To Love Again

by Bertrice Small

  "Yes?" he said, shifting on his feet.

  "I want a divorce, Aspar!" Flacilla burst out. This was no time to be coy. She didn't give a damn if he had one or a hundred mistresses tucked away here in the country. She had been twice wed to please her family. Now she wanted to marry for her own sake.

  "You want a divorce?" His look was almost incredulously comical.

  "Ohh, Aspar," she said with utmost candor, her words tumbling out quickly, "our marriage was one of politics. You got what you wanted-the support of the patriarch and the Strabo family in Leo's behalf. I got what I thought I could live with, being the wife of the most powerful man in Byzantium. But ours has been no true marriage. We detested each other on sight! We have never spent a single night, including our wedding night, in the same bed, or under the same roof. You do not really want me. You have even taken Patricius from my care.

  "Well, I am no longer a girl, and for the first time in my life I am in love. I want to marry Justin Gabras, and he wants to marry me. Let me have a divorce, and in exchange I will be your eyes and ears in Verina's court. Verina is very ambitious for both herself and Leo. She would dispose of you if she thought she could, and one day she may think to do so. If I am there for you, you will have no unpleasant surprises to contend with from that quarter. It is a fair offer!"

  He was astounded. If they both wanted the divorce, then the patriarch could hardly contest them, and the Strabos could not be offended. "Yes," he said slowly. "It is a fair offer, Flacilla. Why did you not speak to me about this yesterday when I came for Patricius?"

  "Justin asked me the same thing," Flacilla lied, "but as I told him, I was so distraught by Patricius's departure that I was not thinking clearly; and then you were gone with the child. I promised him, however, that I would come to you this very day and settle the matter."

  "I have brought wine, my lord." Zeno had reappeared. He set the goblets and the carafe on a small inlaid table.

  "You need not bother to pour," Aspar said. "I will. Return to your duties," he finished meaningfully, hoping Zeno understood.

  "At once, my lord," was the emphasized reply, but at that moment disaster descended as Cailin entered the atrium.

  "I have been told we have guests, my lord," she said.

  Flacilla Strabo's mouth dropped open. She stared hard at the girl, and then managed to gasp, "You! It is you!"

  Cailin looked confused. "Lady, do I know you?" she replied.

  "You are the girl from Villa Maxima! Do not bother to deny it! I recognize you!" Flacilla shrieked, and then she began to laugh. "Ohh, Aspar," she chortled, "you were faithful to Anna, and then waited years past the time when most men take a mistress. Now, in the twilight of your years, you choose one, and she is the most notorious girl in all of Byzantium! You will give me my divorce, and we will call the matter even. If you do not, I shall tell the world of your whore, and then you will be the laughingstock of the empire. Your usefulness will be over, and where will your power be? You will be helpless! I can scarcely believe my good fortune! The girl from Villa Maxima!"

  "Who is this coarse creature, my lord?" Cailin said icily.

  "Coarse?Me?" Flacilla glared angrily at the girl. God! She was so young!

  "May I present my wife, Flacilla Strabo," Aspar said formally. What an incredible piece of bad luck that Cailin should come into the atrium before Zeno could find her and warn her off. Well, it could not be helped. He would have to make the best of it. He looked at Flacilla. "I was not aware that you patronized Villa Maxima."

  "Occasionally," Flacilla answered carefully. "Jovian's little playlet was the rage of the city early last summer. She does not look like a whore, Aspar."

  "I am not," Cailin replied sharply. "My blood is nobler than yours, lady. I am a Drusus of the great Roman family."

  "Rome is finished. It has been for eons, and since Attila pillaged it several years ago, there is little of any consequence left, including its families. This is the center of the world now," Flacilla sneered.

  "Do not boast so proudly, lady," Cailin returned. "This center of the world you so loftily hail is as rotten as an egg that has lain in the sun all day. In Britain we do not debase our women before an audience of lewd and cheering lechers! You should be ashamed to admit to what you saw, but why should it surprise me? Even your priests came to see Jovian's entertainments. The outward beauty of your city cannot make up for the darkness in your hearts and souls. I pity you."

