Help Our Heroes: A Military Charity Anthology

by T. L. Wainwright

  “See, it's not just my stomach that talks loudly.” His smile makes my stomach react again, just in a very different way than the hunger did.

  Shit. I need to get that under control because there is no acceptable reason to be finding my houseguest attractive, even if he is stupidly sexy. No, not finding him hot would be the better option.

  “I made dinner.” His smile grows as I step into the kitchen and the smell hits me, making my stomach growl again.

  “You cooked? I thought you said you didn’t cook?”

  He walks to the oven and opens it, pulling a large cardboard box from inside. “Cook … ordered pizza and brought it home … same thing.” He puts the large pizza box down and opens the top. The smell intensifies, and it makes me feel like I haven’t eaten for days. I don’t even wait for an invite before I grab a slice, the cheese dripping from it in large globs.

  I moan when I take a bite, closing my eyes just to savour the taste. The spices all blend to give the tomato sauce a rich flavour, one of the best I've ever tasted on a pizza. I try to pick out all the different ingredients but my stomach wins out with its demands, and I take another bite just trying to fill it.

  When I open my eyes I can see Ralph staring at me, his eyes slightly out of focus and staring at my mouth. I wipe at my lips to see if I have anything on them and the movement seems to pull Ralph out of his staring and he looks away quickly, crossing the kitchen to grab cans of coke from the fridge.

  “So I managed to get somewhere to stay.”

  I swallow and grab the coke from his hand. “That’s great. Did housing come through?”

  He scoffs. “No, and I don’t think that will be happening soon. The woman there doesn’t like me.” He rolls his eyes, and I suddenly want to know what he did to put his name further down the list. “But my friend Handy says I can move in with him. The room won't be ready for a few days so if you don’t mind me staying here until then I would be eternally grateful.”

  So much information but my mind sticks on one thing. “Yeah fine… but Handy?”

  Ralph laughs, his eyes lighting up in a very unappealing way. Yeah, and I'm a liar too. “Charles, but no one calls him that.”

  “Well now I need to know this story, Handy isn’t exactly your usual nickname. Spill.” I take another bite of my pizza and enjoy listening to Ralph talk.

  “Oh god. I swear I want to forget the memory of it, but it's been stuck in there for too many years. It was one night after a party, maybe eight years ago, and we were all staying at John’s house, that’s my brother. We didn’t want to go back to base while we were so drunk so we were just sleeping where we fell. John was away training in Belfast, he’s a teacher, and I had his key, so of course, his house pretty much became where we ended up most weekends. There were about ten of us all lying around on the floor in sleeping bags, we never stayed in John’s room because that was off limits, and the chatter had died off. I don’t know if Charles thought we were all asleep but suddenly Eddie sits up and puts on the floor light. He curses up a storm, and we all sit up and see what he's pissed off at.”

  I’m mesmerised by the way Ralph is speaking. Since I met him, he’s always had an air of sadness around him. It's understandable after the way his life is going, but tonight it feels different. Maybe it’s having a place to finally go, or perhaps it's spending time with his friend. Whatever it is I'm glad that he's feeling happier.

  “That’s when we see Charles, the only one who isn’t sitting up, and he has his dick in his hand jacking off. Apparently, Eddie was lying next to him, and the motion had alerted him to what Handy was up to. He didn’t even notice that we were all staring at him and none of us knew what to do. When the groaning started, we all knew that shit had to stop. It was then that he got the name Handy and he's never lived it down from there. The funniest thing is he doesn’t remember any of it.”

  I start laughing right along with Ralph, his humour infectious. I can hear how much he cares about his friends and it makes me feel better that he has people like that in his life. “So is Handy your best friend?”

  “There is a group of us that have been friends for a long time, but yeah, Handy is my closest friend. He is the one that’s the most like me so I can completely be myself around him.”

