Primrose and Brimstone

by Jason Mueller

  Jack smiled and stepped out of the way. Sasha smiled and entered, accidently brushing against Jack. He felt guilty that he enjoyed it and thought she smelled wonderful.

  "Obviously, by the boxes, I brought some Chinese,” she said. “I hope that’s OK."

  "Perfect! I love Chinese, and smelling it now, I realize how hungry I am."

  "Is it OK if I find the kitchen and get this ready? Or I could go find you an MRE if you prefer,” she giggled.

  "Hush, the kitchen is that way,” he said, pointing in the right direction with a smile.

  He watched her as she made her way toward the kitchen. She was dressed in T-shirt, jean shorts and flip-flops and she looked incredible in them. Again, a pang of guilt entered his mind. He was married and it had been nearly a year for him since he had been with a woman. Besides, he thought to himself, his wife was in the nut house for killing their daughter. What exactly did he owe her when it came to loyalty?

  He followed her into the kitchen to help and he wanted to be near her.

  "I feel like a beer with dinner, how about you?" he asked.

  "That would be great,” she said as she rummaged through the box. “I didn’t know what you would like so I got a ton of stuff; General Tso's chicken, orange chicken, that beef with the onions and green pepper stuff. Lots of crab rangoon, egg rolls. Does any of it sound good too you?

  "General Tso's for me please. So how have you been? I was sorry about Dave. He was a good guy and a good soldier."

  He could see her face start to cloud up and instantly regretted bringing it up.

  "Sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

  "It's ok, it's just still really hard. I never thought I would be a widow this young, I'm not going to lie, I still miss him but I know I have to move on. How about you? This all has to be a shock to you?"

  “It is, but you know I never got to meet Abby. I never had to meet her to love her but she was an unknown quantity in some ways. And Sandy? Well I got some mixed up feelings for sure. When you get deployed you grieve for your loved ones to an extent. It is kind of a break up in some ways, their lives move on back here without you while you're in hell. I missed her and was looking forward to seeing her again but a year changes things. I think this would be a lot worse if I had been with her and this had happened. This is Hell. I can’t imagine what that would be like."

  "You have to feel betrayed, angry?"

  "Oh yeah, to say the least. I'm heart broken, betrayed, and angry. All those and more. But I must deal with it, move on, and survive."

  "Spoken like a true soldier. Let’s eat. Enough depressing talk."

  ~~~

  Sandy suffered through the demon’s visits every night, she started to just take her scrubs off and wait for her attack after she was threatened with a loss of what few privileges she had. Not wanting to be labeled anymore crazy, she kept the truth to herself. Also, she finally had come to terms with the fact that she would likely never be released from the hospital, so she had to learn to cope with it all the best she could and to make the most of it.

  She sat in her room, from the barred window she could see that it was a beautiful Texas day out side with blue sky and lots of sun shine. No one had been to see her in weeks, her belly now showing visibly.

  A knock on the door brought her back to what now passed for reality.

  “Sandy, you have a visitor, let’s go.” She looked up to see Anthony one of the orderlies looking through the door as he inserted the key.

  Sandy got up quickly looking into the polished metal safety mirror, checking her hair in the distorted view.

  ~~~

  Jack sat in the visitation room; he had avoided this for weeks and now months and just couldn’t wait any longer to do it.

  Sandy’s heart almost stopped when she entered the room and found Jack sitting there. She had always expected that eventually he would show. But after weeks and months she had finally given up hope. The nightly assaults by the demon had pretty much destroyed any hope she had for anything.

  “Hi, Jack,” she said, hating how her voice cracked just a little bit. The sight of him brought back a flood of good memories and feelings. She wanted to run to him, hold him, and tell him the truth. But she could see by the look in his face that…

  “We need to talk,” Jack said flatly.

  “Should we sit down?” she asked, hoping for a yes.

