“How nervous are you right now?” he asks me as I sit in the car and try to find out where the fuck all my bravery had disappeared to. We’ve been parked outside the building for at least ten minutes and I haven’t budged.
“Uh, a lot. Maybe this is a bad idea?”
“Fuck that.” My seatbelt is unbuckled for me as he reaches across my body and opens my door, giving me a quick but gentle shove out of the car. “Go do it, Dylan. That man in there loves you fiercely. It’s written all over his beautiful face. But I’m afraid you might be the one to have to say it first. Damn it, I had my money on Reese being the one to crack before you did but, oh well.” I quickly run my fingers through my hair and give him a weak smile. I’m certain he means what he says, no doubt a small wager having gone on between him and Juls. She’ll never let him hear the end of losing to this one.
“Okay, thanks, Joey.” He winks at me as I close the door and walk into the building and towards the back of the lobby where the elevators are lined up. My hands are clenched into fists and I’m shaking a bit, but I’m here and I’m fucking doing this.
Stepping off the elevators and onto the twelfth floor, I walk straight past the first reception area and towards Reese’s office. I haven’t even thought about the fact that I’ll be seeing a new face sitting behind his reception desk until I see it. And it is a lot manlier.
“Good afternoon. How may I help you?” The young man, dressed sharply in a dark suit greets me with a crooked smile. His dark brown hair is slicked to the side with some sort of product. Hmm. I liked him already.
“Hello. I was wondering if Mr. Carroll is available.”
“Oh, actually he is in Mr. Thomas’ office right now with a few more associates having lunch. Would you like me to call him?” He reaches for his phone but I shoot my hand up to halt him.
“Oh no, that’s okay. I know where Mr. Thomas’ office is.”
He gives me a warm smile and places the phone back down. “Wonderful. Well go right on and knock since his receptionist is out at lunch. Have a nice day.”
“Thanks, you too.”
Man, he is cheery. I can’t help but giggle at the fact that Reese hired a man to be his receptionist instead of a woman. I walk quickly towards Ian’s office, seeing it already a few inches open and go to knock when my favorite voice halts me.
“She’s fucking psychotic. I’ve never had a girl go that nuts on me after I tell her I’m done fucking her,” he says through a partially full mouth. The man does love to talk with his mouthful. I smile slightly and shake my head.
“Yeah well, I’m pretty sure most women you stop fucking usually flip out on you in some way or another. But that’s really fucked up that she targeted Dylan like that.” I recognize Ian’s voice and cross my arms over my chest, leaning against the wall as I listen in. “She obviously hasn’t had the pleasure of seeing Dylan’s pissed off side. Pretty dumb move on her part.”
A third voice chimes in that I’m not familiar with. “Who is this Dylan chick anyway? She hot?” Ahhh yes, so glad I arrived here at this exact moment. Nothing like a little ego boost to brighten a Monday.
I hear chip bags ruffle. “Hot doesn’t even begin to describe her. She’s fucking beautiful,” Reese answers and I bite my lip.
“He met her at Mr. Walter’s daughter’s wedding a few weekends ago. She’s Juls’ best friend and one hell of a baker. She owns Dylan’s Sweet Tooth on Fayette. That’s the store that got the brick thrown through the window,” Ian says through a mouthful.
“Shit. So, you like this girl or is she just another one of the many women that Reese Carroll destroys in his path?” The third voice asks and I brace myself. Jesus Christ, that sounds horrible. Although, I can totally see how it applies. He is a force of nature.
Silence fills the room, several long seconds of silence. I hear a few throats clear and then his voice.
“It’s not serious if that’s what you’re asking me. You know I don’t do that shit. I like fucking her so I do.” My mouth and my heart drop at the same time as I hear Ian’s voice say something in response to his description of our situation but I don’t register it. Instead, I run quickly for the elevators and slip on the first one that opens.
