Forever Yours, Casey

by Cassidy K. O'Connor

“Thank you for doing this. I would still be in there if it weren’t for you. It will take me a while but I promise I’ll pay you back.”

  “Let’s worry about that later. Since I’m personally responsible for you and you pissed off some pretty bad guys, I’m moving you and Kacee to the hotel with me. I’ve rented a two room suite, you two can stay in one and I’ll be in the other.”

  My face pales.

  “Now would probably be a good time to tell you I have a son as well.”

  “Is he mine, too? Are they twins?”

  “Oh no, sorry, he is seven. His dad left right after he was born. He decided fatherhood wasn’t for him.”

  “It’s a good thing that room has two queen beds then. Look, I’m not going to pretend I’m okay with all of this. Let’s take it one day at a time and see how it goes.”

  I nod, grateful he isn’t going to turn tail and run.

  “I sent your mother ahead to get the kids packed and don’t worry, I’m not going to reveal who I am to Kacee right away. We can do it later.”

  My shoulders sag with relief. I hadn’t figured out how I was going to break the news to her yet.

  Ten silent minutes later, we pull up to my building. Casey jogs around and opens my door; I freeze as I climb out.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Dirk is in the black car across the street.”

  His head swings around in time to see Dirk smile and wave before peeling out.

  “This kid is going to be a pain in my ass. Jepson mentioned he’s eighteen now, that means he’s not in school anymore, right?”

  “He graduated last year so there’s no reason for him to go there.”

  “Good, we should probably call both kids’ schools and ask them to be aware of the case and the restraining order we’re going to file against Dirk for Kacee.” He grabs my hand and squeezes, “I promise, Brittany, nothing is going to happen to any of you while I’m here.”

  I hide my smile; his worry gives me hope that he will forgive me.

  He follows me up the stairs. I open the door and get crushed by Austin. With him holding on I shuffle in and let Casey inside. Mama gives me a hug and yells to Kacee that I’m home. She runs out of her room and stops dead.

  “Daddy?”

  Chapter Nine

  Casey

  Time stops…my heart stops…this beautiful girl that has my same black hair and blue eyes slaps her hand over her mouth and looks shocked.

  “Kacee Elizabeth, you know who this is?”

  With tear-filled eyes, she nods.

  “Explain yourself right now.”

  “How about we all sit down and get comfortable first?” Brittany’s pale face turns to me; it takes her a second to process what I said. She nods and I follow her to the living room.

  Kacee sits on the edge of the recliner biting her nail. I know exactly where she got that habit from. Briefly I wonder which habits of mine she inherited.

  “Mama, did you do this? Did you tell her about him?”

  Maria shakes her head emphatically.

  “No one told me anything. Last summer when we spent the week at Great-Grandma’s, I was playing hide and seek with Austin. I hid in her closet, the lights were out and when I shifted around, I knocked some shoe boxes over. When I turned on the light to clean them up, I found a bunch of letters addressed to you.” She stands up and starts pacing in front of us. “I was flipping through them and I saw they were all from the same person, the mail stamps on them showed they had been coming since I was born. I couldn’t help it, I opened them and read every one.”

  Some of my anger toward Brittany dissipates. I feel a little better that she hadn’t been reading my letters all these years and ignoring me.

  “You’ve been writing to me all this time?”

  “I never forgot you. But I don’t understand, why didn’t your grandmother give you the letters?”

  “I’m afraid that’s my fault.”

  We all turned surprised eyes to Maria.

  “Brittany, you were so depressed those first few months, you cried all the time. I knew those letters would make it harder for you to stay away. I did what I thought was best.”

  Brittany is shaking her head, the confusion written all over her face.

  “Kacee, why didn’t you tell me about the letters when you found them?”

  “I stayed in that closet for hours reading those letters over and over. It didn’t take me long to figure out you had taken off on him while pregnant with me and you named me after him. It was surreal watching my dad grow up through these letters. The pain, love and desperation were almost painful to read.”

