Always (With Bonus Material) (Always & Forever Book 1)

by Kindle Alexander

  Kane struggled for air, taking shallow breaths as he kept his eyes focused on Avery's tombstone. The words he wanted to speak wouldn't come; his mind was so muddled, he couldn't think. It was all he could do to hold himself upright in the chair. Could Avery know what he was thinking? He needed to say the words out loud, wanted them to be heard. Needed to tell Avery how much he loved him. He was so afraid of losing the bond he'd felt here, so close to his soul mate. The connection was all he had left of Avery.

  Closing his eyes, he tried to open his heart and mind. He didn't think about his struggles for breath, he ignored the vise-like pain gripping his chest and held on to his thoughts of Avery, knowing Robert wouldn't let him stay long. He had to do this, had to tell Avery. After a moment, he felt the first stirs of Avery. His Avery. The cool air faded away. In its place was warmth that caressed his soul. He felt Avery's presence there with him, this time stronger than any time before. He could feel Avery missing him as he missed Avery, and he smiled.

  "I love you," Kane said as the weight of his body slumped forward. His voice somehow seemed richer than before. In an odd sensation, Kane felt lighter and Avery's presence grew stronger. His chest no longer hurt, his vision was clearer than it had been in years as he floated weightlessly, experiencing a comforting peace he'd never known before.

  In the distance, he could see a brilliant white light. Something wasn't right. Movement below him caught his attention, drawing his focus away from the peacefulness of the light. He watched Robert running, but not from the ground where he'd been earlier, but from where he now hovered above. That confused him. Almost like watching a movie playing before him.

  His gaze followed as Robert ran toward the toppled wheelchair. Robert yelled as he grabbed the frail body, flipping it over. The realization dawned on him that he looked down at himself, but he wasn't afraid or frightened. He felt…serene, as if he'd been wrapped in a blanket of tranquility. Kane watched curiously as Robert began CPR on his old lifeless body, which caused a sharp tug to pull at him, drawing him back down toward the empty shell Robert so frantically worked on. Kane resisted. He felt no connection there, but the pull was too strong. No…No…No! He slowly floated back down, away from the warmth of the light until there was nothing but darkness.

  "Babe, open your eyes." Kane swore he heard Avery's voice, stronger than ever, and he tightened his eyes, keeping them closed, trying to hold on to that precious sound. "I'm right here, Kane. Open your eyes. Reach out and touch me."

  Kane inhaled deeply and held the breath inside his body, trying to keep Avery's scent with him. He had to be dreaming, but this was the best dream he'd had since Avery died. He braced himself for the expected discomfort at the thought of Avery's death, but the pain didn't slice across his heart or wake him up sobbing in grief. Kane gave a diminutive smile in relief. "I miss you."

  "Oh hell, Kane, open your eyes. I'm not allowed to touch you until you look around, but you're killing me. I need my hands on you, I need to touch you," Avery barked. Kane sensed him close to his face, felt his breath caress his skin, and he fought the tears. This was the way Avery had always woken him in the mornings, right up in his face. Slowly, he cracked his lids. That same intense bright light he remembered from earlier blinded him and had him shutting his eyes tightly again.

  "Try again, Kane. I'm here," Avery coaxed. A dark shadow passed over his face and Kane cautiously opened his lids again to see Avery grinning down at him, only inches from his face. It wasn't the Avery he regularly dreamed about, the one he'd grown old with. Instead, he was young. All Kane could do was stare. His Avery was such a beautiful man. Kane reached up and pushed that stray piece of hair off Avery's forehead just like he'd done thousands of times over their lives together.

  "I don't want to wake up from this one." Avery gripped his arms tightly and leaned all the way in to kiss him. Kane parted his lips for Avery's and was rewarded when his beloved's tongue slid across the tip of his before Avery's soft lips pressed firmly against him in a tender kiss. Just as Kane relaxed into the kiss, Avery pulled away.

