” and immediately following it up with, “You can totally say no.”

  He explained to her that Erin’s birthday was that weekend, and when he’d asked her what she wanted to do, she’d said, “I want Miss Lauren to teach me flips.” Lauren had told the class a few stories from her time as a gymnast, and apparently Erin was enthralled.

  Michael assured Lauren that he’d made Erin no promises, so if she said no, it would be no big deal—she wouldn’t be letting anyone down. He would just find something else for them to do, and she’d be okay with it.

  And in the middle of his rant, pardoning her for something she hadn’t yet declined, she laughed.

  “Of course I will, Michael,” she’d interrupted, putting him out of his misery. “I’d love to, actually.”

  And she meant it. She had grown so fond of Erin over the past few months; plus, teaching her gymnastics would be combining two of Lauren’s favorite things to do.

  Apparently, in the hopes of her saying yes, Michael had already done his homework. As soon as she agreed, he told her about this place, a mere fifteen minutes from where Lauren lived, and said they held “open gym” on Sunday nights from six to eight: for a small fee, gymnasts could come and use the facility to practice routines or fine-tune their skills.

  So they’d agreed to meet at six, and when Michael cupped the phone and told Erin that Miss Lauren was going to teach her, she could hear the enthusiastic squeal through Michael’s hand.

  A few minutes later, as Lauren was using the wall to get a good stretch on her ankles, she heard the door open, and that same excited peal echoed through the gym.

  “Is she here yet, Daddy?”

  “I’m not sure. Let me just talk to this man for a minute and then we’ll go look for her, okay?”

  Lauren turned to see Michael approach the man at the front desk while Erin hopped from foot to foot, taking a few seconds to balance on each one. She glanced up, catching sight of Lauren, and grinned as she broke into a dead run.

  Michael turned abruptly, reaching out for her, but he immediately relaxed when he saw where she was running. Lauren dropped to her knees and caught Erin in a hug, smiling over her tiny shoulder at Michael. He held up his finger and mouthed “one minute” to her, and she nodded, releasing Erin and leaning back to see her face.

  “Happy birthday!”

  Erin smiled broadly and danced in a circle, waving her hands over her head.

  “Can we flip now?” she sang.

  “Almost,” Lauren said. “First, let’s take off your jacket and shoes.”

  Erin stopped her dance long enough to let Lauren help her remove her coat and sneakers as Michael approached them.

  “Hey,” he said, reaching down to take Erin’s things out of Lauren’s hands. “Thanks again for doing this.”

  “It’s no problem,” she said, looking down at Erin. “We’re gonna have fun, right?”

  “Right!”

  Michael smiled at his daughter’s enthusiasm. “I’m just gonna go put her stuff in one of the l
ockers.”

  “Yep. We’ll be over on the mats,” said Lauren, reaching out for Erin’s hand.

  While Michael put away her things, Lauren stretched Erin out a bit. She knew they wouldn’t be doing anything too intense tonight, but still, she wanted to show her the proper way to approach the sport.

  Erin was an obedient student, just as she was at Learn and Grow, listening in earnest, picking up the stretching techniques Lauren showed her immediately.

  By the time Michael made it back to them, they were about to start, and he took a seat up against the wall a few feet away.

  “Okay, so we’re going to start with a cartwheel. I’m going to show you what it looks like, and then I’ll teach you how to do it, okay?”

  Erin nodded, taking a step back, and Lauren took a few steps away from her before she lifted her arms gracefully. In one quick, fluid movement, she executed a perfect cartwheel, legs extended, toes pointed, coming up on the other side and finishing with her hands raised above her head, the same way she started.

  “Ooooh,” Erin cooed, wide-eyed. “You’re good at that.”

  “It looks fancy, but it’s easy. You ready to try?”

  Erin nodded, and Lauren knelt down in front of her. “Okay, so what I want you to do is lunge forward a little bit. Bend this knee and put your weight on it, and leave this leg straight behind you.”

  Lauren placed her hands on Erin’s waist, adjusting her weight distribution, and she smiled, casting a sly glance at Michael. “You know,” she said just loud enough for him to hear, “I tried to teach your daddy how to do this once.”

  Michael looked over at her and smirked, shaking his head slowly.

  “You did?” Erin asked, looking over at her father.

  “Mm-hm.” Lauren cupped her hand in front of her mouth, feigning a whisper. “But he wasn’t very good.”

  Michael looked down, and she could see his shoulders bounce with laughter.

  Erin raised her eyebrows in surprise before she turned to Michael sympathetically. “Don’t worry, Daddy. I’ll teach you after I learn how.”

  “Thank you, baby girl,” he called before he stuck his tongue out at Lauren, and she chuckled at his juvenile behavior before turning her attention back to Erin.

  “Okay, now I want you to put your arms over your head, the way I did before. Good. Now you’re going to lean over and put your hands side by side on this line, right here, and when they touch the floor, I want your straight leg to come up behind you. Let’s just practice that a few times so you get the feel of it. I’m gonna hold on to you, okay?”

  “‘Kay.” Erin nodded, determination taking over her little features.

  They practiced the motion a few times until Erin was able to do it smoothly. At one point Lauren glanced at Michael, and when he winked at her, she felt heat instantly blooming on her cheeks. She heard him laugh shortly after that, but she had no way of knowing if it was in response to her silly, girlish reaction to such an innocent gesture.

  “Can I try going over?” Erin asked, pulling Lauren’s attention back.

  She cleared her throat. “Um, sure. If you’re ready. I’ll keep my hands on your waist to help you balance. Once your straight leg goes up like we practiced, you’re going to push off with your bent leg to send yourself over. Try to keep your toes pointed and your legs straight.”