  I look down at my shoes, it’s embarrassing now to hear someone else talk about the things I wrote in there.

  “You never talked about my dad. I could always pick up on the pain it caused you just by me mentioning him, plus at first I felt greedy. I didn’t want to share him with anyone else.”

  Her voices cracks on the last word and Brittany stands up and hugs her. Part of me wants to do the same but I don’t know if any of us are ready for that. Once their tears have slowed down, Kacee starts again.

  “Once we got home, I looked him up on the internet and found out everything I could about him. I found an engagement announcement and articles about him running for District Attorney. I realized he had a whole life of his own and I had no right to get in the way.”

  At that statement, I stood. “You would never be in the way. Now that I know about you, I promise I will always be a part of your life.”

  She runs into my arms and at first I stand there stunned, then finally my brain kicks on and I wrap my arms around her.

  “Are you my daddy, too?”

  Austin is sitting on the floor next to the couch, his little face staring up at me intently. I’m not sure what to say, but luckily Brittany steps in.

  “No, baby, he’s not.”

  His sad face looks to the floor.

  I move Kacee back so I can kneel next to him and get his attention.

  “The way I see it, you have been here helping take care of my daughter so that makes you very important to me. It would make me very happy if you would let me be your friend.”

  “Are you going to take them away from me?”

  My heart breaks for this confused little boy. I know exactly how it feels to be abandoned and I don’t want him ever thinking he will be.

  “Actually, I rented a really big suite at a hotel and I thought we could all go stay there for a while and get to know each other.” Austin still looks unsure whether he can trust me. “We can order room service whenever we want and they have a big pool with a slide.”

  His face lights up with excitement, I think he’s past his fear.

  “Come on, Austin, let’s go finish packing.”

  I smile at Maria as she grabs his hand and leads him to his room.

  “Thank you for doing that, I’ve tried to get his dad to see him but he’s not interested.”

  “His loss is my gain.”

  She turns back to Kacee and clears her throat.

  “Do you have the letters here?”

  “No, I didn’t want Great-Grandma to find them gone so I took pictures of them and put them back.”

  Relief washes over me instantly. I would be mortified to have her whip them out so Brittany could start reading them. I bared my soul in those letters and I am too emotionally raw right now to go through that.

  “Kacee, can you finish packing so we can leave soon.”

  She nods shyly and leaves; being alone with Brittany this time is even more awkward. My mind is at war with my heart. Part of me wants to be angry and hate her for everything she has denied me all this time. The other part of me wants to hold her and kiss her like I have been dreaming of for the last fifteen years. I’m not an idiot, I know I need to let go of the anger because I’ve already missed enough, but I’m not sure I can yet.

  “I can’t believe you’ve been writing to me all these years and they never t
old me. I get why they didn’t in the beginning but now, after all this time?”

  “I don’t think either of us can be mad at them, they did what they thought was best for us. It was shitty and wrong but I get it.”

  She steps toward me and rests her tiny, pale hand on my forearm. How badly I want to crush her against me. I can read the longing in her eyes, and I’m sure she can read the pain mixed with desire in mine.

  “Everyone’s packed and ready to go.”

  The spell is broken as Maria stands in the doorway with the kids. Austin is carrying his teddy bear, smiling from ear to ear. He looks excited about our adventure. Kacee stands there casting hopeful glances between her mother and me.

  I grab Kacee’s duffle bag from her and reach for Brittany’s bag sitting by the couch. It’s a quiet walk to the car. We say goodbye to Maria with the promise that we will check in often.

  After the bags are packed, I slam the trunk shut and pause at the sight in front of me...my family sitting in the car waiting for me. I have a whole other life back home with an awesome fiancé and the job I’ve been working toward my whole life, but right in front of me is the love of my life, my daughter and a boy I could easily love as if he were my own. Shaking my head, I clear my thoughts. I don’t have time to figure out how I feel about any of this. I have to work on the trial and keep them safe. No one is going to hurt them again.