  “Are you out with everyone?” My eyes widen as the question slips out. I'm heading into the too personal region again, and I'm not sure how Ralph will react.

  “I haven’t been the whole time, but I joined after it was technically allowed, so I never had to hide it for the job. I kept it to myself for a long time because I was never sure how people would react. It might’ve not been an issue with the army, but it was still a problem with a lot of my colleagues. Now I'm out, and I don’t care who has a problem with it.”

  I can't imagine having to hide who I am for my job, knowing that you can't be yourself in case they don’t have your back when you need them. “Do you get any hassle for it?”

  “A little, but it's mainly only the new macho men that join. You know the kind, the ones who think only real men should be in the armed forces. It only takes one night out, and they keep their mouths closed.”

  I screw up my forehead, not understanding why a night out would change the meatheads minds.

  “Alcohol tends to make them run their mouths and then that mouth tends to bleed. Once you take them down, it's hard for them not to think of the gay guy as a real man.” He winks, and I burst out laughing.

  It's not that hard to picture Ralph using that large body to teach someone a lesson. He has muscles on top of muscles, his power evident even as he sits here eating pizza with me. I look down at my own scrawny body and feel a little bit envious of his build. I could work out every day for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t be able to build any muscle definition. I'm not made to be muscly, my slim tight body not changing no matter how much I try.

  “Where did you go?”

  I look up to see Ralph staring at me. I hate it when he gives me his full attention because it makes me want to tell him everything, and that feeling is strange. I don’t have many friends because I'm not exactly a people person, and my brother is probably the only person I can speak to about everything. I love my parents, but they are those people who were born old, their old-fashioned views on everything not helpful when I need help. I can't complain though because when I came out, they didn’t even bat an eyelid, just telling me that’s great and that I needed to tidy my room.

  “Aiden?”

  I get up from the table and grab the now empty pizza box. “Sorry. I was just thinking about how … fuck it sounds so stupid.”

  Ralph’s hand on my shoulder has me stilling. He turns me slowly until I'm facing him, but I don’t look up, avoiding his gaze. “Okay so now I'm intrigued. What can be that bad that you are hiding?”

  I take a step back, needing to put some distance between us. I think this is the closest I've been to Ralph and the heat from his body is driving me to distraction. That’s before the smell of his soap or shower gel hits my nose, because when that happens, I feel myself swaying towards him. I shake my head trying to get some blood to flow back up to it and away from my now half hard cock. Shit, I can't be getting an erection in front of Ralph.

  “I was just thinking that you would be able to protect yourself easily. I've never been able to add bulk to my body no matter how hard I work at it. I'm pretty sure my brother was born with muscles, but I take after my mum. Unfortunately, that means I have the body of a teenage boy.”

  Even if I couldn’t see him do it, I would feel the heat from Ralph’s scrutiny as his eyes graze over my body. My skin erupts in goosebumps and it feels like his hands are tickling over me even though he isn’t anywhere close. I can feel my dick fill and expand, and no matter how much I will it to stop I can’t. The urge to grab Ralph and kiss him almost overtakes me, and when he speaks, he doesn’t help my problem.

  Chapter Twelve

  Ralph

  I'm blatantly checking him out,
and I know he knows it. His cheeks go redder the longer that I stare at him, but I can't pull my eyes away. He thinks he has the body of a teenage boy, but all I can see is a man. He doesn't have a large build, he's right about that, but his body is toned and sexy. Tight in all the right places and powerful in a less obvious way. I've always thought I looked like a typical jock. My body has always been bulky, and when I started working out, it didn’t take long before the muscles began to show. It makes me stand out when I'm in a club and I've never lacked attention, but the downside is that people don’t want to talk. I'm the alpha that men want to climb, but when it comes to the next morning, they are gone.