“Oh God. Oh God. Oh shit.” I’m gripping the wall in the empty elevator as it takes me down to the first floor, my head spinning and my heart no longer with me, having left it on the floor outside of Ian’s office. I can’t believe he said that. After everything. After last night and after his birthday. I’m still just someone he likes to fuck. That’s it? The doors open and I run through the lobby and towards the red civic that is still parked on the curb. Joey is leaning against the passenger door with his phone up to his ear. My appearance makes him end his call.
“What happened?”
“Take me to his place, now. I need to get my shit.” My face is covered in tears and he moves quickly, not asking any more questions as we both file into his car.
The drive doesn’t take long and Joey remains silent as I burst into the condo and grab my duffle, aimlessly throwing my belongings into it and triple checking that I didn’t leave anything behind. Because I’m never coming back here to get it. I grab my items out of the bathroom and break down when I spot his body wash, wanting to take a final whiff of it but managing to pull myself away from the shower before I can let that happen. I run to his bedroom and grab the notebook that I got the pen out of last night and bring it out to the dining room, opening up to a blank page and grabbing the pen.
“Dylan, what happened?”
My hands are shaking as I hover the pen above the paper, not sure what exactly I want to write for him to see. There’s so much I want to say. I want to tell him how badly he’s fucked up, how much I love him and how angry I am at him for making me fall in love with him. Because that’s exactly what he did. He pulled that love that I had buried down deep inside me right up to the surface and now I’m drowning in it. I wipe under my eyes and look up at Joey.
“He doesn’t love me. He’s just fucking me. He doesn’t do serious.” I take in a deep shaky breath. “I’m done.” My hand begins to move as he brings his over my shoulder and holds me while I write. It’s a sloppy mess but it’s legible and I leave it open on the table for him to read.
Reese,
I can’t do this anymore. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding someone who can give you what you want but it’s not me. Please let me go.
Dylan
Turning, I drop my head into Joey’s chest and cry harder than I’ve ever cried before. His arms envelope me and he whispers reassuring words into my ear as I sob, drenching his navy blue polo shirt.
“Sweetie, did he really say that?”
I nod. “Yes. He said he doesn’t do serious and he’s just fucking me because he likes to.”
“Shit, Dylan, I’ve seen him with you. He’s not going to let you go without a fight and you know it.”
I shake against him and grip him closer to me. “Joey, I can’t do this with him. Please make sure he understands that I can’t see him. I fucking can’t.”
I back away from him and see him nod weakly, most likely fearing the Reese tirade that he will certainly be up against as I grab my keys and remove the spare one he gave me, placing it on the note I just scribbled. I look up at him. “I really hate to ask this but would you and Billy mind if---”
“Fuck no. I already decided that you’re moving in with us until this shit blows over. Reese will break through that new window of yours if he knows you’re upstairs in your loft.” I give him half a smile and pick up my duffle, swinging it over my shoulder as the tears begin to fall again.
“Come on, cupcake. You’ll be okay.” And with one final look, I lock up behind us and let Joey move my body down the hallway and towards the elevators, because I have no control of it myself anymore.
**
After a quick stop at the bakery to pick up some things, Joey takes us back to Billy’s condo and quickly pours us two massive glass
es of wine. He offers me the guest room which I place my stuff down in before zoning out on the couch, staring down at my glass. I’m still crying but not as heavily, only a few tears streaming down my face in between blinks. I rubbed and cried off all my makeup and haven’t dared to look at myself in a mirror for fear as to what I might see. My heart physically aches, like it’s slowly being pulled apart by some unseen force and it’s taken its ever loving time doing it too. I just wish it would speed up the process and rip it to shreds already. After several minutes alone with my thoughts, Joey joins me on the couch with a heavy sigh.
“I’m so fucking confused right now. Dylan, I really thought, shit we all thought that Reese wanted more than just some casual bullshit.” He grabs my hand as I keep my head turned down towards my glass. “I’m so sorry, cupcake. Do you want to call Juls?”
