Blossoms of The Heart

by Khardine Gray

  She tamed the beast in me though. I was different when I was with her.

  Maybe because I knew she couldn’t be mine, and I wanted her to be.

  I didn’t know how I’d forgotten that. Or, rather suppressed the emotion for so long.

  The soft bronze skin of the swells of her breasts taunted me. I watched in fascination as the two distinct points of her nipples hardened, pressing against the fabric on her bra and top. Those felt amazing last night.

  I was an idiot to pass up the chance of looking, at the very least.

  “Day two, Tai. In fact it’s morning.”

  “And what a great morning it’s been.”

  “You keep looking at my ass.”

  “And your tits, don’t forget that.” I needed to kiss her again. The urge was killing me.

  “You’re a perv and you’re so vulgar.”

  “And yet, you like it.” She wanted me like this. Any other way and she wouldn’t like me.

  “I think you’re an asshole.”

  “Sure, but you like the asshole in me.” I pressed my hands to the flat of her stomach and ran my hands over her waist and down to the curve of her right hip.

  “No.”

  “Don’t lie.” I knew first-hand that was a bald-faced lie.

  “I don’t like you.” Her voice shook a little.

  That was another lie, a terrible one.

  I had to laugh. “Really, Phoebe?

  “Yes, lieutenant.”

  God, she said it, and in that sexy slow way too.

  I lowered to kiss her but she moved her face and my lips caught the smooth skin of her neck.

  I placed a line of kisses along her neck and she giggled. She tried to pull away but I caught her, securing a grip to her tiny waist.

  “I’m not doing this here with you.”

  She was right. Any moment now one of the guys would walk in. We were right out in the open.

  When I pulled her closer she moved away and swatted at my hands as I went for her breasts.

  “You are crazy. You can’t do that.”

  “Not like we haven’t gotten up close and personal before.”

  “Are you talking about last night when you kissed me and rejected me like you tasted something bad?”

  “No. I didn’t reject you.” No way in fuck was I going to allow her to believe that.

  I stepped in again, cupping the side of her face with one hand and blocking her exit with the other, returning my palm to the wall.

  “Don’t kiss me again.” Something that looked like fear flickered in her eyes.

  “Why?”

  “I’m too tired to play games.”

  “Then just lie down and I’ll do all the work.”

  She smiled. “You want me to lie down so you can kiss me?”

  I looked over her luscious body, feeling my cock now bursting to break free. “That’s not the only thing I want to do to you.”

  I loved the rose color that tinted her cheeks, and the daring look in her eyes. “What do you want to do to me?”

  Jesus, she’d just taken me over the edge. “Angry fucking.”

  Her breath hitched and her eyes widened. “Why does it have to be angry?”

  I searched her eyes. “It’s the best kind, and fitting for us.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Hard-on for eleven years. Your mom’s still in my bad books.” The past. It would always sneak up on me. Even when I wasn’t directly thinking about it, it was there like a fucking ghost haunting me. “I’m furious. Just imagine it, Phoebe, you and me. We’d have a lot of making up to do.” Yes, I’d lost my fucking mind and I couldn’t remember why I hadn’t taken her and bent her over that desk already.

  “No.” She held my gaze.

  The word. That word. No. It caught my attention, pulling me from that lust-filled fog that hazed over my mind. She’d never said no to me before. Not ever. Not when she definitely should have and not when I knew she’d get slack for it.

  “What?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  She stepped closer, reached out and ran her fingers over the metal of my tags, brushing the tips of her fingers against my chest.

  “It’s complicated.” She sighed, but it was the way she said it that gripped me. With a soft sexy pout she knew would turned me on.

  But again she was right. It was complicated. It was complicated last night and still continued to be complicated.

  Fuck. I closed my eyes and sighed.

  Candace.

  This whole business of me deciding on giving her a second chance was…

  Well it was clear I couldn’t do it.

  Complicated. No. It wasn’t complicated at all. It was clear.

  I knew who I wanted. I knew who I still wanted, and it wasn’t Candace.

  It was Phoebe. I bit the inside of my lips.

  Phoebe, the damn minx. She slipped out of my reach and had the audacity to look me up and down before she walked away.

  Chapter 12

  Phoebe

  That took some strength.

  Some damn strength I didn’t know I had.

  Jesus please don’t let me fall over. My legs were shaking so much as I walked away from Tai.

  Walked away from the man that had haunted my fantasies my whole life.

  But, Tai couldn’t have said it better.

  Complicated.

  What a good word. It said it all and stopped any further conversation or questions.

  The user of the word could take refuge in the sense that they wouldn’t be expected to explain themselves and the hearer would just have to bite the damn bullet and accept whatever complicated meant.

  I wasn’t angry at him for last night. No.

  And, it was fine that nothing more than a crazy ass kiss happened between us.

  As wild as it would have been, I didn’t know what I would have done if we’d ended up having sex on the beach. Right now I wanted to keep any sex on the beach limited to the drink and not the action.

  And just now…

  I would be lying if I said I expected anything other than hearing exactly what was on Tai’s mind.

  Angry fucking.