  "Will you allow this slave to speak to me so?" Flacilla demanded. She glared angrily at Aspar. "I am still your wife, and will have respect!"

  "Cailin is not a slave," Aspar said quietly. "I freed her months ago. She is your equal, Flacilla, and may speak to you as she chooses." He took Cailin's hand in his and then continued, "I will give you your divorce, Flacilla. I will go with you myself to the patriarch, and we will tell him of our wishes. I have no quarrel with you, and never have had. If you have found happiness, as I have found it, then I wish you well, and will do whatever I can to ensure your good fortune."

  Flacilla's anger was almost immediately tempered. "That is most generous of you, my lord," she said slowly.

  "There is one condition," he told her. "You will not gossip about Cailin's past, Flacilla. You must swear to me that you will be silent, or I will not acquiesce in this matter. A divorce is more to your advantage, my dear wife, than it is to mine. And you will still be my eyes and ears at Verina's court. Those are my terms. Will you swear?"

  "Why is this more to my advantage than to yours, Aspar?" Flacilla said.

  "You wish to marry Justin Gabras, do you not? You cannot marry him without a divorce. I, on the other hand, will never be permitted to marry Cailin because of her unusual beginnings in Constantinople. The fact that I keep her with me as my mistress is not a crime, nor is it considered unique for a man of my position. Whether you are my wife or not, Flacilla, Cailin will remain my mistress; but to marry your lover, my dear, you must be free of me. So it is more to your advantage that I agree to divorce you than it is to mine. Would you not say I am correct?" He smiled at her in a friendly manner, cocking his head to one side questioningly. "Well, Flacilla, what say you, my dear?"

  She nodded. "As always, Aspar, you are correct. I must tell you that I have ever found this trait of yours most irritating, however. Very well, I swear on the body of our crucified Lord that I will not gossip or speak ill of your little barbarian pagan lover. I rarely give my word, as you know. You also know you may trust that word."

  "I do, Flacilla," he said. "Now when would you like to meet with your cousin, the patriarch? I am at your disposal in this matter."

  "Let us do it today!" she said eagerly. "Let us simply call upon him, without warning. If we take him unawares, he is more likely to cooperate than if he sits down with his council of bishops and they natter on about the matter. I know just the argument to sway him, Aspar."

  "Go on ahead of me," he told her. "I will ride, and catch up with you before you even reach the city gates. Allow me to escort you to your litter, Flacilla. Cailin, remain here."

  "I am content to do so," she said, and he heard ice in her tone.

  Aspar walked with his wife to where her litter awaited her.

  "What a pity you cannot marry her," Flacilla said wickedly. "She loves you like Anna did, and is obviously meant to be a good wife; but she has spirit, like I do. The perfect mate, Aspar, and you cannot have her. It hardly seems fair after all your service to the empire," Flacilla mocked him. "Tsk! Tsk!"

  He smiled, unaffected by her cruel barbs, more concerned with Cailin, whom he knew was going to be furious with him for not telling her that she was already a free woman. "It will be as God wills it, my dear," he replied smoothly, spoiling Flacilla's obvious glee as he helped her into her luxurious litter. "I will be with you as quickly as I can." Closing the curtains of the vehicle smartly, he told the bearers, "Take the lady Flacilla to the palace of the patriarch at once." Then Aspar turned about and went back into the atrium of his villa. />
  Cailin was pacing around the fish pond. She whirled at the sound of his step and shouted at him, "How could you keep such a thing from me, my lord? Or was it a lie told simply to annoy that dreadful creature?"

  "It is true," he said. "You have been a free woman again since that day I promised it to you. I could not tell you the whole truth, Cailin. I am not a young man, but God help me, I love you! I feared if I told you that you were free, you would leave me; that you would attempt some foolish flight back to Britain, and end up in a worse situation than the one from which I rescued you."

