by Vicki Green
I sit here peeing and think about the last day. I remember being at the shop, getting ready to close up. There was only a few people left, finishing up their orders, and I was in the back room sweeping. Then out of nowhere, I felt so tired, like really exhausted – which is really weird for me. By the time the last customers left and I locked up, I felt sweaty and achy. I remember going upstairs, putting on my nightgown and crashing on the bed. I vaguely remember being at the hospital but I do remember Nash helping me drink water once we got here. Thank God for Nash. I mean, if I didn’t have anyone who knows what would have happened. Nash. I’m no expert, by any means, as he’s the first boyfriend I’ve ever really had but he has to be the best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. Not every guy will watch you throw up, handles a snotty tissues, helps you to the bathroom, and carries you around everywhere because you’re too out of it or weak to walk.
I clean up and start to stand, feeling my legs wobble. I feel like a rag doll, one that’s been thrown around one too many times. Holding onto the counter, I manage to take the few steps to the sink. Leaning against the surface, I wash my hands. I feel lightheaded and totally not myself. But my stomach does feel a little bit better.
“Tina? You okay in there?” His voice makes me smile as I pick up the hand towel hanging nearby and dry my hands. There’s strength in his voice, love and caring. “You ready to go back to bed?” Damn, I wish I felt better. I’d definitely be ready to go to bed. Well, I must be feeling a bit better.
“Yes, please,” I say, my voice sounding like Kermit the Frog. Ah! From a mouse to a frog. I’m not so sure that’s an improvement.
The door opens and he walks in, lifting me up into his arms. I lay my head on his large shoulder. Kinda like a pillow. My head was starting to feel so heavy. I let out a sigh. He’s so comfortable. In fact, I feel comfortable being here, being in his arms. Now I feel stupid for being so worried about moving in. This is gonna be great! He lays me on the mattress, pulling the covers up over me. I notice he’s added more logs to the fire in the fireplace. This is like a dream. A fairytale. And I’m the princess. I look up at him and smile. He’s my prince charming.
“Are you hungry at all? Think you can get down some soup? How about some 7Up?” He smiles, and my insides tingle. I nod eagerly, putting on a smile. “Good. I’ll be right back.” He leans down and I close my eyes as he places his hand on my forehead. “Feels like your fever has gone down. Gonna have you take some Ibuprofen too.” He removes his hand and I watch him leave the room. Turning over onto my left side, I look at the fire, and it begins to lull me. My eyes grow heavy.
“Tina?” I’m having such a great dream. Nash and I had just made love. We’re lying together in bed all cuddled together. It seems so real, I can hear his sexy voice. “Darlin’?” Wait! I feel his hand on my forehead. This is no dream. I open my eyes slowly and see the look of worry in his eyes. “There you are,” he says softly, his eyes lighting up. “You really need to get some soup in you. Sorry I had to wake you.” I can smell a delicious aroma as I try to sit up. Of course, he puts his strong hands underneath my arms and lifts me until I’m sitting back against the headboard. Such a gentleman. “Be careful. It’s hot,” he says as he sets a tray over my lap. I feel like a Queen and he’s my royal subject. No! He’s definitely my prince charming. I watch as he walks over, picks up a chair, and brings it over beside the bed and sits down. “Good?” The first bite sent warmth down my raw throat, coating it. The second bite made me hungrier with the wonderful taste. I look up at him and moan. He smiles.
I slurp up the soup until it’s gone then drink the full glass of 7Up. “I think I’m feeling better.” I smile. Although my voice still sounds like I’d been screaming at a rock concert and my throat is still sore.
“Here.” He stands and walks into the bathroom returning with a pan. “I brought up the rest. Just in case.” He pours the rest into my bowl and sits back down in the chair. “Uh. Prie came by earlier.”
“Oh, no! Did you make her leave? Did you tell her I was sick?” Now, I’m worried. If I gave her the flu, since my germs are everywhere, and something happened to her baby, I’d never forgive myself. “Did you tell her to take a ton of vitamin C and drink gallons of fluids?”
