Reform of the Rake

by Catherine George

  ‘Pretty cruel if it was!’

  ‘Now Rhosyn’s safe I can’t feel it was total cruelty where I’m concerned, if I’m honest.’ His eyes locked with hers, bright and unwavering over the candle flames. ‘Nothing else would have compelled you to contact me, Lowri, would it?’

  Her eyes fell. ‘Possibly not.’

  ‘Which brings me to something you said earlier. My mother, you promised, would be welcome to visit Rhosyn, but what about me?’ Adam reached a hand across the table to capture hers. ‘Like it or not, I am Rhosyn’s father, Lowri.’

  ‘If you’d shown more enthusiasm for the idea from the start I’d be more sympathetic,’ she retorted. Her chin lifted. ‘To be accused of trapping a man into marriage is a pretty difficult thing to forget. Or forgive.’

  Adam released her hand and sat back, his face hidden in the shadow beyond the candlelight. ‘It was said in the heat of the moment, at a time when life was throwing quite a lot at me, one way and another. Now I can’t think why the thought ever crossed my mind, but if it makes you feel any better I’ve paid for it ever since, one way and another. Haven’t you ever said anything you regret, Lowri?’

  ‘I regret the thing I didn’t say,’ she said bitterly, and swallowed the rest of her champagne in one gulp. ‘As I mentioned once before, a good old-fashioned no to you in the beginning would have saved us all a lot of trouble.’

  ‘Then there’d be no Rhosyn,’ he said swiftly, and Lowri calmed down somewhat as she digested this incontrovertible truth.

  ‘That’s one point in your favour, I suppose,’ she muttered after a while, and got up. ‘You go in the other room while I clear up.’

  ‘No. We’ll do it together,’ he said decisively, in a tone Lowri didn’t dare argue with.

  In taut silence they dealt with the detritus of their meal, and afterwards Adam took a tray of coffee into the other room while Lowri went to look at Rhosyn, something she’d been doing at regular intervals all evening, almost unable to credit the miracle of having her child safe once more. Adam came to join her, and in silence they looked down at the flushed, angelic little face together, then without a word he turned away at last and left the room as quietly as he came.

  Lowri stayed where she was, her eyes on Rhosyn, but her mind on Rhosyn’s father. What did she do now? Allow Adam a visit now and then? But if she did, explanations could be difficult once Rhosyn was old enough to understand why Daddy lived somewhere else. And always had.

  The telephone brought her from her reverie, but by the time she got to the hall Adam had answered it.

  ‘It’s your father,’ he said, handing her the receiver, and went back into the sitting-room, closing the door behind him.

  Lowri joined him after a while, and poured coffee for them both in a silence Adam broke after a while as though he could stand it no longer.

  ‘Your father anxious about Rhosyn?’ he asked abruptly.

  ‘He was pleased she’d settled down to sleep happily, yes.’ Lowri got up from her chair and sat on the sofa beside him. ‘Adam, what are you doing tomorrow?’

  He frowned. ‘Tomorrow?’

  Lowri nodded. ‘Yes, tomorrow, the twenty-fifth of December, Christmas Day.’

  His face set. ‘I hadn’t forgotten. I’m spending it with my mother, what else?’

  Lowri thrust a hand through her hair, coughed, looked away, then in a rush said ‘Dad thought—I mean Holly suggested—and if you don’t want to they’ll understand, so will I, of course, please feel free to refuse—’

  ‘Refuse what, for crying out loud?’ Adam said in exasperation.

  Lowri took a deep breath. ‘The weather forecast is good, and it’s not all that far, so Dad thought you might like to drive your mother down to spend the day with us, in Cwmderwen, I mean—to celebrate getting Rhosyn back safely for Christmas.’

  A light flared in Adam’s eyes. ‘Your father’s inviting me?’

  Lowri nodded. ‘And your mother.’

  Adam gazed at her in silence, a very strange look on his face. ‘How about you?’

  ‘Oh, I’ll be there too,’ she assured him flippantly.

  He caught her hands in his. ‘You know perfectly well what I’m asking,’ he said with sudden violence. ‘Do you want me there?’

  She nodded wordlessly, and he caught her to him and kissed her, and it was so good to feel his mouth on hers with the old, potent hunger Lowri let him go on kissing her and kissed him back. But when she felt the urgency rise in a powerful tide in his body Lowri drew away, shaking her head.