  "I've missed kissing you. I tried to be patient and wait. That bullshit about a minute up here is like a lifetime down there is all wrong. These last few months felt like years waiting for you, but it's all right. You're here now. Sit up. You'll adjust to the light faster if you sit up," Avery said, and out of nothing more than Avery lifting his arms to pull him forward, Kane came to a sitting position and a celestial world opened to him. He saw his backyard times about a trillion. There were no words to describe the beauty before him.

  "Where are we?" He had to ask, but somehow he already knew the answer.

  "I think you know, babe," Avery said and smiled at him.

  "You're so young." His eyes were back on Avery's face, then his hands followed and began exploring Avery's distinct features. Avery felt so real. He wasn't sitting next to Kane; instead, he was crouched down on the balls of his feet. Avery started to stand, slowly pulling Kane to his feet, barely allowing him time to get his balance. Avery took Kane into his arms, love and contentment filled his heart as his husband embraced him tighter than he ever remembered. Kane held onto Avery as if his life depended on this embrace.

  "I told you we were meant to be together," Avery whispered into his hair.

  "I miss you so much."

  "Me too, but not anymore." Avery's voice grew excited. "You have to listen to me, Kane. This isn't a dream. I'm not going anywhere. You've left Earth, and you're here with me now. Do you remember when I told you how I knew from the beginning you were meant for me? How we were destined to be together? I was right, and I always knew it! I always told you, but I don't think you believed me. And guess what else, you got part of the afterlife right, but you got lots wrong, too," Avery announced, trying to pull free of Kane's hold. He had a death grip on Avery, and as far as Kane was concerned, his man wasn't leaving his arms. If he held on as tight as he could, maybe he could keep Avery with him in this dream world forever.

  "Interesting how you're so hard-headed even in this life." Avery chuckled. "Kane, let me go. This is the transition. I have so much to show you." With a slight struggle, Avery managed to slip free of his hold, but kept their hands linked together.

  "I'm going to kiss those lips I've missed so much, but you can't grab me again, not until later when were alone, I don't have the willpower to deny you. Oh, and from what I understand, that's like a million times better up here. So I really can't wait until later. Damn, I missed you!" Avery's lips took his in a quick chaste kiss…then another. Kane eagerly kissed him back, but his husband's hands were on his arms, keeping him from drawing Avery to him again.

  "Come on, come with me," Avery said, breaking their kiss.

  "What about the children?" Kane was hesitant to leave this spot for fear the illusion would dissipate.

  "They're fine. I promise. I've seen bits and pieces of the future. Autumn has five children, she marries the doctor who treated you. Robert struggles a little more, but I've met his other half. Remember the handsome honor guard from my funeral?" Avery asked. Kane just stared blankly at Avery, not knowing what to say. A slight smile curled the corners of his husband's lips and an amused look crossed his handsome face, and he just kept right on talking. "You'll like him, I promise. Come on, Kane." So classically Avery, never giving him a chance to catch up with his own thoughts.

  Kane looked over his shoulder and reluctantly took a step forward with Avery, ignoring the dull draw still tugging at his back. Behind him, the pain and darkness from before still existed. In front of him, light and hope enticed him into taking more steps. Okay, Avery was the true motivator in getting him moving. The more steps he took, the less the dark vortex pulled at him, and the more clarity finally settled inside his soul.

  "Are you saying we do belong together? This is heaven?" Kane tightened his hold on Avery's hand. Avery glanced over, giving him an indulgent look.

  "You aren't listening to me, are you? Funny how that trait came across, too. I hope the dot
ing on me attribute came with it. I need some of your tender lovin' care." The flowers and calla lilies actually separated as they stepped through the fragrant grassy meadow. Kane loved that, never fond of the idea of seeing a precious bloom trampled on.

  Avery gave him a wink as he came to a stop halfway through the field, in a spot where they were surrounded by the flowers he adored, finally letting Kane take him back in his arms. "Listen to me, babe. This is important. Parts you got right, and parts you got wrong. The only thing I'm saying right now is that I got us right, just exactly like I told you over and over again. You should have had more faith in me. You were meant for me. You're my other half, my soul mate destined to walk with me through eternity. You're my always and forever. Now that you're here, I'm complete again. The rest is easier to understand if I show you instead of tell you."

