Bloodhype

by Foster, Alan Dean;

  "Flattery'll get you nowhere."

  The Commander was already talking to a detec operator. "Communication from the anticipated arrival yet?"

  "No, your Excellency. The channel is held open, though."

  "Good. Notify if-"

  "Excellency?" Parquit turned.

  "What is it, Harbormaster Third?"

  "Pardon, your Excellency, for disturbing. The Terran female is broadcasting. Directionally, it appears, to somewhere within the central city."

  "A logical place." Parquit was only mildly interested. "I did not know that a raft of that class could beam so far directionally."

  "Some have the capability, Excellence. Boostering and expensive modifications."

  Parquit grunted. "Nothing of interest, presumably?"

  "No, Excellency. Nothing unique. It appears to be a series of complaints distinguished only by their vituperativeness. Should I try to damp her out?"

  "No, let her rave. Hopefully she will annoy the humanx authorities as she has us. I would not personally inflict such a female on the most desperate mate-seeker. Such selfrighteousness! I understand this grouping has been an abnormally difficult one."

  "Abnormally vocal, anyway, Excellence," smirked the Harbormaster.

  "You're holding a group of people?" Rose inquired. He'd understood enough of the preceding conversation.

  "No, not people. Humans, and one other. Tourists. Along with an occasional commercial fisher, who hopes to find an unfinshed area close to the center of population, they sometimes stray within Concession boundaries. Most such are the result of honest errors of navigation. Others do so, I suspect in the hopes of achieving a small thrill. Unfortunately, I cannot react as I would prefer. This would entail frying the lot of them. We are `at peace,' you see. So such actions are proscribed by treaty. I believe some would actually enjoy the threat. Most merely express outrage that we constrain their sacrosanct person. You are the first, I regret, to arrive here with purpose."

  "What do you do with them?"

  "Hold them over for a day, make brief suggestions of bodily dismemberment, lodge a protest with the authorities, who, I understand, sometimes even actually levy a fine on the offenders."

  "You said humans and `one other."'

  "A Tolian. Petty aristocrat. These small mammals ..." Parquit paused. Rose bad turned away and was trying hard to control himself. "Does it shame you so much?"

  "It's laughter I'm trying to hold back, not shame, your scaliness! Two humans and a Tolian. One large male and one exceptionally attractive female?"

  "By your standards, as I vaguely comprehend them, yes. How do you know?"

  "And you don't want visitors. Oh, Luna! ... Listen, brighteyes. The female and the furry posturer are Church undercover agents, both officers. The male is an independent freighter-captain with more connections than an all-purpose 'puter linkup. In the words of ancient hue, me boyoh, you've been took!" The drugger burst into laughter, causing heads to turn in the control room.

  Parquit did not betray any emotion beyond a slight tightening of horny lips.

  "Harbormaster Third, damp that broadcast!"

  "Excellency!" The reptile jumped at the sting in the command.

  "Controller! Kindly inform the sergeant in charge of that landing section to conduct our visitors to my rooms. Under guard. Put their raft under cross-coverage from harbor turrets. If they make the slightest move to depart, destroy them."

  "It is done, Excellence."

  "Hey, no reason to jump on them like that! They're probably lookin' for me," said Rose.

  Parquit turned and gave the drug-runner such an intense stare that the normally stolid Rose looked away.

  "You flatter yourself, human. As you said, it gets one nowhere. I have reason to believe they are here for reasons and purposes other. I am admittedly curious as to how you know them."

  "They're the ones-the two agents, anyway-who've forced my reluctant and hasty departure from these parts."

  "I see. Reason enough to condemn them, for inflicting you on me. I sometimes wish for more primitive days, when decisions were a simple question of sharper teeth and stronger claw. Yet I endeavor to cope with civilization. Come along. You may be of some use, Sand knows."

  Parquit headed for- the door, paused at a word from the Harbormaster.

  "What is it, Third?"

  "Excellence, the human's expected shipment has contacted us."