  Chapter Ten

  Brittany

  In less than seventy-two hours I’ve been arrested, spent the night in jail, been reunited with the love of my life and found out my daughter has known about him for a long time. I can’t be too upset over the first two since they are the reason Casey is here now.

  He’s not the boy I left behind. His muscles have filled out and the stubble on his chin gives him that sexy edge he didn’t have as a teenager. The kids are immediately enthralled with him as well. The drive to the hotel is full of questions from everyone. I sit quietly and take it all in, struggling to hold back tears. I’m awed by how easily he is accepting Austin, treating him no differently than he is Kacee.

  He tells them all about their grandparents and how excited they are going to be to meet them. My stomach twists thinking of the reunion. They hated me all those years ago, and now that they know I kept their grandchild from them, they will likely despise me.

  I’m pulled from my miserable thoughts when we pull up to the hotel and our doors are opened by valets. The kids look at me quizzically, I chuckle and tell them to grab their stuff and get out. My meager income has never allowed me to take them anywhere near this fancy, their dad’s side of the family will quickly spoil them to luxuries I could never give them.

  Casey passes money to the valet once the cart is loaded. I shiver when his hand lands gently on my lower back, I can feel the heat through my sweater.

  “Should we get some dinner before heading up to the room?”

  “Sure, but I insist on paying our part of the bill.”

  “Absolutely not, tonight we are celebrating. Plus, you have paid for everything for the last fifteen years. Let me take a turn.”

  I nod and look away, trying to hide my relief. The hotel restaurant is decadent to say the least, I’m not sure how many meals I could have managed here.

  The kids can barely contain their excitement as their chairs are pulled out for them, and Austin giggles when the waiter lays his napkin across his lap. We order drinks and Casey orders a couple of appetizers. My mouth waters while reading the menu. I haven’t had lobster in a very long time, not to mention a perfectly cooked steak.

  “So kids, is your mother as good of a cook as I remember?”

  I cock an eyebrow at him over my menu, we both laugh at the look of horror on both kids’ faces.

  “Mom, you used to be able to cook? What happened?”

  “Very funny, Austin.”

  “Actually, Kacee takes after you and is quite good in the kitchen, she master’s pretty much every recipe she tries. I think she learned out of desperation to keep me away.”

  “Of course not, Mom.” She ruins this declaration by nodding her head yes to her dad.

  “Is everyone ready to order?”

  “Okay, guys, we’re celebrating our reunion so order whatever you want.” He leans over and whispers in my ear. “I know how much you like to eat so don’t even think about ordering the cheapest thing on the menu.”

  After his cheap shot about my cooking, it serves him right to treat me to a big dinner. Steak and lobster it is; I slap the menu closed with a definitive nod of my head.

  After everyone orders, awkward silence ensues, but luckily Casey is a born talker and quickly fills the gap.

  “So Kacee, tell me about school, what grade are you in? Have you started thinking about college?”

  I sit back contentedly and listen as she tells him all about eleventh grade and all her extracurricular activities. For a brief minute I let myself get excited about all of this.

  “It sounds like you have a lot going on so why were you at a place like the Haunt and on a school night no less?”

  His judging tone rankles me instantly. Kacee looks to me to answer.

  “If you would like to discuss my parenting decisions perhaps we can do that later?”

  “You’re right, I’m sorry. I can see you have done a great job and didn’t mean to sound harsh.”

  He turns to Austin, asking him how elementary school has been treating him. Kacee is chewing on a roll looking miserable, having two parents is going to be an adjustment for all of us.

  While Austin regales us with tales of his first grade adventure, we enjoy salads and dig into our entrees.

  Half way through the meal, I feel his hand squeeze my knee as he leans toward me. “Do you realize you are moaning every time you take a bite? It’s quiet but it’s definitely coming from you.”