  What the hell?

  He actually said that to me. And added to it by saying that stuff about Mom.

  I would always feel guilty for the way that she treated him, like he was nothing. As if I was so much better than he was, and like he was trying to force himself on me.

  It was all complicated. On my part and on his, and I suspected this ‘maybe’ girlfriend was the crux of his complication.

  For me, it was all too much and I was exhausted. I couldn’t think straight and I always made crazy decisions when I was in this state.

  Sticking to my very dry spell was safer.

  A man in my life was the very last thing I needed, especially one like Tai who liked to play games and leave you feeling like you got sucked into a whirlwind backwards.

  Tai watched me until I left the room.

  There was nothing more to say.

  No more temptation. It wasn’t good for me.

  I went straight outside and decided on taking a walk in the park adjoining the

  center and the museum.

  I got completely lost in the beautiful, picturesque scenery that lay before me from the moment I cast my gaze to the park entrance.

  The cherry blossoms were in full bloom. The trees ran along opposite sides of the path displaying an effulgent array of color. Pink of varying shades and hues. Breathtaking and stunning flowing in the gentle morning breeze that provided that languid feel I longed for.

  I could have been walking around in a dream or a depiction of paradise.

  I sat by the lake and watched the swans for a little while. it gave me a much needed break for my tired body, mind and soul.

  God, I’d been through so much.

  Being in Japan felt like coming home. I was more at home here than I was in Chicago.

  Chicago w
as what felt like the second home. It always did.

  It wouldn’t really be that hard for me to move here. Maybe I should give it some serious thought.

  The best part about being here was not having that constant presence of Jason around me.

  He knew wouldn’t take what I did lightly. He’d come for me somehow for embarrassing him the way I did at his meeting, and in front of the Secretary of State.

  I could handle whatever he threw at me but not having to deal with it would be even better. But then there was my job and I loved working with Dad.

  He was close to retirement, but I didn’t think he was going to retire.

  He’d probably want me to take the opportunity to stay here though, because it would be good for me.

  I struggled with the idea of moving to the lake house and that was my little refuge. When I looked back now I couldn’t recall why it was so hard. I put work first because my apartment was a stone throw away.

  This was Japan. Different and I’d be here for work.

  I knew deep down I could find happiness again too, and maybe find myself.

  If Tai didn’t make me crazy.

  It was hard to go back to the office, but I did about two hours later, getting back for a few minutes past ten.

  Scott and Kenny were sitting around their desks but there was no sign of Tai.

  I went straight back to working on the journal .

  Yesterday I browsed over the whole thing just to get a view of what I was up against. That was when I saw all the potential stumbling blocks. It made sense now that the first part of the journal seemed to talk about the samurai’s early life but then from the middle onward it became this weird mass of language overload and nonsensical words.

  Normally I’d read through, then read again while translating.

  The first read through would be to get the understanding. Since it was written in ancient Chinese I’d have to look up a few dialect customs I knew from those times.

  But it looked like I’d have to make a host of notes and do some further research. It could actually take weeks depending on what I’d have to do.

  I decided that what I’d do was make a plan. One full read through of the entire thing while making notes on what I was stuck on. Then I’d tackle those things. I had Dad as my fountain of knowledge to bounce ideas off and a few friends back at the Smithsonian.

  I got the feeling I was going to need their help with this.

  I began reading and continued until lunch time. Scott was a sweetheart and kept bringing me hot drinks and fruit until he and Kenny left for a meeting at the museum.

  No sign of Tai though since this morning. He was gone yesterday too. Perhaps it was for the best. It would have been awkward being in the room with him.

  Having the office to myself was nice. It was library quiet.

  There was just me, the occasional click-clack from my fingers on the keyboard as I made notes and the shush of the wind rustling through the trees from the open window in the corner.

  At one-thirty the door opened and in came Mitsuke. As always she looked like she’d just stepped off the runway. She beamed at me, smiling wide with her glossy red lips.

  My mouth watered instantly when I saw she carried a brown paper bag that said Sozai Miyahara on the front in bold black letters. The Japanese characters for the name right underneath. I loved that deli. It was right in the center of the Tokyo Prefecture where it was always busy. Getting food at this time had to be a mission. One I would have gladly accepted for the divine food.

  I’d been so engrossed in the journal that I hadn’t taken note of how hungry I was.

  The aroma filled the air as she got closer.

  I already knew she had tonkatsu in the bag. The deep fried, breaded, melt in your mouth cutlets of succulent pork called to me.

  “Mitsuke.” I smiled.

  “Hi, best friend. I thought we could be pigs today.” She beamed. Her cherry red six inch heels clicked on the wooden steps as she made her way up.

  I stood up and gave her a quick hug.

  “I want to be a pig.” Gladly. I couldn’t believe it had been two years since I had this heavenly food, or that I hadn’t put going to Sozai Miyahara on my to do list.

  “I’m so glad you said that because I brought us a feast.” She nodded then frowned. “I’m in LA next week. Asako’s sick so I have to fill in.”

  Asako was the senior editor. Mitsuke was always complaining about her.

