Charmed Life

by Druga, Jacqueline

  Chip looked at her. “Is he right?”

  Surprised she answered. “Yes.”

  Everyone applauded.

  Stuttering, she said, “I was ... I was a size eight all my life. I’d love to get back into …”

  “Princess, no.” Freddy said. “You shouldn’t worry about losing weight. It really works for you. You don’t have a wrinkle on your face. That’s the reason God gave you extra pounds, to keep you Oil of Olay young. You want to look thinner; I can make you look a size ten with just the right clothes.”

  She pointed at him and sat down. “We have to talk.”

  Onward …

  Freddy spewed forth is answers, quickly. The movie madness and electronics division of the training was set up like a game show. A bell before four contestants and no one stood a chance.

  Ding.

  “X-Box three sixty,” Freddy answered.

  “What was the number one selling video game of the original Atari system?”

  Ding

  “Donkey Kong.”

  “Correct,” Chip quizzed. “Who starred in Officer and a Gentleman?”

  Ding.

  “Freddy.”

  “Richard Geer, Debra Winger. Loved it. Made me cry.”

  “Correct. Who directed the Original Poseidon Adventure?”

  Ding.

  “Freddy again.”

  “Irwin Allen.”

  “Correct. What was the name of Charlton Heston’s character in the movie Omega Man.”

  Freddy smiled. He looked at his competitors.

  Chip asked. “You don’t know this one?”

  “Oh, I do I was just seeing if they did.”

  The three competitors against shook their heads.

  Dramatically, Freddy smack the bell.

  Ding-ding-ding.

  “Freddy.”

  “Robert Neville.”

  “Correct.”

  “Yes!

  Grace shrieked, jumping up delivering high fives to Freddy. Everyone, again, applauded his efforts.

  Onward …

  “This is the register. Look at it. Learn it,” Chip said. “It is your friend, and the place you will not only want to be, but need to be during the busy holiday season.”

  Two cash registers were set up in the training room. Carts of merchandise before them. After being verbally instructed on how to use the register, Chip demonstrated and instructed in a ‘hands on’ manner.

  Then he gave incentive.

  “Ok, let’s try shopper delight. It’s a little game I invented. Who can scan the items the quickest and most accurately? We’ll have a little tournament; winner gets a ten dollar gift certificate.”

  Grace was pitted against a man who looked as if he should be working automotives. She thought it would be a piece of cake. With Freddy as her shopper, laying things on the belt in a speedy manner, how could she loose the first round?’

  Chip blew the starting whistle.

  First item Grace scanned and moved it to the cart.

  “It didn’t beep,” Freddy said.

  “What do you mean it didn’t beep?” Grace asked.

  “It has to beep to register. It didn’t beep. Hurry.”

  Grace grabbed the shirt again and ran it over the scanning screen, moving it to the belt.

  “It didn’t’ beep.” Freddy told her.

  “Fuck.” She grabbed the shirt once more, lifting her eyes to see Bill sailing the object’s across his scanner with as steady beeping sound. She ran the shirt across.

  Nothing.

  Again, she rubbed it on the glass.

  Nothing.

  “Time out!” She called. “Time.”

  Chip blew the whistle. “What’s wrong?”

  “My scanner’s broke,” she said. “It won’t work.”

  “It’s not broke,” Chip retorted.

  “Uh, yeah, it is. Watch.” She swiped the shirt over the screen. “See?”

  Freddy cringed.

  Grace scanned it again. “No matter how many times …. Nothing.”

  Chip smiled and walked over to her. He lifted the shirt, and showed her the tag. With compassionate smile, he ran the tag over the screen.

  Beep.

  “You have to run the barcode over the screen,” He whispered. “That’s Ok. It happens a lot.” He stepped back, blew the whistle, and pointed to Bill. “Winner.”

  Freddy just had what he called, the swipe, swing, and stuff, down pat. He could swipe an item, swing it across the scanner, and stuff it in a bag in one fall swoop.