  "Monitor it closely." He turned back to Rose. "You will remain to make visual identification. Following that, direct yourself to my rooms."

  The series of rapid, ultra-high-frequency numbers was picked up, recorded and transcribed by the Rectory 'puters. Coupled with the phycoded information just received, they were sufficient to send the padre in charge scurrying for the Major's office.

  "You realize your confession of your profession is a mere formality now," said Parquit. "I am as certain of it as of my own ancestral tree. It is your purpose that concerns me more. You no more landed here by accident than I did by desire. Why not observe courtesy, be polite, and tell me freely? I shall be courteous in turn. I will not have you shot out of hand ... No, please, young female. Subside. No more imagined insults. Surely the maintenance of this act is as wearisome to you as it is to me. I could search your vessel. Interesting things would no doubt turn up. But should they, I would be impelled by precedent to have you exterminated. I would far rather have answers to some questions- before."

  "Poo! Commander, this has now become exasperating. The sheer size of this illusion you have drawn for yourself makes me fear for you."

  "Your sudden solicitation for my good health is out of character, female."

  "You are perfectly welcome to search our ship, if it will cure you."

  "Those who have no options are generous ..." began the commander.

  "You won't find anything more espionage-oriented than a few typical, if expensive, cameras. The tapes in them contain only shots of water and island scenery-not this island, nor its surrounding water. Where your suspicions arise from escape me."

  "They arose from me," came a voice from the doorway. "Dear me, a pun." The drugger strode past the startled group. "I'm surprised, yes, and disappointed, to see you still tied up with these two, Hammurabi. No profit in it, no profit at all." He shook his head slowly, mournfully.

  "I think I see your point now," began Mal reasonably. "It sure looks like you've been right all along. Maybe we ought to reconsider..."

  The drugger lit one of his few remaining dopesticks, ignoring Parquit's expression of disgust. "Uh-uh. Too much hate in your eyes. Angle of lips, position of head ... no, you'd strangle me first chance you got, on general principles alone. Besides, judging just from your plain stupid relationship with these two," he gestured at Kitten and Pors, "you'd be a poor risk."

  "You find some funny holes to crawl into, drugger," said Kitten.

  He smiled. "I only go where I'm wanted. Commander, here, is a spiritual relative."

  "Hold your insults, yon push me too far!" said Parquit.

  "Easy, Commander, easy." Rose hefted the ever-present metal ease, shook it gently. "I've still my little surprise box."

  "If you coerce me to the edge," the Commander said tightly, "a momentary insanity on my part could destroy us all. Your package of. supposed drug concerns me less and less."

  "Okay, okay. Forget it."

  "No wonder the local police couldn't find you," broke in Porsupah.

  "You contacted your supplier?" asked Parquit.

  "Yep."

  "You have now that which you require for departure?"

  "Pretty much. Can't be as picky as I'd like at this stage. At least everything got here intact. I was worried about him having to dodge huananx patrols. Young for the job, but he managed. If they bothered to plot his course, it would provide another reason for not troubling him. Your reputation for hospitality isn't supposed to encourage visitors."

  A young man appeared in the portal. He was tall and good-looking.


  "Everything you wanted's been transferred off the raft, Dom, so-

  "You!" The scream of recognition was only half feminine. Kitten threw herself at the figure. A guard, energy rifle at the ready, interposed himself. She stared at the weapon for a long moment as though debating whether to try passing the guard anyway, hands at her sides, breathing heavily.

  "You appear to be acquainted with this slug's associate," said Parquit in lucid understatement. He'd been surprised himself by the violence of her reaction.

  "We've met," said Russell Kingsley. He eyed her warily across the room.

  Peot was alone. In a universe of a trillion souls, he was, would always be, had been, alone. He'd lived non-life too long and now must live an unwanted real-life a while longer. Hurry. Hurry hurry hurry.

  After several eternities, it was not easy to move with concern.

  Orvenalix deliberated about two minutes before flipping a switch on his desk com.

  "Get me the governor's residence, operator."

  "Processing, sir."

