Kiss Kiss

by Various Authors

  Shit. Shit.

  Well, double shit.

  We stare at each other for a second.

  Crap. This is gonna look bad.

  I’ve got to think of something quick.

  Work, brain, work!

  I see Danny’s binoculars on the floor, half hidden beneath a sock, and I grab them. Then I spy his little telescope on a shelf next to an old Punt, Pass, and Kick trophy. I jump up quick and sweep it onto his bed.

  All this, while he walks over to the door and unlocks it.

  I am amazing and brilliant, I think.

  Especially considering the fact that for the last two hours, my brain has been nothing but mush.

  Danny’s mom bursts into the room.

  She sees me sitting on his bed and grimaces, like she’d walked in on us naked.

  She seems kinda angry as she turns to Danny and says, “What’s going on? Why are you and JJ in here with the door locked and the lights off?”

  Although her voice is stern, there’s a slight panic in it. I can only imagine what she thinks we were doing.

  I mean she could be partially right. But what was going on was, you know, only for academical (I’m not sure if that’s a real word or not) purposes.

  Really!

  However, I don’t think we could explain it that way.

  Danny stands there. I know he is thinking, Busted! I can tell he hasn’t come up with a plausible excuse, and I certainly can’t let him get into trouble.

  He was only helping out his friend.

  And he was really, really, really helpful.

  So I lie easily. “We were just spying on Phillip, Mrs. D.” I hold up the binoculars innocently and point across the street toward Phillip’s window. Thank God, Phillip is sitting at his desk doing something on his computer.

  She walks to the window and looks over at Phillip.

  I give Danny a hopeful glance.

  He winks back at me.

  “Okay, so why was the door locked?”

  “Um, well,” I lie some more, “so no one came in and blew our cover. You can see how the hall light just lit this room up.” I sweep my arms out into a circle. I’m kind of getting into this.

  Danny and I even duck when Phillip glances, seemingly on cue, our way. I knew Phillip could read my mind because I have been sending him telepathic messages to do just that!

  Only I hope he wasn’t reading my mind earlier. I’m not sure I would want him to know the things I might have been thinking about Danny.

  Uh, yeah.

  “He keeps looking over here. He might know it’s us.” Danny whispers, like he’s afraid Phillip can hear us. “We’ve been sending him secret admirer Instant Messages.”

  I go further with Danny’s lie, laugh and say, “It’s been pretty hilarious, because he’s been trying to juggle between our messages and his girlfriend’s.”

  But then I glance at Danny’s computer and suddenly realize it is not even turned on.

  Shit!

  I need to come up with something good to get her out of here fast!

  Oh. I’ve got it. “We also caught him perusing some fairly entertaining websites.”

  I don’t say, As, in porn, but the way I have my eyebrows raised and a big grin on my face, I’m pretty sure she gets my drift, because all of a sudden her face goes white and she looks embarrassed.

  Apparently this was way too much information.

  “Fine,” she says. “I’ll leave the lights off, but the door stays open.”

  Thankfully, she goes back downstairs. Probably straight to the phone to call Mrs. Mac and get Phillip in trouble.

  “Thanks,” Danny says, blowing out a big breath of air. “I couldn’t come up with a good excuse. My mind was just blank.”

  “Well, you caught up quick. The ducking was brilliant.”

  “What can I say?” Danny high fives me. “We’re a good team.”

  A good kissing team is what I’m thinking, but I doubt that’s what he’s referring to.

  “Um, I suppose I better get home. I uh, didn’t leave a note or anything. I mean, I, uh, didn’t expect this to take so long.”

  Funny, I didn’t feel at all embarrassed when we were making out, but I feel a little awkward now. Part of me wants to run and hide, the other part of me wants to lock the world away, so I can kiss him some more.

  You know, for practice’s sake only!

  “Come on, I’ll walk you home,” Danny says, not the least bit awkwardly.

  I follow him down the stairs and out the door.