  Adam’s face set into an expressionless mask. ‘So you’re still punishing me.’

  ‘No. I’m not. But you can’t walk back into my life and expect everything to be the same, Adam.’ Lowri got to her feet. ‘I don’t feel any animosity towards you now—I suppose the past twenty-four hours were something of a lesson in priorities. But when I asked you to stay tonight I made it quite clear it wasn’t in my bed.’

  ‘Such an exalted privilege never occurred to me,’ he said bitterly, and jumped to his feet. ‘All I took—and received—was a kiss, Lowri.’

  They stared at each other in a taut, hostile silence broken at last by the sound of church bells.

  Adam made a jerky, uncharacteristic gesture. ‘It’s Christmas, Lowri. Goodwill towards men.’

  ‘Then, since you’re indisputedly a man,’ she said with a faint, reluctant smile, ‘and entitled to goodwill, let’s call a truce. Merry Christmas, Adam.’ She closed the gap between them and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

  ‘Merry Christmas,’ he responded, and returned the kiss very carefully in kind.

  ‘Now,’ said Lowri practically, ‘will it frighten your mother to death if you ring her this late? I hope not, because after insisting she joins the Morgans for Christmas you’ve got to remind her to put the turkey in the freezer.’

  Christmas Day was at once the strangest and the most wonderful Lowri had ever spent in her life—and the longest. After only a few hours’ sleep she woke Adam very early so he could give Rhosyn the teddy and help her open her Christmas stocking. After a hasty breakfast Lowri sped him on his way to London then dressed her daughter in the dungarees and ski-jacket chosen by Mrs Hawkridge, pinned the cricket brooch to the collar of her new red shirt and set off on the two-hour journey to Cwmderwen.

  When she arrived at the familiar house with the sentrybox porch and long, rambling garden, Geraint Morgan appeared in the doorway before Lowri came to a halt. He came sprinting down the path, with Holly following more slowly, holding Huw by the hand, their faces so bright with welcome and love that Lowri had a fight to keep back the tears as she freed Rhosyn from her car seat just in time to be caught in a communal embrace as they all hugged each other, and Geraint Morgan kissed his granddaughter over and over again before hefting her on one arm with his little son on the other, leaving Holly and Lowri to follow him up the path to the house.

  Holly Morgan, who was tall and slender, with smudges of fatigue under her dark eyes, kept her arm round Lowri as they stood in the hall watching Geraint help Huw show Rhosyn the tall, brightly lit Christmas tree.

  ‘It’s a miracle,’ she sighed, her eyes wet. She gave Lowri a searching look. ‘How are you—really, I mean? I can see the dark marks under your eyes. We’ve all got a matching set after that terrible night. But are you feeling all right underneath?’

  ‘I feel wonderful!’ said Lowri with truth, and grinned. ‘Ready to peel sprouts or baste the turkey, or whatever you like, now you’ve got two extra visitors to cope with.’

  Geraint Morgan, whose powerful build was the kind more associated with a rugby scrum than a solicitor’s office, looked up with a smile. ‘That was Holly’s idea, by the way.’

  ‘You mean you still have reservations about Adam,’ countered Lowri.

  ‘Have you?’

  Lowri shrugged. ‘I don’t know what I feel towards Adam, except that whatever it is it’s nothing to do with animosity.’

  ‘Then I’ll extend tr
ue Welsh hospitality to both Adam and Mrs Hawkridge,’ said her father firmly. ‘In the meantime let’s have a medicinal glass of cheer and open the presents before these two do it for us.’

  By the time Adam arrived with his mother the sitting-room was a sea of wrapping paper, with two small, excited people playing happily with each other’s toys while their elders relaxed under the influence of good sherry and a blazing fire and the sheer joy of being together after the trauma of Rhosyn’s disappearance.

  Lowri answered the door to the new arrivals, feeling a little tense until she looked into a pair of eyes so like Adam’s she felt she knew his mother already. Alice Hawkridge, who was tall, grey-haired and handsome, with a no-nonsense air about her, bridged the awkward moment of meeting by taking Lowri in her arms and giving her a hug.

  ‘Happy Christmas, my dear.’

  ‘Happy Christmas to you, too, Mrs Hawkridge. I’m so glad you could come.’ Lowri gave her a radiant smile.

