I brush my hair off my shoulders. “No, Brooke, I’m not expecting it to be awkward at all. In fact, I can’t fucking wait to have a reunion with ex-fling. It’s not like things ended badly between us or anything.” My voice is thick with sarcasm but given her current state, she probably won’t pick it up. How much has she had to drink?
“Christ, Brooke. Don’t be so fucking rude,” Joey says as Juls turns her back away from the table and continues her phone call. She’s in blissful bride mode and I don’t blame her for avoiding this conversation.
“What? I’m just saying, I would feel awkward if I had to play nice with my ex. You should just hook up with someone else in the wedding party.”
“Jesus Christ, like that’s the answer to all the world’s problems. Just hook up with someone in the wedding party. For your information, the only two other men in the wedding party are gay or married and even if they weren’t, no. I’m not hooking up with anyone at the rehearsal dinner and definitely not at the wedding. That’s how this whole fucked up situation got started in the first place.” I glance over at Joey who is staring at me, wide-mouthed and stunned. “You remember right, Joey? ‘Go ahead Dylan. You know you want to slip off into some dark corner and do something else in that lap of his.’ This is all your fault.”
His eyebrows raise and he leans across the table towards me. “My fault? How is this my fault? I didn’t push you into his lap. I didn’t make you run off to the bathroom with him and tell him to fuck you. And I sure as hell didn’t put a gun to your head to continue being his casual fuck buddy.” His finger darts across the table and points directly at me. “That was all you, cupcake.”
Juls spins around and glares at both of us, phone still up to her ear. “Jesus Christ, you two. Keep it down before we get thrown out of here.”
I reach over and grab his finger, bending it a bit as he screeches and pulls it away from me. “All me? Are you fucking serious? You were the one that said to be his sexy little mistress when we thought he was married. And you were the one that kept trying to convince me that it was more than just casual sex. ‘Oh Dylan, the man sends you love letters and he’s so romantic.’ Remember that bullshit?” I point right back at him and he jerks back in his stool. “Don’t you dare tell me you didn’t have a part in this. I had you yapping in my ear all day about how what we were doing meant more to both of us when clearly, it only meant more to me.” I slam my hand down on the table and grab my drink, downing it quickly. My sparing partner’s face softens and he shakes his head.
“Fuck, Dylan. You’re right.” He throws his hands up in the air dramatically. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I really hate fighting with you. You scare the shit out of me.” We both burst out laughing and I feel a pair of eyes on me as I turn quickly to Brooke who looks confused.
“You two are fucking weird. And I don’t care if the other two groomsmen are gay, married, or prefemale to male transformation; I’m getting laid by someone.”
“Bitch, you better stay the hell away from Billy,” Joey says sternly. Juls quickly spins around and all arguments come to a halt at the sight of her beaming face. We all regain our composure and she’s none the wiser.
“Okay, baby, I love you too. Have fun.” She hangs up her phone and hops off her stool. “Alright, bitches, I believe it’s time for me to show your sorry asses up on the dance floor.” She does a quick spin and her black dress fans out around her knees.
“Ha!” I yell playfully as I get down and run over to her, putting her hand in mine. A clumsy Brooke follows while Joey quickly downs his beer.
“Let’s do this!” he yells.
We danced all night into the early morning hours, finally leaving Clancy’s at 2:00a.m. and all piling into the same cab. None of us drove which was a good thing because we are all rightly smashed and in zero condition to do anything but go to bed. We’re giggling like idiots in the back seat of the cab, throwing out our addresses and confusing the hell out of the driver.
“Christ, already. Who am I taking home first? I can’t understand four directions at once,” the driver yells back as we all fall into a fit of tearful chuckles.
“Brooke, oh my fucking God. That guy you were dancing with looked like Mr. T.” I laugh and she searches her brain for the image. “He even had all the gold chains.”
“But he could move. Whew.”
“Yeah he could. I’m pretty sure he had better moves than me which says a whole fucking lot,” Joey adds as Juls wipes the tears under her eyes.
The driver spins around to face us. “Ladies. Oh, and gentleman, sorry. Where the hell am I going?”
