Carrie Goes Off the Map

by Phillipa Ashley

  ‘Still riding the waves, I guess. They’ll be back later.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Carrie, realizing that Spike must have spotted her and homed in specially.

  ‘Why don’t you and Matt come over here tomorrow night? We’ll probably go down the beach, light a fire, hang out with a few beers.’

  ‘What time?’

  He laughed at her. ‘We don’t do time, Carrie. Time? Hey, just watch for the smoke.’

  She’d started to leave when he called after her. ‘You should try surfing. I think we’ve got a spare suit. I’ll get you on a board before you can think about it. What have you got to lose?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ she muttered, without turning round. She suddenly realized her heart was thudding. She fancied Spike. Who wouldn’t—faced with that ripped body and bad-boy smile? He also had the enormous advantage of being completely the opposite of bloody Huw, and there was something else attracting her to him too. It was the idea of hooking up with someone she’d only just met—of picking a guy up just because she could—that appealed to her. Huw would have been shocked, angry, and amazed. Carrie smiled. Surely this was what freedom meant, and it felt heady; exciting and scary all at the same time. Rowena had been right: this road trip was exactly what she needed.

  Chapter 20

  Later that evening, she was lying outside Dolly with a beer. Spike and his mates must have gone out, because Ron the van was nowhere to be seen. As Matt listened to his iPod and read some weird medical journal, Carrie flicked through a copy of Cosmo, hoping he wouldn’t see her unhealthy interest in an article entitled ‘Avoiding the Walk of Shame: Top Ten Tips for Your Best Ever One-Night Stand.’

  She hadn’t had a one-night stand since high school, and she wasn’t even sure that shagging Kieran after her prom counted. They’d done it in his parents’ bed, while they were away in Lanzarote, then he’d taken her home on the back of his scooter. No walk of shame there, although it had been embarrassing enough. After that, she’d gone out with a lad from work, but they’d always known they’d split up when she went to university. The next man she’d had sex with had been Huw—the only man she’d had sex with since, in fact. She closed the magazine with a sigh and lay back, gazing up at the stars. On Cosmo’s ‘one-night-stand-o-meter’ she rated a 0.5: ‘Have you ever considered becoming a nun?’

  Matt appeared overhead, blocking out the stars. The angle accentuated his height. He looked like Nelson’s Column with stubble. ‘Tea or bed?’

  ‘Oh, let me see now. Why don’t we be devils and have a nice mug of hot chocolate?’

  ‘I’m afraid we don’t have any hot chocolate, so it looks like our only option is bed.’

  She sat up quickly because she’d felt a kick low in the pit of her stomach. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant but it wasn’t comfortable either. It felt like a tightening, a tension. She wasn’t sure whether it was hearing Matt talking about bed or because she was thinking about sex at the time.

  ‘Do you want to sleep in the roof again or take the awning tonight?’ he asked.

  ‘I don’t mind.

  ‘I think you’ll be more comfortable in the roof,’ he said.

  ‘Okay, but you don’t have to make any sacrifices for me.’

  He grinned wickedly. ‘I’m not. There’s more room in the awning. My feet will stick out of the roof bed.’

  ‘You take the roof then,’ she said as the light from the lamp flickered between them. This wasn’t going to be as easy as she had imagined. Then she thought of Spike, and how she’d felt drawn to him so quickly. She also thought of the years she’d spent being faithful to Huw and how meaningless that now seemed. Nothing was going to stop her doing what she wanted.

  ‘Matt, this is a bit awkward, but I think it’s probably a good time for us to agree some ground rules. Earlier, when you asked if there was a third condition to me carrying on with the trip…’

  ‘Hmm.’

  ‘Well, we need to discuss another possibility that may arise.’

  He folded his arms. ‘Go on. It can’t be worse than you wanting to drive.’

  His eyes gleamed but she didn’t rise to the bait. ‘Okay. There’s no easy way of saying this, but Rowena and I had an agreement, a pact, and I think we should have the same deal.’

  ‘A pact? That sounds serious.’

  She knew he was laughing at her but she carried on. ‘Yes, a pact. Sexual ground rules for us both to stick to.’

