by Vicki Green
I miss his touch the second he pulls back his hand. He begins rubbing the back of his neck, looking so tired. I feel bad he had to go through this alone. “Yeah. Gonna have a lot of healin’ to do but Manuel’s gonna be okay.” He reaches down and picks up his cup. I watch as his lips encase the top, how his Adams apple moves up and down as he swallows. I don’t think I realized just how sexy he is until right this second. Sure, I knew he was good looking, even has muscles on top of muscles, but I’ve been so preoccupied with trying not to fall over my own two feet or stutter like a stupid crazy woman when I’m around him that I haven’t really gotten to study him. Especially up close. He’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen plenty. I look back down at my cup, feeling awkward.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” I whisper.
“I did but I didn’t. It was so nice of you and Prie to be here last night.” I look up and smile. “I can’t believe you stayed here all night,” he says in astonishment. “Aren’t you needed at the shop?” Does he want me to leave? I’ve overstayed. “Uh, not that I want you to leave.” He smiles, and my heart melts. He always knows just the right thing to say at the most perfect time.
“Well, I should probably be heading there soon but I wanted to make sure you were okay.” His eyes widen. “I mean that everything was okay. Uh – that your friend is okay.” Oh, my God! Shut up! “But the new girl is starting today so Sadie will be training her and Prie is helping out until I get there.” Dang, way to just put it out there, Tina. Why is it so hard for me to talk to him? Maybe because he’s the hottest man on earth and one look from him and your insides erupt into flames, melting your panties instantly? Yeah, that could be it. Tilting his head, he gives me a mischievous smile. “What?” I ask, my mouth turning up into my own smile.
“So, a new girl is startin’.” Why is he repeating me? Did he not hear what I just said? “She’s bein’ trained.” Oh, my God! Maybe he’s partially deaf! His eyebrows raise high, his smile broadening. “So – once she’s fully trained, you’ll have more time to do things away from the shop.” He starts nodding, and I find myself nodding too.
Oh.
Oh!
I’m such an idiot sometimes. “Yes!” I shout, looking around quickly. “I mean – I hope soon.” I stop and think, which mostly gets me into trouble. “But won’t you have to look after your friend?” He scrunches up his face in the cutest way. By cutest I mean manly. Totally.
“Yeah, I guess I’ll need to stay around the house quite a bit more. But....” I feel like I’m hanging on the edge of my seat when I let out the biggest yawn of my life. I smack my mouth with my hand, covering it, but when I look at Nash – he’s laughing. He leans forward, laying his arms down on the table, still smiling. “You know – I think this is the first full conversation we’ve ever had.” My mouth turns up behind my hand. “I think one of my guys can keep an eye on him so I can take you out one night.” Thank God!
I slowly lower my hand, my smile still plastered on my face. “Well, that would be very nice of them.”
His brows lower as he looks down, seriousness overtakes his handsome face. “’Course, it might be a while before I feel like I can leave him.” I lose my smile quickly. “He’s like a pa to me. Manuel doesn’t have any other family, just me and the guys. He was there for me when....” I reach out and place my hand on his. I watch him swallow, sadness overshadowing what was a happier moment.
“You don’t have to explain, Nash.” I wrap my fingers around his hand and squeeze, only to feel his fingers push through mine. Who knew a country man would be so romantic and gentle? A cowboy. Oh, my God! I watch way too much TV! “We have all the time in the world, but I’m sure it won’t be too long before we can have some time together.” I hope.
“We’ll make the time. Soon. I promise.”
My heart soars with his words. I’m nervous yet excited for the time we can actually go out on a date but sitting here with him now, knowing I haven’t stumbled over my words and could hold a conversation with him gives me hope and the courage I’ll need. I think.
