by Anne Rice
Chapter 25
25
WHEN I AWOKE the pain was excruciating. I lay for an hour or more without moving. I listened to the voices of Venice. I listened to the movement of the waters beneath my house and all around it, and through the canals and into the sea.
I listened for Santino's miscreants, in quiet dignified terror that they might yet be abroad in search of me. But they were gone completely, at least for now.
I tried to lift the marble lid of the sarcophagus and I couldn't do it. Once again, with the Mind Gift I pushed against it, and then, with the aid of my feeble hands I was able to push it aside.
Most strange and wondrous, I thought, that the power of the mind was greater than the power of the hands.
Slowly, I managed to rise from this cold and handsome grave which I had fashioned for myself, and I did at last, after great effort, sit on the cold marble floor, seeing the glint of the golden walls through a bit of light that seeped into the chamber around the edges of the upper door.
I felt a terrible agony and weariness. A sense of shame overcame me. I had imagined myself invulnerable, and oh, how I had been humbled, how I had been dashed against the stones of my own pride.
The taunts of the Satan worshipers came back to me. I remembered Amadeo's cries.
Where was he now, my beauteous pupil? I listened but I heard nothing.
I called to Raymond Gallant once more, though I knew it was in vain. I pictured him traveling overland to England. I called his name aloud so that it resounded off the walls of the golden chamber, but I could not find him. I knew that I would not find him. I did it only to be certain that he was far beyond my reach.
And then I thought of my precious and fair Bianca. I sought to see her as I had last night, through the minds of those around her. I sent the Mind Gift wandering to her fashionable rooms.
Into my ears there came the sound of playful music; and at once I saw her many regular guests. They drank and talked as though my house had not been destroyed, or rather as if they knew nothing of it, and I had never been one of them; on they went as the living do, after a mortal is taken away.
But where was Bianca?
"Show me her face," I whispered, directing the mysterious Mind Gift by the sheer simplicity of my voice.
No picture came to me.
I shut my own eyes, which gave me exquisite pain, and I listened, hearing the hum of the entire city, and then begging, begging of the Mind Gift that it give me her voice, her thoughts.
Nothing, and then at last I hit upon it. Wherever she was, she was alone. She was waiting for me, and there were none around her to look upon her, or talk to her, and so I must find her in her silence or solitude, and at last I sent out my call to her.
Bianca, I am living. I am monstrously burnt as I've told you. As you once nursed Amadeo, can you extend your great kindness to me?
Scarcely a moment passed before I heard her distinct whisper.
"Marius, I can hear you. Only direct me. Nothing will frighten me. I will bind up your burnt skin. I will bind up your wounds. "
Oh, this was wondrous comfort, but what was I planning here? What did I mean to do?
Yes, she would come, and would bring to me fresh garments with which I could conceal my miserable flesh, and perhaps even a hooded cloak that my head should be concealed, and even a Carnival mask for my face.
Yes, all that was most true, she would do it, but what then when I found I could not hunt in this miserable state? And what if, hunting somehow, I discovered that the blood of one or two mortals meant nothing to me, that my injuries had been too great?
How then should I depend upon this tender darling to assist me? How deep into the horrors of my debility should I allow her to come?
Again I heard her voice.
"Marius," she pleaded with me. "Tell me where you are. I'm in your house, Marius. It is much destroyed but not entirely. I wait for you in your old bedchamber. There is clothing here that I have gathered for you. Can you come?"
For a long while I did not answer her, not even to comfort her. I thought upon it in so far as one can think when one is feeling such pain. My mind was not my mind. Of that, I was certain.
And it did seem to me that in this great distress I could betray Bianca. I could betray her utterly were she to allow. Or I might only take from her some mercy, and leave her finally with a mystery which she would never understand.
The betrayal would be the more simple thing, obviously. The alternative, to take her mercy and leave her with a mystery, that would demand immense self-control.