  Avery was gone from his arms again, pulling him forward. "Oh, and you're hot. I mean, you were a good-looking older man, but this is just how I remember you the first night I met you. Damn, I'm a lucky soul. And don't look at me like that. I'm working on the language, but apparently that's my cross to bear, it's what I brought forward with me."

  The light and the meadow faded and a heavenly realm opened into something Kane again had no words for. Never could he have even imagined something so awe-inspiring and stunning. And his Avery was right there beside him, wrapping an arm around him.

  "See? It's so much better here. We're completely accepted and loved. That bullshit hate down there has some of the big guys really pissed off." Avery grinned sheepishly. "And I seriously need to watch my language, don't I?" Avery chuckled, pulling him against his body.

  "I love you, Kane. Now let's go begin our always," Avery whispered as familiar lips descended on his.

  The End, or The Beginning, whichever you prefer

  Forever, Robert Adams’s story is coming soon.

  (We’re sure trying for later in 2019.)

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  The Life Saver

  Birmingham, Alabama, 1960

  Paulie used the short sleeve of his dark T-shirt to wipe at the annoying sheen of sweat forming on his brow. He pulled a perfectly cooked pie from the hot brick oven he’d had custom built into the kitchen of his downtown Birmingham pizzeria. The silver end panel caught his reflection, reinforcing his permanent frown, one years in the making—four years to be exact.

  He scrubbed a flour-covered hand over his face as a pang of loneliness stung his heart. His desolate soul deeply mourned the loss of the son he’d been so proud to have… Just the thought built pressure in his chest. He’d lost so much. First, his son had died a hero’s death serving in the United States Army, then a few years later, he lost his beloved wife, Marjorie. The lonesomeness reared its head often and weighed heavily on his shoulders, but this particular day was worse. The burden of the loss dragged at his soul, almost too much to bear. Even after all this time, nothing had changed, and it damn sure hadn’t gotten easier. He missed them both.

  “Paulie! I need that large pepperoni.” His long-time waiter and good friend Sal barked at him, “I don’t know why you’re staring at yourself like that. You ain’t gettin’ any prettier.”

  Sal’s boisterous cackle faded as he left the ordering window. Paulie didn’t even have it in him to attempt a clever comeback. Damn, he had it bad. He suspected all the paper heart decorations hanging around his small restaurant and the happy kissing couples made his lonely heart suffer more today. Marjorie always made a fuss over Valentine’s Day. He’d gruff and grumble and say it was a silly holiday. Paulie shook his head. Boy, he’d do just about anything to kiss her lips one last time.

  Paulie lifted his eyes to the heavens. “I need you to give me a purpose or take me from this earth.” His voice was little more than a raspy whisper and most definitely a plea of help from his creator.

  “Paulie, you gotta see this one,” Sal called out from somewhere in the dining room. A second or two passed as he waited for a merciful death. He had thought perhaps he’d get something quick. Maybe a heart attack. Surely asking for death had to mean something, but when nothing happened, he turned toward the order window to see a young man standing there staring back at him.

  “Sir, I’m looking for any work you can give me. You don’t have to pay me. I’ll work for dinner,” the young man said in a cultured southern voice. Paulie looked the guy over and something struck him as odd. The guy was even younger than he’d thought at first glimpse. An extremely clean-cut good-looking kid with khaki slacks, a short sleeve plaid button-up shirt, and close-cropped hair… Yet, he was dirty. His clothes looked like he’d worn them for days. The odd mix had Paulie furrowing his brow as he stepped closer.

  “How old are you?” Paulie asked.

  “We don’t need anyone right now, Paulie,” Sal yelled from the back of the restaurant.

  “We ain’t talkin’ to you. Ignore him. How old are you?” Paulie asked, this time grabbing a hand towel to wipe over his hands before dragging it over his sweaty brow.

  “I’m eighteen, sir.”

  “And what’s your name?” Paulie asked, coming around the dividing wall to get a closer look at the kid.

  “Kane Dalton, sir.”

