by Vicki Green
“Who was that at the door and what’s in the box?” We walk into the kitchen and I set the box down on the breakfast bar.
“Oh.” She waves her hand. “Some girl. She said she brought dinner. How nice was that? I didn’t know they delivered way out here.” Bart walks up and opens the box and starts taking out familiar containers. He looks up at me, his eyes wide.
“Tina,” I whisper. Turning, I grab Blair’s arms. “You answered the door. The woman – did she seem upset? What did she say?”
She bites her lower lip. “Not at first but the more we talked she started looking a little annoyed?”
I shake her a little. “Blair. What did you say to her?” She looks around then back at me. She places her hands on my arms and when I look down, anger fills me instantly. I look back at her and snarl. “Why are you wearing the ring I gave you?” She opens her mouth but nothin’ comes out. “What did you say to her, Blair?” I yell, shakin’ her again, my anger gettin’ the better of me. “Tell me!”
Tears form in her eyes as she reaches up and cups my face. “All I ever wanted was you, Nash. We’re good together. We belong together.” I shake my head not wantin’ to hear what she’s sayin’. I can’t believe it. Can’t believe her. “Don’t you see? Our Pa’s were friends. We grew up together. We were always meant to be together, Nash.”
“No.” I shake my head more.
“Nash,” she whispers searchin’ my eyes.
“NO!” I shake her again, causin’ tears to fall down her face. “Did you tell her we’re together? Did you say what you just told me?” She purses her lips, the guilt pourin’ from her. “Bart.”
“Yes, Nash?” Bart walks over to my side.
“Get Luis. Take Blair to the airport in her rental car, have Luis follow you in his truck. She’s leavin’.” Pullin’ my phone from my pocket, I try to call Tina. It goes straight to voicemail. I send her a text, quickly, my fingers flyin’ over the keys.
“Right away.” Bart walks over and grabs her arm.
“No! Nash! We’re meant to be together! Forever! I love you!” She screams as Bart tugs her from the kitchen. I look up in time to see her bein’ pushed through the doorway.
I turn to Manuel, my breathin’ so heavy, my anger changin’ to worry immediately. Runnin’ my fingers through my hair, I look into his eyes not knowin’ what to say, or what to do. He limps over to me, holdin’ his head up high, and pats my shoulder. “Go, Mijo. Find her.” I turn and start to walk when I feel his hand on my shoulder. “When you find her, she’ll be upset, confused. But fight for her. Make her understand. Don’t let her go.”
“I have no intention of lettin’ her go.” I give him a nod.
I get into my truck and speed down the drive. What she must think. I push on the gas, causin’ gravel to spew, hittin’ my truck with familiar pings. She’s gotta be so upset. I hate that! Hate that once again Blair did somethin’ to fuck up my life. Only this time – this time she upset the woman I love. I hit the steerin’ wheel with my fist in anger. I have to get to her apartment, explain things. Fuck! I hope she’ll believe me. She has to! The drive feels endless, hatin’ that it takes so long to get into town. If Blair hadn’t shown up, just a short time from now we’d be movin’ Tina into my house. We’d really get to start our life together. My house would finally become a home. Our home.
“God, why?” I say out loud, watchin’ the town come into view. “Why is everythin’ tryin’ to keep us apart?” I know in my heart she’s the woman for me. I feel it in my soul. We’re meant to be together. Why do things keep comin’ between us?
“Sometimes the best things in life are meant to be fought for. You have to know what you want, feel it in your gut, and do whatever it takes to get it.”
Pa’s words come back at me with a force. He taught me that life isn’t always fair, that you have to work hard and never ever back down. He told me, so many times, that life is a struggle but I can set my mind to do anythin’. He made me the man I am today.
I pull behind her shop, not seein’ her car there. Dammit! I get out of my truck and run into the alley and up the stairs. “TINA!” I scream as I beat on her door. “Tina! Let me explain!” I keep poundin’ with my fist. I’m breathin’ heavy, some from the exertion and some from worry and fear. I rest my forehead against the door. “Tina. Please let me in.” No sounds come from inside. I raise my head and pound a few more times. Now what do I do? My eyes widen. Sadie.