We sit here for a while longer. I asked him to tell me about his friend Manuel. He animatedly talked about growing up with Manuel working for his dad, how he became a second father to him when his dad passed away. He went on to tell me about his dad’s business and how he sold it then moved out here and everything that entailed. By the time he stops talking, I’m in awe of him. I can’t imagine going through all that and not being scared in some way. He’s so strong, physically and mentally. He stops quickly and looks around. “Dang. I’ve been spillin’ my guts, and I’m sure you need to get to the shop. I feel bad that I’ve monopolized the conversation. I’m sorry.” I’d been leaning my chin on my hand, spellbound by his words, his southern accent, the scruff on his jaw moving as he spoke, and those green eyes.
The shop!
“Oh, yeah. I guess I should be going.” Prie is gonna kill me. Pushing my chair back, I begin to stand. He catches me off guard when he stands abruptly, strides around the table, and takes my hand, helping me up. “Oh. Thank you.” He smiles.
“My pleasure.” Such a gentleman.
He slides his fingers through mine as we walk through the cafeteria. Warm. Soft. I’m thinking how soft his skin is for someone who works so hard on a ranch, when his voice filters into my mind. “I hope Prie isn’t mad at you for takin’ so long.” Such a good friend and so caring, not wanting Prie to be mad at me.
I wave him off. “No. I’m sure it’s fine.” He looks over at me and smiles as we walk out of the cafeteria and begin the trek in the maze of the hospital halls. “If you need to get back, I can find my way out,” I tell him, looking at the signs on the walls that will guide me to the parking lot. I get why hospitals have to be so big but heavens! They should clearly have someone guiding people around here so they don’t get lost. I mean – think about older people trying to visit a loved one and not being able to find their way out.
“No. No. These places have a way of makin’ people get lost and not able to find their way out.” I raise my brows when I look at him. He squeezes my hand as we round another corner. “Seriously, I don’t know how anyone finds anythin’ around here.” I feel my lips turn up into a smile as I notice natural light up ahead. Turning another corner, I see through the large windows at the end of the hall. The parking lot. Thank goodness! Although, I’ve been enjoying his company too much to really care if we’d ever find our way out. My heart plummets not knowing when I’ll see him again as we reach the exit doors. I turn around and face him, trying to keep a smile.
“Thank you for walking me out.” Again, I’m at a loss for words. He takes a step towards me, then another. His lips are warm as he leans in and kisses my forehead.
“I know you don’t have far to go but be safe, okay?” I nod and look up into his gorgeous eyes. I tilt my head, studying him, and see the sadness cover his face.
“Please keep me updated about Manuel, will you?”
He nods, not able to talk either. Finally, I start to turn when he pulls on my hand. “I would be right honored if you’d give me your phone number.” My heart skips a beat, and I smile. The way these southern cowboys talk melts my panties right off. Reaching into my front pocket with my free hand, I pull out my phone and swipe the screen with my thumb.
“Give me your number.” I smile. He tells me and I put it in my contacts then quickly send him a text. “There. Now you have my number and I – yours.” I’m feeling rather proud of myself that I could do that while our other hands are still locked together and not drop my phone. Maybe I’m getting used to being around him a little more. Alone.
“Great. Thank ya.” He doesn’t take his eyes from mine.
“Well – I – I guess I should get to the shop,” I stammer, taking a step backwards. The sliding doors open behind me as I take another step.
> “Yeah, I guess you should,” he says, still holding my hand tightly.
We both reach out as I continue to walk backwards, our arms stretching until we finally have to unclasp our hands. I smile, knowing it’s probably a sad one, and start to turn around. He reaches up and gives me a small wave, his smile gone. I wave back and turn around quickly to head to my car, not able to stand seeing him standing in the doorway looking so alone and sad. By the time I reach my car, push on the key fob to unlock the doors, and slide into the driver’s seat, I feel the wetness of a tear slide down my face. I feel bad leaving him there, with no one to talk to. It’s hard hurting for someone and then be alone in your misery, worrying about them. All in a hospital that smells of peroxide and alcohol, with stark white walls and floors. No character, no warmth. Alone. All of a sudden an idea hits me, and I make a mental note to talk to Prie. To put my idea in motion will still be a while, but I feel better knowing I will see him again soon and somewhat help him in his time of need.