  It came down to him and a woman name Maria. Maria worked in retail for fifteen years. A grocery store clerk at a big chain where they had to push customers through.

  The Hispanic looking woman with tightly pulled back hair, puckered her lips in a smug manner to Freddy. “You’re going down,” she said, taking her position behind the register.

  “She intimidates me,” Freddy whispered to Grace.

  “Are you sure you want me as your partner?” She asked. “I don’t want to blow this for you.”

  “Princess, we’re a team. Just toss them on the belt, I’ll take it from there.”

  “Ready?” Chip called out. “Go.” He blew the whistled.

  Grace was fast. Freddy was unstoppable. Competition was over before it started. The strategy was on. They had the same items, but Grace, as Freddy told her, put the small ones on the belt first.

  Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

  It was out of control.

  Freddy swiped, stuffed, and when the bag was full, swung to the next empty.

  “Cart, please!” He called out. “My bags are stuffed.

  And never did he pause.

  He swiped the last item with dramatic flare and with a dashing hit of a button, called out, “Done. Forty-six seventy two please! Cash or charge!”

  Chip looked down to this clipboard. “That is correct! We have our champ!”

  Freddy and Grace cheered and jumped and were encompassed by applause.

  And finally …

  “This is important,” Chip instructed. “Enthusiasm to our shopper makes a pleasant shopping experience. For those of you who are on morning shift, at precisely eight a.m., we do a morning cheer. A pep rally. We start off with a basic cheer. Give me a ‘W’, give me an ‘A’, Give me an ‘L’, give me a squiggle …”

  Freddy raised his hand. “A ... squiggle?”

  Chip shook his hips.

  Freddy snickered. “That’s hot.”

  Chip continued, “And the cheer finishes with an original store cheer behind it. It gives us a shot of espresso energy without the espresso. Now, here is where you Grace might do well. We have an incentive program. If you write a cheer and we use it, that’s ten dollars in your pay. The cheer has to incorporate our store number. 1169. And it has to be approved by the main store manager. So put those thinking caps on and we’ll … Yes, Freddy?”

  Freddy finished scribbling. “Like this.” He stood up. “Yes, we care. We got time. We dazzle at one, one six nine. Bargain-Mart!”

  Chips mouth dropped and he shuddered a shake of his head. “Wow.”

  ++++

  For the last hour, they were prepped for the next day’s training where they would be on the floor. All ten new associates were taken to the floor to meet their training buddy. Chip escorted Grace last.

  “We’re not real sure where to place you yet. So I thought you can be a floor walker.”

  “What’s that?” Grace asked.

  “You walk around the store, straighten shelves, and be that associate people spot and ask a question.”

  “What if I don’t know the answer?”

  “You will. Mainly questions are for direction to a department,” Chip explained. “We actually invented the position for someone just like you. She’ll be training you. And there she is.”

  Grace hoped Chip was referring to personality rather than appearance, because the little woman trainer was nothing visually like Grace.

  Louise
Miller was four foot ten if that. Pushing eighty, she wore an obvious blond wing, glasses too big for her face and a smock that draped nearly to her thighs. Grace thought that perhaps Louise was taller at one time and she shrunk, because her skin looked excessively big for her frame.

  There was nothing pleasant about Louise. She looked crass, acted crass and spoke with such a crass, smoker’s raspy voice it was frightening.

  “Louise,” Chip introduced. “This is Grace. You’ll be training her.”

  Grace extended her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Oh, isn’t she just the pip of a Bargain-Mart worker,” Louise said sarcastically. “Why she gotta be with me?”

  “Louise,” Chip spoke pacifying. “Be nice.”

  “When ain’t I?” Louse asked. “Why ain’t she in cosmetics or toys, she looks like a Barbie doll wanna be?”

  Chip cleared his throat. “Louise, Grace here is just having a hard time grasping things.”

  “Hard time grasping things at a Bargain-Mart store?”

  Chip winced. “In a way, yes.”

  “So she’s a short bus rider.”

