The Succubus: A Lawson Vampire Novel (The Lawson Vampire Series)

by Jon F. Merz

“Sometimes.”

  “You’re so lucky. I wish I could go there.”

  I frowned. “Why can’t you?”

  “Too many responsibilities,” said Lilith. “I’m a nurse, so my hours are all over the place.”

  “Plus, you’re married,” I said.

  She nodded. “There’s that.”

  I put on another set of plates on my bar. “Does he come here?”

  “Yes, but usually at another time from me. Although he’s not working now, so he’s here a lot more than he used to.”

  “Have I seen him?”

  She shrugged and I could see that talking about him really bored her. “You’d probably hear him before you saw him. He’s always telling stupid jokes. He’s a buffoon, frankly.”

  I laughed. “Okay. Does he know you feel that way?”

  Her eyes seemed disappointed. I’d seen it before. A bored suburban housewife who had hitched her wagon to the promise of security instead of passion. Marry the financial services guy, the dude who would bald at thirty, get paunchy by forty, and be someone to simply co-exist with rather than adventure through life with. She’d sold her dreams out in order to be comfortable instead of be who she really was: someone who wanted more out of life.

  Lilith looked up at me and smiled, clearly trying to change the subject. “I’m going for a PR. Spot me again, will you?”

  “Of course,” I said.

  18

  By the time we finished, my entire body was wrecked. I grabbed a foam roller, a uniquely awful torture device, and lay on it, rolling it back and forth across my lower back, hamstrings, and then flipped over to hit my quads.

  Lilith had failed at her first PR try but had then come back and managed it, so she was in a good mood. As I quietly tortured myself with the foam roller, she grabbed one and settled down nearby. The next class had started across the room, so we watched them warm up as we rolled out.

  “This thing kills,” said Lilith.

  I glanced at her and grinned. “So good for us, though. Right? Can you imagine we pay to do this to ourselves?”

  “I know.” She winced as the roller moved across her hamstrings. “I break out in a sweat sometimes just from doing this.”

  The door to the gym opened and I saw a little guy come storming in with a sweatshirt and shorts. He was stocky and looked like a gnome with patches of his scalp showing. He spread his arms toward the class and proclaimed, “I haven’t had any bread in a week!”

  Lilith sighed and I looked over at her. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes.” She paused. “That’s my husband.”

  I looked back at the gnome and then back at Lilith. I mean, she wasn’t gorgeous, but neither was she ugly. Lilith could have easily pulled something better than the guy who’d just come in. I wondered how in the hell they’d gotten together, because Lilith looked about as excited to see him as I get for a colonoscopy.

  “What’s his name?”

  “Manny.” She winced as she said it, but I didn’t know whether it was the name or the foam roller that caused her to wince. Probably both.

  Manny was late for class, a fact that obviously did not bother him one tiny bit. The coach informed him he was late, but he just grinned. “Yeah, but I’m here now so I’ll just jump in.”

  The coach frowned. I thought it was terribly disrespectful for Manny to just assume he could slide into class even though he was late. I glanced at Lilith again but she seemed to be doing her best to ignore him.

  “Is he always late?”

  “He’s never on time,” she said. “It drives me crazy.”

  “Does he even care?”

  “I don’t know. He’s an idiot.”

  I laughed. “Okay.”

  She looked up as Manny started joking with other members of the class. “I’m always afraid he’s going to do something that makes him look like a buffoon. We were at a party recently and he started doing dumb stuff. I was mortified.”

  “So tell him to knock it off.”

  She looked at me. “Is that what you’d do?”

  “Why not? If you guys are married and respect each other then tell him something’s bothering you. Why would you put up with him being an idiot? That’s not what marriage is supposed to be like.”

  Lilith sighed and kept rolling out. “I wish someone had told me that a long time ago.”

  Manny bounded over and squatted down next to her. “What’s up Lily?”

  She nodded. “Hey.”

  He looked at me. “I’m Manny.”

  “I gathered.”

  “This is Lawson,” said Lilith.

  Manny shook my hand. It was one of those handshakes you could tell he was overcompensating on. Too tight and too long. I looked down at my hand and then back at him. “Nice grip.”

  He let my hand go. “Thanks. Rope climbs, you know?” He looked back at Lilith. “See you later?”

  “Mm hmm.”

  Manny ran back to join the class. I looked at Lilith. “Why does he call you Lily?”

  “He calls everyone a nickname. He just met you and I guarantee by the end of this class he’ll be calling you something stupid like ‘Law Bone,’ or something like that. He’s always got to be the clown. He’s always been like that.”

  “What’s he compensating for?”

  “You mean besides the obvious? He’s short, stocky, and no one takes him seriously. He’s always been the clown. It’s pretty much all he has. So he plays the role.”

  “And you’re stuck with him,” I said. I hadn’t meant for it to come out sounding so awful, but it did and then it was too late to take it back, so I just let it hang out there.

  “Yes,” said Lilith. She rolled off the foam roller and sat down next to me again. “What are you doing now?”

  I checked the clock. “Starting to think about getting some food. It’s almost time for dinner, isn’t it?”

