Dirty White Candy, The Beginning, Book 1

by Anita Cox

  “Come on in, Candy.” Linda stood in the doorway. “I was beginning to think you were afraid of the one-on-one sessions.”

  I followed her into her office, swiftly taking a seat.

  “I wasn’t afraid of the sessions. I just read through the document too quickly. On the signature page, I assumed it was the standard closing statement and signed. It was stupid, considering that I sign contracts all of the time.

  “Yes, that’s happened before. So, what do you think of therapy so far?” Linda sat across from me, leaning back looking more relaxed than I preferred.

  “At first, it seemed like a way for you to get free live porn, to be honest.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I worried she might be offended.

  “And now?” She was expressionless.

  “Now, I feel quite the opposite. I’m starting to feel more knowledgeable, more free. I’ve come a long way in a short amount of time.”

  “Yes, you are one of my rare cases. See, for most people, their sexual hang ups come from other mental issues, family issues, abuse and such. Yours only come from marrying as a virgin, and having a less than communicative or vivacious partner. The sex was boring and you accepted that. Now that you know there is more, you’re willing to explore.”

  “I am willing. I’ve actually experienced more in the last few weeks than I ever have.”

  “You’re reaching orgasm frequently now?”

  “Yes,” I admitted looking at the floor.

  “Do not look down. Be proud. Look me in the eye.”

  “Yes, I’m having more frequent orgasms. They’re more intense as well.” I fought to maintain eye contact. It wasn’t easy. I was still embarrassed talking about sex.

  “How do you feel in group?”

  “Feel?”

  “Yes, how do you feel about performing sexual acts in a room full of people?”

  “I don’t know. I always feel so nervous when we begin that I think I’m going to throw up. But it gets easier each time. David is very nice and thoughtful, which makes the experience nicer.”

  “Yes, and I want you to know that it is normal for you to crave release together in private. Many of my students get together outside of class to explore without the pressure of group.”

  I thought about this for a moment. “I am confused, though. I know people go to therapy for sex addiction and promiscuity. Here we are practicing promiscuity.”

  “Candy, people come to someone like me for numerous reasons. Promiscuity can be an issue. Failure to create and foster emotional bonds and relationships can be a problem if you’re addicted to sex. The purpose of your treatment is to help you overcome your apprehension about sex and to gain knowledge and confidence. So that’s where our therapy sessions will go. If you start acting out in dangerous ways, therapy for you will change. This is a controversial area in psychology. Not all therapists would agree with what I do.”

  “I see.” Like watching strangers perform whatever sex act you wish?

  “Does this bother you?”

  “No. Not really. I’m more focused on my own growth at the moment. I want to experience it all, new things. I am just now, in my early thirties, discovering what I like.”

  “What new experiences have you had since our first appointment?”

  I swallowed hard. It was therapy. She was a doctor. I could and should be honest. “Well, I had sex with a woman for the first time. David and I have had sex, as you know. I also have had sex with a neighbor of mine this past weekend. I guess you can say I’ve been a bit of a whore.”

  “We don’t use that word in this office. It isn’t healthy. Candy, you are a young, single and attractive woman who hasn’t had decent sex until very recently. It’s natural for you to do these things, to be a sexual being. Be sure to use protection at all times so as not to contract or spread STDs. Other than that, this is just consenting adults pleasuring each other, and while some of society doesn’t have a healthy view, you would be surprised how many people do.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

  “There is a large section of society that get together for the sole purpose of having sex with strangers. There are websites where like-minded people can find each other for casual sex or to live out sexual fantasies. Most of these people are responsible and understand their needs and desires. They take action instead of harboring pent up frustration and suffering from lack of release.”

  “Really?” Wow. I tried to imagine a world where people just got together for pleasure.

  “Did you enjoy your sexual experience with another woman?” she asked.

  I sat back in my chair, not wanting to answer. I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “Yes, very much.”

  “And you’ve climaxed and enjoyed sex with men as well.”

  “Of course.”

  “I think homework would be good for you.” Linda stood from her chair and retrieved a business card from her drawer. “Here are two websites. At first, I just want you to review them. See what people are doing, what they like. Then, if you’re comfortable, you can create your own profile to find others to meet.”

  “Like for sex?”

  Linda smiled. “Yes, Candy. Most people will meet for coffee or a drink first to see if there is any chemistry. If you start a profile, I would suggest mentioning that you’re new. There are a lot of couples who will be happy to meet you and to guide you slowly. Look out for the single men, unless you know self-defense or carry a weapon. You’re not the largest woman in the world and we don’t want to endanger you. That’s why I suggest a public meeting first. If someone gives you an uneasy feeling, then you part ways without any sexual contact.”

  “Uneasy?”

  “There is significant scientific evidence to confirm that when someone gives you the ‘creeps’ it’s generally for a good reason. That’s your brain’s way of warning you that you are detecting something that isn’t right. You need to follow your gut instincts, especially since you’re venturing into unknown territory. While I’m here to assist you in your sexual freedom, it would be irresponsible of me not to inform you of the risks involved.” Linda was now leaning in, elbows on her knees as she spoke.