I did not know whether or not I had such self-control. I did not know anything about myself in my misery. I remembered my long ago vow to her, that she would always be safe as long as I was in Venice, and I shuddered in agony envisioning the strong creature I had been on that night. Yes, I had vowed forever to protect her for the care she had given Amadeo, that she had saved him from death until I could come at sunset and take him out of her arms.
What did it all mean now? Was I to break that vow as though it were nothing?
And on and on there came her calls like prayers. She called to me as I had called to Akasha.
"Marius, where are you? Surely you can hear me. Marius, I have soft clothing for you that will not harm you. I have linen for your bandages.
I have soft boots for your feet. " She wept as she spoke. "Marius, I have a soft tunic of velvet for you. I have one of your many red cloaks. Let me bring these things and come to you, and I shall bandage you and assist you. You are no horror to me. "
I lay there listening to her weeping, and then finally, I made up my mind.
You must come to me, precious one. I cannot move from where I am. Bring the clothing which you described, but bring also a mask, and you will find plenty of these in my closets. Bring one that is made of dark leather and decorated with gold.
"Marius, I have these things," she answered. "Tell me where I must come. "
I then sent her another strong message, quite infallibly identifying the house in which I lay, and told her how she must come inside, find the door made of plated bronze, and then knock.
I was exhausted from the exchange. And once again, I listened in quiet panic for the sound of Santino's monsters, wondering if and when they would return.
Yet in the eyes of Bianca's boatman I soon caught an image of her coming out of the burnt ruin of my house. The gondola was on its way to me.
At last, there came the inevitable knock on the bronze door.
With all my strength I began my slow progress up the stone stairs.
I placed my hands upon the door.
"Bianca," I said. "Can you hear me?"
"Marius!" she cried out. She began to sob. "Marius, I knew it was you It was no trick of my mind. You're truly alive, Marius. You're here. "
I was aroused by the scent of her blood.
"Listen to me, precious darling," I said. "I was burnt as you cannot imagine. When I open this door a very small space, you must give over to me the clothing and the mask. Do not seek to look at me no matter how curious you may be. "
"No, Marius," she answered, her tone resolute. "I love you, Marius. I'll do what you say. "
How plaintive were her sobs as they suddenly broke through. And how strong the smell of blood inside her. How hungry I was.
With all my strength, my blackened fingers managed to loosen the latch, and then I opened the door a small space.
The scent of her blood was as painful as all else that I suffered. I thought for a moment I cannot go on.
But the badly needed clothes were thrust at me, and I knew I must take them. I must somehow move to my restoration. I could not sink back in agony for that would breed but more agony. I must go on. Here was the mask of black leather, decorated in gold. Garments for a ball in Venice, not for one so miserable and ghastly as I.
Leaving the door with its small opening, I managed to dress myself fairly well.
&n
bsp; She had brought a long tunic rather than a short one, and this was wise, for the stockings I might never have managed to put on. As for the boots, I was able to slip my feet inside them, much as this pained me, and the mask I tied to my face.
The cloak was of generous proportions and with a hood, which I cherished. I was soon covered from head to toe.
But what must I do now? What should I tell this angel of a young woman who stood in the chilled and dark corridor outside?
"Who has come with you?" I asked her.
"Only the boatman," she said. "Did you not say come alone?"
"Perhaps I said it," I answered. "My mind is clouded by pain. "
I heard her crying.
I struggled to think. I realized a harsh and terrible truth.
I could not hunt on my own because I wasn't strong enough to venture forth from this place with any of my old gifts of speed or ascent and descent.
I could not rely upon her strength to help me in the hunt because she was entirely too weak for it, and to use her boatman was foolish if not downright impossible. The man would witness what I did, and he knew that I resided in this house!
Oh, how mad it all was. How weak I was. How very possible it was that Santino's monsters might return. How important it was for me to leave Venice and seek the shrine of Those Who Must Be Kept. But how could this be done?
