by Mia Archer
He glanced to me, the smile still plastered on his face. “I just wanted you to know that Ethel has kept me updated on everything that’s been going on with the two of you, and I couldn’t be happier for you.”
“Really?” Kirsten asked.
“Really,” he said. He leaned in a little closer, whispering and suddenly looking conspiratorial. “Us old farts around here aren’t all so close-minded, you know.”
“I… um. I’m sorry?” Kirsten said.
Now here was a lark. All this time she’d expected this guy to cause trouble and now she was the one apologizing to him for jumping to the wrong conclusions? It was so ridiculous that a giggle escaped before I could catch the damn thing. Harold turned to me and winked.
“I also want you to know that if you have any sort of trouble, any at all, to let me know. The library isn’t the only board I sit on, after all, and I’m not going to put up with someone causing trouble for the two of you. Not in my town.”
That grandfatherly look was suddenly gone from his face, replaced by something far more stern and intimidating. That was the look of a man I wouldn’t want to cross. The look of a man who was genuinely angry that someone might have given us trouble. The look of a man who was completely serious when he said this was his town.
Harold Thompson might be a kindly old grandpa type guy who ran the local bank, but in that moment he looked every inch the godfather threatening someone he didn’t like. I had a pretty good idea of who he was talking about, too, but he didn’t come out and name names. Classy.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Kirsten said.
And with that Harold and Ethel were moving off into the crowd. Once they were gone Kirsten practically collapsed against me. I could sympathize. I’d felt a little weak in the knees after confessing to my mom.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I think so,” Kirsten said. “That was just a little surprising. In more ways than one.”
“You can say that again,” I said. “If everything keeps going so well like this I’m going to have you pinch me to make sure I didn’t wreck and go into a coma or something.”
“With the way you drive that’s probably more likely than everything that’s happened to us the past couple of days,” Kirsten muttered.
“Hey!”
Though there wasn’t much heat to my voice. No, things really were going well. Damn well. I was starting to feel like nothing could bring me down today. That is until I glanced out across the crowd and saw a familiar face that was staring right back at me. A familiar face that didn’t look nearly as pleasant as everyone else at this party. A familiar face that still bore one hell of a shiner on his left eye from where my fist made contact with it a couple of days ago in the city.
Damn it. What was he doing here? Why would Ethel invite him of all people when she knew what had been going on between us?
And as soon as we made eye contact he was on the move, coming right for us. Damn it, damn it, damn it! I grabbed Kirsten by the arm and tried pulling her away. Maybe we could get into a conversation with someone and avoid this little brewing altercation before it blew up in our faces.
Maybe. I didn’t have high hopes.
21: Pastor Dan's Last Stand
“We need to go. Now,” Savannah said.
Her hand wrapped around my arm and I looked down in confusion. She was gripping awfully hard. Her knuckles were white as she pulled me across the grass towards a clump of people having a friendly conversation. I recognized at least one girl who I went to school with, though I didn’t have a pressing desire to chat with her after not talking since graduation.
“What are you going on about Savannah?” I asked.
“Just trust me on this. We don’t want a confrontation here of all places.”
That look on her face was one of pure determination. The same look I’d seen when she was going to confront pastor Dan outside the club a couple of days ago. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why she’d look like that here of all places, though. It’s not like he was around or anything. I’d been scanning the crowd for that jerk ever since we arrived.
I did another scan now. Particularly behind us since that seemed to be the direction Savannah was moving away from at rapid speed. That’s when I saw him. Pastor Dan moving through the crowd straight for us like he was some sort of lesbian-seeking missile. Whenever he bumped into people he got a huge smile on his face, but as soon as he was past them the smile disappeared and he was back to glowering at us.
Why couldn’t that guy just leave us alone? Still, I wasn’t going to have any of this running away bullshit. Not after all the trouble he’d caused us. If he wanted to get into it with us then I was more than happy to dance with the jerk.
I pulled away from Savannah. Her eyes went wide and for a moment I had to suppress a laugh. I wondered if that’s what I looked like outside the club when she pulled away from me and went off to confront this guy. I suppose turnabout was fair play and all that.
“What are you doing?” she hissed.
“I could ask the same of you,” I said just under my breath. “Weren’t you the one who wanted to stand up to this guy? Have you changed your mind now that we’re back home?”
Savannah looked around at the people surrounding us. It was a veritable who’s who of big fish from our very small pond. “We’re in the middle of a crowd of people from home. Do you really want to get into it with him like we did back in the city? We’re not anonymous here. We don’t have the cops to back us up.”
“Actually we do,” I said. “The sheriff is right over there with a couple of his deputies. They’re not in uniform, but I’m sure they’d be happy to step in if pastor Dan tries to hit one of us again.”
“I still don’t think this is a good idea,” she said.
I looked over my shoulder. He was almost on us. I guess my attempt at distracting Savannah long enough to let him get close enough that we couldn’t escape had worked. I turned back to her and grinned, shrugged my shoulders.