  I had yet to address one item on my list. It sat getting damp in my sweaty palms. Now I had a business card with two web addresses on it to find booty calls. It just seemed ludicrous.

  “Why would I contact these strangers on these websites for sex? Why wouldn’t I just learn how to find it on my own?” I asked.

  “You can. The difference is, these people are seeking sexual partners only. They are not seeking a girlfriend or a wife, though some couples do maintain a permanent girlfriend and sometimes reside with them.”

  “Like polygamy?”

  “Similar. The girlfriend recognizes her position in the relationship. The couple is married, she is not.”

  “I see.”

  “Everyone’s relationship is unique to them. We don’t judge. We explore. It is important to understand that what might be right for you, may not be right for others and vice versa.”

  “I quit masturbating.” I blurted rather suddenly. It was the first item on my list and one I wanted to address.

  “This concerns you?” Linda leaned back again.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, you were masturbating out of necessity. Since others have been doing that for you, you haven’t felt the need. It’s quite normal, especially if things are tender from vigorous sex.”

  “Is there any way to avoid that irritation?”

  “There are a whole host of lubricants available. Be sure to shop for water soluble versions as they will not break down condoms. But condoms can create irritation as well. You can purchase lamb skin condoms or latex free condoms. Some women find less irritation with those, especially combined with a water based lubricant.”

  Linda was so clinical when discussing this, and I understood why, but it didn’t make it any less surreal.

  “What if lubrication isn’t, um, isn�
��t an issue.”

  She smiled. “Can’t hurt to add some more. Your own personal lubricant breaks down and dries quickly. Again, vigorous sex will create some irritation. I would be concerned if it didn’t. Be certain to be checked by your OBGYN twice a year instead of annually to check for anomalies. However, be honest with them about your sexual partners and expect their disapproval.”

  “Yeah, I expected as much.”

  “I do have colleagues I can refer that understand it is the twenty-first century. If your doctor becomes an issue, do not hesitate to ask for a referral. Now, do you have any other questions?”

  “I have a whole list of them, but I think some of them are moot now. I am concerned about one thing, however. I watched a porn and the guy was very rough with the girl, then while having sex the other day, my, uh, friend pulled my hair and confined me. Both times, I was very aroused, even though there was an air of violence to it. Does that mean I have some sort of issue?”

  Linda smiled. “I’m happy to see you thinking seriously about your sexuality. Your feelings are quite normal actually. You are a successful woman, an executive. You live on your own and have to make all of the decisions and have all of the control. It’s only normal to become aroused by someone having control of you for a short period of time. It allows you to let go. They take the wheel, in a way. When you find someone you trust, you may want to try being tied up.”

  My stomach flopped. I remembered John having my hands held down above my head. I was helpless and I loved it.

  “Remember to have a normal life and friendships too, Candy. Don’t allow your determination to explore your sexuality overrun your life. You have to continue to foster your non-sexual relationships as well. Inevitably, you’re going to want to find a mate again. It’s inherent in all of us.” Linda looked up at the clock. “Time is up for today. But don’t worry. We have group tomorrow and you have a standing Tuesday appointment until the end of therapy.”

  Group tomorrow meant I would see David again. I certainly enjoyed being naked with David. A smile spread across my face. I thanked Linda and went home.

  DIRTY WHITE CANDY

  Back at home I filled my tub. Group was tomorrow. David was tomorrow. I enjoyed David immensely. Maybe it was that he was in the same situation and he understood me. Maybe it was that we both felt tremendous having sex together, when we’d both been made to feel less in the past. Whatever it was, I looked forward to seeing him and kicked myself for not having his information before.

  I settled in the tub, this time using oils instead of bubbles. The lavender aroma was relaxing and the oil, one of Trina’s products, made my skin feel fantastic. The bottle lacked an ingredient label, so I had no idea what was in it other than lavender oil.

  Once the water started to cool, I forced myself to get out of the tub. In my comfy sweats, I curled up on the couch with my laptop and mug of hot cocoa. I scanned through emails and trolled through the social networking sites.

  Craving a cigarette, I grabbed my purse. Right on top was the card Linda gave me. I lit a cigarette and stared at the card. Why were two web addresses so intimidating? I smoked and stared, like I could intimidate the card as much as it was intimidating me.

  “What the hell,” I announced aloud. I put the web address in. The site popped up and asked for my zip code. Once I put in the 5 digits, a page opened with hundreds of profiles. Figuring there was no harm in looking, I ran a search for couples seeking single females. I became frustrated when I discovered that I couldn’t open the entire profile until I created one of my own. I guess that made sense, for privacy reasons.

  I didn’t have to use my real name, or a headshot photo, so I decided since I could remain anonymous, I would start a profile. I tried several different usernames but everything I came up with was already taken. As a jest I typed in dirtywhitecandy and it was accepted. Great, now my username was Dirty White Candy. Good thing my name was Candy.

