Forever Yours, Casey

by Cassidy K. O'Connor

  He reaches for my hand across the table, the pain evident in his eyes.

  “I am so sorry you have had to work two jobs and do this on your own. You never wanted that life for your mother and I sure as hell don’t want it for you now.”

  I pull my hand away, perturbed at his audacity to make it seem like I have been suffering without him.

  “I appreciate that but if you think about it, I am doing really well for a girl with a GED and no college degree. Did I have regrets, moments of anger? Sure, that’s what makes me human. The way I look at it I never would have had those two beautiful children if I hadn’t gone down this path.”

  “Beautifully said. I didn’t mean to imply you had a bad life.” His sheepish look soothes my irritation.

  “No offense taken. Now, tell me about your fiancé.”

  The fork stops halfway to his mouth, let's see how he likes the spotlight being on him instead.

  “Well, we met at a charity event about six years ago. She works for the Mayor’s office and hopes to run for office one day herself.”

  “She sounds ambitious,” and way classier than me. “When’s the wedding?”

  “We haven’t set a date yet.” He has the good sense to look sheepish.

  “Wait, I read that you have been engaged to her for a few years.”

  “You read that? Have you been checking up on me?”

  I feel the blush immediately; I hadn’t meant to give that away. “No, maybe Kacee mentioned it?”

  “Come on, admit it, you Googled me.”

  “I may have looked you up while I was at work this morning. I was curious.”

  That warm, strong hand reaches across the table for my hand again. God, he needs to stop touching me or it’s going to really be a struggle to keep my hands off him.

  “You can ask me anything, you don’t need to read articles.”

  “Okay, why haven’t you married her yet? Most women would not tolerate such a long engagement.” I bite my lip, desperate to know the answer and desperate to not hear it.

  “It hasn’t felt right. We aren’t a perfect love match and she knows that. I’m sure part of her reason for staying is because I am likely the next District Attorney. Not to say she is using me, I know she loves me. She has been pushing for a date from the beginning and that was when I was still a newly hired lawyer at the bottom of the food chain.”

  I hate to admit his answer sparked hope deep inside me. If they aren’t a love match, do I still have a chance with him?

  “Well, I guess it’s time to get you back to the office, plus I have another date to get to. I was thinking of taking Kacee out for ice cream, do you think she will like that? I mean I know she’s fifteen but they still like ice cream at that age, right?”

  The slightly panicked look in his eyes is endearing. “Stop worrying so much, she already loves you. Be yourself and everything will happen naturally.”

  “You’re right, I got this.”

  I think he’s saying that more for his benefit than mine.

  We walk the short distance back to my office and stand awkwardly at the entrance. What is the proper goodbye in this case?

  “I guess I better get inside. You’ll pick up Austin at three and be back here at five for me?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  He gives me a mock salute and a cheeky grin before heading to the parking garage for his car. Part of me wants him by my side so he can’t leave but damn, it’s a nice sight to see.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Casey

  Am I seriously sitting in a car line waiting to pick up my daughter? It’s surreal to think this person that is half me has been walking around and I had no idea of her existence. My cell phone vibrating in the cup holder distracts me from searching her out in the crowd. With a resigned sigh, I hit the hands-free button and hear my mother’s voice come over the car speakers.

  “Casey, is everything all right? I called the office and your assistant said you’ve taken a few days off. I called Monica and she said you flew out for an emergency. How can you take off without letting us know? I was so worried.”

  She finally takes a breath long enough for me to cut in. “Everything’s fine, an old friend called and said they needed help. I’m in Utah for a little while, I’ll be home as soon as this is wrapped up.”

  I stare expectantly at the dashboard, confused as to why there is silence. She never lets there be silence.

  “Mom, are you there?”

  “Oh, yes dear, something distracted me. I have to run, let me know when you are coming home.”

  Without a love you or goodbye, she hangs up. I have never gotten off the phone with her in less than thirty minutes. A knock on the passenger window distracts me. My breath is taken away by Kacee’s beautiful face smiling in at me. It’s still a shock to see her. With the exception of her eyes and hair, she is the spitting image of her mother. I hit the unlock button and wave her in.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  That is so weird to hear, it’s probably best to play it cool. “Hi, how was your day?”

  “Okay, there’s a lot of rumors going around about what happened at the club the other night but nothing I can’t handle. I got a B on my chemistry exam,” she waves the papers at me. “So, what are we going to do till Austin gets out?”

  The changes in subjects almost give me whiplash. I’m relieved she is handling rumors so well, I glance at the papers from one of my most hated subjects in school.

  “If you are up for it, I thought we’d go get some ice cream and catch up?”

  “Sounds good, we can go to Hannagan’s a couple of blocks over, they are the best.”

  I punch the name in my GPS and take off. “I was thinking we could play a version of twenty questions to get to know each other, are you up for it?”

  “Sounds fun, I’ll start. Star Trek or Star Wars?”

  I like that her mind goes to geekdom first, that’s promising. “Star Wars for sure.”