“Hold on, darlin’. Calm down.” I find I am breathing really heavy so I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Sadie and the kids have it too.” My eyes widen. “Doc Grayson was headin’ over there so after I told her ‘bout you, she’s askin’ the doctor to come by here. Should be here pretty soon.” He rubs his scruffy jaw with his hand. “Now, after seein’ Prie here, I thought I’d asked the doctor to stop by their place when she leaves here.” I breathe out a sigh. “Thought it wouldn’t hurt for her to be checked out. I’m not so sure who needs more reassurance if she’s okay. Her, me, or you.” He smiles. “I think we’re all a bit worried about Prie and the baby.” I nod. He’s right. Still, that was sweet of Prie to come here to see if I’m okay. “Now. Finish that up and I’ll get ya more juice. Right now, we need to get you well.”
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I was weak as a newborn kitten for a couple of days then slowly I started getting my strength back. The doctor had stopped by and took my temperature, saying it was way down. We found out later that she did go over to Prie’s and not only checked her and the baby but Trevor too. All was fine there but she warned them both to stay at home until the virus had run its course everywhere else. Of course, I wasn’t energetic enough to really pack much of my apartment, especially when I went back to work. Nash kept telling me he’d come over and pack it for me, if that would get me moved in with him sooner. I almost let him too, except within the next week the weather changed. Warmer temperatures were making the grass to start changing colors and the trees were beginning to bud. So, with that, he and his guys, along with doing their regular daily chores, set out to start replacing fences. I told him that was more important and that it would be just another week or so before I’d get everything ready. He didn’t like that too much. Neither did I. But he’s got enough to do without helping me pack up my apartment. It’s not like there’s tons of stuff but things that I need to wrap before packing and that takes more time. The shop has gotten busy again, after such a bad spread of that horrible flu. I guess when living in a small town, you’re liable to get things more easily from everyone. Misty had returned to work and even Pam, a week later we’re busier than we’d been in a long time.
The second week after and I’m almost done packing. Nash is still busy replacing fences, well, because there’s a gazillion surrounding his pastures, plus they can only do them in between regular chores. It’s Wednesday and Nash is planning on bringing over his truck pulling a flatbed trailer behind it on Saturday. His guys are going to follow him over and move me out. Once we unload at his house, then he’ll bring me back over so I can clean the apartment really well. I’m thinking after a while, we can remove the door to the shop, only leaving the entrance from the alley, and rent it out. He thinks we should move all our inventory and files back up there and extend the shop.
“There’s plenty of room behind it,” he said.
“That would take a small fortune, Nash. It’s fine the way it is,” I’d replied. He proceeded to tell me I should always think big and that he’d convince me it would be a great thing to do. We’ll see.
By Friday, I was completely packed. Well, except for the essentials I needed that I could pack in my duffle bag in the morning. Manuel is walking with a cane now with a fresh walking cast on his leg. They’re still working on fences so Nash and I have had very little time together in the last couple of weeks. Between my shop and his working, we’re both exhausted every night. Since I’m beyond excited about moving in with him tomorrow, I’m full of energy. With the universe still against us and still not having any time to go out on an “official” date, I decide to use the shop’s ovens and make dinner. I’m starting to get us
ed to going over and surprising him. It doesn’t even make me stumble or stutter to be welcomed by all his men anymore.
By the time I’m driving over, I’m anxious. Maybe I’ll just spend the night. Since Misty and Pam are taking care of the shop tomorrow, I can get some quality time in with Nash before the big move in the morning. We haven’t made love since before I got sick so we are overdue. In. The. Worst. Way. I can’t believe I’ll be living in that big house. With Nash. Okay, so the guys live in the smaller house behind it, and maybe they come to the house for meals sometimes. Yeah, a lot. Still, to be with Nash so much more, share his bed – our bed. Sigh. It’s like all my dreams are coming true. When my parents find out they’ll hate it. Mom will die. It’s not like they like anything I do anyway. Hell, most of the time, I don’t exist to them. They never even showed up for my birthday like mom said they would. I was actually relieved. I can’t wait until the first time we can have all our friends over. A dinner party! That would make it even more official! We should do that soon.