"Marius, please let me in," she said softly. "I'm not afraid to see you. Please, Marius. Let me come in. "
"Very well," I said. "Trust in me that I won't harm you. Come down the stairs. Make your way carefully. Trust in me that whatever I tell you is the truth. "
With agonizing effort, I pushed the door open sufficiently so that she might come inside. A faint light filled the stairway and the chamber below. It was enough for my eyes. But not for hers.
With her delicate pale hand she groped her way after me, and she could not see how I crawled with my hands resting heavily again and again against the wall.
At last we had come to the bottom of the steps, and there she struggled to see, but she could not.
"Marius, speak to me," she said.
"I'm here, Bianca," I said.
I knelt down, then seated myself on my heels, and gazing up at the torches that hung on the walk, I tried to light one of them with the Fire Gift.
I directed the power with all my strength.
I heard a faint crackling and then the torch kindled and the light exploded, hurting my eyes. The fire made me shiver, but we could not endure without it. The darkness had been worse.
She raised her tender hands to shelter her eyes from the brightness. Then she looked at me.
What did she see?
She covered her mouth and gave a muffled scream.
"What have they done to you?" she asked. "Oh, my beautiful Marius.
Tell me how to remedy this and I will. "
I saw myself in her gaze, a hooded being of burnt black sticks for neck and wrists with gloves for hands and a floating leather mask for a face.
"And how do you think that can be done, my beautiful Bianca?" I asked. "What magic potion can bring me back from what I am now?"
Her mind was in confusion. I caught a tangle of images and memories, of misery and hope.
She looked about herself at the glittering golden walls. She stared at the shining marble sarcophagi. Then her eyes returned to me. She was aghast but unafraid.
"Marius," she said, "I can be your acolyte as surely as Amadeo was. Only tell me how. "
At the mention of Amadeo's name my eyes filled with tears. Oh, to think this burnt body had within it the blood of tears.
She dropped to her knees so that she might look directly into my eyes. Her cloak fell open and I saw the rich pearls around her throat and her pale breasts. She had worn one very fine gown for this enterprise, not caring how its hem would catch the dirt or the damp.
"Oh, my lovely jewel," I said to her, "how I have loved you both in innocence and guilt. You don't know how much I have lusted after you, both as monster and man. You don't know how I've turned my hunger from you when it was something I could scarce control. "
"Oh, but I do know," she said. "Do you not remember the night you came to me, accusing me for the crimes I'd committed? Do you not remember how you confessed your thirst for my blood? Surely I have not become since then the pure and simple damsel of a children's tale. "
"Perhaps you have, my pretty one," I said. "Perhaps you have. Oh, it's gone, isn't it? My whole world. It's gone. I think of the feasts, the masquerades, the dancing, it's gone, all my paintings burnt. "
She began to cry.
"No, don't cry. Let me cry for it. It was all my doing. Because I didn't slay one who despised me. And they have taken Amadeoprisoner. Me, they burnt because I was too strong for their designs, but Amadeo they took!"
"Stop it, Marius, you rave," she said fearfully. She put out her hand and touched my gloved fingers.
"Oh, but I must rave just for a moment. They took him and I could hear him begging them for explanations, and all the boys, they took the boys too. Why did they do this?"
I stared at her through the mask, unable to imagine what she saw or read from this strange artificial countenance in her heated mind. The scent of her blood was almost overpowering and her sweetness seemed part of another world.
"Why did they let you live, Bianca, for surely I had not come in time?"
"Your pupils, those were the ones they wanted," she answered, "they captured them in nets. I saw the nets. I screamed and screamed and screamed out of the front doorway. They did not care about me except to draw you on, and what could I do when I saw you but cry out for your help against them? Did I do wrong? Is it wrong that I'm alive?"
"No, don't think such. No. " I reached out as carefully as I could and squeezed her hand with my gloved fingers. "You must tell me if this grip is too strong. "
"Never too strong, Marius," she said. "Oh, trust in me as you ask that I trust in you. "
I shook my head. The pain was so terrible I couldn't speak for a moment. My mind and body both were pain. I could not endure what had befallen me. I could not endure the hopeless climb which stood before me and my future self.