  After a few seconds the haze on the screen cleared to reveal a spectacularly pneumatic human female. She was seated behind a small mahogany and brass desk. Her tone was lazy.

  "I am sorry, Major Orvenalix, but the governor left explicit instructions that he was not to be disturbed until further notice."

  "I see. Well. Fine. You give the good governor this message for me, then. Tell him that as of," he glanced at the wrist chronometer set into the chiton of his left truarm "three minutes ago, three especially equipped patrol submersibles of the Replerian Domestic Commerce and Customs Protection Association were dispatched by me at maximum cruising speed for the Imperial AAnn Enclave, where they will attempt to carry out the release of two human and one Tolian prisoner. Should the AAnn Commander refuse to comply with this request, the commander of the three vessels has been empowered to secure their release by force ... Tell him this straight and tell him this now, or you'll find yourself tomorrow in the awkward and much less relaxing position of scraping willoweed off the hulls of shrimp trawlers over in Faertown."

  To her credit, the professional smile remained frozen on the girl's face. The difference now was that the ice showed.

  "I will give him the message, Major." She stood. .

  "And I might suggest a more regulated intake of oxygen. Your present rate of consumption intrigues me only as a xenobiological curiosity. Save it for those it may affect."

  She fled from range of the pickup.

  You deserve to have your antennae knotted, you old reprobate! That was unnecessary.

  The message was designed to produce results. It did. Governor Washburn was on the screen almost immediately, fumbling with the clasps of his blouse. His appearance was generally rumpled and unkempt. Well, that was too bad. This was one siesta the planetary major-domo would have to forego.

  Now, however, he was wide awake-and angry.

  "Deity, Major! Primal urges. Obscenity! What is all this about? If you wished to begin an interstellar war in my jurisdiction, you might at least inform me in advance."

  "I think you can discount the possibility of any extra-Replerian conflict, Governor."

  "You bet your mandibles we can!" the executive roared. "I'm countermanding those orders now! I want those subs back in port and docked quietly by sundown! I want their captains and crews restricted to quarters until they can be properly instructed about keeping their mouths shut concerning this whole fiasco. There may still be time to keep this out of the faxpax."

  "I'm afraid I'll be compelled to neglect those instructions, Governor. But this will be kept as quiet as possible. The three submersibles are under order to observe strict cast silence until something has been resolved-one way or the other."

  "I see." Washburn did. He could recognize a fact when it crawled all over his face. This ability put him a cut above politicians on more "civilized" worlds, who'd lost the talent. "Perhaps some good will come of this, anyhow. Running a backwards, nowhere world like Repler is thankless enough. At least I'll have the pleasure-if we survive -of seeing you demoted to the point where you'll no longer be an irritation to me."

  "All things are possible, Governor," Orvenalix said soothingly. "But for now, I suggest you compose yourself as well as you're able. It's not unlikely that we'll be hearing from the Commander of the AAnn base. When he does contact you, I'd suggest moving away from the speaker and lowering the volume somewhat. He will likely not be inclined to sweet reasonableness. I have the utmost confidence in your ability to handle the conversation which will ensue."

  Later, neither could remember who cut the other off first.

  "Move away, female!" hissed Parquit. "I'll have no blood spilled here without consent." Reluctantly, Kitten backed up to stand between Mal and Porsupah.

  The guard returned silently to his station. Kingsley walked over to Rose, grinning. "Looking feisty as ever,, isn't she, Dom?"

  Rose whispered. "Be quiet, you fool. There's trouble for you here."

  "Nonsense! She's the prisoner. Wasn't she put off to see me, though?" He chuckled.

  "You have a grudge against this male?" asked Parquit. The question was purely rhetorical.

  Her voice was even, without a hint of the emotion boiling beneath it. "He spent a small time, recently, doing unwanted, ungentlemanly things to me, Excellency. But I endeavor to always remain ladylike. I promise to make his death as quick as possible."

  "Did you do as she claims?" said Parquit interestedly. He turned to face Kingsley. "Is that essentially true?"

