Kiss Kiss

by Various Authors

  “Once it looked like the collaboration was going to go forward, and I could tell you two were developing . . . feelings for each other, it became a problem for me on an ethical level. I didn’t want to involve you with something like this. But, my hands were tied as far as what I could tell you.” Adrian shrugged and took a seat next to Bo.

  “But Bo, you had no problem involving me?” No thought was sacred.

  “Ember, you’re not involved, nor did I plan on you ever finding out. This is a personal attack by some assholes. Adrian was convinced you’d find out anyway, especially when he couldn’t get you to stay away from me.” Bo’s mouth hooked into a seductive, wicked grin.

  “Adrian, why do you feel it’s so important for me to know? You and I are in agreement that I’d probably find out anyway; wouldn’t that have boded better for you, in the end?”

  “What are you talking about?” Adrian looked at me curiously.

  “You could have told me right away, right? You’ve been cryptic all week, telling me to be careful around Bo, and I still can’t tell if that has to do with me and Bo or just me. Was this for his protection, mine, or yours?” I spoke frankly and laid it all out for Adrian.

  “Ember,” Adrian sighed, “I don’t understand why you think I’m such an asshole. Aside from really wanting to keep you safe, it kills me to see you with someone else. I miss you, Blue.”

  Blue. A lacy black corset tightened itself neatly around my throat with a wide satin bow. My eyes tripled in size, as if they were trying to hear what he’d said.

  Adrian, and Adrian alone, had called me “Blue” when we were an “us.” His honesty held my heart captive and misted my eyes. Never, in the history of ever, had Adrian Turner been that vulnerable. He seemed to sense his slip; he bowed his head and jammed his hands into his pockets. The ocean quieted its white caps, and the stars hushed as the world awaited my response.

  “Adrian, I’ve missed you too. I honestly didn’t know how much I’d missed you until I saw you. I’m glad we reconnected, but you have to admit this is fucked up - even for us. You should have told me about what was going on, or at the very least encouraged Bo to tell me sooner than this. I know you’re bound by laws and oaths, and all of that, but you know me and I respect confidences.”

  Blue? I’m expected to speak after that, and you can’t even look at me?

  “I guess you’re right . . .” he trailed off, meeting my stare with his espresso eyes.

  Bo sat back during my exchange with Adrian. There were years of history pulsing rapidly between Adrian and me. Bo seemed to be chewing the scene against the inside of his cheek. I was still feeling off-balance when I realized some of my earlier questions had gone unanswered. I buried “Blue” in the sand for the moment.

  “What’s the blackmail about, Bo?” I asked bluntly.

  “The past. It doesn’t even really have to do with me. It’s nothing I’ve done or said or anything like that; I’m just the one with the money.” He shrugged, trying for passive, settling for anxious.

  “Do you know who is blackmailing you?”

  “Yes.” Black passion leaked from his voice and beckoned a chill through my core.

  “Who?”

  “He can’t tell you that right now,” Adrian cut in quickly, before Bo had even opened his mouth to answer.

  “OK. Well, are you in any physical danger?” I stood up and walked toward Bo, who seemed worn out by this confession.

  “He’s not,” Adrian cut in again, but I noted that Bo hadn’t made any motion to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ “If he were,” Adrian continued, “this would be a much different situation and we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all.” As Adrian finished, Bo looked up at me hopelessly.

  This was a lot. We both came to the table with various pieces of emotional baggage, for sure. But, the fact that Bo’s involved blackmail, and Adrian, was a little too much for me to handle. I had to sort this out to the best of my ability. I was still madly in love with Bo, that much was certain, but there was still something lingering on his face that heightened my senses; never mind “Blue,” who was still buried in the sand.

  Of course, neither one of them could be completely honest with me regarding this situation because of ethics and laws. Irony raised its mocking eyebrow at my previous anxiety regarding telling my boss about my relationship with Bo. Those ethics paled in comparison to this freak-show.