  “Uh, thanks for that and everything. I, um,” I stutter and wring my hands. “Danny, do you think I did okay? I mean, will I do alright on my date?”

  “You know, I don’t think so, Jay.” He shakes his head and hangs it in apparent sorrow.

  I look at that boy, shocked.

  Then he continues with a sly grin, “It may take many more long, grueling hours of practice for you to get it right. But,” he raises his hand to his heart, “I can tell you’re committed to learning, so I’ll just have to take one for the team and give you some more private lessons.”

  I stare at that goofy boy.

  “You know what they say, practice makes perfect. Let’s see, how about every day after school?”

  “Um, you have football practice,” I reply with a duh in my voice.

  “Damn,” he says, moving his arm in an aw-shucks fashion and snapping his fingers. “But hey, you know, anything for a friend.”

  “Danny, you are so noble, but I think you’d better go to practice. You can’t play for the Huskers someday if you don’t.”

  I look him in those beautiful blue eyes. It’s almost too bad I kept my eyes closed while I was kissing him. “Seriously though, thank you. I was so freaked out when I got to your house, and now I’m, like, totally relaxed.”

  “Ah, yeah,” Danny laughs, “two straight hours of kissing will do that.”

  “It didn’t seem like that long,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief.

  “Never does. Um, let’s not, you know, mention this to anyone.”

  “Duh.”

  “I doubt Brittany would approve of my tutoring you in this particular subject,” he laughs, referring to his sorta girlfriend.

  “I think you’re probably right. And you should know that I appreciate your selflessness in my time of need.”

  “You’ll do fine on your date.” He kisses me on the cheek, throws his arm around my shoulder, and says in a practiced Southern drawl, “JayJay dar-lin’, when you’re ready ta move on past kissin’ and want ta do some more practicin’, you just come and see ol’ Uncle Danny. Any time. Keep it in the family, Luv.”

  Oh jeez, now he’s British.

  I just shake my head at him. He really cracks me up.

  “You’re sick. You know that?”

  “Yeah, well, that’s why you love me,” is his smart-ass reply.

  We are at my front porch now. I just smile, shake my head at that boy, and walk in my front door.

  Up in my room, I lie on my bed and close my eyes. My lips feel all tingly. In fact, I feel like we’re still kissing. I think it’s kind of like when you've been on a boat all day and even though you’re off it, you still can feel it rocking.

  I’m really looking forward to my date now.

  When Phillip calls me at ten o’clock for our nightly phone call, I tell him I have a headache and am going to sleep. I don’t want to ruin the way I feel with mindless conversation.

  Danny, Phillip, and I are sitting on the hood of Phillip’s car in the parking lot of the baseball field, drinking and eating sunflower seeds. The salt’s burning my lips, but it doesn’t stop me from sucking it off the seeds. I had an early softball game, and then stayed to watch the boys’ baseball game against Park City, a neighboring small town. Everyone else has left, so the lot is dark and deserted.

  We haven’t left because we are still trying to figure out what we’re going to do tonight.

  We live in Westown, Nebraska. It�
��s a small town, not far from Omaha. My parents say we are really lucky because we get the best of both worlds, small town life with big city amenities. Westown has an old downtown and a newer part up by the highway that goes through town. This little strip consists of your basic small town stuff: bank, bowling alley, ice cream store, and gas station. This is the area we cruise when there is nothing better to do.

  Which is a lot.

  Down the highway a little farther are Johnny’s Pizza, the high school, and the viaduct that takes you out of town.

  Tonight there is a party at Billy Prescott’s house, and a bunch of the guys on the baseball team are going up to Johnny’s for pizza first.

  It’s a small town, and if we feel like going out, those are our only real options.

  Actually, that is not true.

  I mean, there are an infinite number of places we could go and things we could do. We just say that because we like to complain that there is nothing cool to do around here. I am assuming that other teenagers say the same thing, even if they live somewhere amazing, like Paris or New York.

  The problem tonight is that the boys aren’t motivated to go home and change.