  For a moment pity welled in her eyes, but it was quickly gone. "Oh, Aspar," she said to him. "Do you not know that I love you also? Until you found me, and yes, even for a time afterward, I dreamed of returning to Britain to avenge myself upon Antonia Porcius. But what good would it do me? Would vengeance return me to my family? My husband? My child? I do not think so. Antonia's revenge certainly did not return Quintus to her. Wulf Ironfist will have found himself another wife by now. Perhaps they even have a child. He husbands the lands that were once my family's. My return would bring but unhappiness to all involved. It is a new age for Britain, and it would seem that I am not meant to be a part of it. This is where my fate has brought me, and here I will remain, by your side and in your heart as long as you will have me, Aspar." She surprised herself with her own words, but even as she had spoken them, she realized it was time to put her dreams aside and face reality. It was unlikely that she would ever see Britain again.

  "They will not let us marry, Cailin," he said sadly.

  "Who? Your Christian priests? I am not a Christian, Aspar. I am, what was it your wife called me? A pagan. Do you remember the old words of the Roman marriage? Perhaps you do not, but divorce Flacilla, and I will teach them to you that we may say them to each other. Then whatever others may say, we will be bound together for all eternity, my dearest lord," Cailin promised him. Slipping her arms about him, she pressed herself hard against him and kissed him with all the passion her young soul could muster. Then looking up at him, she said, "And you will never, ever again keep things from me, or tell me half-truths, my darling lord, or I shall be very, very angry. You have not yet seen my wild temper in full force, and you do not wish to, I promise you!"

  She astounded him, and the happiness filling him would only allow him to say, "You love me? You love me!" He caught her up in his arms and swung her about happily. "Cailin loves me!"

  "Put me down!" she said, laughing. "You will have the servants thinking that you have lost your wits entirely, my lord."

  "Just my heart, my love, and that you will keep safe for me, I know it!" He placed her gently upon her feet.

  "Go to Constantinople now, my lord, and convince those you must to rid you of that harpy you wed for expediency's sake," Cailin told him. "I will eagerly await your return."

  "I will legalize any children you bear me," he promised her.

  "I know you will do the just thing," she replied. "Now go!"

  He did not even have to give orders. Zeno appeared to inform his master that his horse was saddled and awaiting him in the courtyard. Aspar laughed aloud. It was a conspiracy, he thought to himself. His servants adored Cailin and would do whatever they must to ensure both her happiness and his. He rode off down the road to the city, eventually catching up with Flacilla's litter. Together they traveled the rest of the distance to the patriarch's palace, where they were admitted immediately and announced to Constantinople's religious leader.

  The patriarch looked warily at the couple before him. "And to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you both?" he murmured nervously.

  "We want a divorce," Flacilla said bluntly. "Both Aspar and I are agreed upon it. You cannot refuse us. We have no marriage, and never have, my lord. We have not even cohabited once, and I have constantly betrayed my husband with men of low degree," she finished.

  "Constantly?" Aspar said, one dark eyebrow arching quizzically.

  "You rarely knew," Flacilla said smugly, and then she laughed almost ruefully. "They do not all end as scandalously as did the little episode of the gladiator and the actor, my lord."

  The patriarch paled. "You knew of that unfortunate incident?" he asked Aspar.

  "I knew," the general replied. "My sources are even better than yours are, my lord patriarch. I chose to overlook it."

  "Because of your little mistress?" the patriarch countered, his black robes swirling about as he paced the room edgily. "You will never be permitted to marry her. Your prestige is too valuable to Byzantium, Flavius Aspar. Your behavior is tolerated because you have been discreet, but only for that reason. Go home, both of you."

  "I have twice married for the good of my family," Flacilla said, taking up the argument. "I was content to remain a widow when my husband Constans died, but the Strabos would make me this man's wife. Well, I have served my purpose for them, and for you. Now I want to be happy with a man of my own choosing."

  Her blue eyes glared fiercely at the patriarch. "Cousin, I wish to marry Justin Gabras, and he wishes to marry me. He is the first lover with whom I have been involved who is my equal. The Gabras family is, as you well know, the first family of Trebizond. The emperor is in your pocket now, and Aspar is the most loyal citizen in this land. You need fear neither of them. I would be far more useful as Justin Gabras's wife, as this should give you an important toehold in Trebizond. Refuse us, and we will cause such a scandal that neither you nor this emperor will survive it! I mean it, cousin, and you know that I am capable of such destruction," Flacilla finished threateningly.

