Emily frowned as she held one of the twins, swaying as she cuddled the baby. She started to say something before Brad gave her a meaningful look and said, “Don’t, Emily.”
“Well, maybe he needs to hear it,” she said, not listening to her husband.
Brad, now back in jeans and a plaid shirt, put his hands on his hips. “Emily, this isn’t the time.” His tone was filled with warning.
“No, Brad, I’m sorry. Everyone is tiptoeing around Neil except Rodney, who is absolutely right. Neil, you should be with Candy. She didn’t want you to leave. She’s devastated―”
“Emily, that’s enough!” Brad started toward his wife.
“No, Brad, it’s not enough, and he’s going to hear this!”
“Hear what, Emily? What are you talking about?” Neil snapped.
“Candy believes you blame her for what happened, as if any of that is her fault! Being pregnant is different for every woman. Our bodies are raging with hormones, changing, and what’s normal for one woman isn’t the same for another. How was she to know? She hadn’t even seen a doctor yet, just found out she was pregnant with one of those home pregnancy tests; so how could you expect her to know something was wrong, with the amount of stress she was under? Neil, she believes you don’t want her anymore, that you don’t want to marry her because finding a woman to give you children is more important. I tried to tell her she was wrong, that when she gets out of the hospital you could still get married…” Emily stopped talking and stared at him. The confusion in her face turned into realization. “Oh my God, she’s right.”
He couldn’t say anything. He loved Candy, but he needed to think, because he too had suffered a loss. Didn’t they get that? “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you, Emily? She was spotting before the wedding, and she said nothing to anyone. She had symptoms, and I bet she told everyone she was fine,” he snapped.
Brad jerked his gaze at Neil. “You watch how you talk to my wife,” he said, voice full of warning.
“Oh, come on, Neil. I probably would have done the same thing in her shoes,” Emily said. Brad blinked and glanced at his wife as she continued. “No, Neil, I don’t have anything figured out. The only thing I do know is that there’s a young woman who feels as if the entire world has abandoned her. You were her world, and she said you wouldn’t even touch her. To suffer the kind of loss she did would tear me apart, especially when you can look back and see the signs you missed. But to have the one person she believed would always be there make her feel worse and then walk away? I don’t think I could be as strong as she is right now. I don’t know what to do for her, but I won’t leave her alone.” Emily turned to Brad and handed him Andy’s baby. “I’m going back to the hospital,” she said just as the steps creaked and Diana came back down.
“I’ll go with you, Emily,” Diana said, snuggling Christopher and then handing him to Jed. “Just let me pump some milk.” She started for the back door, where a diaper bag was hanging, and pulled out a breast pump.
“Diana, you have a baby to nurse. You can’t be taking off to the hospital,” Jed said, holding his baby in one arm as he stalked toward his wife.
“You’ll be just fine without me. So will Christopher. I’ll leave you some milk in a bottle. You’ll just need to heat it up.”
Jed was in the kitchen now, obviously not happy, but Neil couldn’t make out what he was saying to his wife. Apparently, she wasn’t listening. Brad also appeared on edge and frustrated with Emily, and he slid his hand around her arm, uttering something in a low voice. He wasn’t happy, and it was clear his caveman side was coming out as he tried telling Emily how it was going to be, but she wasn’t listening. What she did do was slip on her coat, pat his arm, and take his truck keys from the hook. In less than ten minutes, Emily and Diana were driving Brad’s truck down the driveway to be with Candy.
Chapter 26
Neil shoved the pitchfork into the manure and shavings in the corner of the stall, dumping it into the wheelbarrow behind him. He swept the rest into the corner and scooped up more until the wheelbarrow was heaped. When he set the rake against the wall and hefted the wheelbarrow to steer it out of the stall, he caught Andy leaning against the door, watching him.