"We remain here together, you and I," she said, "when surely there is much to be done to heal you. Let me serve your magic. I have already told you that I will. "
"But what do you truly know of it, Bianca? Have you truly understood? "
"Is it not blood, my lord?" she asked. "Do you think I cannot remember when you took Amadeo, dying, into your own arms? Nothing could have saved him such as that transformation which I saw forever after in him. You know that I saw it. I knew. You know that I did. "
I closed my eyes. I took my breaths slowly. The pain was terrible. Her words were lulling me and making me believe that I was not miserable, but where would this path lead?
I tried to read her mind but in my exhaustion I could not.
I wanted so to touch her face, and then believing in the softness of the glove, I did it, stroking her cheek. The tears welled in her eyes.
"Where is Amadeo gone?" she said desperately.
"South by sea," I confessed, "and to Rome, that is my belief on it, but don't question me now as to why. Let me say only that it was an enemy of mine who made this siege upon my house and those I love, and in Rome is where he dwells, and those he sent to harm me and Amadeo come from Rome.
"I should have destroyed him. I should have foreseen this. But in vanity I displayed my powers to him, and brushed him aside. And so he sent his followers in great numbers so that I couldn't overcome them. Oh, how foolish I was not to divine what he would do. But what is the use of saying it now? I'm weak, Bianca. I have no means to reclaim Amadeo. I must somehow regain my own strength. "
"Yes, Marius," she said. "I understand you. "
"I pray with all my heart that Amadeo uses the powers I gave him," I confessed, "for they were great and he's very strong. "
"Yes
, Marius," she said. "I understand what you say. "
"It's to Marius that I look now," I said again guiltily and sadly. "It's to Marius that I look, for I must. "
A silence fell between us. There was no sound except the crackling of the torch in its sconce high on the wall.
Again I tried to read her mind, but I could not. It was not only my weakness. It was a resolute quality in her just now. For though she loved me, there were thoughts conflicting in her, and a wall had been thrown up to keep me from knowing what they were.
"Bianca," I said in a low voice, "you saw the transformation in Amadeo, but did you really understand?"
"I did, my lord," she said.
"You can guess the source of his strength forever after that night?"
"I know it, my lord," she answered.
"I don't believe you," I said gently. "You dream when you say you know. "
"Oh, but I do know, Marius, As I have only just reminded you, I recall only too well how you came into my very bedchamber thirsting for my blood. "
She reached out to touch the sides of my face in consolation. I put up my gloved hand to stop her.
"I knew then," she said, "that you fed upon the dead somehow. That you took their souls, or perhaps only their blood. I knew then it was one or the other, and the musicians who fled that banquet at which you'd slain my kinsmen¡ªthey spoke of your giving my unfortunate cousins a kiss of death. "
I gave a low soft laugh.
"How very careless I was, and believed myself to be so masterly. What a strange thing. And no wonder is it that I have fallen so far. "
I took again a deep breath, feeling the pain all through me, and the thirst unbearably. Had I ever been that powerful creature who so dazzled many that he could slaughter a gathering of mortals and no one would dare accuse save in whispers? Had I ever. . . ? But there was too much to remember, and for how long would I remember before even the smallest part of my power was restored?
But she was staring at me with brilliant inquisitive eyes.
Then came from my lips the truth which I could no longer hide.
"It was the blood of the living, beautiful girl, always the blood of the living," I said desperately. "It is the blood of the living and only the blood of the living and must be the blood of the living, do you understand? It's how I exist and always have existed since I was taken out of mortal life by malicious and disciplined hands. "
She made a small frown as she stared at me, but she did not look away. Then she nodded as if to tell me that I might go on.
"Come close to me, Bianca," I whispered. "Believe me when I tell you that I existed when Venice was nothing. When Florence had not risen, I was alive. And I cannot linger long here suffering. I must find blood to restore me. I must have it. I must have it as soon as I can. "
Again she nodded. She stared at me as firmly as before. She was shivering, and she brought up out of her clothes a linen handkerchief and wiped at her tears.