I drive to the shop feeling a little better and park in the lot behind the store. Taking out a hair tie from my pocket, I grab my unruly long hair and quickly pull it into a high ponytail then fasten it into a bun. People are just going to have to take me as I am today. I pull down the visor and look in the mirror. God! I look horrible! Slight bags under my eyes from little sleep last night and my makeup is all but gone. Shit! Nash saw me this way! Leaning back in the seat, I think about how he touched my hand, held it, and the way he looked at me. He didn’t seem to care that I look like I slept in a chair in the waiting room last night. He looked at me like I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. Reverently. “Huh.” I let out a breath. I look down and open the arm rest compartment and take out the blush that I keep there. Quickly, I open it and look back into the mirror, applying it evenly then rub it in with my fingers. Next, I replace the blush compact with mascara and dab some on my lashes. There. At least I don’t look like death warmed over. Mostly.
I walk into the side door of the shop and over to my small locker, putting my keys in there and grabbing a clean apron off the shelf. Walking through the back room, I walk into the small bathroom, grab my spare toothbrush and paste, brushing my teeth in haste. At least I feel a little more human. Once done, I walk out into the room, stopping in the doorway to the shop and look around. Not too crowded. I look over at the clock behind the counter and notice it’s ten fifteen. I had no idea of the time. I guess the morning crowd has already passed, and it’s time to gear up for the lunch crowd. I smooth my hands down the front of the apron as I see the new girl Loren with Sadie behind the counter. She’s short, with blonde hair tied up in a high ponytail, big bright blue eyes, and what looks like a killer body. Great. I let out a loud cough as I walk into the shop. Sadie stops talking immediately and smiles as she walks over to me. I’m enveloped in a hug so tight I can barely breathe. Not a good sign.
“Tina. I’m so glad you’re back.” Definitely not a good sign.
I smile anyway and hug her back in her vise grip. Finally she releases me but keeps an arm around my waist. “Tina. This is Loren Michaels. Loren, this is Tina. I told you about her.” The short beauty queen walks over to me, her hand outstretched.
“Tina. So good to meet you. Thank you for this opportunity.” I reach out and shake her hand. “I love it here!” Too bubbly. “I’ve learned so much already.” She looks around the shop then back at me, her smile showing her perfect and very bright white teeth. I hate her already. “I’m sure we’ll be lifelong friends!” Uh no!
I smile, at least I think I do. “Nice to meet you, Loren. I have to....” I turn and give Sadie an “Oh, my God” look, which is pretty much what I’m saying internally, and start heading toward the back room. “I’m gonna start making sandwiches for the lunch crowd.” I wave my hand behind me in the air. “Carry on.”
I hear Sadie as I enter the room. “Take care of any customers that come in and you can clean up behind the counter while waiting. I’ll just....”
I walk straight over to the industrial refrigerator and start taking out all the ingredients for the sandwiches, smiling to myself. By the time I set everything on the large steel counter, I hear the ding of the ovens and turn around, grab the oven mitts and take out the fresh bread loaves that Sadie or Prie must have put in earlier.
“She really is a hard worker.” I hear Sadie say behind me.
I turn and place the large sheets of bread down on the counter and look over at her. She’s leaning against the doorway staring at me. “How’s the twins?” I ask as I remove the oven mitts and take the large serrated knife from the holder block, changing the subject. I start cutting through the side of the first loaf.
“They’re great – thank you.” Sadie’s response sounds hesitant.
I look up quickly then back down as I start cutting through the second loaf. “That’s great. What time did Prie leave? I’m so thankful she was able to come help out.”
“She left about a half an hour ago.” Sadie’s voice sounds louder. I look up and see her standing on the other side of the table. “It was nice of her to help out. So....”
Grabbing two plastic gloves from the box, I slide my fingers into them and place one of the half loaves on the cutting board in front of me, piling sandwich meats and special sauce on it. “So?” I keep making sandwiches, doing my best to ignore what’s about to hit me.