“It might not be a good idea, but here he is. Not much we can do about it now,” I said.
“What are you…” Savannah’s eyes narrowed. “You sneaky…”
I suppose I deserved that, but she didn’t get a chance to finish her thought. No, it was too late. Pastor Dan was upon us, and boy did he look pissed off. Not that I was too bothered. I suppose Savannah took strength from being away from home when she confronted him and punched his lights out. Now I took strength from knowing that I still had a job no matter what this guy said. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t worry me on some level, and now I felt completely free after that conversation with Harold.
“What are the two of you doing here?” he hissed.
“Oh, so are you trying to play the quiet threatening thing Dan?” I asked. “I guess I can understand that. Wouldn’t want any members of the community out here to know how black your heart really is, would we?”
“What are you talking about? Everything I’ve done is because I’m concerned with your eternal…”
I did a quick calculation. We were in the middle of a crowd of people who were the most influential people in town. The one card this guy had played over and over was that he was going to ruin our lives by ruining our reputation in our small town. He also had one hell of a short fuse, and it suddenly occurred to me that I could use that short fuse to set him off and do to him what he’d been threatening to do to us.
I’d just have to be a little annoying and disrespectful. That I could do. Especially considering the way he’d treated us and made us miserable these past few months.
“I know exactly what you’re concerned with, Danny boy, and to be honest the way you’re obsessed with Savannah’s sex life is a little creepy. Particularly when she was an underage teenager. I thought that was just a Catholic thing,” I said.
And here it came. His face turned several shades of red and then moved to that familiar purple I’d grown so familiar with. I laughed. I couldn’t d
o anything else given the circumstances. I couldn’t believe there’d ever been a time when Savannah thought this guy was a threat. I couldn’t believe there’d ever been a time when I’d actually worried he might be able to cause trouble for me at my job.
He was a paper tiger, through and through.
“I will not have you talking to me like that and disrespecting me,” he said.
“You mean you don’t want me talking to you and disrespecting you the same way you’ve been disrespecting Savannah for years? Well you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t take too kindly to people giving my girlfriend trouble like that. Now fuck off.”
I figured that would be the end of it. I certainly didn’t have anything else to say to the guy. I wasn’t going to convince him that I wasn’t leading a life of mortal sin that was putting my immortal soul in danger, and he wasn’t going to convince me that my love for Savannah was anything other than the pure unadulterated source of joy in my life that it was. There was no point in talking to the guy when neither one of us was going to convince the other of the error of our ways.
Only once more it seemed pastor Dan wasn’t going to take things lying down. He wasn’t going to let things go without getting a little physical. I felt a hand clamp down on my arm, though it wasn’t nearly as welcome this time around as Savannah’s grip had been just moments ago. I looked down in surprise. He held me fast. I tried to pull away and if anything his grip tightened to the point of discomfort.
I looked around. A couple of people had noticed what was going on even though our fight had been pretty quiet up to this point. In particular it seemed that Ethel, Harold, and the sheriff himself were glancing in our direction but not saying anything. Yet.
Then good old pastor Dan, true to form, opened his mouth and changed everything. His voice rose loud enough that anyone listening could hear him. I smiled. I hadn’t expected him to blow his stack like this, but at the same time I’d hoped I might be able to goad him into doing something stupid, and he’d responded true to form.
“I’m just about tired of you and your lip young lady!” he positively screamed, spit flying from his mouth. “I spent a night in jail because of you two! Jail!”
For good measure he raised his hand just like he had that day when I was walking back from a storytime at the elementary school. Just like he had that evening in the city when Savannah hit him with one hell of a right hook.
I didn’t say anything. I just kept the smile plastered on my face. I was pretty proud of myself for not flinching away when he raised his hand like that. I’d like to see anyone being faced with getting smacked like that and not flinch just a little, but somehow I managed it. I was also glad that Savannah didn’t decide to step in quite as dramatically as she had the last time he tried this.
The last thing I wanted was for us to look like the bad guys here. Pastor Dan was doing a good enough job of making himself look like an ass without us stepping in and giving anyone wiggle room to say we did something to provoke him.
Not that I needed to worry all that much about him actually landing a hit. In a flash there was a hand wrapped around his wrist. I blinked as I realized the sheriff, huge gut and all, had somehow made the sprint between where he’d been standing with a plate of food in his hand and where pastor Dan was threatening me and he held the good pastor’s arm in what looked to be a surprisingly strong grip.
“You care to tell me what the hell’s going on here, Dan?” he asked in a pleasant enough voice, though the pleasant tone was only in his voice. The man’s face was a thunderhead.
“These women got me thrown in jail! This whore tried to seduce one of my flock, and I will not tolerate…”
“Excuse me one minute, Dan,” the sheriff said. He turned and nodded to both of us in turn, a smile finally coming to his face. He never let loose from his grip on pastor Dan’s arm, though.
“This man bothering you ladies?” he asked.