“I’m closest. Dylan’s Sweet Tooth on Fayette please.” I fall back against Joey. “Oh man, this was so fun. Juls, seriously, thanks for this.”
She winks at me as we pull away from the club. “So fun. I love you three. AND I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!” We all laugh and cheer as we drive off down the road, the petty arguments of the night left behind along with Brooke’s vomit that came shortly after we started out onto the dance floor. I called it though. The girl should really not be around hard liquor.
I’m dropped off a mere fifteen minutes later and say my quick goodbyes before I stumble inside and lock up behind me. After peeling out of my dress and removing my makeup, I open my dresser drawer and spot the University of Chicago T-shirt that I had stuffed into my duffle bag when I was packing up my stuff the day I ended things with Reese. I should have sent it back to him through Ian when I realized that I took it, but a part of me, a part of me that nobody knows about, likes wearing it to bed some nights when I want to smell him. I don’t wear it often for fear that my scent will overpower his. But I do decide on wearing it tonight. I slip it on and climb into bed, grabbing my phone and opening up my internet search.
While on the dance floor tonight, the Arctic Monkeys song pumped through the speakers and I let myself dance to it, not wanting to give away how badly it killed me to hear it. And as I moved my body to it, I remembered that I never looked up the lyrics and it’s been on my mind the entire evening. So now in the privacy of my dark bedroom, I’m finally looking up the lyrics to the song that reminded him of me.
“OhGod.” I read the lyrics again, and again, letting them sink into me and cursing myself for even looking them up in the first place and for the stupid club for playing this stupid song. “Fuck.” I shut down my phone and roll over, burying my head into the pillow to soften the cries that are coming from me now. Jesus, that song? Really? It’s a song about wanting to be with someone so badly, thinking about them all the time, wanting more with them. Dreaming about them. That song? How could that song remind me of him? I bury my face into his T-shirt and cry harder, trying to push the lyrics out of my head to give myself some relief. I inhale his scent, the scent that is slowly fading and I finally calm myself down enough to fall asleep. And sleep I am definitely going to need if I’m going to survive the next forty-eight hours.
Twenty Two
I wake up a little after 11:00a.m. on Friday and prepare myself for the day ahead. I decide to go on a run by myself today, only wanting my own thoughts to occupy my head and not Joey’s relentless rantings. After my five miles, I lock up shop and head upstairs to shower and get dressed to finish Juls and Ian’s wedding cake. The shop is closed and will be until Monday since we’ve had her wedding to prepare for and I’m grateful for the quiet. I slip on my apron and whip up the cream cheese icing that she requested, admiring the sugared dahlias that I already created to cascade down the cake. I curse myself for thinking of Reese at the sight of them and whip faster. Damn it. What guy pays attention to details like that? I’d put money on Ian not giving two shits about the flowers that took me hours to create.
After icing the cake and cleaning up my mess, I glance at the time on the oven. Its 3:30p.m. and I need to be at the church in an hour and definitely need another shower. I untie my apron and throw it on the worktop before I dart up the stairs. I’ve picked a black sleeveless dress and pumps to wear t
onight, pinning half of my hair up and leaving the rest in loose waves down my back. My makeup looks elegant but not too done up and I smile weakly into the mirror as I gaze at my reflection. My dress is hanging off my body more than it used to and I know that’s because I haven’t been eating much. Besides my daily taste tests, I’m having to choke down my meals that Joey has been bringing me, or at least parts of my meals. But at least I am eating. After one last look, I grab my clutch and head towards the night I’ve been dreading.
St. Stephen’s church was Ian’s pick, as was the reception and mostly every other detail for that matter. I park along the side of the beautiful building and straighten my dress out as I make my way to the front steps. Stopping at the bottom and glancing up at the double doors, my nerves hit me in one hard rush and I want to turn right around and get back into the comfort of Sam, but I can’t. I close my eyes and grip the hand rail. “Come on, Dylan.” I pick up my feet and move up the stairs, clearing my throat before I open one of the doors.