I take a massive sip, hoping to dull some of the pain because alcohol is the poster child for broken heart syndrome. “I will, although I probably don’t have to. Once my note is discovered and he can’t find or talk to me, he’ll be calling Ian who will in turn inform Juls.” I swallow another gulp. “I feel so stupid. Everyone warned me about him, you especially. Telling me what all Billy said about how he doesn’t and will never do a relationship.” I shake with my cries and have to put my glass down, covering my face up as it all comes back again. “I hate him.” Joey wraps me up and hushes me as I convulse in intense sobs against his body. This is it. This is what being broken feels like. And a man that I wasn’t even in a relationship with did it to me. Fucking hell.
Twenty One
Two days before the wedding.
“Oh for Christ’s sake, Juls. You need to decide on a cake flavor now or you’re not getting a fucking cake.” Good Lord. I get that the girl only cares about her sweet husband to be but shit. I’m in charge of providing something decadent and she’s only given me the type of flowers she wants on it. Juls just laughs at me as she flips through my design book in my kitchen bakery.
It’s been close to three months since I ended things with Reese. After he came home and found my note, my phone didn’t stop ringing for a week straight. I ignored all of his calls and texts, and I also ignored everything Juls would try to tell him about him. I didn’t want to know how upset he was or how bad he wanted to talk to me about things. I moved back into my loft after only spending a few days at Billy and Joey’s condo. They were very sweet to me and overly hands on with my healing process, but I knew that if I was going to move the fuck on, I needed to do it in my own place. The texts and calls from Reese stopped after a month and a part of me wished that I hadn’t deleted every text without reading it or every voicemail without listening to it. I missed his voice and I hated myself for it. I missed his words even more and that made me want to punch someone. But he got the hint and I haven’t seen my phone light up with his name in exactly fifty-four days. Juls got the hint also and stopped bringing him up, but I think that was mainly because her wedding was quickly approaching and she had a lot of shit to take care of. And Ian knew better than to talk about him around me. He’s been a witness to some of my verbal attacks on men.
I’ve seen her and Ian a lot in the past two months, helping them plan the wedding that my best friend basically put into her husband to be’s hands. He’s been amazing, like really amazing at handling everything except for the God damned cake selection. That he decided to leave up to Juls and I’m about to hit her upside her pretty little head with my design book if she doesn’t pick something out already. The fact that I have her cake to make isn’t the only thing stressing me out. Tomorrow night is the rehearsal dinner and I will be stuck in the same room with the man that broke me eighty-three days ago. I’ve been reassured that we won’t be sitting anywhere near each other but that doesn’t help much. I still have to rehearse the ceremony with him which means I’ll be standing directly across from him up on that stupid altar and my arm will be looped through his when we walk down the aisle. God I hate weddings.
“Alright, here’s the deal,” Juls says after thirty minutes of me tapping my fingers on my worktop at her. “I want a three-tiered almond lemon cake with lemon filling and a cream cheese frosting. There, that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Oh she’s gone mad. She slams the book shut and pushes it towards me, her glowing bride to be smile chipping away at my remaining patience. “Now, onto more pressing matters, the bachelorette party. I want to go dancing.”
I roll my eyes and laugh as I write down her wedding cake selection. About damned time too. “Sounds good to me. As long as the booze is flowing I’m all in. I plan on staying highly intoxicated for the next two days anyways.” I begin pulling the ingredients I need off the shelves to start her cake.
“Well you better not be drunk at the wedding. You are in charge of making sure everything runs smoothly and how the hell are you going to do that if your head is stuck in a toilet?”
“Oh relax, of course I won’t be plastered at the wedding. Just tipsy enough to tolerate the situation.” I pull out my mixer and set it aside. “Where do you want to go tonight anyways? I’m going to have to meet you there since I have a shit load of baking to do.” I glare at her at the end of my sentence and she gives me her goofy grin.
“I was thinking Clancy’s since we haven’t been there in forever. Oh shit. Remember the last time you, me, and Joey went there? Didn’t he end up hooking up with three different guys in one night?”