What could these words mean to her? They must have sounded like old poetry. HOW could I expect her to grasp what I had said?
Her eyes never wavered.
"The Evil Doer," she confessed suddenly. "My lord, Amadeo told me," she whispered. "I cannot play the game any longer that I don't know. You feed upon the Evil Doer. Don't be angry. Amadeo confided his secret a long time ago. "
I was angry. Instantly and completely, I was angry, but what did it matter? Hadn't this dreadful catastrophe swept everything in its path?
So Amadeo had confided the secret to our beauteous Bianca after all his tears and promises to me! So I had been the fool for confiding in a mere child. So I had been the fool to let Santino live! What did it matter now?
She had grown still and was staring at me yet, her eyes full of the fire of the torch, her lower lip trembling, and a sigh coming out of her as though she was about to cry again.
"I can bring the Evil Doer here to this chamber," she said, her face quickening. "I can bring the Evil Doer down these very steps. "
"And suppose such a being should overpower you before you have reached this place," I said in a low voice, "how then should I establish any justice or revenge? No, you cannot take such a risk. "
"But I will do it. Rely upon me. " Her eyes grew brighter and it seemed she looked about, as though absorbing the beauty of the walls. "How long have I kept your secret? I don't know, only that nothing could pry it from me. And no matter what others suspected never did I betray you with one word. "
"My precious, my darling," I whispered. "You will not take such risks for me. Let me think now, let me use whatever powers of mind still remain to me. Let us sit here in quiet. "
She seemed perturbed and then her face hardened.
"Give me the Blood, my lord," she said suddenly, her voice low and quick. "Give it to me. Make me what you made Amadeo. Make me a blood drinker, and then I will have the strength to bring the Evil Doer to you. You know it is the way. "
I was completely caught off guard.
I cannot say that in my burnt soul I had not thought of this very action¡ªI had thought of it immediately when I had heard her weeping¡ªbut to hear it come from her own lips, and with such spirit, that was more than I had ever expected, and I knew as I had known from the beginning that it was the perfect plan.
But I must think on this! Not only for her sake, but for my own. Once the magic had worked in her¡ªassuming that I had the strength to give it¡ªhow then would we, two weak blood drinkers, hunt the city of Venice for the blood we needed and then make the long journey North?
As a mortal she might have brought me to the Alpine pass of Those Who Must Be Kept by means of a wagon and armed guards, whom I might have left in the small hours to visit the chapel alone.
As a blood drinker, she would have to sleep by day with me, and therefore we would both be at the mercy of those who transported the sarcophagi.
In my pain, I could not imagine it.
I could not take all the steps necessary. Indeed, it seemed suddenly that I could think of nothing, and shaking my head, I tried to prevent her from embracing me, from frightening herself all the more by embracing me and feeling the stiff dried creature that I had become.
"Give me the Blood," she said again with urgency. "You have the strength to do it, don't you, my lord? And, then I shall bring here all the victims you require! I saw the change in Amadeo afterwards. He didn't have to show me. I will be that strong, will I not? Answer me, Marius. Or tell me, tell me how else I may cure you, or heal you, or bring you comfort in this suffering that I see. "
I could say nothing. I was trembling with desire for her, with anger at her youth ¡ª at the conspiracy of her and Amadeo against me that he had told her ¡ª and consumed with desire for her here and now.
Never had she seemed more alive, more purely human, more utterly natural in her rosy beauty ¡ª a thing not to be despoiled.
She settled back as if she knew that she had pushed me a little too hard. Her voice came softer, yet still insistent.
"Tell me again the story of your years," she said, her eyes blazing. "Tell me again of how it was that Venice did not exist or Florence either when you were already Marius, tell me this story once more. "
I went for her.
She couldn't have escaped.
In fact I think that she tried to escape. Surely she screamed.
No one outside heard her. I had her too quickly for that, and we were too deep in the golden room.