  "You are content to allow this marriage?" the patriarch said feebly to Aspar, but even as he spoke he knew that Aspar undoubtedly considered this situation a pure stroke of luck.

  "I have no quarrel with Flacilla," Aspar replied smoothly. "If this marriage can make her happy, why should we refuse her, my lord? To what purpose? She is correct about the Gabras family, and they would, I suspect, even be grateful to Flacilla. Her lover has never before married, and a marriage may settle his rather erratic personality. That would certainly reflect well on the Strabos, and upon you. And if marriage does not settle him, we are, none of us, any the worse off." He shrugged. "As for my situation, I will continue to remain discreet. Little can be said about an unmarried man who keeps a mistress and is faithful to her, my lord. It is small reward I ask for all my services to the empire."

  "She must be baptized," the patriarch said. "We can tolerate a Christian mistress, Flavius Aspar, but never a pagan. I will choose a priest myself for her instruction, and when he tells me she is ready to receive the sacrament, I will baptize her myself into the true Orthodox faith of Byzantium. Will you accept my decision in this matter?"

  "I will," Aspar said, wondering just how he was going to explain it to Cailin. She would find it very irrational, but in the end he knew she would do it to please him, and because it was the only way that their relationship would be tolerated by the powers that be.

  The patriarch turned to Flacilla. "You will have your divorce, cousin, and before your Strabo family relations even know it. I do not intend to argue with them over this matter. Choose a wedding date, and I will personally marry you to Justin Gabras. It is to be done, however, privately and with a little decorum, Flacilla. I will not allow either of you to make a circus of this matter. And afterward you will hostess a family party to properly celebrate this new union. There will be no orgy. Do you understand? Will Justin Gabras understand?"

  "It will be as you desire, my lord patriarch," Flacilla said meekly.

  The cleric laughed humorlessly. "If it is," he said, "then it will be the first time you ever really obeyed me, cousin."

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  Chapter 11

  Spring always came sooner to Byzantium than it did to Britain, Cailin noted, not displeased by the early display of flowering trees in Aspar's orchards. The general was a good master, as each peasant she met was quick to assure her. While many on neighboring estates w
ere worn down by the incredible taxation placed on the farmers by the imperial government, Aspar paid the taxes imposed on his people so that they would not have to leave their own small bits of land. Taxes unfortunately could not be paid in kind. They had to be paid in gold, yet the price of all produce and farm animals was strictly regulated by the government, making it nearly impossible for freedmen to meet their obligations. The government kept these prices artificially low to satisfy the populace. Many small farmers attached to other estates had practically sold themselves into serfdom to their overlords so that they and their families might just survive.

  "If you had no farmers," Cailin said to her lover, "where would we get our foodstuffs? Does the government not consider that? Why are the merchants taxed so little, and the farmers so much?"

  "For the same reason ships docking in the Golden Horn are only charged two solidi on their arrival, but fifteen solidi on their departure. The government wants luxury goods and staples brought into the city, but not traded away out of it. That is why the merchants are charged such low taxes. Someone has to make up the deficit. Since the farmers have no choice but to farm the land, and are so scattered throughout the country they cannot unite and complain, the heaviest burden of taxation falls upon them," Aspar told her. "Governments have always acted thusly, for there is always someone willing to farm the land."

  "That is totally illogical," Cailin responded. "It is the luxury goods that should be taxed, and not the poor souls who supply the necessities of everyday life! Who makes such foolish laws?"

  "The senate," he said, smiling at her outrage. "You see, my love, the bulk of the luxury goods are sold to the ruling class, and the very rich have a strong aversion to heavy taxation. The government keeps the majority of the populace content by regulating the price of everything that is sold. The poor farmers, a minority, can cry out all they want. Their voices will not be heard in either the senate or in the palace. Only when the majority of the people threaten rebellion do those in power listen, and then not particularly closely, but just enough to save their own skins," Aspar finished cynically.