by Mia Archer
“You mean she didn’t already mention it to you?”
“Well no,” Ethel said. “I might have a reputation for knowing everything that goes on in this town, but there are some secrets people manage to keep from me. I’ll assume from your mentioning her mentioning it to me that she does know, though.”
I giggled. “You’re a regular gossip Sherlock Holmes, Ethel.”
And then to my surprise I started shaking. Why the hell was I shaking? Savannah looked over and immediately she was getting up, but surprisingly it was Ethel who got around the desk first and wrapped her arms around me. She pulled my head to her chest and rocked back and forth.
“It’s okay Kirsten,” she said. “I know this was probably scary for you, but you really don’t have anything to worry about.”
“Other than pastor Dan,” Savannah said. “Though I guess he’s had his teeth pulled just a little now.”
Ethel immediately looked up. “What has he done?”
Savannah sighed and launched into the drama surrounding pastor Dan that had been our life for the past few months. The expression on Ethel’s face got darker and darker with every word, but unlike Savannah’s mother she didn’t make any threats. No, she just shook her head and clicked her tongue.
“Well you don’t have to worry about him anymore,” Ethel said.
“But…” Savannah said.
“I’m planning on having a little gathering at my house to celebrate the end of summer. I’d really like it if the two of you could join the party. Together.”
Savannah and I exchanged a confused glance. It was good to know I wasn’t the only one who was taken aback by the sudden change of subject. From pastor Dan to an end of summer gathering at her house? Was the woman truly crazy?
Though it seemed unfair to think that sort of thing about her. After all, hadn’t she just been there for me when I had a sudden attack of anxiety and relief washing over me at the same time?
I was surprised that my body reacted that way. It felt as though all the tension, all the anxiety that had been building up in me over the past couple of had finally come out in one long shuddering moment. As though my body had been coiled and tensed for action, like a cute little bunny that knew there was something lurking in the woods ready to pounce, and now the danger was gone and my body was letting go.
It was a good feeling.
“I suppose we could come out to your thing,” I said. “Who’s going to be there?”
Ethel did another one of those dismissive waves of her hand, as though who was going to be there didn’t matter at all. Though there was a glint in her eyes. A look behind those grandmotherly glasses that made me think she was up to something. She always seemed to be up to something.
“Just a few close friends, nothing major,” she said.
“Right,” I said. I glanced over to Savannah. She bit her lip and nodded. I guess we were going.
“I suppose it won’t be a problem for us to join you,” I said.
Ethel’s face split into a bright smile. “Good! I’ll be so glad to have you there. I can introduce you to a few people.”
I thought for a moment about how Ethel seemed to know everybody who was anybody in this town. Not that it was too difficult to be a big fish in such a small pond. Still, I was very interested to see what her definition of “a few friends” and introducing us to “a few people” actually meant.
Not that she gave me time to ask. Just as quickly as she’d appeared at my side she was gone. She stepped out and the door closed behind her. I leaned back in my chair again, the leather creaking under me, and let out a long sigh.
“Well that was interesting,” Savannah said.
I shook my head. “Is there anyone we’ve actually succeeded in keeping our secret from?”
Savannah looked at the door. Out through the window. The blinds were open at the moment so I could see out into the library. A necessity when Ethel and I were both in here, though it was a time of day when we rarely had anybody stopping in to get movies or books.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m starting to think that small-town life is a hell of a lot more complicated than I originally thought it was when I moved back here.”
“Yeah, but at the same time things just got a hell of a lot simpler for us too,” Savannah said.
She glanced over to those open blinds. Looked back at me with an impish smile.
I glanced down at the time on my phone. It would be at least another hour until there was any sort of rush. And Ethel was out there to take care of things if we did get a little busy. I nodded towards the blinds, an unspoken communication, and Savannah went over and drew them shut. Turned and pressed her back against the door. Stared at me, her chest heaving.
“You know I got one hell of an adrenaline rush from all that,” Savannah said.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re not even the one whose job was on the chopping block!”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m worked up now!”
“Oh? And what did you have in mind to take care of that?”
“I was thinking maybe it’s time to relieve some tension?”
I glanced towards one of the windows. It was covered, but still. It was only a thin bit of glass separating us from the rest of the library. Savannah followed my eyes and looked back. Arched an eyebrow.
“Is something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said. “Not really. I guess it’s just that now that I know Ethel knows…”
Savannah giggled. “She’s known all along, right? What’s any different now?”
I grinned. “I suppose you’re right.”
I opened my arms and Savannah positively slinked across the room. Her eyes focused on mine, and I felt a chill run through me.
“So how about we work out some of that tension?” Savannah asked as she moved in close. She leaned down until her lips were mere inches from mine. I could smell her perfume. Feel her breath on me. I needed to taste her lips against mine.
So I did just that. Savannah was absolutely right. I needed some release after all of that.