Pushing the mask aside and covering her eyes with my left hand, I sank my teeth into her throat, and her blood came into me in a rush. Her heart pounded faster and faster. And just before it made to stop I drew back from her, shaking her violently and crying out against her ear
"Bianca, wake!"
At once I slashed my tight dried wrist until I saw the seam of blood and this I forced across her open mouth against her tongue.
I heard her hiss and then she clamped her mouth, only to moan hungrily. I drew
back the burnt unyielding flesh and cut it open once again for her.
Oh, it was not enough for her¡ªI was too burnt, too weak¡ªand all the while her blood went on a rampage through me, forcing its way into the collapsed and burnt cells that had once been alive.
Again and again I cut my twisted bony wrist and forced it against her mouth, but it was useless.
She was dying! And all the blood she'd given me had been devoured.
Oh, this was monstrous. I couldn't endure it¡ªno, not to see the life of my Bianca snuffed out like one small candle. I should go screaming mad.
At once I stumbled up the stone steps, not caring what my pain or weakness, forging my mind and heart together, and rising up, I opened the bronze door.
Once at the head of the steps above the quais I called to her boatman:
"Hurry," and then went back inside that he should follow me, which he did.
Not one second after he entered the house did I fall upon the poor unfortunate innocent and drink all the blood from him, and then, scarce able to breathe for the comfort and soothing pleasure it gave me, I made my way back to the golden room, to find her where I had left her, dying still, at the foot of the stairs.
"Here now, Bianca, drink, for I have more blood to give," I said against her ear, my cut wrist on her tongue once more. This time the blood flowed from it, scarce a deluge but what she must have and her mouth closed over the fount and she began to pull against my heart.
"Yes, drink, my Bianca, my sweet Bianca," I said, and she in her sighs answered me.
The Blood had imprisoned her tender heart.
The night's dark journey had only begun. I could not send her in search of victims! The magic in her was scarce complete.
Bent over like a hunchback in my weakness, I carried her put and into the gondola, each step achingly painful, my movements slow and unsure.
And, once I had her seated against the cushions, half awake and answering me, her face never more beautiful, never more pale, I took up the solitary oar.
Into the darker regions of Venice I traveled, the mist hanging thick over the canals, to those dimly lighted places where ruffians abound.
"Wake, princess," I said to her, "we are on the silent battlefield, and very soon will see our enemy, and the little war we love so much will begin. "
In my pain I could scarcely stand upright, but as always happens in such situations, those we sought came out to do harm to us.
Sensing in my posture and her beauty the very shape of weakness, they forfeited their strength at once.
Into her arms, I easily enticed a proud and youthful victim, "who would pleasure the lady if that's what we wished" and from this one she easily consumed a fatal draught, his dagger falling into the bottom of the boat.
The next victim, a swaggering drunkard who hailed us down with promises of a nearby banquet to which we'd all be admitted, stepped fatally into my grasp.
I had barely the strength for it, and once again the blood ran riot within me, healing me with such violent magic that it bordered upon an increasing pain.
The third who came into our arms was a vagabond, whom I enticed with a coin I did not possess. Bianca took him, her words slurred, disappointed that he had been so frail.
And all of this, beneath the veil of the ink-black night, and far away from the lights of the houses such as our own.
On and on we went. The Mind Gift in me grew stronger with each kill. My pain was eased with each kill. My flesh was more fully restored with each kill.
But it would take a wilderness of kills to restore me, an inconceivable wilderness of victims to bring back to me the vigor which I had possessed before.
I knew that beneath my clothes, I appeared as one made of ropes dipped in pitch, and I could not imagine the dreadful terror that my face had become.
Meantime, Bianca waked from her daze and suffered the pains of her mortal death, and now longed to return to her rooms for fresh clothing so that she might return with me to the golden lined room, in garments fit for her to be my bride.
She had had all too much of the blood of the victims and needed more of mine, but she did not know this, and I did not tell her as much.
Only reluctantly did I concede to her request, taking her back to her palazzo, and waiting uneasily in the gondola until she came, marvelously dressed, to join me, her skin like her purest white pearls.