  I needed to take a walk and consider if I could go forth with the business end of the trip to Concord knowing what I knew. Could I tell Monica? I couldn’t think about all of this with these two men sitting in front of me, watching me for a reaction. I stood up.

  “I’ve got to take a walk. I’ll be back in a few.”

  “I’ll come with you.” Bo stood and reached for my hand.

  “Dude, let her go. She needs a minute,” Adrian replied self-righteously.

  Bo turned to Adrian, “I think I’ve got this Turner, thanks.”

  “No. Bo, Adrian’s right, I need a minute.” I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, wincing at the fact that ‘Adrian’s right’ even came out of my mouth. But, he was right.

  Bo squeezed my hand back before dropping it.

  “It’s ok, Bo, really. I just . . . need a minute.” I kissed him softly on the cheek.

  As I headed off, Josh poked his head outside and said, “Bo, you’re up.” I looked back, gave him an encouraging wave, and watched him head inside before I turned back around.

  * * *

  A half hour later I was left with more questions than answers as I made my way back to Finnegan’s. I was madly in love with Bo Cavanaugh and, for the first time in my life, love was enough - more than enough - to carry me through whatever questions remained.

  I spotted Bo leaning against the exterior wall of the bar as I got closer; his eyes broke into relief when he gauged my face. I returned a smile of reassurance, as he started walking toward me at a more-than-cautious pace.

  “You came back,” he said.

  “I told you, I just needed a minute.” I forced an over-hopeful tone to calm his apparent nerves.

  “Or thirty,” he teased as he caught up to me in the sand, just outside the back deck.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist, securing me to him.

  “Where did you think I was going to go?” I asked as I pulled way. Bo held me at arm’s length.

  “Well, that was a lot of information.” Bo released one hand from me and ran it through his distressed hair.

  “Actually, it really wasn’t and I’m fine with that. I need to tell you, I ran through a lot of scenarios in my head, and they all led me back here, to you. You’re you, Bo, and I’m me; there’s going to be stuff that we have to work through as we get to know each other’s nuts and bolts. No one ever just spills it all out on day one.” I poured all the passion I could through my eyes as I looked at him.

  “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again - you’re perfect, November. I was so distracted during the last set I played; those seven songs took an eternity to get through. I didn’t know if I’d find you out here when I was done. As soon as I saw the look on your face I knew that no matter what your mouth said, your heart was still mine.” He held my face the entire time he spoke, and punctuated it with a longing kiss.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life - my new life. A life that would forever, hopefully, include Bo Cavanaugh. I certainly wasn’t going to throw all of that at him, but I knew my decisions from there on out would be based with this fact in mind; Bo is mine. Our lips touched, and our tongues intertwined for what felt like the first time in days. I ran my hands roughly through his hair as he grasped the back of my neck. I grazed my hands over his shoulders and down his tight arms, resting them on his hips. He pulled me in tighter.

  “Uh, mhmm?” A throat-cleansing cough pulled us apart.

  I pulled away from my favorite reality to see Josh standing awkwardly in the doorway.

  “Joshua,” I said teasi
ngly, “what can we do for you?”

  Bo laughed as he placed one last kiss on my neck and turned around.

  “I was, uh, can I talk to you.” He shrugged as he walked toward me.

  “Oh, sure, of course. Bo, could you give us a few?” Bo looked at me with a sarcastic smile. “I really do mean just a few.”

  “Ha!” He brushed my hair over my shoulder. “Sure, I’ll go inside and play a few more songs.”

  “Great!” Josh entered. “They’ll love it. Everyone’s bummed you’re leaving town.”

  Just like that the wind left my sails. I was heading to Concord with Bo, and would be there until at least Monday afternoon, but what would happen after that? I really hadn’t given much thought to “then what” until Josh spoke. Once again I was left with more questions than answers, but reminded myself that love was the answer I’d settled on during my walk.

  “You OK Ember? You look pale,” Josh asked.

  “Yeah, it’s just been a crazy couple of days.” I nudged Bo inside. He didn’t seem convinced by my answer, but his hand gave mine a quick hug before he headed inside.