  Kingsley was no interpreter of AAnn intonation, but he was suddenly on guard. "Not exactly, I ... "

  "... lie a lot," the Commander added. He examined the youngster closely. Kingsley shifted uncertainly under the close observation.

  "You don't appear to be armed."

  "I'm not. Your people took my weapons as soon as I landed."

  "As was only appropriate. It would be required now anyway. Such things would impair the engagement."

  "Engagement? What engagement?"

  "Well, it seems the young lady made a vow. Under AAnn social convention, I should not attempt to prevent her fulfilling it. As my having her for dinner would certainly do. And despite your species' noted predilection for personal combat, one which I am told approaches our own, I have never had the opportunity to observe such an action. I've seen transceived casts of simulations, but never one in person. It should prove entertaining. I am in dire need of such, these days."

  "Now look here, Excellency, I'm a guest. Surely-"

  "Death-vows take precedence over common, let alone forced, hospitality."

  "But I'm not an AAnn! I'm not subject to your social conventions."

  "Then why do you and your superior claim sanctuary? For yourself- you do not even understand your own reasoning. Pagh!"

  "Excellence," Rose began. The Commander turned sharply, as if anticipating the sentence to follow. He gestured at Kingsley.

  "This one means so much to you?" Parquit was watching the drugger closely.

  "It's not that, really, but-"

  "You bastard!" Kingsley shouted. "You rotten, putrid ... !" He took a step towards the older man, halted when the guard's rifle came up menacingly.

  "My, everyone wishes to kill everyone else," Parquit mused. "I'm not unfamiliar with humanx history. If you humans hadn't encountered the thranx when you did, it's conceivable you would have both been sufficiently weak for us to defeat you. A black day when that meeting first took place. Otherwise we would now be in a position to pursue our natural destiny of galaxy-wide domination at a more natural pace."

  "Don't hold your breath," said Mal.

  Parquit turned to face the freighter-captain. "Periodic minor conflict is necessary in order to correctly ascertain an opponent's strength before waging war, man. We made an improper evaluation last time. We will not make the same error again."

  "Okay, I retract the request. Hold your breath."

  The Commander ignored him,
turned to Kitten. "So, young female. Is the center of my office agreeable to you?..

  "Just give me an arm's length." She smiled ferociously.

  Rose made a last try. "This does violate accepted standards of politeness, Excellence."

  When Parquit had concluded the AAnn laughterequivalent, he spoke again. "See? A good idea! I am amused already. To hear you complain of a violation of politeness. To hear you cite accepted standards. How many standards of civilization have you violated? How many beings owe the visit of the Thiever-of-Thoughts to you? The Mindburner? Or He-Who-Walks-Blacksand? Do not speak to me of politeness! ... You! Are you afraid of this female? You substantially outmass her."

  "No, your Excellency. Save your insults for this ... this maggot. I'll fight her."

  "Then be to it! I give you," he checked his own timepiece, "ten time-parts. No one will interfere."

  Kitten shrugged out of the elaborate confection of crepe and silk. She crumpled the delicate material into a wad, handed it to Porsupah. Moving away to one side of her companions, she stood in very unregulation undergarments.

  "Must you fight indecently, too?" said Porsupah.

  "That's funny coming from you, you lecherous muskrat! This isn't going to be pretty, and I could barely walk in that thing. Give me a kiss for luck. And stop playing with your whiskers. It makes me nervous to see you nervous." Porsupah dropped both hands awkwardly to his sides.

  Mal knelt until his head was on a level with the smaller Tolian's. "He outweighs her by a good 30 kilos and he doesn't look slow. You think she can handle him?"

  "I don't know. She does."

  Kingsley found Rose and the AAnn Commander staring at him interestedly. After all the talk, the silence in the under-room weighed heavily on him.

  He took a step towards Kitten. Another. "Listen," he said, smiling nervously. "If you want an apology or whatever, I'm willing to go through the whole bit. We all seem to be in the same ship here." He held out a hand.