Parking in front of the porch, I decide to get the box of food. Bart always seems to know when I’m here with dinner so I’m hoping to surprise them all this time. It’s heavy but I manage to get up the porch steps and fumble, trying to knock on the door without dropping the box. Maybe Bart has been my lifesaver carrying it for me all this time. As the door opens, my smile spreads.
“Surprise!” I stand here staring, blinking rapidly.
“Hi!”
I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to keep my mouth from dropping open. Before me stands – Barbie. Like, a real life Barbie. I mean, a woman who could double as Barbie. Long blonde hair, perfectly styled. Red lipstick covering large perfectly pouty lips. Black mascara coating the longest, most perfect lashes I’ve ever seen, her large baby blue eyes outlined with black liner. She’s got that perfect hour glass figure, adorned in a black dress. The top, above her very busty bust, and wide waistband, is black lace, her unblemished perfect skin showing through, with no sleeves. The same black lace covers black satin over her large breasts as well as the skirt stopping high on her thighs, and the hem, a wide strip of sheer black lace below stopping above her knees. She’s – perfect.
“I’m sorry. We didn’t order any food.” I watch her mouth move but can’t believe what she said.
“I’m here to see Nash,” I say, changing my stance, gripping the box rather tightly.
“Oh! He didn’t tell me we were having company.” We? “I’m Blair Valentine.” Of course you are. Who? “I’m Nash’s girlfriend.” She lays her left hand over her heart, showing me the biggest and flashiest diamond ring. I swallow hard. What? “And you are?”
“I’m....” I feel sick. Not the kind of sick I just got over but the end result could be in the front bushes very quickly.
“Blair? Who is it?” I stiffen when I hear Nash’s voice, sounding from in the kitchen. “Dinner’s gettin’ cold.”
“I’ll be right there, darlin’.” She looks at me with those wide made up eyes and bats her black long lashes. Seriously! She batted her eyes at me! “Who may I say is here?”
I cock my hip, nearly dropping the box but slapping my hands on it quickly and standing straight again. She smiles, clearly trying not to laugh. Reminds me of those wicked girls at school that used to make fun of me. Whenever they got a chance. Which was often. “I’ve known Nash for several months now. He’s never mentioned a girlfriend.” I raise my eyebrow.
She waves her perfectly painted long false fingernails. “Oh! He’s so funny that way.” She fake laughs. She cocks her left hip, placing her perfectly manicured hand there, the light from the porch making that diamond ring sparkle. Did I mention it’s on her left hand? The finger women wear an engagement or wedding ring on? “I’ve known Nash since college. We lived together. I’m so surprised he never mentioned that. We were to be married.”
“Oh?” My voice squeaks. No Minnie Mouse voice! Not now! I clear my throat. “Strange how something that important never came up. You’d think he would tell me about that when we were in – bed.” Her eyes squint then widen. “And he’s been here all this time, without you.”
She smiles, showing her perfect straight, perfectly brilliant white teeth, then gives me a sorrowful look. “Oh. I’m so sorry, dear. He didn’t tell you?” I try not to shake my head. “You poor thing!” She reaches out with that ringed fingered hand and touches my hand, still gripping the very heavy box. “He called me just the other day, told me he couldn’t stand another minute without me. He’d broken up with me but....” She smiles. “He saw the error of his ways. So, of course, I came as soon as I could. The minute I walked into this door, he knelt down and gave me our engagement ring back, the one he’d given me in college when we were livin’ together. Put it on my finger himself.” She raises her hand, showing me the ring better. It’s glistening from the light. She lets out a big dreamy sigh. “Of course, I shed tears of joy. I was back in my fiancé’s arms.”