  “I don’t see a teenager.” Shit. My voice comes out thick and husky with lust. I need to stop this. My brain is on board with my internal instructions, but I can't seem to get my body under control. My eyes still roam over his body like they wish they were my hands and my dick is aching behind my zipper, and my skin is tingling from imagining touching Aiden. I'm suddenly thrilled I'm wearing denim and not jogging bottoms.

  “You must be the only one.” Part of me is grateful that Aiden sounds as though he's having the same reaction as I am, but the other part wishes he would tell me to stop perving over him so I could get a grip of myself.

  “I would bet all the money I have that I'm not the only one, it's just not possible.” Shut up, shut up, shut up. I need to engage my filter and stop this pathetic flirting. The last thing I need is to jump into bed with Aiden. He deserves more than to be a rebound fuck.

  “Thank you.”

  Holy fuck. The breathy way he says those two words has my cock twitching. It's that reaction that has some common sense coming back to me, and I step away, smiling as I pretend the last five minutes didn’t happen. “I'm sure that you have guys all over you when you go out.” I turn to the table, pretending to clean it while I get my body under control. I need to get laid, preferably soon and hard.

  “Go out, whats that?” Aiden laughs as he goes about cleaning up the already spotless worktop.

  “You don’t go out?”

  “I'm not exactly a social butterfly. I’ve never really had a lot of friends, and truthfully, nightclubs aren’t fun when you're on your own. All the friends that I used to go out with have settled down, and we’ve drifted apart. I'm the last man standing.” He tries to make it sound like a joke, but there is a tinge of sadness to it.

  “I would offer to take you out one night, but I don’t want to scar you. Handy is a rather tame story.” This makes him laugh, and I hope that it's eased a little of his pain.

  “Are you the only gay in the town?”

  I'm starting to enjoy Aiden's sense of humour. He might step over the line into private information sometimes but he's sassy and quick, and with just enough fire to make me want to fight with him. It's one thing I never had with William, that spark, the need to fight, maybe that's why we ended. I was always happy that we didn’t have so much passion between us, worried that the spark would fizzle out if it burned too bright, but maybe it was too far the other way. I thought our sex was fantastic, but now that I think about it it probably wasn’t that great. I couldn’t even tell you what William's favourite position is, and since I was continually on top, I know he couldn’t name mine.

  “Dan is bi, but other than that, yes, I'm the only gay in town. Not the only one on base obviously, but the only one in our group.”

  “Dammit. So, is Dan hot?”

  A surge of red-hot jealousy nearly floors me, and I have to hold on to the table to stop myself from dropping to the floor. What the hell is that all about? I'm not a jealous person, it's just not the type of guy I am, but I feel it now when Aiden talks about Dan. “Hot if you are into cocky fucks.” Jeez, can I sound any more bitter?

  “I'm into any fuck at the moment.” His laughter doesn’t take away the shock of his words, but I am determined not to react.

  “Then Dan might be the guy for you.”

  “Wow, this conversation has taken a bizarre turn.”

  This finally gets a laugh from me because he's right, it started with my tale about Handy, and now I'm pairing Aiden up with Dan.

  “I'm beat and gonna head to bed. I will be working most of the day tomorrow so feel free to borrow my car again if you need it. All your bags are in the front room of the garage if you want to start moving them out, if not no rush.”

  That’s a really good idea. The more I can get to Handy’s before I move in the better. It saves dragging Aiden out on the final day. I can easily take a taxi or Uber to Handy’s house. “Thanks. I might try and get the bulk of it out your hair. I hate imposing on you since you know, I'm imposing on you.”

  “It isn't an imposition. I had a room, and you had a need. It's just a bonus that your good to look at, and you pick up your dirty towels.”

  I raise my eyebrow at his comment but he ignores me.

  “So no rush to get out, take your time. I need to sleep though. Thank you for dinner.”

  He smiles and heads out of the room, leaving me standing there struggling to say something.

  Arsehole.