I run back down the stairs and get into my truck and try to call Tina. Straight to voicemail. So, I text her. Not waitin’, I pull out of the small lot. The long drive back is makin’ me more and more anxious. I look down at the gas gauge. I’ll need to get gas soon. I hit the Bluetooth on my steerin’ wheel and call Prie.
“Nash?” Surprisingly, Trevor answers. “What’s up, man? Everythin’ okay?”
“Oh. Uh – hey, Trev. I....” What do I tell him? “Was hopin’ maybe Tina was over there?”
He yawns. “Tina? Nope. She’s not here. Prie’s asleep. Want me to wake her and ask her if she knows where Tina is?” Fuck! I woke him.
“Uh, no thanks. Sorry I woke ya. Don’t wake her.”
He yawns again. “Okay, man. If you need me, let me know.”
I end the call as I pull into Sadie’s drive. If I woke him, then Sadie and Memphis are most likely asleep too. But I can’t wait. I have to find Tina. Now. I try to call Tina again. Nothin’. Pullin’ up by the front, I get out quickly and run up their porch steps. I send Tina another text. I hope I don’t wake up the kids. I knock, not seein’ any lights on inside. Maybe I should’ve tried to call first. I knock again and am surprised when the door opens.
“Nash?” Memphis is standin’ before me wearing a t-shirt and sleep pants. “Everythin’ all right?”
“Yeah, uh. Sorry, if I woke ya.”
“C’mon in.” I walk inside, noticin’ the lights comin’ from their kitchen. “Sadie and I were just havin’ some hot chocolate before we turn in. Wanna cup?”
I follow behind me. “No, thank ya.” We walk into the kitchen and Sadie’s eyes widen when she sees me and smiles.
“Nash! What a nice surprise.” She stands and walks over to me, and Memphis goes over to the counter. She grasps my arms and kisses my cheek. She moves back, her smile leavin’ pretty quickly. “Nash. What’s wrong? You’re really pale. Are you getting sick?”
“I just....” I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. “Have you heard from Tina?”
“Come here. Sit.” Sadie guides me over to a chair as Memphis sets down a cup in front of me on the table. “Now, what’s all this about Tina? I talked to her earlier today. She was all excited about moving in with you tomorrow. Couldn’t stop talking about it.” Fuck! I need to find her! “I have to tell you.” She lays her hand on my arm. “I’m so happy that you all are together. It’s a match made from heaven. You all are perfect for each other.” My brows lower and I run my fingers through my hair again. “Nash. What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”
I stand, pushin’ back the chair with force, and start pacin’. “My ex-girlfriend showed up earlier tonight. Had no idea she was comin’. Her pa passed away. He was a longtime friend of our family. She was pretty upset. Tina showed up, surprisin’ me with dinner. Guess Blair answered the door.” I stop and notice the worried look on Sadie’s face. “Guess she hasn’t changed over the years. She had on the engagement ring I’d given her when we were datin’ in college.” Sadie’s hand flew up and covered her mouth with a gasp. “Yeah. I had no idea of their conversation until Tina had left.” I walk over and sit down, leanin’ my arms on the table. “Sadie. She’s not at her apartment. Not answerin’ her phone. I had hoped she was here. Where would she go?”
Sadie stands, puttin’ her hand on my shoulder. “Let me go get my phone and try to call her,” she offers. She gives my shoulde
r a pat and then leaves the room. I bury my face in my hands, my insides shakin’ and my heart heavy.
“Took me and Sadie quite a while before we got together.” I look up as Memphis starts talkin’. He smiles. “She was a wild thing, thinkin’ she knew what was what. That’s the first thing that attracted me to her. She had spunk and a ton of sass.” He chuckles, his eyes lightin’ up. “But she had some growin’ up to do and things tried to get in our way. Didn’t think we’d ever be together.” My brows raise. Even though I’ve heard this story a million times, I never thought of it this way. Sounds a lot like me and Tina. “Seems like every time things were good, other things would get in the way.” He smiles again and clears his throat. “We went through a lot together. Fought through it. At first, I wondered what the hell I was gettin’ into. Didn’t really know her but the more we hung out, the more I wanted to know. Figured out she was someone I wanted. But it wasn’t just that. Found out I needed her just as much as she needed me.”
I swallow hard. “Things are just so fucked up, Memphis.”