  Josh sat at one of the tables just off the deck, and I sat down next to him. He fidgeted with his hands. Although he’d asked me to talk, I gathered I was going to have to be the first one to speak.

  “Where’s Monica?” I cracked the silence.

  “She was still tired from last night. She headed home when she realized you were still walking, or thinking, or whatever. She said it was OK if I talked to you.” Josh’s nerves were audible above the surf.

  “Josh, it’s OK, we’re friends. How’d your talk with Monica go?”

  “Good. I was such an ass to back away from her because I was scared. Truth is, I didn’t back away from her because I thought she wasn’t my ‘thousand lifetimes’; I backed away because she is.” For the first time since he stepped outside, Josh’s eyes met mine. Holy shit, he’s serious.

  “Well why did you - I’m sorry, what?” I looked at him as if he had just spoken in a foreign tongue.

  “Yea, I know, total guy move, right? I was just so blown away by what Bo said he felt for you. He was, at least in part, describing how I felt for Monica and it freaked me out. I’ve never had any commitment issues, but I panicked.” Josh shook his head in disbelief as he heard his own words.

  “I wish you would have at least said something to me before you turned her into a crying mess. I can’t begin to tell you how little I thought of you in that moment. Ha, well, it looks like I’m telling you how little I thought of you. I knew something was off with how quick and random it was; you didn’t even look her in the eyes Josh. Christ! Really, you should have talked to me first.” I narrowed my eyes, condemning the past he was trying to forget.

  “No,” he shook his head, “I couldn’t. I would have had to tell you what Bo said, and that’s his business, not mine.”

  “Ha. Now that is a total guy move,” I laughed as I stood and walked over to him. “So, I’m guessing you guys are OK?”

  Josh stood and welcomed my hug. I loved Josh dearly, and the fact that he was my best friend’s boyfriend made the reunion that much sweeter.

  “Yea, but she said if I pulled a stunt like that again she’d make out with Adrian Turner in front of me.”

  I broke out in full-bellied laughter at the thought of Adrian, who makes every guy instantly insecure, kissing Monica to spite Josh.

  “She’s not kidding, and he’d totally do it, too. Hey, where is Adrian anyway?” I was silently thrilled that I didn’t think of him from the time I left the deck until this very moment.

  “He took off after he came inside. He told Mon he’d see you guys in Concord on Monday.” Josh shrugged.

  Instantly I was irritated. He couldn’t even say goodbye to me after all the mess that took place outside? Noting the look on my face, Josh offered more.

  “He didn’t want to watch you and Cavanaugh, so he bolted.”

  Despite my annoyance, I was grateful for his departure. I would tell Monica about the blackmail issue after the meeting on Monday; I didn’t need her all freaked out during our meeting with Tristan MacMillian and William Holder. I was more determined than before to make this collaboration between our organizations work; a thousand lifetimes upped the ante, after all.

  We walked inside to catch the end of Bo’s set. He was singing something that must have been his, because I didn’t recognize it from anywhere. We only caught the last line that he husked in a sultry voice to the microphone,

  “…green eyes to blue

  and an I love you . . .”

  Josh threw his arm around me in a playful squeeze.

  “That boy has it bad, Em.” Relaxed and fun Josh was back.

  “What are you talking about, that’s not about me - is it?” I asked, though I already knew the answer. “When did he have time to write that?”

  “Musicians, write all the time in their head. Everything you’ve ever said or done in front of him is catalogued for future use.” Josh was serious; he knew music and their musicians.

  Bo thanked the crowd and left the stage with his guitar still slung over his shoulder. Seriously, could he get any hotter? As he got closer, his post-set grin turned to a passionate stare. The urgency in his unexpected kiss took the strength out my legs. As much as I wanted to leave for Concord with him tomorrow, I knew that would mean that the last week was coming to an end.

