Lacey Luzzi: Spooked: A humorous, cozy mystery! (Lacey Luzzi Mafia Mysteries Book 6)

by Gina LaManna

  Chapter 28

  Once Anthony and I settled Clay into place, situated comfortably between a Frankenstein pillow and a huge spider that sang opera on a motion sensor cue, we returned to the front door.

  “Hello, Lacey dear,” Harold said. “What are you doing here?”

  Someone must have told him that his costume as a butler wasn’t cutting it, because he’d since ditched the suit and opted into a skin-tight, full-body skeleton costume. I swear, this family wore more spandex than was healthy.

  “I’m just doing a test run with Anthony. Nobody’s in the house yet, right?”

  Harold shook his head. “Not to my knowledge. The first group of Luzzi staff is scheduled to come in for a test run in twenty minutes.”

  “Great. I just want to walk through first, make sure everything’s in place for the test run,” I said, grabbing Anthony’s hand and pulling him outside. “We’re going to start from the very top. Dry run, Harold, got it?”

  “Got it, ma’am.” He gave a bow.

  “Harold, skeletons don’t bow. This is a dry run.” I shook my head. “At least put on a spooky-haunted-house voice.”

  “Can the English accent sound spooky?” he asked with curiosity.

  I shrugged. “Do the best you can. Ready? Go.”

  Pulling Anthony back another few feet, we surveyed the front of the estate. It had transformed from a regal, well-kept manor into a dangerous, abandoned-looking building. The witch’s brew spewed smoke around the entrance, a strobe light flashed on a fake graveyard to the left of the door, and a hand hung creepily out of the front window.

  I pulled Anthony tighter.

  “Are you scared?” he whispered against my head.

  “No,” I lied. “Just an excuse to be close to you.”

  “Sure…and I’ll pretend to believe that.” He put an arm around me, stepping forward.

  “Ring the doorbell,” I whispered. “I’m too scared to touch it.”

  Anthony pressed the button. I was more than a little impressed he didn’t even flinch when a blood-curdling scream sounded throughout the house.

  “Nice touch,” he murmured.

  Harold whipped the front door open. “Good evening, friends.”

  I nearly burst out laughing at his fake American accent. “That’s the worst accent I’ve ever heard, Harold. Worse than Meg’s British one.”

  “I’m not from here,” he said, his voice cross. Throwing a few suckers in our direction, he turned up his nose. “Here, have your stupid lollies.”

  “I think I will.” I collected the suckers, then nabbed a Twix from the bowl. Then a Snickers. Finally, an Almond Joy. I glanced at Anthony. “You’re not having any?”

  He gave an imperceptible shake of his head.

  “Great. I’ll take Anthony’s piece too,” I said, scooping another handful into my pockets. One nice thing about these puffy Aladdin pants was that the pockets were the size of a backpack. The bad thing, I soon discovered, was that with all the candy in my pockets, my pants began to sag well below my waist line.

  “You’re losing your costume,” Anthony said as we stepped past the threshold. He ran his finger around the waist of my pants, his fingers dipping so low at the behind that I yelped and leapt forward.

  “If you’d just hold onto your share of the candy,” I said, hitching up my pants, “we wouldn’t have this problem.”

  “But you’re the one eating it.”

  “Fine. Then I’m gonna look like a plumber,” I said. “Double Halloween costume. Call me Aladdin the Plumber.”

  “Okay, Aladdin the Plumber. Better watch out behind you.” Anthony tilted his chin, gesturing over my shoulder.

  I turned around, screaming my lungs out as a figure with a chainsaw rose up behind me. All at once, the roar of the saw and the intensity of my scream nearly caused me to black out. Instead, my reflexes kicked in, to the severe misfortune of the guard with the chainsaw.

  My leg flung out, connecting with jewels of the precious variety. The Family variety. In essence, I nailed the man in the crotch with my foot, the poor guy. The guard fell over, dropping the chainsaw and whimpering in pain, while I stumbled forward in blind fear, my heart racing, adrenaline pounding, hands shaking.