  Erin got in position, and Lauren knelt parallel to her, keeping her hands on Erin’s waist to give her a little extra support. The first few were shaky, her legs falling forward or back or bending awkwardly. But the more they did it, the sturdier she became, until finally Lauren was barely touching her waist at all.

  “You want to try one on your own?” Lauren asked, and Erin looked up, somewhat hesitant. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m right here. I won’t let you fall. Promise.”

  With a tiny breath to steel her resolve, Erin nodded and turned, raising her arms above her head. Lauren stood by, ready to grab her at the slightest signal, but she didn’t need to. Erin went over smoothly, landing on the other side with her arms extended like a pro. She whipped her head toward Lauren, grinning from ear to ear before she turned and ran toward her father.

  “I did it! Daddy, I did it! Did you see me? Did you see me?”

  “I saw!” he said, scooping her up. “You were awesome!”

  Lauren watched them with a smile until suddenly, without warning, she was struck with a thought that caused a sharp pang in her chest.

  Michael had been just one year older than Erin was right now when his father left. When his mother pretty much checked out on him.

  So young.

  She looked at Erin, her adoration for her father beaming from her eyes as she looked up at him. She was so vulnerable. So needy. And then she thought of Michael at that age, just as vulnerable, twice as needy, and completely forsaken.

  And suddenly, she felt like crying.

  Lauren wanted to cross the mats and hug him. Just wrap her arms around him and rock him side to side, even though it was years too late to give that little boy the comfort he deserved.

  “Show me a fancy flip!” Erin called as she ran back toward Lauren, and with a quick intake of breath, she shook off the ache in her heart.

  “A fancy flip?” she asked uneasily. “I haven’t done those in a long time.”

  “You can still do it I bet,” Michael said as he followed Erin onto the mat. “Muscle memory.”

  Lauren scrunched her nose at him, and he laughed. “Try something easy. I bet you anything you can still do it.”

  She looked down at Erin, who was staring up at her expectantly, and she took a deep breath. “Okay. Something easy.”

  Erin clapped her hands before taking a step back, pulling her father with her to give Lauren some room.

  Lauren rolled her neck and took another deep breath before she brought her weight forward on her toes. With a little hop, she was off running, bringing her hands to the mat as her legs flipped up behind her, coming together in a perfect line above her head before she whipped them around together toward the mat. As she landed, she rebounded several inches off the floor before extending her hands.

  She definitely had enough power to go over again.

  “Wow!” Erin breathed. “What’s that called?”

  “That’s called a round-off,” she said as she walked back toward them. “I think I’m gonna try one that’s a little fancier.”

  Erin leaned into her father, her eyes pinned on Lauren in awe as she set herself up once more. She tightened her body, put her weight on her toes, and then she was off running again. This time, as her legs whipped around on the round-off, she threw her arms back over her head, executing a perfect back-handspring.

  And because it felt so good, she immediately followed it with another before she hit her landing, arching her back slightly as she extended her arms overhead.

  Erin’s gasp echoed off the walls of the gym. Her face was priceless, some combination of shock and complete worship as she watched Lauren walk back to them.

  Michael was grinning at her. “See? What did I tell you? Muscle memory. That never fails to amaze me, by the way. Watching you do that.”

  “What’s muscle memory?” Erin asked before Lauren could react to his comment.

  He pursed his lips, thinking of a way to explain it. “Well, sometimes if something is really important to you, it gets stuck in your body,” he said, poking her ribs and making her laugh. “So even if your mind thinks that it’s gone, it’s still in there, kind of hiding inside of you, just waiting for you to remember. It never goes away.”

  Lauren stared at him.

  She knew he was talking about her flip, but his words hit much deeper than that.

  He was smiling down at Erin, but when he looked up and saw her expression, his smile fell, his face turning serious.

  For a second, they just stared at each other, and Lauren found that she was struggling to keep her breathing even.

  “What else can we do?” Erin asked excitedly, gripp
ing Lauren’s hand, and she pulled her gaze from his, looking down at Erin.

  “Um,” she said, blinking quickly.

  She could still feel his eyes on her.

  Lauren swallowed hard and lifted her eyes, scanning the gym for a second, and then she saw it.

  The corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. “I have an idea. Come with me,” she said, pulling Erin toward the back corner of the gym.

  They walked across the mats and up the padded incline that dropped off suddenly into an enormous pit of colorful foam blocks. Lauren remembered this being one of her favorite exercises when she just started out.

  Michael walked up the incline behind them, and she glanced over at him. He smiled at her, but his eyes were uneasy. Cautious, even.

  And there he was; she could see him clearly in the expression on Michael’s face. The abandoned little boy.

  This time she couldn’t help it.

  She walked the few steps over to him, wrapping both arms around his waist as she rested her head on his shoulder.

  Instantly she felt the tension drain from his body as he exhaled, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

  “Are those blocks?” Erin asked. “Is this a pool? Why are there blocks in the pool? Are we gonna swim in here? Daddy! Let Miss Lauren go so she can swim with me!”

  Michael laughed softly, planting a kiss on the top of Lauren’s head before he released her. “I was given strict orders not to steal you away from her tonight,” he said. “I’m breaking the rules right now.”

  Lauren laughed. “I think we have to let the birthday girl call the shots tonight,” she said before she unwrapped her arms from around his waist.

  She looked up at him and he smiled, tucking a lock of hair that had fallen free from her ponytail behind her ear at the same time that two tiny hands clasped hers.

  “Let’s swim, Miss Lauren!” Erin said, tugging her away from Michael.

  He took a step back, holding his hands up in surrender, and Lauren couldn’t help but laugh before she turned toward Erin. “It’s not a pool, sweetheart. It’s something called a foam pit. You want to do something cool?”