“Something on your mind, Andy?” he snapped. “Maybe want to finish off where Emily left? I’m sure there’s a piece of my hide still intact enough for you to have a go at it.” He was being a first-class prick and he knew it, but it was the only way he could be right now. He wanted space, and it was pissing him off that no one would give him the room he needed to figure things out.
Andy didn’t move, but he did hold out a beer. “Just thought you might like a beer, is all. There’s enough liquor inside that Emily and Brad couldn’t begin to make a dent in it, or it would turn them into alcoholics. Don’t think it would be good for the kids.”
Neil hesitated before yanking off the work gloves he’d found in the tack room of the barn. He accepted the beer, took a swig, and let out a sigh. “Thank you.”
Andy took a long swallow from the bottle but remained silent.
“So, do you plan on giving me a piece of your mind, telling me what an asshole I’m being and how I abandoned Candy when she needed me most?” Neil said.
Andy said nothing, just watched him with a heavy-lidded gaze and the best poker face Neil had ever seen.
“I didn’t really mean what I said to her, but I can’t understand how she didn’t tell me she wasn’t feeling well. She hides everything from me to the point that I have to figure it out. I don’t know what the hell was going through her head. Who gives a shit who’s going to be inconvenienced? I would have rather sat in a doctor’s office and postpone the wedding. She has always been the most pig-headed, stubborn woman. I don’t think I can keep doing this with her,” he said, not realizing what he was deciding until he had put it into words and spoken it out loud.
He watched Andy for his reaction. He knew Brad and Jed would most likely have grabbed his shirtfront, slammed him against the barn wall, and done their best to talk some sense into him. Andy, though, didn’t move. He took another swig of beer and glanced away as if gathering his thoughts.
“It’s your life, Neil. Only you can make yourself happy. I can’t tell you how to think, how to feel. I’m not your judge,” Andy said, watching him.
Neil took another long swallow of beer. “Good. Thank you.”
Andy nodded, watched Neil, and said, “The women are about ready to skin you alive, though, including your mother. It may be safer to stay out here for a bit.”
“So why are you being so understanding? Why aren’t you like everyone else, trying to make me do the right thing? I mean, after all, aren’t you the king of doing the right things?”
Andy offered a dry smile that wasn’t amused. “I wouldn’t know what the right thing is, Neil. I’m just like everyone else, trying to figure things out. Do you know what the right thing is for you and Candy?” Andy glanced away again as if to release the tension between them.
“No, not a clue. I just know I can’t be there for her, the way I’m feeling. I’ll hurt her more by what I’d like to say.”
Andy just nodded. “Well, that’s honest. You should know that Emily and Diana, even Brad and Jed, don’t plan on letting you abandon her in the hospital. They’ll look out for her if you need to take off. She’ll be okay.”
Neil shook his head. “That would make me quite the asshole, wouldn’t it?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“In some eyes, I suppose,” Andy said.
“You’ve been mighty cryptic there, cos. Tell me about you and Laura. What are you doing now, since you spread your mighty wings and are no longer under your mother’s thumb?”
Andy shot him a warning glance, worked his jaw, and finished off his beer. “I’m thinking of moving my family, Laura and the kids, out of the area. Head up to Montana, make a new start of things.”
“Wow, seriously?” Neil studied his cousin and realized there was somethi
ng more in the wind than Andy had shared. He knew something had happened, and Caroline must have pulled something pretty bad on Andy and Laura for him to move her and the children from the Friessen mansion. He just didn’t know what it was, and with everything else going on, he had never asked. “You just bought a place, a small acreage, I heard. I never asked what happened to force your hand.”
“Not the time, Neil. You’ve got a lot on your own plate, but sometimes family can be so poisonous and bad for you that it’s best to cut ties and move away. No, Caroline always was a snake. Just never realized how dangerous she is, too. I’ll make sure she never comes near my wife, my babies, even Gabriel.” Andy swung his empty bottle between his fingers. “Besides, watching you and your family, Brad, Jed, Uncle Rodney, you’d never screw one of your own. I don’t want my kids growing up with that. I think it’s time to start a new era, scrape out a piece in another state where my family has no reach.”