  “I don’t think so. Look I hate to tell you this but I wanted to tell you myself. I didn’t want you to hear about this from anyone else. We will be divorced next month. If you ever get out of here, the district attorney will charge you with murder. There is no hope for us. how can there be? You killed our daughter…”

  “Jack, it’s not true!” she blurted out.

  “Sandy just stop,” Jack said harshly. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care what you have to say. It’s over. The judge has granted it under the circumstances.”

  “I understand; I don’t blame you,” Sandy said, tears flowing freely down her face. “It doesn’t change the way I feel about you. But I will just have to live with that.”

  So much for keeping it together, she thought to herself.

  “There is something else you need to know.”

  Jack paused; Sandy could see the inner turmoil and guilt in his eyes.

  “You’ve moved on, right?” She said voice breaking.

  “Yeah, I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did.”

  “Anyone I know?”

  “Sasha.”

  “She’s a great person Jack; she needs someone like you with Dave being gone. She’s very pretty, you did well,” She was sobbing now.

  “Thanks,” Jack said. “And for what it’s worth, I hope you find some kind of peace with everything. I don’t understand and I don’t want to. I just want to move on. I want to forget about all this. I mean, I’ve seen things over in the middle east that haunt me every time I close my eyes. I buried the daughter I never got to hold, and I lost you, I lost my best friend and my whole life. Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ever going to get over all of this, it seems like a nightmare. I didn’t do anything to deserve any of this,”

  Jack turned, walking away.

  “Jack, please, I love you! I loved Abby! I didn’t do it, Jack! I can’t explain it but it wasn’t me! Please Jack, don’t leave me!”