  He blew out a little breath. ‘Sexual rules? Gosh, you girls do know how to have a good time. Bring them on. I hope they’re very strict.’

  Carrie wanted to throw something at him but she refused to be put off. ‘I think it will be easier if we get some aspects of this trip straight from the start. I’m sure you’ll be relieved to hear what I’m going to say, so I won’t mess about, I’ll just come out and say it… You see, Rowena and me, we arranged this trip for a break, for fun. After what happened with Huw, I decided that if I… we, that is, met anyone, we’d… well, we’d just go for it.’

  Matt was listening intently, as if she was one of his patients. She almost expected him to sit back, steeple his fingers, and peer at her over the top of a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles.

  ‘And if you don’t mind, I’ve met someone I’d like to get to know better and I was hoping we could stay here for a few days, maybe longer. I expect you have people you want to get to know better too. You do understand what I’m saying, Matt?’

  He looked at her gravely, as if he was going to tell her she’d caught something nasty, then his face broke into a smile.

  ‘Well, thank God for that!’ he said, blowing out a breath. ‘I was wondering how I was going to tell you this. You see, I’ve got the chance to go diving with some nurse mates from Exeter tomorrow. There are some fantastic dive sites on this coast and there’s a wreck not too far off Hartland Point.’

  ‘Oh. That’s great then. If you’re going to be busy too…’

  ‘It’s perfect. In fact, the weather forecast is pretty good all week, so I may not be around much. I emailed my mates this morning and a couple of them are on leave. Haven’t seen them for two years, so it worked out well in the end.’

  ‘Oh. Well. If you’re happy for us both to do our own thing…’

  Matt laughed out loud. ‘I thought that was the idea. My God, we don’t want to be joined at the bloody hip, do we? No disrespect, Carrie, but I can’t think of anything worse, and I know you can’t either.’

  ‘Absolutely. Nothing could be more horrible than having to spend all day with you.’

  ‘In that case, shall we get an early night, as we’re both going to be so active tomorrow?’ he said.

  ‘Good idea.’

  Matt picked up a towel from the table. ‘Right. I’m going for a quick shower before I go to bed. I expect you’ll be asleep when I get back, unless you’re staying up.’

  ‘Not if I’m going to be active, no. I’ll need my strength,’ she said. ‘I’ll see you in the morning, then.’

  ‘Not unless you’re an early riser. I’ve got to be out of here by seven.’

  ‘Seven a.m.?’

  ‘Yeah. My mates are picking me up first thing. I don’t expect you’ll see me until it’s dark.’

  ‘So you won’t be back for dinner?’ she said casually.

  Matt winked at her. ‘No, I won’t be back for dinner, and if your day goes as you’re obviously hoping, I’m sure you’ll have better things to do by tomorrow night.’

  Chapter 21

  When Carrie woke up, all she could hear was the cry of seagulls and the distant roar of the sea. It was a much hotter, calmer day than the one before, so she spent the day sunbathing, swimming, and listening to her iPod. The first few hours were bliss, lying in the shelter of the rocks on the beach with her bonkbuster and her music for company. It was just a shame
that Rowena was not there. She pictured her friend hanging out with the cast of HeartAche, maybe trying out the costumes. Rowena in scrubs… She suddenly wondered if Matt wore them at work and what he looked like.

  She was sitting outside Dolly, painting her toenails a gorgeous shade of shell pink, when she finally saw Spike’s van bumping across the field. It stopped outside the awning, a gaggle of shirtless people laughing inside as Spike poked his head out of the driver’s window.

  ‘See you tonight?’ he called.

  She tried to sound cool, which was difficult when you were wearing toe separators. ‘Yeah, sure.’

  ‘Bring Matt if you like. Lola here wants to meet you both.’

  A hand shot out of the window and waved. It belonged to an elfin-faced girl with wonderfully wild hair. ‘Hello, Carrie!’ she called.

  ‘Hi, Lola,’ said Carrie, waving back.

  ‘See ya later then!’ shouted Spike.

  Carrie felt a little knot of excitement in her stomach. Tonight looked like it was going to be a lot of fun.