  ‘Nothing would have kept me away once your father was kind enough to include us in your celebration. Now don’t keep me in suspense—lead me to my granddaughter!’

  Adam, who had changed from his dark city suit into a tweed jacket and cords at some stage in his travels, looked rather weary as he smiled at Lowri. ‘As you can see, Mother’s priorities are firmly in place.’

  Lowri led the way into the sitting-room, which was in such a mess all constraint evaporated as the introductions were made. Geraint Morgan clasped Adam’s hand, laughing as Alice Hawkridge, once she’d thanked her hosts, promptly sat down on the floor with a child either side and embarked on a detailed examination of every last toy Rhosyn and Huw presented for her inspection, so obviously delighted Holly had no compunction in leaving her to it as she went off with Lowri to see to the meal.

  ‘Do you think Adam will be all right in there with Dad?’ asked Lowri, as she made brandy sauce for the pudding.

  ‘Best to let them get on with it. Besides, your Adam looks well able to take care of himself,’ commented Holly as she decanted vegetables into dishes.

  ‘He’s not my Adam,’ protested Lowri.

  ‘Pull the other one,’ snorted her stepmother.

  The meal was a lively, convivial affair, with no formality possible when two boisterous, noisy little people in highchairs were joining in the fun. Alice Hawkridge insisted on seating herself between Huw and Rhosyn, who ate up their turkey and vegetables like little angels, utterly enslaved by this new playmate.

  The only sober moment came when Geraint Morgan said grace, giving thanks for the blessing of Rhosyn’s return.

  ‘Amen,’ said Lowri huskily, and looked up to meet Adam’s eyes. She smiled shakily, and began passing the plates as her father carved the turkey.

  During the meal Lowri finally relaxed as she saw her father and Adam seemed able to talk together far more easily than she’d expected. And it would have been a very difficult guest indeed who couldn’t have got on with Alice Hawkridge.

  ‘More wine, Adam?’ said Geraint, proffering a bottle.

  ‘Thank you, no, I’m driving,’ said Adam with regret.

  Geraint exchanged a look with Holly, who immediately suggested their guests stay the night.

  ‘It might be a bit of a squash,’ she said smiling, ‘but we can manage if we shift round a bit.’

  Adam obviously welcomed the idea, but his mother shook her head.

  ‘You’ve been wonderfully kind having us here today, and we appreciate it very much indeed, but I think we should go home this evening. You’ve all had a terrible shock and tonight you’ll be tired. The last thing you need is two extra guests for the night.’

  ‘Mother’s right,’ said Adam at once, and smiled warmly at Holly. ‘It’s very good of you, but later on you’ll be glad of some peace.’

  ‘You’d be very welcome,’ said Geraint quietly, and Adam gave him a very direct look.

  ‘Thank you. I appreciate that. Another time we’d be glad to.’

  After the big meal the two children were taken off for a nap while the others drank coffee in front of the fire. The conversation turned inevitably to Rhosyn’s terrifying adventure, and after a while Holly, sensing signs of restlessness in Adam, turned to Lowri.

  ‘Why don’t you take Adam for a walk? Some fresh air before his long drive home might be a good idea.’

  Adam sprang to his feet with such alacrity that Lowri had no choice but to follow suit. Her father, misunderstanding her reluctance, smiled at her reassuringly.

  ‘Don’t worry, cariad—Rhosyn’s safe here.’

  Lowri smiled. ‘I know. And if she wakes up and needs entertaining I’m sure her grandma will be only too happy to oblige.’

  There was general laughter, and Mrs Hawkridge nodded briskly, blinking as she sniffed hard.

  ‘Very happy!’ she agreed.

  Outside in the frosty afternoon Lowri strolled with Adam in rather tense silence along a footpath which took them through the fields to the church.

  ‘Would you like to see inside?’ she asked politely. ‘My uncle—Sarah’s father—was the vicar here.’

  ‘Would you mind if we just walked?’ said Adam. ‘I need to talk to you, Lowri, and since talking to you invariably leads to argument, a church hardly seems the best place.’

  They fell in step again, taking a lane which led through fields crisp with frost.

  ‘You know what I want to talk about,’ went on Adam, a determined jut to his chin.

  Lowri nodded. ‘I assume you want to discuss arrangements for seeing Rhosyn.’