  “You sure got some good manners,” Paulie said, still eyeing him closely. The guy stared him straight in the eyes, his gaze unwavering. His comment hadn’t prompted a response from Kane, but two things happened simultaneously, the juke box stopped playing and a loud rumble came from Kane’s stomach. The kid was hungry. “Are you looking for a free meal?”

  “No, sir. I’ll work for anything you’ll give me,” Kane said with a small, single nod.

  “When was the last time you ate?” Paulie asked, not sure where that question had even come from.

  “It’s been a day or two,” Kane confessed. This time there was no “sir” added, and Kane lowered his eyes. He looked ashamed. Paulie had a puzzle on his hands.

  “Go on back to the kitchen. You can get a bite to eat then do the dishes. We’ll go from there,” Paulie said, and Kane’s face lifted, relief clear in his eyes.

  “Thank you, sir!”

  Paulie didn’t say another word. He pivoted around, going back for the kitchen, without a doubt that Kane would follow.

  “So what’s your story, kid?” Paulie asked. It was two in the morning, and Kane was on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor and wall behind the oven. The kitchen was cleaner than he’d ever remembered seeing it before. The kid hadn’t stopped working since he’d filled his belly with almost a whole pie and more water than he’d ever seen a person drink before.

  “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about it,” Kane said, rearing back to sit on his heels as he dipped his hands back in the soapy water bucket, wringing out the sponge. He didn’t look over at him, but Paulie could hear the pain and uncertainty in those quietly muttered words.

  “Parent’s put you out?” Paulie asked after a minute, apparently he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Kane didn’t respond. Instead, he worried his lip as he continued to scrub. “You ain’t on that dope, are you?”

  “No, sir,” Kane immediately shot back, his direct stare momentarily meeting Paulie’s, showing him the truth of the declaration.

  “You don’t look like the type. So what’s a clean-cut good boy done so bad that his parent’s put him out of the house? You get a girl with a child?” Paulie’s brow drew into a hard V, trying to understand this kid better.

  “No, sir.” That drew the first smile Paulie had seen on the kid. Kane glanced his way again as if sharing some private joke until he realized what he had done and looked immediately away. Kane’s hands froze mid-scrub and his neck flushed, his cheeks growing red. Paulie swore he saw shame on the young man’s face again. Paulie stood there, staring at the kid. He was a twenty-year retired Navy veteran. He had seen this before.

  “Your parents in the ministry?” Paulie asked, n
arrowing down the kid’s story with his questions.

  “Yes, sir,” Kane looked up, eyes wide with surprise, but he nodded before he scooted backward several inches and started scrubbing in a new spot.

  “Yeah, I figured. You’re one of them homosexuals, aren’t you?” Paulie could see Kane’s profile from his position and watched intently for the boy’s reaction. He couldn’t have missed the panic shown clearly on the young man’s face and in the stiffening of his spine even if he’d not been watching so closely. Kane tossed the sponge back in the bucket and wiped his soapy hands on his trousers.

  “I’m sorry to bother you. I can leave,” Kane said, taking fast steps toward the back door, his head bent in disgrace.

  “Nah, you ain’t goin’ nowhere. That higher being… You know, he works in mysterious ways.” Paulie kept a relaxed posture and tried to infuse his words with the same. Kane made it as far as gripping the handle of the back door before he stopped and slowly looked back at Paulie. He figured that was all the info he needed to dig out of the kid tonight. “I got a place out back. It’s not much, but it’s just me now. You can stay there until you get on your feet. The pay ain’t great, but I could use the help in here. Sal’s a whiney ass old man. I needed to get rid of him fifteen years ago. You’ll have to put up with him. I should probably give you a raise just thinkin’ about you havin’ to deal with him.”

  He slowly turned off the lights in the kitchen and scooted past the skittish kid to guide him out the door. It never ceased to amaze him how a parent could put a child out for some of the stupidest reasons, when all Paulie wanted in the world was to have his son and wife back.

  “Thank you, sir,” Kane muttered from several feet behind him. He was glad Kane had followed him. Paulie hadn’t given him a choice really, but the kid could have walked out and headed the other direction, driven by all the shame he’d seen on his face.