  Grace gasped.

  Chip cringed. “Louise, you know we don’t like that reference, Especially with Larson working the floor, too.”

  Grace asked. “Who’s Larson?”

  Chip pointed to a young man down the aisle. His Bargain-Mart smock was on backwards, his hair stood on edge, pants wrinkled, and he appeared as if he were trying to eat the Apple shaped Candle. “Excuse me. Larson. No.” Chip ran over to him, grabbing the apple. “We don’t eat the merchandise.” He pulled the apple away and Larson followed the object with his mouth. “No, son. Just keep walking.”

  Louise twitched her head Chip’s way. “You must have sucked in training.”

  Grace just stared at the little woman.

  Louise reached into her smock pocket. “I’ll straighten you up.” She put a cigarette in her mouth.

  “Louise,” Chip rushed over. “How many times do I have to tell you no cigarettes on the floor.”

  “I’m not lighting it dufus.”

  “Still, doesn’t look good.” Chip shook his head.

  “Fine.” She whipped it from her mouth.

  “I’ll let you two get acquainted. Good luck.” Chip gave a pat to Grace’s back.

  Grace inhaled deeply and forced a smile to Louise. When Louise returned only an aggravate look, Grace grew fearful.

  +++

  What would it take? Freddy wondered. He had never won anything in his life, yet, his first day of training and he accumulated twenty dollars in Gift Certificates.

  He waited to Grace at the front of the store, and as he did, he stared to the Big Bargain Wall. The Wall of Fame. Big 8 x 10 pictures of employees. Employees who were stars, spotlighted.

  Chip’s picture was on top. It wasn’t a bad picture of him if he wouldn’t have smiled or perhaps wore that speckled tie.

  Grace approached him from behind. “Hey.”

  Freddy jumped. “You startled me,” he said. “Oh give me your smock; I’ll launder them tonight for us.”

  “Do you know how?”

  “I have always done my own laundry.”

  “Wow, I didn’t know that.” Grace took off her smock and handed it to Freddy.

  He folded it and held it with his.

  “That’s gonna be you.” She pointed to the wall. “Your picture is so going up there in lightening speed.”

  “You think?”

  “Oh, without a doubt.”

  “You don’t think I would be ridiculous for shooting for that, do you. I mean it’s a Bargain-Mart achievement.”

  “Freddy it’s an achievement. How many times have you been recognized for being good?”

  “Never.”

  “Exactly, yet today, you rocked. You just have a knack for this.”

  “Like I was a discount store own in a previous life?”

  “Maybe.” Grace shrugged. “How was the rest of your day?”

  “Wonderful. I’m in men’s clothing. A delightful boy named Josh is my training buddy.” He led her to the door. “You?”

  “Horrendous. I have this horrible woman named Louise training me.”

  “Oh, come now, she can’t be that bad.”

  Just as the hit the front door, ready to walk out, Louise’s voice shouted. “Grace!”

  Freddy jumped and peeped a shriek. Slowly he turned around. “That her?”

  Grace nodded.

  Shuddering, Freddy balked back.

  Louise walked over to them, she was smoking a cigarette. “Just wanted to let you know.” She inhaled hard and blew out the smoke, pointing the cigarette at Grace “Don’t you get any funny ideas. The door greeter position is mine. Mine. Been waiting on it.” She hit her cigarette again. “Don’t make me beat you up over it.”

  “Louise!” Chip called out and ran over. “No smoking in the store!”

  “I’m out of here,” she said, blew the smoke at Grace and walked out.

  “Well,” Freddy gasped out. “There’s something you don’t see everyday. An elderly bully.”

  Chip sighed. “Sorry. Just ignore her, Grace. Freddy great job today.”

  “Thanks.” Freddy smiled.

  “Grace … Grace …” He gave a closed mouth look. “You’re a trooper.” He delivered a playful punch to her arm. “See you tomorrow.” He walked away.

  “Ready?” Freddy asked. “To go home?”

  “Am I ever?”