“So, how’s Nash?” Her sing-song voice is all telling.
Cutting through the end of each sandwich, I continue to make more. “Oh, he’s good. It was kinda hard to leave him but I knew I needed to get back here to help.” I shrug like it’s nothing. It’s everything.
“You could have stayed.” I shrug again. “Loren has learned very quickly. She’ll be a great asset.” Great. Silence. I look up and see her smiling. “So, Nash, huh?” I look back down and start slicing the other half of the loaf and start covering the open sandwiches then put each one on a small plate from the stack.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say as nonchalantly as I can.
“Tina.” I stop and look up. “As long as you’ve been here, and as long as I’ve known you, you never talk about guys or go out on a date. You like him.” I shrug yet again, which seems to be the next annoying thing I seem to do lately, and continue making sandwiches. “Tina!” I stop again and breathe out a sigh as I look up. “You like him – like him.” My shoulders slump.
“Fine! Yes, I like him. Okay?” Her smiles grows. I decide to give in. Only having Prie know is eating at me. I could use telling my bestie everything. Now I feel bad that I told Prie first but Sadie’s so busy with the twins and having to take care of training too. “He’s....” I stop and think. “He’s gorgeous and a cowboy. His eyes are so green and when he looks at me, I melt. Have you seen his huge shoulders?” She nods quickly, still smiling. “I mean, they’re like large boulders. He’s so strong yet so gentle.” I let out a sigh. “He held my hand and his skin is so much softer than I’d imagined. He’s – he’s sweet and rugged all at the same time.” I blink rapidly. “Well, you probably know what I’m talking about.” I laugh. “I mean, look at Memphis,” I chuckle-snort which makes me cough. “But God! I’ve never gone out with a guy, really. I mean – well, you know.” My body sags with exhaustion as well as nerves. “Sadie. You know I’m not good at this....” I wave my hand around. “I’m so out of my element here.” She walks around the table and puts her arm around my shoulders. I lay my head down against her arm. “Shit! I have no idea what I’m doing.” I let out a heavy sigh.
“What about Johnny Fench?” One of her brows raises high.
I can’t stop the snort that leaves my mouth. “Oh, you mean Johnny, my first love that I had sex with for the first time – well, okay, it wasn’t really sex all the way, and a week later caught him cheating on me with Claire Paulsen under the stadium bleachers?” Her brow lowers quickly. “Or, hey, wh
at about after you telling me “not all guys are like that”, so I decided to give Max Turner a chance and bumped into him with his arm around the very same Claire Paulsen three weeks later at the drive-in?” Now my brows lower. “Okay, we then knew what a man-whore Claire was but....”
She lets out a burst of laughter but then becomes somber. I feel her hand rubbing down my back in a soothing motion. “Tina. You’re a beautiful, young woman, who has so much love to offer. Any man would be lucky to have you.” I let out a sniff. “Nash is a good man. It’s obvious how much he likes you.” I look up, my brows lowering with her confession. She looks down and smiles. “Tina. Sometimes you can be so....” Shallow? Stupid? Idiotic? “Obtuse.” Yep, stupid wins. “I mean, you spent all your time growing up taking care of me, being there for me. I was so shallow back then, never helping you see your true potential.” Huh? I take a step sideways, giving her what I’m sure is a weird look. “Do you know the guys that we went out with wanted you?” Uh, no. She laughs. “No really! You really were blind to it all but believe me, they wanted you.”
I turn around and start making sandwiches again, laughing. “Sadie. You were so drunk or high most of the time.” Another laugh and then a snort escapes me. Suddenly, her hands grip my arms and turn me to face her.
“Who had all the guys around her?”
“You.” I snort again.
“And who could tell if they were good or bad?” I raise my brows high, thinking about that asshole who tried to kill her and Memphis. “Okay, scratch that. Who dated – a lot?”
“Uh, you.” I keep my snorting inside this time but it only made me cough.