  ***

  As the sun sank slowly over the sea, she saw Spike and his friends heading for the beach, armed with crates of beer and driftwood. Matt still wasn’t back and Carrie wasn’t sure whether she wanted him to come to the beach party or not. Spike had specifically asked him and Carrie felt uncomfortable about not including him. But she felt awkward about him being there, as if he might be watching her, judging her.

  ‘Well, tough,’ she said out loud as she wriggled into her best pair of shorts and the lace-up cami top she’d worn at the wedding. It was slightly too tight and made her look what her mum would have called buxom. Tonight, buxom was exactly what she wanted.

  She was surprised how nervous she was as she headed down to the beach, where smoke was already spiraling into the sky from the fire. Spike and his mates were standing and sitting around it drinking beer and smoking joints. They were all barefoot, so Carrie slipped off her flip-flops as soon as her feet hit the sand. Spike had his back to her as she drew near. He was wearing an oversized T-shirt and shorts. His calves were sturdy and strong and sprinkled with strawberry-blond hair. Her stomach was fluttering with nerves. She was so crap at this. So out of the loop. ‘Hello.’

  He turned and grinned. ‘Hi there. This is Carrie, guys,’ he said as the others waved hi with their bottles. He went on to introduce them all: Baz, Jim, Stig, and Lola, who close up looked so sporty, she’d probably been conceived on a surfboard. She reminded Carrie of a mermaid from a book she’d read when she was little.

  ‘Beer?’ offered Spike, leading Carrie closer to the fire.

  ‘Thanks.’

  Her arms were covered in goose bumps and she was grateful for the warmth. As he passed her a bottle, he ran his eyes over her body. She hoped he liked what he saw. After a day in the sun, she thought she looked good, glowing, and she realized why she fancied Spike so much. He made her feel sexy. Desired just for her body and absolutely nothing else, such as her brain or her bookkeeping skills. She hardly knew him and yet she felt a connection with him. Lust, largely.

  ‘Your mate not with you?’ he asked.

  ‘He’s gone diving with some friends. I have no idea when he’ll be back.’ Carrie didn’t want to talk about Matt and she didn’t want to think about him. This was her chance to start again. Free, casual, not expecting anything other than fun.

  ‘Maybe he’s decided to stay the night,’ said Spike.

  ‘He might have. Probably has. Where’ve you been today?’ she asked, desperate to change the subject.

  Spike gave something approaching a sigh of ecstasy. ‘Croyde. We caught some awesome waves. D’you want to come out with us tomorrow, or are you still making your mind up?’

  ‘Why not?’ she said, determined not to chicken out but knowing she was going to lose any ounce of mystique once she got on a surfboard. Not that she thought she had any mystique in the first place, but she was still going to take to a board like a stone. Spike held out his joint to her but she shook her head. Her one and only experience of weed at university had ended up with her dancing round the student union in her knickers.

  Spike shrugged. ‘No need to look so terrified. There’s always a first time for everything.’

  ‘It’s not the first time,’ she said.

  ‘I meant the surfing.’

  ‘Oh. Yeah. Sure.’

  He gestured to the sand beside him. ‘Come and chill out. Tell us what a nice girl like you and a nice boy like Matt are doing down here. Together. But not.’

  She told them as much as she wanted to about the road trip and her job on the farm, leaving out the details about her breakup with Huw. She also told them about Rowena and the acting, but mostly she listened to them talk about surfing, like it was the answer to life and the universe. The flames from the fire had died down by the time she saw Matt walking down the beach towards them. The sand was littered with empty bottles and roaches. She was feeling relaxed and mellow after finally succumbing to a few drags on a joint. Huw would have gone mad. He hated anything that smacked of hippiedom.

  ‘How was the diving, dude?’ she asked, stifling a giggle.

  ‘It was good,’ said Matt. ‘Sister.’

  Spike laughed. ‘You should try staying on the water rather than under it. Carrie here was worried you’d been eaten by a shark.’

  ‘There aren’t any sharks round here,’ said Lola, running her hands through her hair.

  ‘You look like a mermaid,’ said Carrie suddenly, not knowing why but feeling it was exactly the right thing to say at that moment. ‘A beautiful mermaid with a silvery tail.’

  Lola seemed surprised but then she smiled in pleasure. ‘Do you really think so?’