Now he knew what it was about Andy that was different. He hadn’t been able to put his finger on it earlier. “I’m proud of you, Andy, for putting Laura and the kids first, walking away from everything your family has, the power, the wealth. In some ways, you’re a lot like Jed. Hope it works out for you.”
“So what are you going to do about Candy?” Andy asked.
“I don’t know. With Candy, everything I did was with the intention of giving her a better life, showing her how much I love her. The problem is that I’ve always wanted her because she wouldn’t give me the time of day. Do I love her enough to stay with her even if we have no children?”
“You can adopt, you know. I love Gabriel as if he were my own.”
“Maybe you’re a better man than I am, because I don’t know if I could.” Neil spat on the manure piled in the wheelbarrow. “Any more beer?”
Andy reached behind him and slid a box of a dozen over. He pulled out another, twisted off the top, and passed it to Neil. “Plenty. Kind of figured this is what you needed.” Andy reached for another for himself, tipping his bottle forward to clink it with Neil’s. “To the women we love and the hell they put us through.”
Neil didn’t say anything. As he watched his cousin drink, he wondered where he and Candy could fit in, whether it would even be possible for them to find a spot together with the rest of the Friessen men and the women they loved.
Chapter 27
When Candy opened her eyes, the nurse was changing her IV bag, and she spotted Emily and Diana sitting in two chairs beside the bed. She lifted her head when a tiny thrill shot through her at the thought that maybe Neil was there too, but her heart sank as she dropped her head back on the pillow. He wasn’t.
“Hey, you. How’re you feeling?” Diana asked as she reached forward and touched Candy’s leg.
“I’m stiff. I need to move,” she said, her throat scratchy and dry. “Could I have some water?” She glanced at the nurse.
“Let’s get you sitting up a bit, and we’ll get you on your back. We need to get you up and walking, too.” The nurse pushed the button on the bed until it moved up and she was almost sitting. Candy slid around onto her back, but when the nurse tried to take the pillow Candy held to her belly, she held tight.
“Please, I need the pillow,” she said.
The nurse just nodded and walked away, and Diana moved the rail down on the bed. She perched on the edge, her vibrant red hair tied back into a ponytail.
“I ache,” Candy muttered just as the nurse walked back in, carrying a tray and setting it on the table. Diana stepped back, giving the nurse room to slide it over to Candy.
“I’ll get you something for the pain. It’s been a while since your last shot, and you’re probably due. Here’s some broth for you to sip, too. That’s all you get after surgery. I’ll be right back.” The nurse slipped away again.
Candy reached for the cup of water, her hand trembling.
“Here, let me get it for you.” Diana reached for the cup and held the straw to Candy’s lips.
She took a sip and stopped when she felt a pull deep inside her, where she’d been ripped apart in surgery, where they had taken out her womb and ovaries and left her barren. She waved the cup away and leaned back, and Diana started fussing, plumping her pillow, smoothing the covers, and lifting the lid on the bowl of soup just as the nurse walked back in.
“Eat what you can, honey. You need your strength,” the nurse said. She injected something into Candy’s IV bag and then left again.
Diana put a spoon in the bowl and then set a napkin on Candy’s chest, tucking it into the top of her hospital gown.
“You’re not going to feed me too, are you?” Candy asked.
Diana smiled down at her as she edged closer. “Only if you need me to.”
“You may as well let her,” Emily muttered. “It would make her happy, having someone to mother.”
Candy allowed Diana to spoon some of the broth into her mouth. She choked and then coughed. “Oh, that hurts.” She pressed the pillow to her abdomen.
Diana slid the table away. “Let’s get you sitting up a little more,” she said, moving the bed a little higher and then sliding the table back. This time, Candy took the spoon and tried a smaller mouthful of the extremely awful, bland broth.
“This is disgusting,” she said.