  “Whoa, whoa,” Anthony said as I crashed into him, nearly toppling over his huge, bulky frame. “Relax, you know this is all fake, right?”

  “What? The chainsaw’s fake? Why did nobody tell me?” My breath came in gasps.

  “Have you never been to a haunted house?” Anthony raised an eyebrow.

  “I don’t really like them.” I scrunched my nose. “I get pretty scared.”

  “Scared? No, you get scary,” the guard on the floor grunted. “I will never be able to have children.”

  “Sorry about that,” I winced. “Take the night off and start on the champagne early.”

  “I can’t move,” he said. “I’m just going to lie here and moan. Add to the ambiance.”

  “Harold,” I called over my shoulder, pushing Anthony forward. “Can you help this man – ah!”

  Another person leapt out to my left and I tackled Anthony once more.

  He grasped my shoulders, holding me steady and staring straight into my eyeballs. “You have got to get ahold of yourself or you’re going to hurt yourself and me. You have strength I’ve never seen before.”

  “It’s scary in here.”

  “No, you’re scary,” Anthony said, his eyes wide, his face wearing an expression I’d never seen before. “I’ve never had anyone tackle me successfully – not even another guard – and you just about knocked me flat on my ass. If I fall down a staircase because you take my legs out…”

  “Sorry,” I muttered. “Just nervous.”

  “Well, be nervous about five feet in front of me,” Anthony said, distancing himself.

  “I’ve got a better idea.” I took off my vest, wearing only my skin colored camisole. I put the purple fabric over my head, much like Nora’s rug, and then dropped to my knees and crawled on down the hallway. “This is much better.”

  I could almost hear Anthony’s eye roll, but I ignored it. Ya gotta do whatcha gotta do. And haunted houses were on my list of top five scary items. Right next to Anthony when he was angry.

  The two of us made it to the end of the hallway – me dragging myself, half-screaming, half-crying the entire way, Anthony with his tiger stripes twitching uncontrollably. We passed the Great Hall, pulling open the side door and ducking off just before Oleg’s prison cell.

  “Ah, finally,” I said, my heart pounding so hard I thought I might need a defibrillator. “We’re safe.”

  Anthony laughed. “We’re safe in the safe.”

  “Wow,” I sucked in ragged breaths. “You made a joke.”

  So flooded with relief at making it through the Haunted House, I turned positively gleeful. Honest to goodness giddy. I reached up to Anthony and gave him the kiss of a lifetime.

  “Wow,” he said. “We will be attending haunted houses more often, if it gets you in this sort of mood.”

  “I’m alive!” I twirled in a wobbly circle.

  “All right, Aladdin,” Anthony said. “Hunker down. The party is starting.”

  Chapter 29

  Shrieks and shouts and exclamations of terror filtered through the doorway for the next couple of hours. Anthony had hung a curtain along one of the walls earlier for cover, and we now huddled behind it, tucked in the corner of the fake broom closet-turned-safe.

  The screams came in fairly steady waves, every fifteen minutes or so, with the passing of each group of kiddos. From the sounds of it, the Haunted House was a success. With the exception of a little tough guy talking back to a monster now and again, nothing at all seemed suspicious.

  Until the doorknob rattled. Anthony and I tensed behind the curtain, waiting, watching for the intruder to slip inside. But it turned out to be a false alarm. The scare had been nothing more than a hefty kid startled by the ghoul across the hall.

  Th
e closet where we hid was nothing special. If someone did find their way inside, they’d have no reason to think the space contained anything except a few chairs and old storage equipment. My knees ached as we crouched behind a stack of packing boxes Anthony had purposefully set up behind the curtain.

  “How do you stay so focused?” I whispered. “Can’t we go lounge on the loveseat?”

  Anthony didn’t bother with a response.

  I sat on the floor, moving about, trying and failing to get comfortable. When I couldn’t find a decent position, I gave up sitting and lay down, propping my feet up on a box. “It’d be much more fun if we could just wait on the couch.”

  “Shh.”

  “It’s painful, just sitting here. I’m doing my best to be patient.”