The church is beautiful, with dark wood furnishings and stained glass windows allowing the sunlight to shine through in all different colors. Even if you aren’t religious, try stepping into a catholic church and not feeling the presence of something way the hell bigger than you. I glance up at the massive cathedral ceiling and admire the painted murals when I hear Juls screeching my name.
“There you are. Now if Brooke would just hurry the hell up we can get started.” She’s at my side instantly and looks beautiful. Dressed in a deep plum dress and her hair pulled up sleekly, she’s practically glowing. She leans in and hugs me as my eyes glance up towards the bodies at the front of the church. But of course, I didn’t need to look to know that he is here already. I felt him the moment I stepped inside this stupid building. My eyes find his instantly as he stands with Ian and the other men. His lips part slightly and I watch his chest rise with a deep intake of breath. Before I can rake my eyes down his body, I pull back from Juls and break the contact.
“You look beautiful and ready to be married.”
“Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself. Come on, my parents have been asking when you’d get here.” She grabs my hand and pulls me up front as I keep my eyes fixed on anyone but his. Luckily, we stop a few pews short of the men where all the parents are congregating.
“Dylan, there you are. Wow you look stunning, dear. How’s the bakery business going?” Mrs. Wicks wraps me up in a hug. She was always like a second mother to me.
“It’s great and thank you. You look amazing yourself. And how are you doing, Mr. Wicks? Ready to give your oldest daughter away?”
He pulls me into his arms and I’m immediately hit with the smell of cigars. “Fat chance. She’ll never get rid of her old man. It’s good to see you, Dylan.”
“You too.” At that moment, the front doors swing open and Brooke comes barreling through, looking like she just woke up and most likely feeling a lot worse. I hear Juls gasp behind me. “Excuse me,” I say politely before I begin quickly making my way down the aisle towards a very stupid looking bridesmaid.
“Dylan. Remember that guy last night?” I grab her wrist and pull her behind a pillar as she tries to get out of my grasp. “Jeez. What’s the big deal?”
“What the fuck? Are you still drunk?” I ask as Joey comes rushing up to us with Juls on his heels. I notice quickly that all talking has stopped at the front of the church and can feel a million pairs of eyes on us.
“No I’m not drunk. I’m just hung-over. Ooohhh which one is Reese?” I grip her harder and she yelps.
“Oh for Christ’s sake. Way to keep it classy, Brooke,” Joey whispers harshly as the preacher walks over towards us. We all straighten up a few inches.
“Are we ready to begin, Miss. Wicks?” He asks and she smiles quickly and nods, glancing back at me with her panicky eyes.
“We’re ready,” I confirm, keeping my hand on Brooke’s arm as we all follow the preacher towards the front. I glare over at her and she cowers beside me as we walk up to the front. “Pull your shit together. And if you act like this tomorrow, I will personally make sure you don’t get laid. I will vagina block the shit out of you.” Her mouth drops open and I hear Joey laugh behind us.
“What? You better stay the hell away from my vagina,” she grunts and my grip tightens.
“Ha! I bet you’ve never uttered those words before, Brooke.” Joey laughs.
We stop as the preacher turns and faces everyone and I quickly glance up and over to my right, finding Reese’s eyes on me and quickly dropping my stare back down. I let go of Brooke and she sighs in relief, massaging her reddened arm.
“Okay everyone, we’re going to do a quick run through of the ceremony, just to make sure everyone knows their places. So, if I can have the groomsmen, best man, and the groom all standing to my left right here,” he motions down at the stairs below him. “And ladies, and gentleman, if you would line up at the front doors and we’ll get started.” Oh good. I’ll only have to walk with Reese at the end of the ceremony down the aisle. That’s not too bad. What is it? Twenty-five, thirty feet of contact? I can handle that. We quickly form a line at the back of the room as I stand in front of Juls, Joey in front of me, and Brooke hopefully leading the way. God help her if she can’t make it up to the altar.
“You ready for this?” Joey leans back and whispers.
“Yup. You?”
