Defensive Zone

by Catherine Gayle

  I ought to send Dani away, but I couldn’t make myself do anything about her interference.

  Shelby sighed into the phone. “I know you are. But I’m okay, so you need to calm down, all right?”

  “It’s not as easy as that. It doesn’t work that way.”

  “I know it’s not easy,” Shelby said at the same moment as Dani wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head against my back. She was trying to comfort me, but there wasn’t any point. I was well beyond comfort.

  “You swear you’re all right?” I asked, ignoring the fact that Dani was listening in on my end of the conversation, which could only lead to questions I shouldn’t answer.

  “I’m perfectly fine, just like last time,” Shelby insisted. “Megan would have ignored me and called you as soon as it happened if I was hurt. But I’m not sure how much longer the two of us will be able to handle this,” she admitted.

  That was the first time since our parents’ car wreck that either of my sisters had been willing to acknowledge what I already knew. Before this, they were constantly reassuring me that they had it under control, that they were doing fine.

  If this were anyone but my baby sister, I might feel vindicated. Instead, all I felt was a crushing weight of uncertainty, because I still didn’t have a clue how we were going to handle this mess.

  “I’m going to find somewhere we can send him,” I promised her. It felt like an empty promise, though, because I’d been making it to both my sisters for a long time now, and I hadn’t come any closer to being able to follow through with it. “Keep me updated. On everything.”

  “We will. But Cody?”

  “Hmm?” I asked, not sure I wanted to hear what she intended to say next.

  “Find a way to relax some, okay? Megan and I are worried about you.”

  “I’m worried about you, too.”

  “I know. Love you. Go get some rest.”

  That wasn’t likely to happen. I told her I loved her and hung up.

  I’d barely shoved the phone back into my pocket before Dani was inching around in front of me. She stood between my thighs and looked up into my eyes. I’d seen this serious expression on her face before—when her sister had been sick with cancer. I hated seeing it again now. Her brows were drawn together, and her lips—those lips I loved kissing so much—were in a thin line.

  “Tell me,” she murmured.

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to weigh you down with my problems.”

  “Oh, get over yourself already.”

  Her vehemence took me completely by surprise. I backed away just a bit, looking down at her. She had the same look of determination on her face that she usually had while trying to get me to take her to bed. I didn’t know what to do with that. She’d never tried to get involved in my personal life before—just to get into my bed.

  I was so surprised by her reaction that the words came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them. “There’s a situation at home,” I said. Then I realized what I was doing, and I clammed up.

  “What kind of situation?”

  “The kind of situation that I don’t want to burden you with.”

  “Oh, please. Every family has stuff. My sister had cancer twice. My brother’s a gay hockey player. It’s all out there. Spill it.”

  But there was no way I could burden her with my problems. Instead, I decided to distract her in more productive ways. I collapsed on one of my kitchen stools, tugged her between my legs, and wrapped my arms around her waist.

  The second my hands were on her, she seemed to forget about trying to drag it all out of me. Thank God for that. I didn’t want her to put herself in the middle of all the shit taking place in my life.

  When Dani kissed me again, there was nothing soft or airy about it. Her kiss was insistent, her hands fisting in my hair. I let out a groan, greedily losing myself in her. Taking her to my bed wouldn’t solve any of the problems weighing me down, but it would sure as hell be nice to forget about my life for just a little while.

  She moved in closer. I kissed her neck, then her collarbone, my hands delving into her softness. I could get drunk on the feel of her.

  And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to feel that way. “Take me to bed, Cody,” she pleaded, her voice barely more than a husky whisper.

  Take her to bed? That was an order I was all too ready to follow. And maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to convince her to stop trying to dig through my problems. I stood up, grabbed her hand, and barreled up the stairs, dragging her along behind me. I might not be able to solve many of the problems currently swarming my head, but I could at least take care of Dani’s needs.

  Which meant I wasn’t completely useless.

  Only mostly useless.

  ONCE CODY FELL asleep, fully sated, I inched my way to the edge of the bed and leaned over the side to fish around for his pants—because I was almost positive his phone would be in them still. Sure enough, his cell phone was tucked in the left front pocket. I dug it free, slipped my own phone out of the pocket of my pants, then rolled out of the bed and headed for the bathroom, cautious not to wake him.

  As quietly as I could, I closed the door behind me and turned on the light. I didn’t want to risk blinding him with the glare of the phone or the harsh lights in the bathroom, after all, and this way, I could pretend I’d just needed to pee if he woke up and wanted to know what I was doing.

  Now to figure out how to get into his phone. I pressed the home button, sure I’d need to put in a password of some sort. I figured I could try some combination of Professor OTK if necessary. But nope, it came to life for me right away! The silly man didn’t require a password to unlock his phone. Good grief. Any puck bunny could come along, sneak his phone away from him, and find out all sorts of things he didn’t want them to know.