  And, personally, I have no desire to go anywhere. I love hanging out with them.

  Our backs are against the windshield, and we are staring at the brilliant stars. It’s a clear, warm summer night, and you can see millions of them.

  Oh. In case there are any men out there freaking out about Phillip’s paint job, please note that we are sitting on a blanket to protect it.

  Phillip loves his car.

  It’s a very nice car, although, I forget what kind it is. But since it’s blue, I really don’t care. I mean if you are going to go to the trouble of having a car, shouldn’t it be red?

  Red cars are so sexy. I am so hoping for a red one soon. I really want a red Mustang convertible, but I’m sure I will get something boring and reliable, like a four door something-or-other.

  I keep hinting to my parents about a car. I turned sixteen three whole months ago.

  They say they have taken it under advisement.

  I’m pretty sure that means no.

  We are just sitting here, spitting seeds and chatting occasionally.

  That’s one of the things I love about hanging out with boys.

  They don’t feel the need to fill every second with words and talk.

  Like my girlfriends.

  Sometimes they talk so much it makes my head hurt.

  Speaking of girlfriends, it’s Friday night.

  Girls’ night.

  I’m truly breaking a cardinal rule by not being out with them. I’m pretty sure it’s written in our town’s laws that Friday night is girlfriend night, and Saturday night is date night. Kind of like in Footloose, where there is a stupid town law against dancing.

  You know what my favorite part of that movie is?

  Well, duh, it’s definitely not the dancing. I love her red cowboy boots. I mean, I know I sort of live in the country, but I don’t own even one pair of cowboy boots. Someday, I’m going to buy myself a pair of red ones, just like the ones in the movie.

  Hey, they could match my red car!

  Sorry. Where was I?

  Oh yeah.

  I sort of had to lie to Katie and Lisa about what I was doing tonight. I couldn’t really tell them I was just hanging out with the boys. They would’ve given me a hard time. Besides, they were going to a party some Park boys invited them to, and I thought that could only lead to trouble. And since I’m lobbying so hard for a car, I have to be responsible. I have been very responsible lately and have not gotten grounded in four months.

  Which is like a record for me.

  And I’m really quite proud of this accomplishment.

  Besides, even though it’s supposed to be girlfriend night, all they want to do is go out and look for boys. Or talk about them. Why can’t it be friend night, and why do girls think they can only be friends with other girls?

  The only time one of my friends has any interest in being a boy’s friend is when she has her sights set on him as a boyfriend. First, she pretends to want to be his friend so he will notice her. And sometimes they even do become friends, but once she accomplishes that, she will try to make him her boyfriend.

  I don’t get it.

  Danny finally breaks the silence. “So you’re missing girls’ night out, huh, Jay?”

  “What exactly do you guys do, anyway?” Phillip asks.

  “Usually drive around town and look for cute boys,” I reply.

  Danny wonders, “Then how come when we drive around looking for you, a lot of times we can’t find you? It’s like you’re nowhere to be found.”

  “Well, sometimes we go to other towns and shop for imports.” I grin.

  “Imports?” Phillip questions, as he spits a seed.

  “Yeah, that’s what Lisa and Katie are doing tonight. Going to the party in Park. They’re not happy with the current supply of boys here, so they’re shopping for imports. Get it?”

  “You know, I’ve heard them say that before, but I always thought you guys were looking at, like, BMWs,” Phillip says, shaking his head.

  “You would,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  “Girls are goofy,” Danny states. “And I thought Katie was dating Neil.”

  I shrug. I have no answer for that. Cuz she is. But she was seriously crushing on the cute third baseman from Park City, so she was hoping sparks might fly at the party tonight. And then Neil will probably be history. Which is too bad. Neil is a sweetheart.

  “So, let me get this straight,” Phillip says wisely. “On Saturday night you go out with your boyfriend, and on Friday night you go out and look for your new boyfriend.”