  “Oh thank god, I was really hoping you were a cool dad.”

  We laugh but now I’m nervous. This suddenly feels more like a job interview. Maybe this was a bad idea.

  “Reading or video games?”

  “I never really had time for video games, I went from high school to college to law school to the law firm. I like reading when I have time though.”

  “That’s the saddest answer I’ve ever heard.” I look over at her crestfallen face, she actually looks sad for me.

  “What’s that look for?”

  “Did you have any fun growing up?”

  “Of course I did. Actually the year with your mother was the best but I had other fun, too.”

  “Will you tell me about her, the girl she was in high school?”

  “Of course, but first I have a very important question for you - chocolate or vanilla?”

  “Neither, cookie dough.”

  “Ooh, nice. I’m a chocolate brownie guy myself but I can respect cookie dough. Let’s order then I’ll tell you about your mom.”

  After a short wait, we get our ice cream cones and sit in a booth.

  “Okay, spill the beans. I want to hear about her.”

  “She saved me from a life of loneliness. Your grandparents are very serious people; they have always had high expectations for me. I spent a lot of time studying or with tutors, and they always pushed me to be the best. I didn’t make friends easily so you can imagine my surprise when your mom sat down at my lunch table and started talking to me at the end of our sophomore year.” The ice cream melting down my fingers is momentarily forgotten as I think back to that day for the thousandth time.

  “She said she had heard I was fluent in Spanish and she was wondering if I could tutor her. At first I looked like a complete idiot staring at her. I was awestruck by her and couldn’t find any words. After a minute, I finally found my tongue and managed to squeak out a yes. We agreed to meet in the library after school. In my dorky hastiness, I ran right to Senora Vasquez, the Spanish teacher,
to find out what I should be helping Brittany with. Imagine my surprise when she tells me she doesn’t know why Brittany needs a tutor. She was top student in the class and ahead of most of the other kids. As you can imagine, I thought she was playing some kind of prank on me.” I pause to lick the dripping ice cream and get it back under control. Kacee is leaning forward, impatiently waiting for me to continue.

  “Angry at myself for getting my hopes up, and angry at her for jerking me around, I stormed into the library and demanded to know what her game was. I’ll never forget her wide-eyed stare, the blush creeping across her cheeks making the caramel brown of her eyes stand out even more. Her words stole my breath and made me fall into the chair across from her. She said she thought I was cute and wanted to get to know me. She also knew I was number one in our class and a loner so she made up the excuse to get to know me.”

  Kacee slumps back against the booth laughing uncontrollably. With one eyebrow quirked, I wait for her to finish her obvious enjoyment of my awkward youth.

  “I’m sorry, I’m trying to picture Mom's face when you caught her and she had to admit the truth. That is a nightmare for any girl, let alone Mom who is so shy and introverted.”

  “That’s where you are wrong, there was nothing timid about her. I had watched her from the first day of high school. She was friendly to everyone and people loved her. Well, everyone except your grandparents. They thought I deserved someone better than her. I think they were wrong; I was never good enough for her.”

  The smile fades from my face as I think back on all the times my parents treated her poorly. No wonder they took off when they found out about the pregnancy. They knew my family was never going to accept it. My parents are as much to blame for us being in this situation as we are. All that anger I had at them years ago bubbles back up.

  “Earth to Dad, I think I lost you there.”

  “I’m sorry, I got stuck in the past for a minute.” The alarm on my phone beeps, alerting me it’s time to get Austin. “Well, that’s enough reminiscing for today. Let’s go get your brother.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Brittany

  The end of a work day has never come slower before; I can’t concentrate on work knowing Casey is picking me up soon. It took everything I had not to sigh and giggle when I was interrogated by Sharon after lunch. I’m trying to be realistic, I know he is going home soon, but I can’t help it. I’ve never stopped loving him and now he’s here, in the flesh and looking so much better than in my dreams.

  Second by second, the minute’s tick by till it’s finally five o’clock. I’ve never packed up so fast in my life. With a wave to my boss, I rush to the elevator to find Sharon waiting patiently for me.

  “Oh good, I caught you, I thought we could walk to the train together.”

  “Actually, I will be getting a ride for the next few days.”

  Her smile widens, “Just as I thought.”

  The elevator doors close behind us and I’m trapped. She’s acting innocent but I know she’s dying to see who’s picking me up. She acts like I’ve never dated before...technically I haven’t in all the years I’ve known her so she’s not completely off base.

  We exit the building and come face to face with my family, and the sight is beautiful. Austin is sitting on the trunk of Casey’s car while the other two huddle around him. They are intently playing something on their cell phones, I can hear them egging each other on. Sharon sticks by me as we walk up and interrupt the fun.

  “Am I interrupting?”

  “Oh hi, Britt, this round is almost over, give us a few more seconds.” His eyebrows drawn together intently focused on the game. All at once there is shouting as Casey throws his hands in the air claiming to be the champion. Is he really gloating that he beat two kids?

  “Hey, Mom, did you know Dad has never played a video game before? I checked his phone, there wasn’t one fun app on there.”