“I’ll bring you something from home tomorrow―” Emily started.
“You mean if Brad lets you come tomorrow. I thought he was going to order you upstairs,” Diana said.
“He just didn’t want to have to look after the kids, but it wasn’t as if he had to cook anything. There’s enough food left behind from the caterer that I don’t know what we’ll do with all of it.”
“I’m sorry to have caused any trouble,” Candy said. She worried about the commotion, with everything back at Emily and Brad’s and all the family still there. There was nothing she could do.
“Oh, stop it. You’ve apologized enough,” Diana said, sitting at the foot of the bed. “None of this was your fault. Everyone should be apologizing to you, if that would make you feel better, but it won’t help, because what happened was out of your control. You didn’t plan this.”
“I don’t know. I should have said something, and I didn’t. Neil blames me.” She sighed and pushed away the tray. “I guess it’s good that it happened when it did, before we were married. This way is easier. Less messy.”
Both women exchanged a look, their expressions grim. “It’s not good that it happened at all, Candy, but it happened just the same, and you and Neil will move past this. You’ll be fine, you’ll get married, and…”
“We won’t have children,” Candy said, interrupting Diana.
“Candy, you can adopt. There are so many children who need the good home that you and Neil could give them.” Emily didn’t get up, but she leaned forward, trying to get her point across.
“Adopting isn’t as easy as you think, Emily,” Candy said. “Besides, maybe I’m not cut out to be a mother. Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me that. I mean, let’s face it, I was scared around your children, terrified you’d ask me to hold your baby, Diana. Besides, Neil can’t stand to be in the same room with me. He’s probably trying to figure out a way to break it off with me. He wants children. Have you seen him with yours? You didn’t see the starry-eyed look he had when he found out I was pregnant. I could tell he’d already made plans for the baby, a name, which little league team the kid would play on—Neil would have coached it, too.”
“Come on, Candy. That’s not fair. Neil loves you. I may want to have words with him and tell him what a lout he is for deserting you now, but he’s hurting, too. He’s not okay. He’s not okay at all,” Emily said.
“Maybe so, but you and I both know the kind of circles Neil moves in. He’d be better off with someone comfortable with that kind of power, with the schmoozing. He needs a polished princess who wants to stay home and give him a dozen babies, but that’s not me. Let’s be realistic—I don’t belong in his world.” She turn
ed her head away. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She could feel a warmth running through her body as the pain medication took effect. Her eyelids felt heavy, and as she blinked and turned her head, watching two women she barely knew who were determined to sit vigil with her; Candy suddenly mourned the loss of her two new sisters, a loss that added to the ache of losing Neil.
Chapter 28
“Wake up!” a deep voice boomed, and Neil pressed his hands to his throbbing temples.
A foot kicked his leg, and he immediately felt the straw bale poking into his back. He sat up, his head feeling as if it were a football someone had kicked around. He rested his head in his hand and took a whiff of stale beer mixed with manure. He was still in the barn, and a horse blanket had been tossed over him. Neil blinked, and there was his big brother Brad glowering down on him.
“Did you solve anything by getting shitfaced?” he asked.
Neil blinked and rested his elbows on his knees as he sat up. He looked around for Andy but didn’t see him, though he did spot the empty bottle of whiskey they’d also shared.
“What do you want, Brad?” he groaned.
“I want you to get up and go take care of your woman so Jed and I can get ours back,” Brad snapped.
Neil leaned back against the barn wall. “They didn’t come home last night?”
“Diana popped in for an hour to pump some more milk. She and Jed got into it pretty good. Dad and Mom had to drive Laura, the kids, and Andy back to the hotel, as Andy was pretty wasted. Mom’s not impressed, by the way.”
“Well, you know what? I have no control over anything Diana and Emily do. They’re your wives. You deal with them,” Neil said, and before his brain could even absorb what a stupid remark he had made, Brad had grabbed him by the shirtfront and yanked him up.
The Wedding Page 10