  “I’m starving,” she said then. “Want to get something to eat?”

  “What’d you have in mind?”

  “There’s a place around the corner that does a great steak.”

  That got my attention. I needed to replenish and a steak dinner sounded pretty damned good. At the same time, I was aware that Manny might not be crazy about me having dinner with his wife. “You sure that’s such a good idea?”

  She frowned. “He won’t care. He only cares about poring through the real estate listings.”

  “Is that what he does?”

  “He works for Heller Financial. He’s a vice president.”

  She said it like the title was supposed to be impressive, but Heller Financial was one of those mutual fund companies that was so big they must have had a hundred thousand vice presidents in their ranks. It was probably like being a regional supervisor at McDonald’s. It sounded impressive if you didn’t know any better, but it really wasn’t. And I knew that if Heller ever had to do layoffs, the ranks of vice presidents would be the first to get the axe.

  “Let me get a little cleaned up,” I said. “But yeah. Okay.”

  Lilith’s face lit up. “I’m going to hit the shower and I’ll meet you in the parking lot in fifteen.”

  I glanced at the clock again. “Sure.”

  I got up and put the foam roller away. The class was picking out weight for their thrusters. In my peripheral vision, I saw Lilith walk over to Manny and they had a quick conversation. Manny just nodded and immediately turned back to someone else he was talking to. I heard his laughter and it sounded forced, like he was trying too hard to be funny.

  I showered quickly, grateful I’d brought a change of clothes with me here instead of having to go into a restaurant in shorts and a sweaty T-shirt. Because there’s no way I would have.

  I ran a comb through my hair and looked myself over. I smirked. Going out to dinner with a married woman wasn’t exactly what I’d thought tonight was going to hold, but I needed to eat and I never turned down the opportunity to dine with a friendly woman.

  And Talya wouldn’t
care, anyway. Especially if she saw Lilith. But either way, we had an understanding. I had no doubt that Talya occasionally indulged when she needed to; with us it was almost an operational imperative. There were times when a good solid fuck was exactly what you needed when you were in the field. Nothing else had the therapeutic value as a good romp when the stress was high and things looked bleak. I didn’t begrudge her indulging it and I certainly wasn’t jealous about it. And she was the same way about me. We wouldn’t have worked for as long as we had without giving each other that freedom.

  For people outside of our profession, it probably didn’t make any sense. If others knew what our relationship was like, they would have judged us with some narrow-minded holier-than-thou attitude before they went back to their own miserable existence where they craved the same freedom they had just judged so harshly. Hey, it wasn’t my fault I had a cool girlfriend and hadn’t settled for some mediocre loser because I thought I couldn’t do any better.

  Hell, after all, is an artificial construct that most people impose on themselves. It’s not in the afterlife, it’s in the here and now when people subject themselves to seeking the approval of others, limit their dreams because they don’t want to be seen failing at something their friends would never have the guts to even try, and generally lead a fairly boring life.

  I had the advantage, if you could call it that, because I’d been so close to death so many times that I no longer gave a damn what people thought about me or what I did. And once you reach that point, you achieve a whole new level of freedom.

  I stepped into the dark blue jeans and pulled on the mock black turtleneck. I ran the comb through my hair one more time, and then sat down on the bench an slid on my socks and boots. My sweaty gear went into my bag and then I zipped it up, grabbed my coat and walked outside.

  Lilith had cleaned up nicely. She stood by the door dressed in jeans, boots, and a sweater. As I approached, she smiled and her eyes twinkled. She had great eyes, I had to give her that. “I’m starving,” she said.

  I nodded. “Tell me about it. Every time I do Fran, I feel like I’ve just run a marathon. Even though the damned workout only takes a few minutes, it burns me out entirely.”

  Manny jogged over. He was a big bag of sweaty mess. “So I’ll see you later.”

  Lilith nodded. “Bye.”

  I looked at him. “How’d you do on Fran?”

  He looked pleased with himself. “Got it done in seven minutes.”

  I was guessing that was good for him, which was cool. The thing I liked about CrossFit was how individual it was; everyone was going to get something different out of the workouts. Depending on your fitness level and how much you pushed yourself, there was always something there to come away with.

  “Nice work.”

  “Thanks. Have a good dinner.” Manny turned and went walking back toward a group of high school girls who had camped out on the turf we did plate pushes on.

  So I guess he was fine with me going out to dinner with his wife then. I looked back at Lilith. “You ready to go?”

  “Definitely.”

  We walked outside into the cold February night. The sky overhead had cleared since earlier. The brightness of the city obscured any chance of seeing the stars, but I knew they were there. I’d see plenty of them when I got home to Medfield later.

  I brushed a layer of snow off of my car and noticed that Lilith had parked her car next to mine. She started her engine and then got out to brush hers off.

  “Are we taking two cars?” I asked.

  “Probably should,” she said. “That way we can leave right from the restaurant. I don’t want to keep you out all night.”

  “At least not right away,” I said with a laugh.

  She laughed too. “Exactly.”

  I finished brushing my car off and went to help with hers. The snow was light and fell away from the car easily. When I was done, I looked at her. “So where is this place?”