Forsaking forever her many rooms, she brought with her many bundles, indeed all the clothes she wished to take with her, and all her jewels, and many candles, that we might be together in our hiding place without the roar of the torch.
At last we were in the golden chamber by ourselves, and she was brimming with happiness as she gazed at me, her secretive and silent masked bridegroom.
And only a single candle gave its slender light for us both.
She had spread out a cloak of green velvet that we might sit on it, and so we did.
My legs were crossed, and she leant back on her ankles. My pain was quiet in me yet terrible. Quiet in that it did not lurch with each breath I took but remained steady and allowed me to breathe as I would.
Out of her many bundles she produced for me a polished mirror with a bone handle.
"Here, take the mask off, if you wish," she said, her oval eyes very brave and hard. "You will not frighten me!"
I looked at her for a long moment, cherishing her beauty, studying all the subtle changes which the Blood had worked in her¡ªhow it had made her so extravagantly and richly the replica of her former self.
"You find me pleasing, do you not?" she asked.
"Always," I said. "There was a time when I wanted so to give you the Blood that I couldn't look at you. There was a time when I would not go to your rooms for fear that I should lure you to the Blood with all my charms, such as they ever were. "
She was amazed. "I never dreamt it," she said.
I looked into the mirror. I saw the mask. I thought of the name of the Order: Talamasca. I thought of Raymond Gallant.
"You can read nothing of my mind now, can you?" I asked her.
"No," she said, "nothing. " She was most puzzled.
"It's the way," I said. "Because I made you. You can read the minds of others, yes¡"
". . . yes," she answered. "The minds of our victims, yes, and when the blood flows, I see things¡"
". . . yes. And always you will see things, but never with that tool fall for the allure of the innocent, or the blood you drink will suddenly appear on your hands. "
"I understand it," she answered too quickly. "So Amadeo told me all that you'd taught him. Only the Evil Doer. Never the innocent, I know. "
Again, I felt a terrible anger, that these two, these blessed children, had shut me out. I wondered when and how Amadeo had told her these secrets.
But I knew that I should put such jealousy aside.
The awful, awful sadness was that Amadeo was gone from me. Gone. And I could not possibly bring him back. Amadeo was in the hands of those who meant to do unspeakable things. I could not think of it. I could not. I would go mad.
"Look into the mirror," she said again.
I shook my head.
I removed my left glove and stared at my bony fingers. She gave an awful little cry and then she was ashamed.
"Would you still see my face?" I asked.
"No, not for both our sakes," she said. "Not till you've hunted more and I have traveled with you more and am stronger, the better to be your pupil as I promised, as I will be. "
She nodded as she spoke, her voice quite determined.
"Lovely Bianca," I said softly, "meant for such harsh and strong things. "
"Yes, and I shall do them. I will always be with you. You will come in time to love me as you loved him. "
I didn't answer. The agony of losing him was monstrous. How could I deny it with a single syllable?
"And what is happening to him?" I asked, "or have they merely destroyed h
im in some hideous fashion, for you know of course that we can die by the light of the sun, or by the heat of a terrible fire. "
"No, not die, only suffer," she said quickly, looking at me questioningly. "Are you not the living proof?"
"No, die," I said. "With me it's what I told you, that I have lived for over a thousand years. But with Amadeo? It could be death very easily. Pray that they do not design cruelties but only horrors, that whatever they do, they do it quickly or not at all. "
She was filled with fear, and her eyes were watching me as if there were an actual expression on the leather face mask that I wore.
"Come now, you must learn to open this coffin," I said to her. "And before that, I must give you more of my blood. I've taken so many victims, I have more now to give and you must have it or you won't be strong as Amadeo, not at all. "
"But . . . I've changed my clothes," she said. "I don't want to get them bloody. "
I laughed. I laughed and laughed. The whole golden chamber echoed with my laughter.
She stared at me blankly.
"Bianca," I said gently. "I promise you, I won't spill a drop. "