“Of course, in true Joey fashion. That definitely won’t be happening tonight considering he’s practically engaged as it is.” My face drops at the fact that I’m the only single friend in our circle and I shake my head at myself. No sulking. You don’t need a man. Men are dickheads.
“Dylan.” She reaches over and grabs my hand that’s on my mixer, pulling me close to her and gripping both of my shoulders. I brace myself for what’s coming. “I know the next two days are going to be hard for you, but you’re the strongest woman I know and have bigger balls than any man I know.” I let out a weak laugh. “If anyone can get through this, it’s you.” She pulls me in for a hug and I let her. At least she didn’t mention he who shall not be named. “He’s just as miserable as you are.” Damn it. So close.
“Juls, don’t.”
“Well at least he was. I haven’t heard anything for a while. Apparently he’s slammed at work.”
“I don’t give a shit!” I push away from her and begin ripping open my bags of flour. “He’s miserable? Doubt it. I’m sure he’s sticking his dick into every whore in the South Side zip code as we speak.” My voice breaks at the end and I struggle to hold back my tears, but they’ve been on reserve lately and are never far away. Her arms wrap around my back and she sighs heavily.
“I’m sorry, sweets. I’m gonna head out but will see you tonight at Clancy’s right?” I nod and sniff loudly as she plants a quick kiss on my back before she exits the shop.
I take a minute to dry my tears before I start mixing up the ingredients for the almond lemon cake. God I couldn’t wait to start drinking tonight. If I don’t show up hung-over to the rehearsal tomorrow, it will surely be a wedding miracle.
**
Clancy’s is packed but I manage to spot Joey, Juls, and Brooke propped up at a round table by the bar. I shimmy my way through the crowd and receive very alcohol induced greetings from all three of them.
“Dylan. Fuck yes! I’m heading to the bar. What do you want?” Brooke asks as she stumbles off her stool. “I’m good, I’m good. Good,” she turns and says to whoever is watching her. Well, drunken Brooke didn’t take long to come out and play.
I try to stiffen my laugh. “Whatever you’re having sounds good.”
“No.” Joey and Juls say together quickly.
“Oh. Uh okay, glass of Pinot then?”
Brooke spins towards the bar as I eye up the other two. “Why don’t I want to drink what she’s having?”
“Because I’m pretty sure she’s drinking straight jet fuel,” Joey barks around his beer. “She’s
completely out of control and I’m in charge of babysitting her for some stupid reason.” He narrows his eyes at Juls. “I’m letting it slide this one time since you’re getting married in two days.”
“Love you,” she replies as she blows him a kiss. “After you get your drink, Dyl, we’re hitting the dance floor.” I nod and glance down at her phone that is lighting up on the table.
“Hey, husband to be. Oh just drinking and dancing. What are you boys doing? If you say strip club I’m finding myself another groom while I’m here.” She takes a sip of her drink and smiles around her straw as Brooke returns miraculously without spilling anything.
“Here you go, Dylan. By the way, the bartender asked for your number.” I glance around her as Joey whips his head in the same direction. The big bald bartender sends a wink my way.
“Uh, no thanks.” I take a generous sip of my wine.
“Seriously, like he’d ever stand a chance with you. He’s more your type isn’t he, Brooke?”
“Fuck you, Joey. You’ve been on my ass all night. What’s your problem? Billy holding out on you?”
“Please. I get laid way more than you do. Tell me, has your virginity grown back yet?”
“Jesus Christ, Joey,” I bark and try not to crack up laughing at poor Brooke’s expense. She isn’t the only person at this table not getting laid. He merely shrugs his shoulders and glances towards the dance floor.
“So, Dylan, isn’t tomorrow going to be insanely awkward for you?” I glare directly at her and suddenly wish I wouldn’t have just come to her defense. Brooke Wicks and alcohol do not mix well. She talks a lot of shit and then ends up passing out or throwing up all over the place. Not a good look for anybody.
Sweet Addiction Page 25