  I searched through some of my most recent photos. I had a few sexy pictures Stacy had snapped on a post-divorce celebration to the Bahamas. I had a great tan and I was wearing a pearl white bikini. Using software I already had for my job, I blurred my face and uploaded it to the site.

  Finally, I was able to view entire profiles. There were a lot of couples looking for single females. I had probably searched through fifty when I had a notification on the screen. I clicked on the icon. It was a message from a couple stating they’d love to “sample some candy.”

  Another notification popped up. Apparently there was an instant messaging feature and someone wanted to talk. The little cat face of the instant messaging icon blinked at me, taunting me. I swear I heard it call me a chicken. I clicked the accept button.

  Hello, Ms. Dirty White Candy. How are you this evening?

  I giggled. How did I go from this lame woman who had never even used a toy to Dirty White Candy?

  Fresh out of the bath, smelling of lavender, on this site for the first time. This is Candy, who am I speaking to? I set the laptop down and ran to the kitchen. I needed a glass of wine. Once I had a glass, I hurried back to the living room.

  James and Janette here. We are graduates of Linda’s program. Perhaps you’ve heard of her?

  Holy shit? How did these people know I was seeing Linda? I stared at the computer, startled that they might know me or recognize me somehow. I must have taken too long to answer.

  Don’t worry, ma’am. We don’t know who you are. Linda contacted us and told us to look out for a new single female with a great sense of humor. She thought we might be a good start for you, if you are one of her people. We’ve been through her program and so we understand what it’s like to start off. Considering your username, we thought you were her.

  A wave of relief hit. I’m sorry. That shocked me a little. I am from her class and I am very curious.

  A reply soon came. This contained their phone number. This is Janette’s cell. We are going to be at the bar on the corner of Lexington and Whales Friday at nine if you’d like to meet for a drink. She will be wearing a red shiny top and black boots. If you have questions in the meantime, don’t hesitate to text. We know this is intimidating and we can take this as slow as you would like.

  My heart raced. They were setting a date up for me just like that, but I didn’t have to go. I didn’t have to show. They would be there whether or not I showed.

  Thank you. I will think about it. I am new to all of this. A lot more curiosity than bravery on my part so far.

  What was I doing?

  Goodnight Dirty White Candy.

  I closed out the site. Holy shit. I had a date…with a couple. Was I ready for this?

  It was getting late. I needed to go to bed but thoughts of a sexual escapade with a couple had me roused. After retrieving my toys, I sprawled out on the bed and closed my eyes. I fantasized about the couple, taking her red top off and caressing her body, licking and sucking every part of her while his firm hands caressed me.

  Using my little silver bullet, I slid it between my legs as I pictured him entering me from behind while I went down on his wife, bringing her to climax. It didn’t take long for me to orgasm.

  I had to do this. I wanted to do this.

  MEGAPHONE

  It was time for group. I hadn’t gotten much accomplished as I had been so damned distracted thinking about my first couple, and the fact that I would be seeing David. Every time I opened a file on my laptop, all I could do was envision myself in different sexual circumstances.

  When David arrived, my heart leapt. He grinned at me, eagerly taking a seat next to me. Damn that man looked good in khaki pants. He had taken the extra step to wear cologne. I inhaled deeply, heart racing at his smell.

  Once everyone was there, Linda led us to a separate room with only one bed. There was a couple standing in front of the bed. She was in lingerie and he was in silk boxer shorts. There was another woman standing behind them wearing tight leather pants and matching leather shirt. Her boobs looked as if they ma
y burst out of the shirt at any moment.

  “Today you will learn how to be vocal. Most or all of you are afraid to make pleasurable noises during sex. You will also get a minor taste of dominant submissive relationships as well. Now, if you’ll grab a chair and form a circle around the bed, taking a seat next to your partner. Feel free to chat with your partner, however, I will not tolerate joking about what you see going on. I know humor is a healthy way to deal with an uncomfortable situation, but I will not tolerate jokes at the expense of our guests.”

  We all did as she asked. I wanted to reach out and grab David’s hand.

  The lady in the leather suit instructed the man to bend the woman over his knee. “Smack her ass, but only a lightly.”

  He gave the girl a light smack on her bottom. She didn’t seem to mind.

  “Oh no, she’s been a naughty girl. You have to make it count, like this.” The leather cladded woman gave the woman in lingerie a firm smack in the ass that made her jump. A red mark instantly appeared. “Do it like that on the other cheek.”

  The guy smacked her.

  “Now rub it in a bit and smack her again.”

  He did as he was told. The ass smacking and rubbing continued for a few moments while the woman in leather called her dirty names.

  “That doesn’t look like much fun to me,” David whispered.

  I shook my head.

  “Stand up, you dirty whore.” Leather woman wasn’t being very nice.

  The woman stood as she was told.

  “Pull her bra off and feel her breasts.” The man unhooked his partner’s bra and massaged the woman’s breasts. She leaned her head back in response.

  “How do they feel?” Leather woman asked.

  “Nice,” he commented.

  Leather woman took a paddle and smacked the man in the ass. He bit his lip.

  “I need more information, Mr. Dooley.”