  He looped his arm though hers, “So, our first full day in the real world. How do you feel?”

  “Like a loser.”

  Freddy laughed, placed his arm around her, and gave her a squeeze. “Tomorrow is another day.”

  Walking across the parking lot, Grace paused and looked at Louise. She shuddered. “And I’m scared.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Missing.

  Alfonzo felt an ache and emptiness in his chest that he could only contribute to missing his Cara Mia.

  He hadn’t seen her in nearly a week. The only comfort he got was a call from Grace’s father, in which he had spoken to her. He told Alfonzo that when he informed Grace about his looking for her, Grace gave the message to tell Alfonzo she still loves him.

  Gregory told him he didn’t know why she would say that, but Alfonzo was certain of why.

  “You’re a pussy,” Lou greeted his son.

  Al looked up from his computer. “Excuse me? What did you call me?”

  “Pussy,” Lou said. “You’re moping over that girl. Just go out, get another and get laid. You’ll feel better.”

  “Obviously you don’t know what true love is.”

  “Yeah, I do. I just don’t believe in practicing monogamy with it. Any luck?”

  “Waiting,” Al replied. “Mr. Benson said he wired twenty grand from Grace’s account to a checking account. He gave us all the information, but he wasn’t sure where he wired it. He said he hoped we could find out.”

  “Seems like easy information. I’m taking it, it wasn’t Grace’s account.”

  “No.”

  “She probably hired a poor local woman to get the money and paid her off. I would do the same if I didn’t want to be found. But …. It’s traceable, so mistake on her part.”

  “Grace as never been the brightest bulb.”

  “True.”

  “If they gave away degree’s in coffee flavors, she’d have her doctrine.” Al chuckled and stopped, springing forward when the phone rang. “Yeah.” He clenched his fist and smiled. “Excellent. Send our guy there thanks.” He hung up.

  “They traced the money?”

  Al nodded. “And it makes perfect sense.”

  “Where is she?”

  “Honolulu.”

  Lou made a comment that Grace was pretty far from home; he just didn’t know the half of it.

  +++

  Grace limped. Not a lot and certainly not as badly as when she wore jeans, and they rubbed against her shin.

>   Freddy was lying on the couch, feet propped on a pillow, holding the remote control. “Did you ever watch game shows?”

  “Not really.”

  “We should go on one. Josh was telling me about this show, it’s quite good.”

  “Enjoying your day off?” Grace asked.

  Freddy exhaled. “Yes. Very much. You?”

  “Without a doubt.”

  “How weird it is to have two days off in the middle of the week. We just started.”

  “That’s because we have to work the weekends,” Grace said. “I hear it is a madhouse.”

  “Who told you that? I didn’t think anyone but Larson talked to you.”

  Grace folded her arms. “That’s not nice.”

  “Sorry. Teasing.”

  “But it’s true. I heard a customers say it.”

  “The more the merrier, I find the customers a challenge and enjoyable,” Freddy sat up. “How the leg.”

  Grace lifted her leg on the table. “Healing.”

  “Nasty bruise. Even though the short out fit really works for you, princess should you cover that up.”

  “The gash needs to air out.” Grace put her leg down.

  “You never did tell me how and why that happened.”

  “Because there is no reason why, Freddy. Gees.” Grace complained. “OK, Monday I knew when I was introduced to her, that I was in trouble. Tuesday, when we got together for training, Louise said, ‘shut up and follow’. Which worked for me. I just followed her around. I thought she was drunk.”

  “That would be against the employee rules to show up intoxicated.”

  “Yeah, but she smokes on the floor and gets away with it. So who’s paying attention? She scares everyone.”

  “She would scare Jesus Christ.”

  Grace nodded. “So yesterday, she tells me to follow Larson, which isn’t a good thing. He slobbered on me twice and ate an air freshener. Then at the end of the day, she decided to time me and test me on departments. She tells me where to go, tells me to get an item from that department and get back to her. See how fast.”

  “What a wonderful training technique.”