He turns serious. “Might seem that way. Thing is, I learned the hard way that if it’s somethin’ you really want, feel like you can’t live without, well, ya just gotta fight for it.”
“Pa used to say the same thing.” I smile at the memory.
“Smart man your pa.” He winks. “Now Tina – she comes from money but doesn’t want anythin’ to do with it. She’s a smart gal.” He rubs his bearded chin. “Not sure how she turned out so well, comin’ from parents like hers.” He leans forward. “From what I’ve learned, she’s had a pretty rough life. Not like us, comin’ from the land, workin’ hard and payin’ our dues. Nope. She came from a family that gave her no love, no attention. I couldn’t imagine growin’ up like that. Seems she finally found that with you.” His brows raise, and my heart pounds against my chest. “Now, if it was me, I’d go find her and let her know just how much she was loved. That nothin’ will stand in your way of makin’ sure she knows that. That you’d fight to keep it.” I nod, knowin’ this was always my plan.
“Well....” Both our heads turn as Sadie walks into the room. She sits down next to me with a ton of worry and concern in her eyes. “She’s on her way to her parents’ house.” Fuck! “Of course I’m sure you already know she’s very hurt and upset.” I nod, havin’ no doubt of that. “Nash.” She picks up my hand and squeezes. “I tried to explain but she won’t listen. She’s too hurt right now. Give her a little time then go to her. Fight like hell. She needs reassurance that you truly love her.” She looks down at our hands then back up at me. “She’s lived her entire life thinking no one loves her. Her parents saw to that. Then, I didn’t help much in my younger wilder days. She was always there for me. I felt like a terrible friend.” I see tears fill her eyes, my heart hurtin’ worse. “But Nash.” She squeezes my hand again and smiles. “Ever since she first saw you, her eyes lit up. She’s always been so shy with guys but overcame that – for you. I know she’s in love with you and for the first time in her life, she’s felt love. Don’t let her let go of that.”
I stand ready for the fight of my life. “Give me her parents address, please. I aim to go get my girl.” Sadie smiles while she stands and walks over to their built-in desk in the corner, writing on a piece of paper. She brings it over and hands it to me. “Thank ya.”
Leanin’ up, she kisses my cheek. “I know you’re anxious but be in your right mind when you get there. Won’t be easy getting her to see, making her understand what she saw and felt. I know right now she’s feeling like the only one who she’s truly loved and felt love from broke her heart. She’s feeling like another person who she thought loved her took that away, just like all the other times in her life. She’s climbed back into her shell, unsure of herself, her worth. Show her she’s loved, Nash. Show her she’s the strong, funny, wonderful woman she really is.”
I nod curtly. “I aim to do that and more, Sadie. That part won’t be hard to do. It’s how I feel. I just hate that I hurt her, made her feel that way. Sadie. I need to get her back. I – I want to marry her, have kids with her. I want to shower her with everythin’ she deserves. She’ll never be alone again. Never feel unloved, ever. Not as long as I get her back. Not as long as I’m breathin’.”
“Go get her.” Memphis smiles and winks.
They walk me to their front door. I open it, ready to go home and pack a bag and hit the road. “Nash?” I turn around as I step out onto the porch. “Be careful driving. Will you keep me updated, please? I’m worried about her especially being at home with her parents.”
I nod. “Thank ya. I sure will. And Sadie...?” She smiles. “Thank ya so much for your help. You too, Memphis. Thanks for the talk.” Sadie nods eagerly while Memphis gives me a nod.
Gettin’ in my truck, I head the short distance to my house. I’ll fill Manuel and the guys in, pack an overnight bag, get enough cash outta my safe, and stop and get gas on the way outta town. I know I’ll be askin’ a lot of the guys, them havin’ to take care of everythin’ around here while I’m gone. It’s a lot to ask, I know. They’ve all always been there for me but I’ve tried to always be there for them too. Helpin’ Manuel after his accident wasn’t enough to come close to repayin’ him for all he’s done for me. Bart fell off that ladder once, breakin’ his leg and arm. Luis got into some tight spots when he was younger, even had to bail him outta jail a few times. There’s countless things but what they’ve all given me doesn’t compare. My phone rings as I pull into my driveway, my heart racin’ in hope that it’s her. “Hello?”