  “You say that like it’s a problem.” I laughed pretty certain this was one of those times when Mitsuke would get a chance to shine. She was great at her job but what I called settled so didn’t always like having to step up to show off her true talent.

  “I wanted to take you to the Fujiwara Festival. It’s on Wednesday. I’m going to miss the whole thing.”

  Oh I understood now. May had a host of festivals but the Fujiwara Festival was the one we usually started off with because of the period dress parade.

  “It’s fine. I’m going to point out that you going to LA in place of Asako is a good thing. You love LA.”

  “Lived there too long while I was studying and training.”

  “But you love LA.” I emphasized because I knew she did. “You will also do an amazing job. There are plenty more festivals we can go to when you get back.” I’d already planned on dragging her along to the Yoshida fire festival in August but there were others, and tons of places I wanted to go to as well. “A weekend break would be nice too.”

  She gasped like she just got the best idea. “Okinawa.”

  I was nodding before she could even finish getting the words out. “Absolutely yes.”

  She held up the bag and her expression brightened. “Ready to be a pig?”

  “Just call me Miss Piggy. What did you get?”

  When she meant to be a pig she really did mean it. Fortunately for her she never gained weight. I, on the other hand, could gain a pound just from looking at the food.

  She rested the bag on my desk and opened it, releasing the aroma of deliciousness.

  It immediately filled the air, overpowering the prior smell of furniture polish and books.

  “Tonkatsu.” She said with emphasis looking proud of herself. “ Chicken katsu currey with sicky rice. Prawn and vegetable yaki soba and tubs of coconut ice cream.”

  There was a chance I’d gain at least fifty pounds by the end of the summer but I didn’t care.

  “Thank you so much.” My stomach rumbled as if to thank her too.

  “You’re welcome. I figured I’d come by and see how you were on your first full day.” She handed me my carton of tonkatsu first and a pair of chop sticks. “Plus get the juice on what happened between you and Tai last night.” Curiosity flickered in her eyes.

  Damn it. Of course that would be hidden in there somehow.

  I couldn’t complain since I would have done the same or worse. Or actually I would have assumed she took her guy home and slept with him. So I would have made that phone call this morning the minute the sun came up.

  “There’s no juice,” I lied.

  She frowned and opened the bag to take out her share. “Phoebe Walker, don’t you dare lie to me. I am your friend. In fact we’re sisters, let’s just call ourselves that. Except I’m Japanese. So spill it sister.” She pointed her chopsticks at me and waved it around, baring her fangs.

  I laughed at her craziness. “There’s nothing to spill. We went to the circuit, met some of his friends who work for him at his garage, then we walked on the beach.”

  Walked, kissed, groped.

  My imagination took over again and I could see Tai and me together, tangled in the dark naked and panting. Anxiety and anticipation shivered down my spine and I had to shake the image out of my head.

  Didn’t happen and wasn’t going to.

  “That’s it?” she huffed, pouting.

  “Yeah, did you want there to be more?”

  “You want more, I could tell from last night, and he wanted
more too.”

  “No, he didn’t.” I knew from today that he actually did.

  “He did. Trust me.” She nodded vigorously like she was privy to something I wasn’t.

  I thought back again on how I never told her about what happened between Tai and me when I was eighteen. I didn’t normally feel anyway by keeping my silence because we never really spoke about him, but now I did.

  She looked like she wanted there to me something more between us.

  “Well he was the perfect gentleman.” Bald-faced lie. His talk of angry fucking and owning my ass made him anything other than a perfect gentleman.

  Mitsuke burst out laughing. “You forget who you’re talking to, Phoebe. I know my cousin. He’s no perfect gentleman. Also I wouldn’t have let him take you if I wasn’t sure you were into him too. Come on, it’s me, plus I’m bored. Nothing exciting happens anymore. Not since Dad’s maid ran off with the pool boy.”

  My mouth dropped. “What?”

  “Yup. I talked about that for weeks.”

  “You didn’t tell me.”

  “You would have had to be here. Michelle was in her late forties and married to an idiot who didn’t appreciate her. Alexandro, was a super-hot Brazilian guy who was travelling and just making some money while Dad taught him Japanese on weekends. I think he was twenty- five, maybe a year or so younger. Anyway, he just came by dad’s one day after hearing Michelle had a big argument with her husband who’d hit her. He came with a truck and took her away to God knows were.”

  “Wow, good for Michelle.” I nodded. Sounded like she needed a good, sexy man to take her away from an idiot who thought it would be okay to hit his wife.

  Men like that made me sick.

  “I hope she has lots of hot sex. Younger men have more stamina.” Mitsuke mused.

  “Mitsuke what have you been up to?” I accused, tilting my head to the side and giving her a knowing look. Nothing surprised me when it came to her.

  “Nothing more than usual.”

  “And what’s usual? What’s the youngest you’ve ever been with?”

  “Threesome with two grad students last year. They were twenty-four.” She gave me a saucy look while my poor mouth dropped wide open. “Eat your food , dear, before it gets cold. Won’t taste the same.”

  I just ate. Best not to ask more.