  Sandy collapsed on the visiting room floor. Jack disappeared down the hall never looking back.

  ~~~

  Sandy was led back to her room; the orderly, usually talkative, kept quiet as she wept.

  Once in her room, Sandy sat on the bed, arms wrapped around her knees, rocking back and forth. She had known this day would come. She had played it over and over in her mind; what words she would say to bring comfort to Jack, to have another embrace from the man she loved dearly and would until her death.

  As the sun set, a dinner tray was brought and sat on the dresser. It sat untouched and cold, much like the rage that seethed inside of Sandy. She had grieved but now she was angry, she could feel reality slip a bit. She had a plan, she would deny the demonic clown its off spring and she would not be a victim any more.

  She waited for the visit she had always dreaded, but tonight she waited with a smile and a peace in her shattered mind. When the lights went out at bedtime, Sandy stood; she knew what was coming and tonight she was looking forward to it.

  She stripped off like she had learned to do every night for months. She stood, enjoying the coolness on her naked flesh. She walked to the desk; she picked up the ink pen, finding the feel of it reassuring.

  She waited in the dark until she heard the door slam like it did every night, the whistling of Pop Goes the Weasel, and the heavy footsteps.

  She felt the monstrous baby move inside her. She placed a hand on her belly, feeling it, remembering when was pregnant with Abby, and how happy and wondrous those days had been.

  As those memories flooded her mind, she plunged the ink pen into her belly, impaling the demon spawn that g
rew stronger inside her every day. Again, and again she plunged the pen into her flesh; she would deny the demon the baby it had bred within her.

  She drew the pen across and tore the skin and muscles of her mutilated abdomen, making a large hole. Then, she used her hands to tear it open wider.

  She reached in and pulled the baby from her ripped womb. It was horrid looking, human in form, but not human. The skin was leathery and the face looked much like its father’s. She held the baby for a moment before swinging it by the legs, bashing its head over and over, leaving blood and brains on the tile floor.

  She had worked fast. She was determined. She hurt, and she was bleeding out—but not fast enough. She wanted to make sure that they could not save her, and that she could not be used anymore. She brought her wrist to her mouth and ripped out a massive chunk of flesh. She spat skin, muscle, and tendon to the floor, and then turned to the other wrist.

  She could hear the demon outside the door, feel the temperature drop as it came into the room, and she could feel its anger as it took in the scene.

  Sandy stood facing the demon, a smile on her lips as the blood poured from her wounds.

  “Go to hell,” She whispered weakly.

  The demon roared its fury. Every locked door on the unit slammed open, and every patient screamed as visions of hell invaded their minds. The already deranged residents turned on the staff and then each other.

  The last thing that Sandy felt was being jerked off her feet by her hair; once again she was left dangling. Nearly dead, she whispered to the monster that held her.

  “Do it!”

  GOD FORGIVE ME

  Terry stood in the scalding water trying to wash the dirty feeling in his soul: no amount of scrubbing would take the guilt away. Deep, soul-wrenching sobs made his body shake. How could he do this to Mary? This wasn’t like him! But now she knew, her heart was broken and she wanted a divorce.

  They had made it through his first affair after much pain and suffering for the both of them. Things were going well enough; at least Terry thought things were OK. He knew he was battling depression, and that he was miserable with life in general, but he loved Mary and he was happy with her. She was the one bright spot in his life. How he wished that he could show her how much she meant to him.

  Then he met someone on Facebook. He wasn’t looking for anyone; he really loved his wife. His Facebook buddy was a great friend and shared the common ground of writing. Collaboration was easy, and they even joined a contest together. All the teasing, plotting, and excitement turned into inappropriate conversations.

  How could I be so stupid? he fumed.

  Finally, when he was confronted, he told her no more of that talk and that had been the end.

  He liked the girl on Facebook. She was a good writing partner, and the creative input was stimulating, making his mind hum with various book ideas. Allowing things to get out of hand had cost him not only his wife, but also a friend that could help with his writing and career. Even at that, he would lose a thousand friends and careers to keep his wife. Maybe things had gone too far for her to forgive. Maybe now she was too hurt to move on with him.

  Drying off, he went into the bedroom where she sat on the bed staring off into space. He reached for her, but she pulled away. There were no tears this time, just a blank stare. She seemed emotionally frozen, unreachable.

  “Honey, please! You have to know how sorry I am. Please let me fix this! I will do whatever it takes.”

  “Terry, it’s too late. I’m over it, I’m over you, and I’m over everything.”

  She got up from the bed and left the room, leaving him alone with his guilt and tears. In time, mental exhaustion took over and he fell into a deep sleep where his dreams took him to places he never wanted to go again.

  He dreamt of his wife leaving him and seeing her in another man’s arms. Even in his dreams his body was wracked with pain. Even there he was sobbing, begging her to forgive him, and begging for her to let him fix himself and their marriage. But she ignored him and walked away.

  He awoke feeling exhausted but even more determined to reconcile if she would let him. He finished dressing, grabbing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt from the dresser. Making his way down stairs, he looked for Mary.