  I hear Sharon’s gasp. Shit, she heard Kacee say Dad. So much for keeping this low key for a while.

  “Okay everyone, say bye to Sharon and let’s get home.” That little bomb is going to drive her crazy all night. I smile at her as Casey holds my door open for me. I’m evil, I know.

  “Did everyone have a good day? I’m glad to see you all survived the afternoon together.”

  Both kids start talking at the same time, excited to say what they did with their new hero. Have they really been starved for male attention? Sitting back, I relax as they take turns recounting every conversation I missed.

  “Dad says you were quite the hottie in high school.”

  Austin giggles and I can’t hide my shock as I look at Casey, who has the good sense to look embarrassed. I’m not sure I want him regaling the kids with my high school exploits. His electric blue eyes bore into mine, “I still think you are.” His barely whispered words send tingles straight to my lady parts. He did not just say that. I glance back, the kids apparently didn’t hear him, maybe it was wishful thinking.

  “Okay, we’re here. Grab anything else you may need then we’ll head back to the hotel.”

  The apartment building comes into view. I promised more baby memories, I hope he’s ready for this. While the kids collect a few random items, I grab a large box out of the hall closet and set it on the kitchen table. After three more trips, I’ve filled a duffel bag with multiple photo albums.

  “I hope you were serious about the albums because I have a ton of pictures and videos.”

  He whistles as he looks in the box, “You weren’t kidding, were you? It’s a good thing I’m here for a while.”

  After flinging the duffel across his back, he hoists the box and nods before heading downstairs. Showoff. The kids follow behind with bags in hand as I lock up, not knowing when we’ll be back.

  The drive to the hotel is animated and carefree, for a few minutes I get a glimpse into how life might have been had I stayed all those years ago.

  “I was thinking an early dinner then homework then movie time. The hotel was going to have a VCR delivered to our room today.”

  “Sure, that sounds fun. It’s been a while since I watched the tapes.”

  “Great, I’m going to follow the bell hop up to our room to drop all this stuff off. Why don’t you guys get a table and order an appetizer.”

  I follow a very excited Austin and Kacee into the restaurant. They are definitely enjoying our new arrangement.

  “Good evening, Mrs. Sanders, will your husband be joining you for dinner?”

  The kids look at me with laughter in their eyes. If only the hostess knew how badly I wish Casey was my husband. “Yes, he’ll be down in a few minutes.”

  I shrug at the kids and follow her to a table in the back corner. Once we’re settled in and drinks are ordered, I finally get up the nerve to get serious with the kids.

  “So guys, what do you really think of Casey? Is all of this okay?”

  “He is awesome!”

  “Austin’s right, he is so much better than the guy I’ve been picturing in my head for the last year. I can see why you fell in love with him, he’s perfect for you.”

  The look of adoration on their faces is more heartbreaking than anything else. I’m afraid they’re getting too attached. “You guys do know he’s going to have to go home soon, right? He has a job and a fiancé back home.” Their crestfallen faces make me instantly regret saying anything. Am I trying to convince them or me? “I’m sure he’s going to want to set up some kind of visitation schedule and you have another set of grandparents to spoil you, too.”

  “No offense, Mom, but if they don’t like you, I don’t want anything to do with them.”

  Kacee’s loyalty is admirable. “Don’t judge them too harshly. They were only trying to do what was best for your dad. Just because they are adults doesn’t mean they are perfect, we all make mistakes.”

  Before we can say anymore, I see Casey heading toward us. Changing the subject, I distract the kids by talking about the menu.

&nb
sp; “Sorry for the holdup, guys, my secretary called and needed me to work out some issues with my other cases.”

  “I didn’t even think about that; I feel terrible taking you away from other people who need your help, too. If you need to head home, I’m sure Mr. Jepson can handle everything here.”

  His strong hand covers mine and squeezes till I look up at him. “I am not going anywhere. You need me and I want to be here. Plus, what’s the point of being a partner in a law firm if I can’t delegate work? It’s not like anyone can complain, I don’t think I have taken a single sick day since I started there.”

  His beautiful electric blue eyes boring into mine send a shiver down my spine. I want to believe he isn’t sticking around because of Kacee. I so badly want him to say he’s here for me, too.

  “Now let’s eat up, there is a whole box of videos upstairs that we need to watch.”

  With the spell broken, I sigh and turn my attention back to my menu. Maybe I’ll drown my feelings in a big bowl of pasta.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Casey

  Sitting at dinner with Brittany and the kids, laughing and telling stories, is the most alive I have felt, well, probably since Brittany left. I realize now I’ve been living on autopilot, doing what was expected of me and going with the flow. That isn’t really fair to me or Monica, I seriously need to make some changes in my life.

  “Dad, we’re almost done with homework, ten-minute warning till movie time.” Hearing Kacee’s bellow from the living room has me shaking my head. I am grateful that she has taken to me so easily, being a teenager is hard enough without adding in a new parent. I can’t wait for Mom and Dad to meet her; they are going to love her.