  “It’s your assignment, isn’t it? Focus. I’m here for the ride.”

  “That may be true, but we’ve been here for hours and not a single person has opened that door, not even on accident. I thought they’d surely slip in here during the Haunted House, it’d be the perfect cover.” I glanced at Anthony. “Do you think they got scared away? Maybe they caught on to the rumor?”

  “The jewels weren’t supposed to be transported until nine. There’s still time for them to make a move.”

  “But wouldn’t the person want to get in place beforehand?”

  “Seeing as I don’t know who we’re looking for, why they’re stealing from us, or what they’re hoping to achieve, I’ve got no idea,” Anthony said. “That’s why we’re spending Halloween in a closet in the first place.”

  I sighed, pushing myself back into a sitting position. If Anthony could do it, so could I.

  Eight o’clock came and went. I could’ve napped the night away on the couch, for all the action we got in that closet. Quarter after eight rolled around, and a piercing whistle sounded outside the door, a signal from Nora to the guards. All of the guests had exited the Haunted House, and the Luzzi staff was once again free to wander the halls.

  “You think she popped the champagne already?” I asked.

  Anthony remained tense, a hand on his waist, his eyes locked on the door. The man was an animal – and not just a tiger for Halloween. He’d barely moved the entire night. At one point I’d put a hand on his neck to see if I could feel a pulse.

  “I wonder what sort of cheeses Nora got for the party.” I let my mind drift to platters of the finest meats and olives. “I’m starving just thinking about it.”

  “Come here.” Anthony gestured to a box next to him. “Sit down. Listen.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Are you trying to start something with me?”

  “Sit down.” Anthony’s voice came out so low, so menacing I moved without a question.

  “Now what?” I whispered, sitting close enough that our thighs touched.

  “The next twenty minutes are the most crucial,” Anthony said. “It’s quarter to nine and the guards are now changing costumes, getting ready for the party, moving around the estate. If one of them wanted to slip away, now would be the time. Nobody would notice.”

  I nodded.

  The minutes ticked by. I’d thought I was antsy before, but that was nothing compared to now. Every creak in the hallway floor, every snippet of a phrase that floated through the wall, had me on edge. My adrenaline revved up to high gear and my forehead sported a thin sheen of sweat.

  “Anthony…” I whispered.

  “Not now.” His eyes glittered black. All business.

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “Now?”

  “Hide and seek has always made me nervous.” I crossed my arms. “Ever since I was a kid. I’d get into my hiding spot and have to leave as soon as the Seeker started the game.”

  Anthony blinked. “That sounds like a medical problem.”

  “No, it’s just nerves. Also, remember our bathroom talk? Glitter and sparkles, buddy, glitter and sparkles.” I shook my head. “But anyway, hide and seek and shopping – I don’t know what it is about those two things, but it makes me gotta go.”

  “Hold it.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Then you don’t make for a very good spy.”

  “Do you want my bladder to burst?” I asked.

  Anthony breathed in and out, his chest rising and falling quicker than usual.

  “Can’t I just sneak out for one second—” I started.

  “No.” Anthony said.

  “But—”

  “Wait here for a second.” Anthony stood up, surveyed the room, and then, stealthy as a panther, walked straight to the door that led deeper into the safe. He punched a code on the keypad fixed next to the door. “Bathroom is the first door on the right.”

  I didn’t move. “You know the code?”

  “Of course I know the code.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I stood up, still trying to process this turn of events.

  “Because it’s not my code to tell.”

  “But—”

  “Do you have to go to the bathroom or not?” he asked. “You have three minutes to get in there. I need to lock you inside the next chamber, otherwise the alarm will sound around the house and give us away.”

  I hightailed it through the opening, unable to see much of anything, thanks to the dark hallway. A second door off of the next chamber had a sign with the word Baṅo on the outside. That’s where I was headed. There was a third door, a metal one, situated opposite from where I’d come. A second keypad was affixed above the handle.

  I turned back to Anthony, thumbing at the third door. “This leads deeper into the safe?”