  ‘Definitely. You could sit on a rock, waiting to lure sailors to the bottom of the sea.’

  Spike let out a snort. Even Matt smiled. Carrie was delighted she’d amused everyone so much, especially Lola, who crawled over and handed her a joint.

  ‘Please try this. It’s really good stuff,’ she said.

  Carrie felt it was only polite to accept as Lola seemed so sweet and nice.

  She saw someone hand Matt a beer and hold out a joint to him. He took the beer but refused the smoke, saying, ‘No thanks, I’m diving again tomorrow.’

  Carrie had an insane urge to titter. She took a drag on the joint and sat back, feeling as if life couldn’t get any better. Really, things were looking up for her. Even Matt, sitting opposite on a driftwood log, looked very attractive tonight. Lola was curled up at his feet, her long mermaid fingers caressing the tribal tattoos on his forearms.

  ‘Where’d you get this work done? Down here or in London?’ she asked.

  ‘In Tuman,’ said Matt.

  ‘Where the fuck’s that?’ drawled Baz.

  Lola held out her own joint to Matt and this time he decided to take a drag on it.

  ‘It’s an island in the Pacific Ocean, north of Australia. I was out there for a while earlier this year,’ he said.

  ‘What the fuck were you doing in a place like that, man?’

  Here we go again, thought Matt, really not wanting to talk about his bloody job. He’d had a good day and he wouldn’t have come down here at all if he hadn’t wanted the keys to Dolly from Carrie. Frankly, he hadn’t expected her to be on the beach; he’d been sure she’d be shagging the surfer guy by now. Then he’d seen the smoke and decided, sod it, he wanted his mobile, which was inside the van.

  ‘Come on, tell us. Don’t be shy,’ said Lola.

  ‘I work for a medical charity and we help to run a small hospital in one of the villages. We also go into the jungle and hold clinics for people from outlying tribes.’

  ‘So you’re a doctor? Cool,’ said Lola.

  He laughed. ‘Far less cool than it sounds.’

  ‘
So you actually do operations on people out there?’ she asked.

  ‘We do some basic surgery, yes, and we’ve got a labor ward and a small theatre, but we can only operate when the generator’s working, otherwise we have no electricity. Sometimes we go out to outlying communities by canoe or light airplane. We run health clinics in the main village, which is about fifty miles from the nearest big town.’

  ‘What kind of stuff do you do?’

  Matt turned down Lola’s offer of the joint this time. He really did want a clear head in the morning and he didn’t give a toss if they—or Carrie—thought he was uptight. ‘Nothing spectacular. Minor ops, preventative healthcare, and education. We see a lot of malaria and TB too. You probably know the sort of thing.’

  Their blank faces showed they probably didn’t. Their eyes were glazing over and he couldn’t tell whether it was his fault or the hash. He felt Lola’s fingers on his arm again. ‘And you got the tattoos done at some place in the city or in the actual jungle?’

  He smiled. Her expression was almost childlike. ‘In the actual jungle.’

  Baz was lying on the sand, staring at the sky, a blissful smile on his face. With a bit of luck they’d all be so spaced out, they wouldn’t care what he told them.

  ‘Just these?’ said Lola, kneeling next to him. ‘Or are there more?’ She pushed her hands inside his T-shirt and lifted up the fabric. She blew out a breath. ‘Oh my God. You have to see this.’

  Matt pretended to laugh as she tried to pull his T-shirt off. He hated this kind of exhibitionism, hated being the center of attention. It only led to awkward questions.

  ‘Hey, man, let’s see it!’

  ‘Yeah. Get the shirt off!’

  They started banging bottles on rocks and driftwood and chanting, ‘Off, off, off!’ Matt caught Carrie’s eyes. She was watching him from her spot next to Spike. She was quiet but she didn’t look too stoned. Yet.

  ‘Show us,’ said Lola huskily.

  He gave in. Stood up, pulled his T-shirt over his head, and stretched his arms out wide. Then he turned round slowly, letting the cool night air lick his skin. He could feel the prickle of salt on his flesh, still clinging to him from the sea despite his shower. The banging and laughing stopped. Then someone let out a low whistle.