  * * * *

  I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but it’s the only way I'm going to survive the next few days here with Aiden. I drop my head to the cold tiles as I rub the shower gel into my hand before wrapping it around my cock. Even just that simple touch has me closing my eyes, a shiver going down my spine. I don’t want to think of Aiden as I stroke along the smooth skin, but it's his face that appears without invitation.

  He has that little smirk on his face that turns my crank and he's staring at me with heat in his eyes. I add pressure to my hand as I imagine pushing Aiden against the wall so I can feel his small body against me. He may think he looks like a young boy, but to me, he is all man. His muscles look like they would be tight and lean, that quiet sort of power that I love. I haven’t seen him without his clothes on but that chef’s jacket was fitted enough that I can use my imagination perfectly without any problems. He looks as though he could comfortably pin me down without any effort.

  I groan as I imagine that it's his steady hand that's rubbing my cock, the pinch on my tip making my breath stutter in my chest. God, that feels so good. It's been far too long since I felt the touch of another guy, and even though this is my hand, using Aiden as wank material is getting the job done. As much as I know I shouldn’t be looking at Aiden as anything other than a nice guy who helped me when I needed it, but the truth is I would give anything for one night with him. Shit, I would be happy with an hour with him. My arse cheeks clench at the thought of the hard fuck that I imagine he would give me. The power, the sweat, the pure fucking passion that would spark between us, that’s what almost takes me over the edge into orgasm.

  Pinching my tip, I try to breathe through the need to come, but the pain that I crave sends me over the edge. Oh god. My hand moves furiously as steam after stream of cum hits the shower wall. My knees threaten to buckle and I have to lock them so I don’t end up in a heap on the floor. My muscles turn into rubber as I add more weight to the wall and slide/twist myself until I'm sitting on the floor of the shower, the water hitting the top of my head. I'm probably sitting in the remains of my release, but I just can't find a single ounce of energy to care. I will wash off once I recover from my mind blowing orgasm.

  Sex with William the last few months before I left, shit if I think about it it was closer to maybe six months, had become boring. Twice a week we would have sex but it felt as though we were just going through the motions. I thought we were going through a typical lull in our sex drive, I mean don’t most couples go through that? At times though it felt like I was just using his body to get off like it was a step up from my hand. Maybe that’s why he needed someone else? Did I just not do it for him anymore? God, did I push him into the arms of another guy because I didn’t please him?

  My eyes start to burn as tears build in them. I’ve spent the last few days making sure I didn’t feel anything, not willing to show anyone
how much I'm hurting, but apparently all it took for it to catch up with me was a good orgasm. I laugh but it doesn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. I don’t bother to brush them away, just sitting there under the falling water allowing them to try and ease my pain.

  How could I not see that William was becoming bored with me? I put everything down to just regular relationship drama but apparently, I was wrong. I think I may have been more committed to the relationship than he was because I never once looked at anyone other than him. He was my everything and now my life will never be the same. I've lost everything. My home, the man I love, and the life I wanted. It’s not how I pictured my home-coming to be. I didn’t exactly expect fanfares or anything, but being wrapped in William’s arms had been high on my list of wants.

  So as I sit on the floor of the shower, I allow myself a moment to mourn my losses, to finally feel the heart-wrenching pain that has been sitting under the surface, and I cry like I haven’t done in years.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ralph

  I grab the last black bag out of Aiden’s car and take it inside Handy’s house. I've been piling them up in his dining room, not wanting to get in the way of the cleaning of his spare bedroom. I swear it doesn’t look like he's done anything since the last time I was here but he assures me that I'll be able to move in in the morning.

  “Ralph?” I turn to see Dan walking in the front door. I smile before heading over to hug him. I try to ignore the pissed off feeling that's fighting to come out. It's not his fault that Aiden was joking about him being hot. What I didn’t tell Aiden is that Dan is very hot. He has those boyish good looks that make him a hit with men and women, and I hate him a little for it. He's never without company, and because he's a genuinely nice guy, he treats every one of his partners with respect.