“He’s been bothering us for months,” I said. “And this is like the third time he’s tried to assault one of us.”
“Thought as much. I imagine that’s why you got thrown in the clink in the first place, Dan,” the sheriff said, turning his attention back to the wayward pastor. “Is that the truth?”
“That is not the truth. That woman,” he nodded to Savannah, “assaulted me! She’s the reason I have this black eye.”
“After you tried to hit her. The cops arrested you, not her, remember? And she was nice enough not to press charges.”
“Why don’t you lower your hand, Dan? I’m getting awfully tired of holding this in place, and you keep this up much longer and you might have a charge here too,” the sheriff said, that amiable tone coming back even as that stern look returned.
“What’s going on here? Daniel?” Ethel said, moving through the crowd that had gathered around us. A crowd that was muttering amongst themselves, but all of them were muttering and looking at pastor Dan. None of them were looking at us with disapproval. That was surprising, but it was also a relief.
“How dare you, Daniel!” Ethel said, sounding quite scandalized. Though from the way she turned to me and winked I suddenly wondered if maybe there was a method to her madness inviting this guy out here in the first place.
“Ethel, I…”
“What’s the problem here?”
Another voice I recognized, though I really wished I didn’t. That would be Harold making his way through the crowd. I saw people stepping aside and finally he was there, his face positively furious. I figured this was it. I figured this was the end of my career in this town, only his anger was directed towards Dan and not at me at all.
The surprises just kept coming.
Harold looked at me and then to pastor Dan. “What’s going on here?”
I looked at the crowd surrounding us. I looked at pastor Dan who was still several shades of purple, though he’d lowered his hand. And I shrugged. The guy had made his bed, now it was time for him to lie in it. Savannah might be nice enough to not want to press charges against the asshole, but I didn’t feel any such hesitation or mercy.
So I spilled. Everything. In front of everyone. How he’d been harassing us. How he’d spent a night in jail in the city after getting into a fight with Savannah. How he just couldn’t seem to leave us alone. By the time I was done Ethel, Harold, the sheriff, and just about everyone else seemed furious, and pastor Dan seemed to realize that he’d finally stepped way out of line. He’d finally let his anger come out to play in front of a wide audience who didn’t appreciate his performance.
In short, he dun fucked up, as we said back home.
“Daniel, is this true?”
Pastor Dan looked around one final time, and then the anger seemed to drain. In a moment he’d folded in on himself and he looked completely and utterly defeated. Harold moved forward and put an arm around him, leaning in close and whispering something that pastor Dan didn’t like one bit. Then Harold turned and smiled at me.
“I’m sorry, Kirsten. You can be sure the church board will be having a long discussion about this.”
“The church board?” Savannah said, piping up where I was unable to find words. Everything was happening too fast. Everything was just too damn crazy.
Harold smiled. A wide, welcoming smile. “I told you I was on more than one board in this town. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
And with that he melted into the crowd that was starting to disperse now that the show was over, though I noted that not one of the people around us seemed to take pastor Dan’s side. A moment later Savannah’s mom came up beside us and stared at the retreating men. There was pure murder in her eyes.
“It’s a good thing the sheriff got to him before I did,” she muttered.
“Why’s that, mom?” Savannah asked.
Her mom reached down and hefted the portable oxygen machine she was wheeling around. “Because if I got to him first then I was going to see how it felt slamming this thing into his backside. I’ll show him to threaten my
little girl and her girlfriend.”
I looked at Savannah and then back to her mom, and started laughing. It was the only thing I could think to do. Everything that just happened was so crazy, so out of the ordinary, that I couldn’t think of anything else. Plus there was some tension draining out of me at the same time.
It had been a crazy couple of months, but finally everything was well and truly looking up.
22: To the Future
I stopped in at the library for probably the thousandth time since this whole thing started. I couldn’t believe it had been a year since that crazy day when Ethel played matchmaker. That crazy day when I met the girl who was going to change my life. And yet I wouldn’t change anything that had happened in the past year for anything, even if things had been pretty crazy there for the first month or so.
“Stopping in for lunch?” Ethel asked from her usual spot behind the desk.
“You know it!” I said.
I smiled as I brushed past her desk. I really did owe everything to her meddling. If she hadn’t tried to set us up a year ago then there’s a chance Kirsten might be in another city now working at some other library. There was a chance I’d still be stuck in the same rut I’d always been in, terrified to be myself and living in constant fear of the former pastor Dan.
Yeah, I don’t think I could’ve lived like that for much longer no matter how much I talked about how much I loved this town and living out on the farm where I’d grown up. I would’ve snapped eventually. Kirsten couldn’t have come a moment sooner as far as I was concerned!
I stepped into her office. I didn’t bother knocking on the door or anything these days. She looked up and smiled when she realized it was me.
“Hard at work?” I asked.
“You know it,” she said. “I’m trying to convince the board that they shouldn’t cut our budget, but it’s going to be difficult.”
“So what else is new?” I asked.