  “Bo,” I gasped as I pulled his waist closer to mine, tilting my head back, “take me home.” Now was not the time for questioning.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Darkness enveloped me as hollow footsteps threatened from behind. I ran faster. Even though I knew I was dreaming, it felt so real. Sounds of muted pain echoed in my ears as I screamed for help. In the distance I heard him call, “Are you OK?”

  “Ember? Hey, Ember, wake up!” Bo’s voice rang with panic.

  I sat up in a flash, breathing heavily, looking around. It was just a dream. Embarrassed, my cheeks flushed. “Sorry,” I tried to regulate my breath, “bad dream.” Bo pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head as I struggled to pull myself back to reality.

  “Hey, don’t be sorry. I had vivid night terrors the year after my parents died.” He squeezed me tighter, “What was it about?”

  “Just . . . being chased.” I shrugged as the nightmare slipped away.

  “Well, good thing you run.” He playfully rolled me over and swatted my butt, eliciting a horrifically girlish giggle from my throat.

  “Can we go to Concord yet? Do you have to check out of your hotel?” I smirked as I stepped out of bed.

  “We can leave whenever, I checked out last night.” He winked as he rose to meet me at my bedroom door.

  “Overconfident much?” I playfully punched him in the stomach as he slid past me and headed for the bathroom

  I stared at the closed bathroom door, remembering our night. All the anxiety and stress from our morning dealing with Josh, to the revelation of Bo’s blackmailing, slipped away as soon as we left Finnegan’s.

  When we returned to my apartment, I got in the shower. Having heard a small knock on the door, I poked my head out from behind the curtain; Bo stood before me in naked splendor. Wordlessly, I let him in. We spent several minutes soaping each other, washing the heavy off our shoulders and down our backs. He lifted me against the shower wall and kissed me without mercy or pause. He carried me to the bedroom before we collapsed breathlessly in each other’s arms. Passion toweled us dry against my sheets until dawn. Yes, last night was a home run.

  “Yo, Dream Girl, you OK?” Bo was suddenly in front of me, snapping me out of my memory.

  “Are you picking on me for having a nightmare?” My brow furrowed.

  “Jesus, no, sorry,” he chuckled, “you’re just…never mind.” He smiled as he lifted me and spun me around. “Let’s get the hell out of here,” he breathed into my ear.

  * * *

  I called Monica before Bo and I left. I told h
er I talked to Josh last night, and encouraged her to spend the weekend really talking with him and working it out - they were so good together I couldn’t bear the disaster that would follow a full break up.

  As we headed off the Cape, I thumbed through Bo’s CDs and his iPod.

  “Indigo Girls, Alanis, The Wailin’ Jennys . . . are you sure there’s not a vagina hiding in this car somewhere?” I teased as I looked back and mockingly searched.

  Bo chuckled, “I like good music, and that is good music; there are some balls in there - keep looking.” He grinned as he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips.

  After a few minutes of Mumford and Sons, I took a breath and forged ahead with the question I rehearsed in my head all night and this morning.

  “What’s the blackmail about?” I turned to face him.

  Bo swallowed hard and released my hand, placing his back on the steering wheel. “I’m not really supposed to-”

  “Fuck Adrian Turner.” I cut him off.

  “It’s not just that, Ember . . .”

  “Well either it’s such a big deal that you should drop me off on the side of the road right now so I can run scared back to Barnstable, or it’s handled enough that you can tell me. I don’t get naked and tell just anyone that I love them, Bowan, you have to trust me. Trust is really important, you know.” I realized with building irritation, that I hated not being trusted.

  “November, you can trust me, too. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.” His tone told me I’d pushed far enough.

  “Sorry,” I said as I turned my shoulders back to the windshield and let out a long breath. I reached for the “play” button again, but he stopped me.

  “No, it’s ok. Look, you’re right; I owe you something after all we’ve gone through this last week.”

  “I’m sorry for pushing you, it’s your business . . .” I conceded, though I really wanted to know.

  “It’s about Rachel.”

  “Your sister?” My pulse quickened as my voice rose.