“Oh please, have you seen my baby up there? Gorgeous.” I giggle at his response and hear the preacher announce for Brooke to start walking, which she does after Joey gives her a right shove. “Asshole. She’s going to be such a pain tomorrow,” he says before he begins walking and I can’t help but smile. My assistant as a bridesmaid. Of course.
“I love you,” Juls says behind me and I feel my eyes water a bit.
“Love you,” I say as I begin making my walk up the aisle. I don’t want to, I really don’t want to but my eyes find his immediately and I finally get my first real look at him in eighty-four days. He’s wearing a black suit, perfectly tailored to that body with a green striped tie and white dress shirt. His hair looks like it’s been cut a bit but still has its perfectly tousled look to it and his eyes are piercing into mine, the green beaming out of them thanks to his tie color choice. I see them quickly drop and run down my dress before he flicks back up to meet mine, jaw set and tense. I take my spot on the same step as him and finally look away towards Juls who is with her father at the back of the church. She begins her walk up and I keep my eyes on her even though I can feel him looking at me. Studying me.
The preacher runs through the ceremony, going over the vows that Ian and Juls’ picked out for tomorrow. I smile and laugh as they recite them and keep turning around to make sure Brooke is still upright and awake. Joey gives me a reassuring wink with each turn and I know he’s got her covered. Thank God. After the mock exchanging of the rings and pronouncement of their marriage, the two of them begin filing down the aisle and I quickly clamp my eyes shut, knowing what’s coming next. Shit. He’s going to touch me. He’s going to touch me and I’m going to lose it.
“Ok, now Dylan and Reese, you may walk down together. Billy and Joey, you can follow when they are about halfway down the rows.” I open my eyes and step forward after the preacher finishes and see Reese already waiting for me, elbow out so that I can easily slip my hand through it. I swallow loudly and grip the inside of his elbow as we begin walking silently down the aisle. I can hear his breathing, slow and steady as if he’s unaffected by this entirely. Figures. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting here. The sight of me causing him to faint possibly? But no, not even uneven nervous breathing.
“You look beautiful,” he says, low and throaty and I gasp slightly but don’t respond. We reach the end of the aisle and I quickly drop my hand from his arm and move to stand next to Juls and as far away from him as possible. Shit. Don’t be affected by that, Dylan. After the rest of the wedding party comes down the aisle, we all say our momentary goodbyes as we file ou
t towards our vehicles. I quickly walk to Sam and scramble in, wanting to avoid any alone time with Reese as I see him walking out with Ian and the other men. His eyes fall on my delivery van fleetingly before he hops in his Range Rover and pulls away from the church. I drop my head on the wheel. “Okay. Half of the night is over. Now, you just need to get through the dinner and you’ll only have to worry about tomorrow.” After my little pep talk, I start up Sam and make my way towards Casa Mia’s.
The rehearsal dinner is booked at a quaint Italian restaurant and a long rectangular table has been set aside for us in the very back. My place is next to Juls and three seats down from Reese who is sitting next to Ian. I’m immensely grateful that he isn’t seated on the opposite side because I’ve done enough looking for one evening. Joey plops down next to me and let’s out an exhaustive sigh.
“Problems with our favorite bridesmaid?” I ask, noticing that she hasn’t graced us with her presence at the table yet. I pick up my water and take a few sips.
“I’m going to kill her. She insisted on riding with me and then tried to feel me up in the car.” Water shoots out of my mouth and covers the thankfully empty place setting across from me as I quickly bring a napkin up to my face.
“Jesus, Dylan. Are you all right?” Juls asks as I continue coughing. I glance over at her and see that everyone is staring at me, and I mean everyone as I quickly shake off my choke fest.
I turn quickly towards Joey. “Are you serious?”
“Do I look serious? I feel like I’ve been molested. She almost made me cause an accident on highway eleven.”
My coughing turns into giggling as I lean my head onto his shoulder and we both crack up at the situation. “Oh my God. That’s amazing. I so needed to hear that right now.” I laugh out as he shakes his head at me, picking up his water.
“What’s going on?” Juls asks softly as our dinner is brought out to us. I’m suddenly starving and the dish that’s in front of me is about to be destroyed.
Sweet Addiction Page 26