  I tried not to let my guilt weigh me down too much over the fact that I was doing exactly that. I wasn’t a puck bunny, after all, and it was for a good cause, damn it. I had to find out what the heck was weighing him down so much, and since he was determined not to burden me with his problems, that meant I had to do a bit of investigative digging on my own. Good thing I was well versed in pseudostalking.

  My first stop was his text messages. Lucky for me, he didn’t seem inclined to delete them very often. He had a few on top from some of the guys on the team. I ignored those, because they weren’t likely to have what I wanted. Most hockey players spoke in grunts and curses, and their text messages usually devolved to a series of emoji. I should know. My father was a hockey player, and my brother was still trying to make a career of it in Germany, and I was lucky to get messages from either of them that I could interpret without a decoder. But a few spots down the list, I found a group text between Cody and two women, Megan and Shelby, both with the last name Williams. Jackpot. These two chicks had to be his sisters.

  And that was another thing I needed to gripe at him about—how come he’d never told me anything about his family? I knew he had two sisters, but I didn’t know the first thing about them other than the fact that they existed. I didn’t know anything about his parents, either. He knew everything there was to know about my family since we were all up in the Storm’s business, but he might as well be an enigma. But griping at him would have to wait until later, because I had research to do.

  The topmost message was from Cody.

  I’ll figure something out. I will. I promise.

  Hmm. I quickly scrolled down several screens to see if I could figure out what the conversation was about. It didn’t take me long to figure out that this group convo between the siblings had been going on for a very long time. I had to scroll a long time before I could make heads or tails of it. But then I stumbled on something that made me stop and stare.

  Shelby: Stop worrying, OK? I already told you, he didn’t hurt me.

  Did she have a husband or boyfriend who was beating her up? That would definitely be enough to get under Cody’s skin. My pseudostalker antenna on
high alert, I kept reading.

  Cody: But he could have. Next time, he might.

  Megan: We can’t worry about next time, or that’s all we’ll ever do.

  Cody: We HAVE to worry about next time. There can’t BE a next time.

  Shelby: Well, how are we going to manage that?

  Cody: I still don’t know. I’ll figure it out.

  I scrolled back further and saw things about their father getting kicked out of his care facility after something that they hinted about but never mentioned in detail, and how Cody’s sisters were juggling their work schedules to take care of him.

  Not a boyfriend, then, but their father. How awful.

  Good grief, I wanted to kick myself. I was a shitty, selfish person. That was all there was to it. I’d been worried about nothing more than getting my rocks off with Cody as often as possible and setting Bea up on a date—preferably not with the biggest douchenozzle in the state of Oregon, a.k.a. Blake Kozlow—and Cody had been facing things no kid should ever have to face when it came to his parent.

  I was a freaking spoiled brat. There wasn’t any better way to put it. And now I felt like shit. But I also had to figure out what to do about it. That was why I transferred the phone numbers for both of his sisters into my phone so that I’d have them. Some things weren’t worth arguing with him about, and something told me he’d definitely try to pick a fight with me if he found out I was communicating with his sisters behind his back.

  Once all that was done, I turned off the light in the bathroom, headed back into the bedroom, and stealthily slipped Cody’s phone back into the pocket of his pants before crawling into bed with him. There wasn’t anything I could do about it in the middle of the night, so I might as well get some sleep. If such a thing were possible… I wasn’t sure it would be, since now my mind had kicked into overdrive.

  Tomorrow was a new day. And Cody could bet his ass I was going to come up with a solution to his problem, even though he wasn’t aware of just how much I’d discovered.

  I was a freaking ninja when it came to things like this. After all, I’d successfully pseudostalked him before we’d gotten together. This would be a piece of cake.

  He wouldn’t know what hit him.

  LATE THE NEXT morning, while I was sure Cody was busy with the team—either at practice or a video session or something—I sat down in the swing in the backyard at Katie’s house, and I composed a text message to Megan and Shelby. It took me longer than I’d anticipated, because I kept debating how to phrase things. This was what I eventually ended up with:

  Me: You don’t know me, but I’ve been involved with Cody for a while now. My name is Dani Weber. I’m one of the coaches’ daughters. I know something’s going on with your father’s health, and I wanted to see if there was any way I could help. Please don’t tell him I contacted you. I stole your numbers from his phone because he wouldn’t talk to me about whatever’s wrong. All I know is that something is very, very wrong, and I want to do whatever I can to make things better for him.

  Once I hit Send, I held my breath, waiting to see if—and how—they’d respond. I didn’t have to wait long. Barely twenty seconds passed before my phone dinged with a new message.

  Shelby: OMG! Megan, Cody’s dating someone and didn’t tell us!

  Megan: Why does that surprise you? He’s Mr. Take Everything On His Own Shoulders and Keep the Girls in the Dark. He’s always been this way. But at least he picked someone who’ll tell us when he won’t.