  “About a mile away. Do you want to follow me? I know the quickest way to get there.”

  I glanced at my watch. “You sure we’ll get a table? It’s the height of the dinner rush.”

  She nodded. “That won’t be a problem. I’ve been there many times in the past and they know me pretty well.”

  “All right.” I threw the brush back into my car. “Lead on.”

  Lilith got into her car and I watched her slide out of the space easily. Then I reversed my car, swung it around, and followed her out.

  19

  We pulled into a nondescript parking lot tucked tightly between two brownstones in the South End. Lilith got out of her car and waited for me to do the same. Then we walked in together, Lilith already drawing much closer to me than I’d expected.

  The interior of the restaurant was subtly chic, but not so upscale that my outfit would draw disapproving looks. The banquets were all sculpted leather backs with smaller tables meant for hushed conversation. I found Lilith’s choice of restaurants intriguing, to say the least. Especially considering she’d only just left her husband behind at the box.

  The Maitre’D showed us to a table in the back away from all of the other diners. Clearly, he knew Lilith, although they didn’t say very much to each other. She tucked a bill into his hand and he bowed his head slightly with a word of thanks before vanishing again.

  I slid into the table and Lilith left just enough room between us for a slip of paper. I glanced at the wine menu, but wasn’t really feeling it tonight. When the waiter showed up, I ordered a water and Lilith did the same.

  “No sense countering that great workout, is there?”

  I smiled. “Get me on a Friday or a Saturday, though, and you’d be hard-pressed to outdrink me.”

  “Is that a challenge?” Her eyes sparkled. “Because I might make you regret that.”

  I laughed. She was easy to talk to. And I liked that. “I don’t think there’s any ‘might’ about it. You’d probably drink me under the table.”

  Lilith perused the menu and I did the same. “You said the meat here was amazing?”

  She nodded. “The prime rib is something else.”

  When the waiter returned, I ordered the prime rib, medium rare, with garlic mashed potatoes. Lilith ordered the prime rib with a salad. When the waiter left, she nudged me. “No Paleo diet for you?”

  “What-you mean the potatoes?” I shrugged. “I don’t see the need to cut them out of my life completely. Besides, I’m a sucker for a good serving of garlic mashed.”

  “I wish I could eat carbs the way you do.” She frowned. “It would go right to my hips if I did, though.”

  “Not necessarily a bad thing. A good set of hips on a woman is very attractive.”

  “To you or to men in general?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Maybe.”

  “To me then,” I said.

  Lilith smiled at me. “You don’t sugarcoat anything, do you?”

  “Only if I need to in order to get my job done. Otherwise, what you see is what you get. What you ask gets answered. I don’t like games and verbal hopscotch. It confuses things. I’d rather people were upfront with each other. Say what you mean.”

  “Does that go for everyone in your life?”

  “Like I said, unless I have to soft-shoe something, you pretty much get me unfiltered and up front. If you can’t handle it, it’s not my problem. That said, I’m not an asshole or anything, even though a lot of people would probably say that.”

  “Why would they say it?”

  “Because they have fragile constitutions that can’t take real honesty. The majority of people construct an artificial reality that they then convince themselves is real happiness. I hate that sort of shit. If you’ve got a dream, go chase it down. Achieve something worthwhile in your life or you’ll be a few lines in a newspaper some day, and forgotten about a week later.”

  Lilith nodded and sipped her water. “Maybe people feel safer being the way they are.”

 
“Probably so. But I’d rather risk it all for true happiness than stay safe for boredom and an unremarkable life.”

  “And what have you done to make your own life remarkable, Lawson?”

  I smiled. I clearly couldn’t tell her what I was. “Oh, you know, this and that.”

  She laughed. “A minute ago you were talking about how upfront and unfiltered you were and I ask a simple question and get that as a response?”

  “I said unless it had to do with my job.”

  “And that question would compromise your job?”

  “Possibly.”

  She narrowed her eyes and tried peering into mine as if she was going to unearth the truth. After a moment of me staring right back into hers, she pulled back some. “I’ll say it again, you’re James Bond intense.”

  “Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side,” said Lilith. “I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t survive if I did.”

  “Only if you’re a bad person,” I said. “But even those who have done me wrong in the past still have a second chance if they want to take it. All they have to do is make an effort to right the wrongs. Meet me halfway. That sort of thing.”

  “Has anyone ever done that?”

  “One or two,” I said. “It’s probably one of the most difficult things for anyone to do over the course of their life: admit they were wrong.”

  “Are you ever wrong?”

  “Frequently. But I just chalk it up as experience and move on.”

  “And have you ever hurt anyone else? Anyone you didn’t mean to hurt?”

  I frowned. “I don’t tolerate disrespect, so if someone treats me like shit, then odds are good they’re going to get schooled on why they should not fuck with me. That’s not false bravado; I’m very capable of backing up what I say with what I do.” I paused. “But there have been times I responded to a certain situation and wished I could go back and rewrite history, so to speak. There were people I was fond of - in some cases very fond of - who are no longer in my life and I miss them. But that’s the way things shake out every now and again. If I didn’t take a stand, their toxic behavior would still be infecting me.”