  Adam gave her a black look. ‘You assume wrong. I already know you intend to let me see Rhosyn. Which makes me very happy. What I’m not so happy about is my standing with you. Am I just to be Rhosyn’s father, or are you going to let me back in your life as—’

  ‘As what?’ asked Lowri crisply.

  They paused by a stile.

  ‘I wish,’ said Adam harshly, ‘that I could go back in time and start again at the moment you announced you were pregnant.’

  ‘But, since you can’t, we just have to deal with things the way they are.’ Lowri looked up at him in appeal. ‘Let’s not spoil Christmas Day, Adam, I need time. Surely you can understand that?’

  ‘I thought we’d wasted enough time already,’ he said bitterly. ‘I hoped that after what we’ve been through together these past few days you’d softened towards me. Obviously I was mistaken.’

  Lowri put a hand on his arm. ‘No, you weren’t. But neither of us is functioning normally at the moment—’

  ‘I am,’ he broke in swiftly, and pulled her into his arms, kissing her hungrily, his hold quelling her instinctive bid for freedom. When he raised his head at last he smiled crookedly into her upturned, scarlet face. ‘I deserved one kiss, Lowri.’

  ‘And one kiss is all you’ll get,’ she retorted, thoroughly irritable because her heart was thumping and she badly wanted to throw herself back in his arms and let him kiss her silly.

  Adam was a great deal more cheerful on the way back to the house, where they found Huw and Rhosyn up and dressed and eager to welcome this other large playmate, who proved only too happy to keep them entertained. Tired out at last, the two excited babies had finally been settled down for the night before Adam and his mother took their leave.

  ‘I can’t tell you what this has meant to both of us,’ said Adam with sincerity as he thanked Geraint and Holly.

  ‘Adam’s right,’ said Mrs Hawkridge as she kissed Lowri. ‘I never expected to enjoy a Christmas so much again.’

  ‘I’ll be in touch,’ promised Lowri. ‘You must come and see my shop and spoil Rhosyn as much as you like.’

  ‘I’ll keep you to that, my dear!’

  Tactfully Geraint and Holly walked with Mrs Hawkridge to the car, leaving Adam and Lowri to say their goodbyes in private.

  ‘When shall I see you again?’ demanded Adam.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said evasively. ‘Call me. We’ll talk about it.’

  For
answer Adam swept her into his arms and kissed her hard, then took her hand and ran with her to the car waiting at the gate. After he got in he put his head out of the window and thanked the Morgans again, then gave Lowri the smile which still made her heart turn over. ‘Soon!’ he said and drove his mother away.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ‘HOW did it go?’ asked Sarah a couple of days later, when Lowri was back in Pennington.

  ‘It was a bit awkward at first,’ admitted Lowri. ‘I mean, the last time Dad and Adam met wasn’t exactly a friendly occasion, was it? But no one could bristle in Mrs Hawkridge’s company for long—’

  ‘I told you she was lovely!’

  ‘You were right. It was a mutual love affair between Mrs H. and Rhosyn from the first—Huw adored her, too. Under any other circumstances I might have been quite jealous. And oddly enough, once they’d got over the first hurdle Dad and Adam got on surprisingly well. Holly liked him a lot, I could tell, though she tried hard to hide it from me in case I thought she was being disloyal. Anyway, enough of me. How was your Christmas?’

  ‘Exhausting, but fun. Though not as much fun as yours, by the sound of it. I’d love to have been a fly on the wall in Cwmderwen for the first half-hour!’

  Lowri chuckled. ‘Oh, by the way, did you ring Rhia?’

  ‘I certainly did. She was horrified, needless to say, and sends loads of love; so does Mari-Sian. They’ll be round to see you the moment they get back.’ Sarah paused. ‘So what happens now, Lowri?’

  ‘I get back to work and life goes on, I suppose.’

  ‘I mean what happens with Adam?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said Lowri guardedly. ‘I can’t stop him seeing Rhosyn after what happened, of course, but there’s been no talk of—of arrangements, and so on.’

  ‘Surely you’ve thawed a bit towards him by now?’

  ‘Not much.’

  Sarah sighed. ‘You always were an obstinate little mule. Anyway, I trust you’re all organised for my New Year’s Eve soirée?’

  ‘Yes. Fran’s going to lock up and so on at the shop, so I’ll drive down after lunch, well in time to get Rosie to bed.’