  Anthony nodded. “I’m going to lock you in now. Tap on the outside when you’re done.”

  “You will let me out, correct?” I raised one eyebrow. “Because I don’t know the codes, and I don’t feel like getting stuck in here.”

  “That depends.” Anthony shut the door halfway.

  “On what?” I threw my hands up. “You can’t leave me stranded—”

  “Gotta go.” Anthony closed the door, leaving me to grumble all by my lonesome.

  Thankfully, a few minutes later when I tapped on the door after finishing my business, Anthony opened it almost instantaneously.

  “Get behind the boxes,” he said as a greeting. “We’ve got three minutes ’til nine.”

  Situating ourselves out of sight once more, I squinted at Anthony. “You didn’t steal the crown, did you?”

  “What?”

  “What if you stole the crown and you’re doing this all to mess with me?” I blinked. “You do know the codes, after all, and I wasn’t supposed to tell you about this mission, and—”

  “We talked about this already,” Anthony said. “Do you really think I stole the crown? If so, I can leave now…”

  “Never mind.” I faced the door. “Let’s wait.”

  One minute.

  Two minutes.

  “Nobody’s coming,” I said. “My gut feeling tells me we’ve got this all wrong.”

  Anthony raised a finger to his lips and gestured towards the door.

  My eyes followed his pointed finger. To my dismay, the knob on the door had begun twisting open.

  I ducked behind the boxes. Anthony rested a hand on my forearm, shooting me a look that I interpreted to mean as be quiet and don’t move. At least that’s what I hoped it meant, since that’s what I planned to do.

  A variety of scenarios rushed through my head. If this happened to be another false alarm, a person looking for a restroom or something, then we’d be safe for now. But at the same time, we’d be no closer to finding the crown, which could lead to trouble later. However, if this turned out to be a real thief – a guard who had betrayed Carlos – well, there’s no way that situation would end well.

  A light click signified the knob had been turned as far right as possible. The door opened slowly, and a hand reached inside.

  I held my breath. Anthony raised his hand, the hand containing the gun, and pointed it at the entranc
e as in walked none other than…

  “Carlos?” I gasped.

  “What the hell is going on here?” My grandfather stepped into the room, closing the door behind him with a firm slam.

  “I…hmm,” I stammered. “Let me think about that.”

  My grandfather surveyed the room, taking in Anthony and me behind the boxes. Somehow, Anthony with his tiger-like reflexes – probably thanks to the face paint – had managed to hide his gun. Which was good, since Carlos looked angry enough without a shiny metal weapon pointed at his face

  “May I ask why the two of you are playing hide and seek while my client is waiting for a certain item in the kitchen?” Carlos’s lips drew into a thin line.

  “I have a plan,” I said. “And for the record, we’re not playing hide and seek.”

  “A plan.” Carlos leveled his gaze in my direction. “Really.”

  “Yes,” I said. “We set up a trap to catch whoever was thieving from you, starting a rumor that we were going to be moving precious gems to this safe at nine p.m.”

  “Why did you set a trap at the exact same time your assignment was due?” Carlos asked. “What was your plan if it didn’t work out?”

  “We’re about to find out,” I mumbled. “Since it’s not quite working.”

  “No, apparently not.” Carlos put a finger to his lips. “And I thought I explicitly asked you to keep this mission quiet. Not shout it across the world…or whisper it across your pillow.”

  I didn’t miss the quick dart of Carlos’s eyes to Anthony before they returned back to me.

  “It’s not like that.” I stood up, stepping around the boxes. “Anthony guessed the situation before I could tell him. When he asked about the details, I lied, or I hid information. Carlos, this assignment has gotten everyone mad at me. Anthony, Clay, Meg…” I threw my arms up. “Heck, now even you’re mad at me. I can’t win!”

  “It’s not her fault.” Anthony rose next to me. “And she kept the secret even from her best of friends, with all due respect, sir.”

  “I believe you,” Carlos said, his cheek twitching. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I have a client here, expecting to pick up a valuable item that was entrusted to me, and it isn’t here.”