“Nash. Trevor said you called. Did you find Tina? What’s going on?” Prie’s voice sounds frantic. Never meant to get her all worked up. She doesn’t need that.
“Did Trevor wake you? Didn’t want him to,” I reply quickly.
“No! Had to go to the bathroom but since I was up, he told me you called. Is Tina okay?” Damn, don’t need to be worryin’ her.
“I hope?” Okay, that doesn’t sound any better. “Look. We just had a small fight is all. Things will be okay. You go back to sleep and don’t worry.” I try to make light of it, tryin’ to keep my voice steady and sure.
“What the hell, Nash? Don’t lie to me. Something’s happened. I can hear it in your voice.” So much for hidin’ my feelings.
“Look. I’m gonna be away for a bit. I....”
“She’s left, hasn’t she? You’re going after her.” Damn! She’s too smart for her own good. “Will you just let me know? Keep me updated. Please?”
I nod, like she can see me. “Yeah. But do me a favor? Don’t get all riled up. You need to keep your blood pressure down and not get all upset. Will you do that for me? For the baby?”
I hear her breathe out a sigh. “Yeah, as long as you keep me updated. Deal?” I hear a smile in her voice.
“Deal.” I stop my truck and turn it off, gettin’ out quickly and walkin’ to the porch steps. “I gotta go. Take care of yourself and that niece or nephew of mine. Kay?”
She agrees, lettin’ out a small laugh. I end the call and walk into the front door, almost trippin’ over a duffle bag on the floor. “What the?” Manuel and all the guys are standin’ there, well, Manuel is sittin’ down in his old wheelchair. “What’s this?’
Bart walks up to me and pats my back. “We knew you’d be goin’ after her. Expected it. So, we packed for ya.” He winks.
“Well, I....” I run my hand over my head underneath my hat.
“Go, Mijo. Just drive safe.” Manuel pushes himself over to me.
“Yeah. We got everythin’ handled here, Nash. No need to worry.” Luis steps up and the rest of the guys all nod.
Leanin’ down, I pick up the bag, tryin’ to hold back my tears. “Ya’ll are the best.” I look at each of them. “I hope I won’t be gone too long.”
“Just go get Miss Tina and bring her back where she be
longs.” Manuel winks.
“I aim to do just that.”
I get back into my truck and start down my long drive, thinkin’ about what I’ll do when I get to her parents’ house. Never met them. Was never sure I really wanted to. Thought I might get too angry, knowin’ how badly they treated Tina all her life. But now, I’ll do anythin’ to get her back. Anythin’.
Chapter Eighteen
Tina
Never let it be said that driving a long way and having so much time to think is ever a good thing. When I’d left Nash’s house, all I felt was anger and betrayal. I wanted to see Nash, yell at him for breaking my heart. Then I wanted to throw my arms around him and plead for him not to leave me, not to let me go. By the time I got to my apartment and started packing up my car, I wanted to scream. How many times can I be such an idiot? Will I ever learn? No one wants me! No one cares! What’s it gonna take for me to understand that? I never want be with a guy again. Never want to even see one, especially a cowboy! I might have to sell my half of the shop to Sadie. I don’t think I could ever look at anyone in that town again.
Then as I started the long drive home to my parents, I thought about Sadie and Memphis, and their twins. Why can’t I find love like that? I feel like I’ll never get that chance, never have kids. I’ll be an old spinster and have a hundred cats. I’ll be known as the cat lady. I feel a tear slide down my cheek, my vision becoming blurry. I wipe it away angrily. I will not cry anymore. Dammit! Besides, I need to be able to see the road. God! I never thought I’d go back home. Well, not really home but to the house I grew up in. I hated every minute there. If I had the money, I’d find somewhere else to live, start over. But for what? More disappointment?
God, I loved him! Still do. How can my heart just flip a switch? I wouldn’t know but I can’t imagine it would work that way. That bitch stood at his front door, waving that ring around like it had always been there. How could I have been so wrong about him? I know I’m not the smartest crayon in the box but I know what I felt, how he made me feel. How could all of that be a lie? God! I’m so confused. Hurt. Putting my hand over my heart that’s beating its way out of my chest more tears fall. I don’t think I’ve ever hurt this much, never felt this much pain. Can you die from a broken heart?