Hell, if it was going to be like this every time we made a major confession then I was starting to think we should have done this long ago!
20: Debutantes
“I think we’ve been had,” I said.
“You’re damn right we have,” Kirsten replied.
I stared at the cars parked in Ethel’s front lawn. She lived in a massive farmhouse that wasn’t all that unlike my own, though she lived there with her husband and her massive family. It was one of those houses that kept growing over the years as successive generations built up and worked their farmland.
So really sort of the opposite of what had happened with us selling off our land.
It wasn’t just the front lawn either. Cars were parked along the side of the road for maybe a half mile. It seemed like half the town had shown up. Hell, maybe the entire town.
“So this is Ethel’s idea of having a few people over?” I muttered.
“She knows everybody,” Kirsten said.
“So what do we do? Are you sure you want to do this with half the town here?”
Kirsten shrugged. It was a fatalistic shrug that seemed to take in the entirety of our situation. It was a feeling I could understand.
“I don’t see that we have much choice, do we?”
I sighed as I pulled to an empty spot at the end of the long line of cars and put the truck into park. We were going to have to walk a little ways to get back to Ethel’s house. Not that walking for a little while was that big of a deal.
So we stepped out and made our way down the road. At least it was paved. Out here in the middle of nowhere there was always the possibility that it would be gravel instead.
“This feels weird,” I said.
Kirsten looked at me and smiled. Reached out to take my hand. I regarded that hand for a moment, and then realized what I was doing. Realized that I was being ridiculous. After all, the whole point of us coming
to this party was to let the entire world know about us. It seemed kind of silly to worry about things like holding her hand when we were going to be making the big reveal.
The cat was going to be very out of the bag here very soon, and so it’s not like there was much point in trying to hide things.
So I took her hand. Laced my fingers into hers. That felt good. Really good. I always liked getting up close and personal with her, but now that I was getting up close and personal without any regard for what other people thought it felt even better.
“That’s more like it,” Kirsten said.
I gave her hand a squeeze as we walked down the road.
It really was a beautiful day for a walk in the countryside. A gentle breeze kept it nice and cool. It was obvious fall was coming on. In the distance I saw a tree stand at the edge of a field that was starting to color. The fields had already been harvested. No massive cornstalks obscuring the view and making driving a dangerous proposition out in the country at this time of year.
Meanwhile the sky overhead was fluffy and blue. It was the sort of sky that said there was absolutely nothing that could go wrong in the world.
“You know I think I love this,” Kirsten said.
I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “What exactly do you love? Being here with me?”
She looked at me and for a change Kirsten was the one blushing, not me. She looked down and then back up at our surroundings. She seemed to take it all in. She seemed to really be taking it in for the first time, though of course that notion was ridiculous since she’d lived here her entire life.
Maybe it would be more fair to say she was looking at everything with fresh eyes, not new eyes.
“I’m talking about all of this around us,” she said. “The fields. The trees off in the distance. The sky overhead. The gentle breeze. I think I love this place. I don’t think I could truly say that before.”
I grinned. “I’ve felt the same way ever since I was a little kid.”
“Yeah, I suppose I’ve always felt it just a little,” Kirsten said. “This is home, after all, but there always seemed to be something missing. I always felt like I needed to go for something better. As though out there was better than back here.”
“Oh? Is that something you don’t agree with anymore?”
“I don’t know,” Kirsten said. “I think there’s something to be said for life in the city, but I think I’m also realizing there’s something to be said for the quieter life on offer here.”
She glanced sideways at me. That blush seemed to grow even more intense. “Especially if that quiet life out here includes you.”
I leaned in and kissed her. A quick kiss. And then we walked on in silence, the asphalt crunching under our shoes. What else was there to say?
This was one of those perfect moments in life. One of those moments I was going to think back on for the rest of my life, and I wasn’t going to ruin it with more conversation. No, this seemed like one of those times to relax and enjoy the surroundings. To let life wash over me.
Besides, there was still the party to think about. I still wasn’t entirely sure what was going to happen when we got there. I had a good feeling, the first good feeling I’d had about being at a public event with Kirsten since ever, but still. There was always a chance things could go wrong.
Then again, I’d thought the same thing before the big reveal to my mom. Before the big reveal to Ethel. And I’d been so very wrong at every step of the way when it came to those conversations.
As we got closer I could hear the dull hum of a lot of people talking. I heard splashing around. Ethel had a pool back behind her house. I’d call it a backyard, but it was really more accurate to say it was the space between her house and several barns where they kept all of their farming equipment.
Not that Ethel or her husband did much of the farming these days. No, she just enjoyed her job at the library and being the matron of one hell of a large family. A family that was big enough that it was probably part of the reason why she was so well-connected in town. Everybody knew someone in her family or had to do business with them at some point, and so it was a good business move to stay in the matriarch’s good graces.
Now that I thought about it in those terms I was starting to think maybe we should’ve enlisted her help a hell of a lot earlier than we had. She probably could’ve helped us out in a big way.