  I choke on the bite I was trying to swallow, how mortifying. “I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve had a good piece of meat.”

  Now it’s his turn to make a choking sound. Score one for me.

  The rest of the meal passes peacefully. We order two desserts and share them between us.

  “Okay, guys, let’s get upstairs and get settled in. You still have school tomorrow.”

  All three of them give me sad puppy dog faces. Just what I need, another child. “Don’t give me those looks; you only have two more days before the weekend, then you can play together all you want.”

  “What time do we need to get up to get everyone to school?”

  “I’ll need to get Kacee up at 5:30 if we’re going to drive to school.”

  “Ugh, I forgot how early high school is.”

  “Lucky for me she usually gets herself up and off to the bus stop so I can sleep a little later.”

  “If you want to take a break, I don’t mind taking her in while you guys are staying here. It will give me more time to get to know her, too. I’ll grab some donuts on the way back then take Austin to school and you to work before going into the precinct for a bit.”

  I look to Kacee to see what she thinks and she gives me a small nod and smiles.

  “Sounds like we have a plan.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Casey

  The knock on my bedroom door pulls me from my thoughts, not that they were anything exciting. I was lying in bed contemplating the family sharing a suite with me. Kacee is amazing and I can see so much of myself in her. I was wrong to make that jab at Brittany, she has obviously done a great job raising her. Austin is hysterical and has a huge heart, I can’t understand why his father wouldn’t want to see him. Some bastards don’t deserve to be fathers.

  Then of course there is Brittany, she is as beautiful as ever and I ache for her as much as I did when we were kids. That’s a lie, I want her more now. Her body has filled out in ways only a mother’s does and my hands itch to touch her. Her soft moans while she ate drove me to distraction. Thank god for my jacket or things would have gotten really embarrassing when we stood up t
o leave.

  I grab a shirt in case it’s one of the kids and I can’t stop the smile when I open the door to a nervous looking Brittany. I drop the shirt behind the door and open it wide. As hoped, I hear her breath hitch and her eyes drop to study my chest and stomach. I may not have huge, bulging muscles but my six-pack will hopefully be enough to tempt her.

  She bites her lip when she gets to the happy trail disappearing into my pajama pants, that was always one of her favorite parts.

  “Are you guys settled in okay?”

  “Oh, um yeah, the kids are showered and in bed.” She smiles and holds out a rather large book, “I packed Kacee’s baby album, I thought you might want to see it.”

  I instantly sober. Here I am trying to tease her and she is bringing me something important. I grab it and rush over to the couch. I sit and see she is still standing in the doorway.

  “You can come in; I want to hear all the stories behind these pictures.”

  I move the book between us and open the cover. My breath is taken away by the pale sixteen-year-old Brittany in various pictures holding her ever growing belly.

  “Grandma insisted on taking pictures throughout the pregnancy. She swore one day I would be glad she did. I hate to admit it but I will always be grateful for everything her and my mom did for me. I’m embarrassed to say there were days I would lay in bed and cry. I cried for you, for me, for the little girl who wouldn’t know you. Then she would move inside me and I would remember I needed to be strong for her and I picked myself up and kept going. Not that Grandma gave me much choice. Even when my due date came she still had me at the table working on my GED.”

  I shake my head, frustrated already, “I don’t want there to be bitter or resentful feelings inside me, but I admit they are there. I should have been there helping you get through this. You shouldn’t have been the only one who’s life had to change, you must resent me for continuing on.”

  “No, not at all,” She grabs my hand and turns pleading eyes to me, “We left so you could have everything you deserve. I admit in the beginning I didn’t agree with my mom. We would get into screaming matches and she would actually unplug and take the house phone with her so I couldn’t call you. It wasn’t till my first day of school here that I finally got it. People treated me like a pariah, I only lasted a week before I begged her to let me take the GED test instead. I was so miserable in the beginning, I’m glad you didn’t have to go through all of that.”