  “That pretty much sums it up,” I say. “Or try to see what your current boyfriend is up to. You never know. He could be out with another girl. Speaking of that, Danny, did you tell Tiffany you would be hanging with me tonight?”

  He shakes his head no.

  “I didn’t think so. But I understand because that’s the thing with girls: you could tell her you’re gonna hang out with me, and it would turn into one big jealous mess. Phillip, your girlfriends always get mad at you about that. It’s just easier not to tell them. They tend to be so dramatic. I mean, either they are crazy in love, or terribly jealous, or got dumped, or can’t get the guy they like to notice them. And God forbid, if he finally does notice them and they get together and have a one night stand, and then he doesn’t call and they feel even worse.”

  I don’t say it because this is top secret girl knowledge, but this happened to Lisa recently. This older guy she had been crushing on forever talked and flirted and kissed her at a party, then offered to take her home. I tried to tell her not to go with him, but she didn’t listen. And, of course, they went parking, and she was a little drunk, and, uh, well, things happened. One night stand kinds of things. Losing her virginity kind of things. Then he never called. She has been beating herself up about it for weeks. So I’m hoping she will meet a nice, cute boy in Park City to restore her faith in men.

  “Whoa,” Phillip says, suddenly very interested in what I’m saying, “go back to the one night stand part.”

  “Yeah,” says Danny. “Who’s having one night stands, and why aren’t they having them with Mac and me?”

  I can’t help but laugh at Danny on that one, because, well, I guess he’s not a one night stand kind of guy. He’s more the guy that you date for a week, fall in love with, have sex with, and three weeks later, it’s probably over. And somehow it’s okay with you, because you had three glorious weeks with him. And you would do it all over again.

  Typically, girls hate guys like this. They feel used or taken advantage of. But not Danny’s girls. They all love him, even after he leaves them. Which leaves most of us wondering, how does he do it? I’m sure if we did an in-depth investigation into this phenomenon, we would find out it’s some kind of magic combination.

  Killer Abs + Devil gri
n + Easygoing, aw-shucks attitude + Sparkle + Great arms + Amazing kisser + Star Quarterback + Dreamy blue eyes = Irresistible.

  He is so cute.

  “Jaaaay,” Danny says, interrupting my thoughts. “Hello? Pay attention. We are talking about one night stands.”

  Shit. I can’t tell them about Lisa. So I, uh, make up something.

  “Oh, uh, well, maybe not one night stands, actually. I mean sometimes there is sex involved, but usually it’s just that maybe there is an older guy that a girl crushes on, and he pays attention to her at a party and offers to take her home, but of course they end up parking, and she just does more with him than she planned, and then he never calls. Or even worse, he’s a total gentleman, and they just talk and kiss, and she thinks he’s the one, and then he never calls. All I am trying to say is that when I go out with the girls, we can’t just sit peacefully on the hood of a car, stare at the sky, and enjoy life. They are always stressing and obsessing about something. They dissect every conversation, every stare, every word.”

  “You’re a girl, and you’re not like that,” Phillip tells me. “Maybe you need some new friends.”

  “No,” I say, shaking my head. “I think that they’re probably normal, and that I'm just weird.”

  “Yeah, well we know that,” Danny teases and then pelts me in the face with a wet sunflower seed from his mouth. “But we love ya anyway, Jay.”

  Go Westown Warriors!!

  What a game!

  What a close, exciting, exhilarating game!

  Danny was amazing!

  We were behind by a touchdown at half time, but ended up winning by six! And Danny won the game practically single-handedly! There were only two minutes left in the game when Coach called a quarterback sneak. Danny ran through the line, broke the huge linebacker’s tackle, and went running forty yards down the field. He was dodging tackles, dragging guys behind him, and twisting out of their arms. It was an amazing run, and we all thought he was going to score, until we saw the safety, barreling sideways across the field and ready to hit him at the five-yard line. Danny was not to be stopped though. He put his left arm out and his shoulder down and ran right over the guy and into the end zone.