Too late to think about what ifs, though. All we could do now was forge ahead and see what the future brought us.
Finally we came around a line if pickup trucks, it seemed like there was no other form of transportation out in the rural middle of nowhere sometimes, and the music from behind the house really hit us. I turned to Kirsten and gave her hand a squeeze.
“Now or never. If you want to turn back then this is the time,” I said.
“No,” Kirsten said with an emphatic shake of her head. “If we’re going to do this then we need to just do it already. I don’t want to live in fear or in hiding anymore. It’s time to let the world know we’re more than just friends.”
“Seems like the whole world already knew we were more than just friends and they were waiting on us to tell them,” I muttered.
That earned a sharp look from Kirsten, but not for long. After all, given everything that had happened to us it wasn’t an unreasonable statement to make. So I took a deep breath and started walking. For a miracle Kirsten right along with me without a moment’s hesitation. We were in this together.
“So what do we do if people start asking awkward questions,” Kirsten asked.
“Are you kidding? This is a party at Ethel’s place. We’d be surrounded by people asking inappropriate questions whether or not the whole lesbian thing was happening.”
“You make a good point,” Kirsten said.
We didn’t have time for much more in the way of conversation. We rounded the back of Ethel’s house and I stopped and blinked in surprise at the massive crowd I saw there. I’d joked that it looked like she invited half the town judging by the number of cars lined up on the road in front of her house, but now that I was looking at that crowd it really did seem like she’d invited half the town.
At least the half of town that mattered. I saw a couple of judges, the chief of police, a couple of people I knew were on the library board, and some teachers I’d had in school. I also saw someone else who surprised me. My eyes narrowed as that person caught sight of us and walked over, lugging her portable oxygen tank the entire way with a huge smile on her face.
“Savannah!” mom said.
“Mom? What are you doing here?”
“Well Ethel is one of my oldest friends. I used to go to the storytimes she’d have at the library when I was a little girl, you know.”
“Well yeah,” I said. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that a woman who was pushing sixty had been young enough to attend storytimes being run by an adult Ethel when she was a little girl. Just one more reminder that the woman was seemingly eternal.
“But why didn’t you tell me you were coming out here? We could’ve ridden together,” I said.
“And miss the opportunity for the two of you to come out here together? Not a chance,” mom said with a wink.
She turned and wrapped Kirsten in a warm hug that made me feel all warm and fuzzy deep down inside. It was one thing for her to act like Kirsten was the daughter she never had, well I guess the second daughter she never had, in private. It was another thing entirely for her to pull that act in a very public way.
“So good to see you dear,” she said. “Now why don’t we get you something to eat?”
We made our way into the crowd. There was a massive table running the length of the backyard lined with various bits of cuisine that could only come from little old ladies using recipes handed down from woman to woman through generations of small town life. In short, exactly the kind of food that I absolutely loved enjoying. I was about to make a plate when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.
I turned in time to see Ethel coming up to us with an older gentlemen that I’d seen around town, though I couldn’t for the life of me come up with a name.
“Ethel!” I said. “So nice to see you!”
Ethel turned to me and positively beamed. She wrapped me in a hug and gave me an extra squeeze. Finally she pulled away and turned her attention to Kirsten. Getting a look at Kirsten suddenly had me on guard. She looked tense. The sort of tense I’d only seen when pastor Dan was lurking around, though a quick scan of the crowd didn’t reveal him anywhere nearby. I didn’t figure he’d be lurking around here anyways. Something told me he and Ethel didn’t run in the same social circles, though I could be wrong on that count.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, blurting it out without thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be asking her if something was wrong. Maybe she didn’t want to let on that she was a little wary of this distinguished looking older gentlemen with the pure white hair that was pulled over a bald spot in one of the worst combovers I think I’d ever seen.
He smiled down at Kirsten. A warm smile if I’d ever seen one. The guy seemed like the grandfatherly type for sure. I immediately liked him. I couldn’t say why. Just that the warm fuzzies were there for this guy. Maybe because he reminded me of my own grandpa.
I couldn’t for the life of me see why Kirsten would be on guard around this guy. It made no sense.
“Mr. Thompson,” she said, suddenly looking queasy. A wind blew over the party sending paper plates and plasticware flying. I wondered if it was an ill wind blowing in for us, though I still didn’t see the danger. The last name sounded familiar, everyone knew someone in the Thompson family after all, but still.
“Please, call me Harold,” he said, reaching out and taking her hands in a warm gesture.
Oh. Harold. Harold Thompson. The guy who was in charge of the library board. The guy who could probably get rid of Kirsten’s job if he was so inclined. Probably the guy she’d been most worried about the entire time we’d been sneaking around.
Suddenly the way she’d been acting made a little more sense. I tensed myself for that disaster I’d been waiting for, but once again it never came despite anticipating the worst. I could get used to this.