  Not finding her, he called out for her but didn’t get an answer. Panic seemed to creep in and overtake him. Something was wrong, he could feel it. There was a palpable sense of evil in the air. He couldn’t explain why he felt this way but it seemed to overpower him, like the smell of something that had gone bad. Dashing through the house, Terry checked every room, finally reaching the garage. There, he found Mary hanging from the rafters by her neck; her face was blue and her eyes were bulging.

  “Mary!” He sobbed, rushing to her, trying to free her body yet knowing in his heart he was too late. He couldn’t manage to take her weight and undo the knot, so he sadly released her body and watched her as she dangled like a macabre decoration. Running back to the kitchen, he grabbed a knife from the butcher block. Back out in the garage lifting her with one hand, cutting her down with the other.

  He lowered his wife to the dirty floor and sat holding her lifeless body as he sobbed, stroking her hair. Terry now wished that he could feel that pain of dreams and silent rejection from before. This pain felt as though his heart was being ripped from his chest. He held her until he could cry no more. Mary was gone now and never would return. Terry’s mind had snapped with grief of his betrayal. To lose her this way was just too much for him to bear.

  I can’t live without her, his thoughts lurched through him as he staggered into the house carrying her body. He carried her up to the bedroom, laying her gently on the bed, and removed the rope from her neck. Lovingly, he removed her clothes, leaving her naked. In his tormented mind, she looked as lovely as she had in life. She had been his reason for breathing. Now the hatred he felt for himself filled him with a rage that consume him. Lost now in psychotic grief, he was beyond the reach of reason.

  He stripped down lying naked beside her. He leaned over to give her one last kiss; never noticing the coolness of her skin. With tears in his eyes, Terry retrieved the knife from down stairs where he had left it. He returned to the bedroom and quietly got into bed with Mary lying flat on his back feeling as if he could not breathe from the anguish he felt.

  “God forgive me!” he sobbed as he plunged the knife into his heart. Terry felt the pain of the blade but embraced it as a real pain and not the shadowy demons that chased him in his dream or the new reality of Mary’s dead body lying beside him. He deserved this, didn’t he? In his damaged mind, it seemed to be a penance of sorts. As the blood pulsed out of his damaged heart, he finally seemed to find some warmth and happiness. Fading and euphoric from the loss of blood, Terry envisioned the two of them holding each other in love and the comfort of God. He hoped that this final desperate act would bring him the forgiveness he so desperately sought. Falling into darkness, he imagined Mary waiting in Heaven for him.

  Terry drifted off, not to Heaven but to hell. His sins would never be forgiven. Mary would not wait for him at the gates of Heaven. The two of them lay naked on the bed; she, blue with her neck twisted unnaturally; he, with his eyes open and a small smile on his face, in a puddle of blood spreading out against the white sheets with small pastel flowers.

  A dark figure moved out of the shadows. Its work was done. He came to destroy them and had done so. Knowing their weaknesses, he had exploited them. For weeks, he had whispered into the unheeded parts of Terry’s mind that he wasn’t happy with life. What could it hurt to just talk to another woman on the internet? He could do it and just be friends.

  Once the door was open, the whispers changed; now enticing him to his indiscretions while another black figure whispered into the ear of a woman a thousand miles away, urging her into the excitement of the forbidden. All the while the shadow was whispering into Mary’s ear that Terry didn’t love her, didn’t need her, didn’t cherish her, and didn’t think sh
e was attractive anymore and a hundred other lies.

  The figure looked down at the two. It felt no compassion at the tragedy it wrought; only contempt for yet two more humans—just like all the others he had spent eternity destroying. The figure left the bedroom without a sound, walking away from the crumpled beings and shattered souls.

  Terry awoke with a start. The pain was incredible. He was burning in a sea of fire, black shadows all round. In the distance, he could hear Mary’s screams of anguish. By driving her to her own destruction, he had sentenced her to live in hell with him.

  Now he would live with his guilt and her torment for eternity.

  DEVIL’S DAY

  Lucy had sat her desk at the Chicago law firm where she worked angrily re-typing legal documents for the third time that morning. She had made no errors on the documents but one lawyer in the firm was an idiot and never had his shit together so that meant a lot of extra work for Lucy and the other girls and a lot of wasted time. They all resented the extra workload and wished the other partners would get rid of him but he was one of the “good old boys” so that wasn’t likely to happen soon.

  She desperately wanted the day to be over because at 3:00 pm her long weekend would start. Lucy had no real plans besides a much-needed break and was looking forward to just being lazy and watching Netflix or maybe she would go do some shopping downtown, but until then she had to finish these stupid legal briefs.

  As she finished the documents once again her phone beeped its tone in her ear, grrr... it was the same idiot lawyer! Luckily though this time all he wanted was to add a minor detail, and it didn’t involve starting the whole document over again. She finished, saved it, and sent it, she hoped that the idiot would leave her alone for the rest of the day.

  She headed to use the restroom and to sneak in a break since it wasn’t quite lunchtime yet. God would this day ever end? She grabbed her purse from the drawer and headed down the hall. Lucy knew all the men were eye-balling her as she went. She was beautiful and was used to people undressing her with their eyes and including more than a few women. There were several women at the firm and in the building, that had made passes at her, but she didn’t really see it when she looked in the mirror.