  Shelby: He’s such an ass about things like that. I’m sure you’re already learning that, Dani, but if not, it’s better for you to figure it out now. Nice to meet you. But how can you help with Dad?

  Me: Well, that’s just it. I don’t know how I can help, but I thought maybe you two could give me some ideas. Because I think we all know Cody won’t tell me a damn thing.

  Me, again, once I’d realized what I’d said: Sorry about cursing. I’m around hockey players all the time. It’s a reflex.

  Megan: OMG. I’m still in shock that he’s dating someone. Who cares if you cuss?

  Shelby: You might have noticed I called him an ass. But don’t worry about that. We’ve got a hockey player for a brother. We can handle our fair share of cussing.

  I’d never met these two women before, but I already wanted to adopt them. They were my kind of people. That shouldn’t surprise me, since they were Cody’s sisters. But that only made me more upset that he’d been keeping his family and the things they were going through from me.

  But…well…now that I thought about it, telling me things about his family would mean our relationship might be about more than just sex. And I’d only signed on for the sexy stuff, hadn’t I? A good boinking every now and then? That was all I’d thought I wanted. Now I wasn’t so sure about that. I mean, I was contacting his sisters behind his back to find out what I could do to help with his father.

  This was definitely more than what I’d thought I was getting into when I’d started pseudostalking him.

  Shit.

  But then again, I reserved the right to change my mind about what I wanted. I was only twenty, after all. Plenty young enough to still be figuring things out, making mistakes along the way.

  Not that Cody was a mistake. Far from it.

  The mistake was in thinking I knew what I wanted from him.

  Now, I wanted everything. Kind of a scary thought, but now that it had struck me, it was going to eat me alive until I got everything from him.

  Megan: Well, we appreciate you reaching out to us, but I’m not sure what you can do. I mean, you’re in Portland, too, so…

  Shelby: What we need is a facility that will take Dad fulltime.

  Megan: Right. And there aren’t any to be found around here.

  Me: What about bringing him to Portland? I mean, if I could find somewhere that had a place for him? It might cost more than in Canada, of course, but it doesn’t seem like you’re having much luck finding places there.

  Don’t ask me where that idea had come from. I’d typed it into my phone and hit Send well before taking the time to think things through. But really, they needed somewhere their father could go, and it wouldn’t kill me to do some of the groundwork. I’d finished designing all of the pieces for Bea now, and I didn’t have any other paying clients yet.

  Well, technically, I didn’t have any paying clients at all. Minor details.

  In the end, it didn’t matter where the idea had come from. I’d sent the message, and it was out there now.

  Megan: But could he come to the U.S.? I mean, for a visit, sure, but Dad’s a Canadian citizen, so I don’t know if he could legally come to stay.

  Shelby: I already checked into that, because Cody said there were some reasonable facilities in the Portland area. Dad would have to have a U.S. citizen who was a family member to sponsor him coming into the country for an extended period, so that rules Cody out.

  Me: Do you have any aunts or uncles or cousins who’re U.S. citizens?

  Megan: Nope. No relation that’s close enough to count for this. We’ve got a third cousin who has dual citizenship living in New Hampshire, but we’ve never met him.

  Me: Damn. That complicates things. And have you exhausted all the possibilities near you? What kind of place do you need for him?

  I had to ask that question, because nothing in all the messages I’d scrolled through so far had pointed me in the right direction. I just didn’t have the first clue. And since Cody hadn’t ever opened up to me about the finer details of any of this, I didn’t have much to go on.

  That was going to change, whether he liked it or not.

  Shelby: We’ve even tried contacting some homes as far away as Ontario and Quebec, but none of them have openings any sooner than a year or two away.

  Megan: We’ve put him on several waiting lists, but there’s not a lot of hope.

  Me: What kind of home does he need? Give me something to work with, and I’ll see what I can do.

  Mega
n: I don’t know how much more you can do than we’ve already done.

  Me: Oh, honey. You have no idea. I have skillz.

  In fact, I had more skills in that area than I even gave myself credit for, since Cody’s sisters proceeded to tell me all about the car wreck that had killed their mother and left their father with severe brain damage. They told me that he’d essentially raised the pair of them after the accident, with the help of an aunt. That he took on far more responsibility than he ever should have had to bear, but he never complained.

  I’d known I was drawn to Cody, but I never realized what a truly good man he was before now. The picture they painted was such a different view of him than anything he’d seen fit to show me. All I saw was the ginger-haired defenseman. The buttoned-up professor. The kinky lover.

  But he was so much more than those things, far more than the sum of all his parts. My heart melted just a bit, thinking of how much responsibility he’d taken on without a word of complaint and how much he kept locked away inside. Maybe there was more to him than just the kinky ginger who could get me off like no one else in the world.

  I had to find a way to help him. I didn’t know what or how, but I’d be damned if I didn’t put all my ingenuity and available resources to the test until I came up with something. And we all knew what happened when I set my mind to something—it happened.