“But – I….,” I can’t get any more words out. I don’t know what to say.
“He made love to me immediately and it was so much more than I’d remembered. Those large muscles and that dear, sweet handsome face.”
“Yes, well....” I start stammering, not knowing what to do.
“I feel so bad for you, dear. I can tell you have the biggest crush on him. I must speak to him about not telling his friends about us.”
“Blair? Are you okay?” Nash’s voice makes me blink rapidly and take a step back.
“I think – I’d better – go.” I start to turn around when she reaches out her hands.
“Here. Let me take that.” I release the box as she takes it. “Smells yummy.” I nod, numbly, and run down the steps. “I’ll be sure and tell Nash you stopped by,” she yells as I round my car and open the door. “Hey! What was your name?”
I get into the car, slamming the door closed, fasten the seatbelt then put it in drive. I try not to look back at his house but my eyes shift that way just as the door closes. I can’t seem to tear my eyes away when I see Nash walk up to Barbie – I mean, Blair, through the window beside the front door, taking the box from her. She leans up and kisses him. He shifts the box under one arm and puts his other arm around her. My hands grip the steering wheel tighter as I watch him remove his arm from her, pushing back some of her long hair over her shoulder then pulling her into his side as they walk out of sight.
Tears fill my eyes as I stomp on the gas pedal. Anger, frustration, and my once happy heart breaks into a million pieces as I speed down the long drive. My tires screech when I turn onto the gravel road, making my SUV fishtail but I need to get far away and as fast as possible. How could he do this? What would he have benefited from it? It’s not like I have money, hell, he has his own. Was I just a substitute fuck while his Barbie girlfriend and he were broken up? Had he always known they would get back together so he just used me until then? Tears stream down my face as I make my way into town. I pull behind the shop, turn off my car, and grab the keys, getting out and running into the alley and up the stairs. I already had a duffle bag of clothes and some of my bathroom things in the back seat of my car, my apartment all but packed. I started filling another duffle bag from my closet, throwing in more of my clothes and rummaging in my bathroom, leaving drawers open as I pack my small makeup case. I have to leave. I can’t stay here now. Not after....
It takes three trips to my car to load it with as much as I could. I tried to take everything that meant something to me, leaving behind things I won’t need where I’m going. My phone’s been blowing up ever since I got here but I refuse to even look at it. The back seat is full by the time I get in the car. I start to back up, looking at the back of the shop as I pull out. How can I just leave? Leave Sadie, Shiloh, Prie? How can I stay? I can’t bear to see his face, hear his voice. My heart is already broken. There’d be nothing left of me if I stayed.<
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Chapter Seventeen
Nash
“Blair. Come here.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders as I carry the box I took from her. She lays her head on my shoulder and we walk toward the kitchen.
Couldn’t believe she just showed up at my door a few hours ago. She was shaking, cryin’, pretty much a mess. Then I found out why. Her pa had passed away. I’d known him and her for most of my life. Since he and my pa became friends in college, Blair and I had basically grown up together. He was not only a good friend to Pa but to me as well. It hurt me to learn of his passin’. She’d flown here from Texas and rented a car. Pretty much broke down as soon as she told me what happened. Much like my pa, he’d been ill for several years. She was still livin’ at home, takin’ care of him, somethin’ I would have never imagined she could do. She’s just not the type. I guess when it’s family, and even though her brother was there too, she stepped up.
After I calmed her down we sat and talked in the livin’ room while the guys cooked dinner. After a while, I went in to help get things finished, gettin’ pretty hungry myself. The whole time I was thinkin’ I needed to call Tina, let her know about Blair. We’re supposed to move her into my house in the mornin’. I don’t want her to get the wrong impression. She needs to understand that it’s been over with Blair for years, that she doesn’t mean anythin’ to me. I hope she’ll understand. I need her to. But I just couldn’t turn Blair away. She needed comfort and people around her that knew her pa.
