I Need You Forever

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  “I dyed my hair back to my natural color and let it grow out. Declan had me color my hair a deep brown with red highlights; he claimed to hate my raven locks. My father flew home after packing up the rest of my things in the apartment. In order to throw off suspicion, he sent more of my belongings through the mail to his old place in Texas, while the more important items went to a P.O. Box in DeLand, a few towns over from where he’d moved.

  “I used my new name to travel by bus to various stops along the way. I always paid cash so no paper trail was possible, and I hid my identity with a few wigs and disguises along the way. It took me over a week to make it back, especially with being a bit banged up, but the flesh-color padded suit helped to disguise what was going on underneath. I just looked like a chubby teenager on a ride home to visit her grandparents, or at least that’s what I told everyone. I couldn’t hide how stiff I moved or the fact that I had some slight bruising still left on my face, but I passed it off as a skateboarding accident, and no one asked any questions.”

  Everyone in the room was silent. I looked around to see who all was listening when I realized Alexander, Carol, and Kent had joined in. Most of the guys’ mouths were hanging open. Carol had tears in her eyes and concern etched across her face. Jax just looked at me and uttered, “I’m in awe of you. I never realized just how strong you are, but you are a survivor.”

  He looked back over toward Carol and Kent and explained. “I asked Carol here to talk with you and set up some possible counseling in case you felt you needed to discuss things with another female. I can be present with you for moral support or not; it’s your choice and your right to privacy. I already know I’d like to kill this bastard and if he ever crosses my path, I might just do that.”

  Alexander spoke up. “You might have to take a number, Jax.” He looked over at Derrick, complete seriousness written across his face, “Make sure you and Rick locate this bastard and put a tail on him. You have my permission to bring in Titan Security on this and spare no expense. I want to keep this jerk at bay and maybe give him a legal dose of his own medicine, so to speak. I’d like to increase security at the office and at any location Robin is at to ensure he has no ability to get within ten feet of her.”

  “Consider it done, sir.” Derrick agreed too easily.

  I could feel all eyes on me and began shifting in Jax’s lap. “What is it, Robin?”

  I didn’t know how to say it. I stared down at the floor as I fidgeted, finally ushering the words, “There’s more. Declan isn’t the only threat I’m dealing with.”

  I HELD ON TO Robin, even tighter than before, wondering how this small wisp of a girl could get herself into so much trouble. Granted, I understood how someone could be enamored by her beauty and kindness, wanting to claim her as their own. Even though we worked together, I’d never really known her; however, after our short time together today, I was now ready to guard her as though our lives depended on it. Hell, I bet every man in this room was willing to do the same.

  She didn’t deserve what she’d gone through. I know I’d had several pity parties over losing my wife but after hearing what this girl went through, my issues paled in comparison. She was a superwoman in my book. My mind instantly flashed with her dressed up in a superhero role-playing costume that had been popular in the club when Gabi and I used to go. Get your mind out of the gutter and back on the issue at hand.

  Alexander was the first to ask. “What kind of threat are we talking about?”

  She looked embarrassed, quickly apologizing. “I’m sorry, sir. I should’ve never come to work for your company. I thought since no one had bothered me that I was safe.”

  Alexander waved his hand in dismissal and laughed it off. “Robin, life has a way of guiding us where we need to be. It’s obvious to me that you were destined to come here. You’ve been most helpful to our company and our family. I look at you as a member of the family. You went to bat for Marissa, stood up to me to be heard, took care of the Marketing Department when all of us were dealing with our loss and for that I’ll be forever in your debt. Just tell us what’s wrong, and we’ll do our best to make sure you’re safe.”

  I reached out to her, cupping the side of her face with my hand and lifting her eyes to meet mine. “What’s going on and why were you living in such poor conditions?”

  She took a deep breath in defeat and finally started talking. “Everything seemed fine when I first came here. My dad was the construction manager of a new company in town. I had a new identity, but I’d run into some trouble with the university. My transcripts and my acceptance to school had been under my old name. I’d managed to bribe a person at the registrar’s office to change my name to the one on my id. It cost a pretty penny to do that, and I hadn’t made up the money by the time the last semester hit.”

  She placed a hand on my shoulder and confessed, “That’s why I owe you money still. Gabi caught me crying and asked why. I’d told her I was going to have to drop out of school and the intern program because I couldn’t afford the final amount for my last couple of classes. On my desk the next day was a cashier’s check made out to the university for the amount I needed.”

  My Gabi would do anything for someone she trusted. “As I’ve told you before, if you’d come to me with your issue, I would’ve done the same.”

  “As would I.” Alexander spoke up.

  “And?” I prompted Robin.

  “Things appeared fine until Declan showed up at my father’s house a year later. My dad happened to be home, but thankfully I was at work. My ex demanded to know if I was alive and threatened my father that if he was lying, he’d pay because nothing would keep him from me.”

  I shook my head and asked the question that must’ve been on everyone’s minds. “Why would he just show up out of the blue like that?”

  Robin shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. My father was careful not to talk about me. As far as I know, he kept up the charade that he had one living son and one deceased daughter.

  “Dad ended up talking with Declan for about an hour before he left. Then my father called me at work to warn me, so I accepted Marissa’s offer to go out for dinner, and, just in case the house was being watched, I avoided going back home until the wee hours of the morning. I’d stored the padded suit, extra clothes, and wigs in the trunk of my car for just such an emergency. Declan, would never recognize me entering the house wearing that stuff.”

  She stretched her neck, tension obviously making it tight. I reached up to rub circles into her neck muscles and encouraged her to continue. “So where does this other threat come in?”

  Robin relaxed into the motion of my hand. “Things seemed to return to normal, but then accidents started happening all over my father’s workplace. His job was threatened several times to make sure things ran smoothly. Believing that maybe someone from a competing construction company was trying to cause chaos to have them thrown off the job, he started pulling extra hours, but it didn’t pan out. They had him going into the bowels of the buildings to check every inch of everything to ensure things were okay. That’s when his health started to decline.

  “My father had never been sick a day in his life. He’d just had a complete physical a few months earlier and got a clean bill of health. Then out of nowhere he started having some breathing difficulties, memory loss, pain in his joints, high blood pressure, loss of appetite, and a whole gamut of issues.”

  She looked up at all of us, her face full of empathy and pain – her eyes threatening to overflow with tears. “How does that happen? One minute you’re the picture of health and the next you have all these mysterious issues.”

  Kent asked. “What did the doctors say?” His and Carol’s expressions were similar, like they knew what was about to be revealed.

  Robin’s shoulders slumped. “The construction company selected a new primary doctor for their insurance plan, and he’d dismissed all the issues as Dad being tired from working too many hours and suggested he take a couple days
off work. The short vacation seemed to get his faculties back in working order, and he appeared to be good to return to work; however, as soon as he did, the symptoms started again and got progressively worse. That’s when I began to question if his job was making him sick.

  “Dad dismissed the idea and said it was the best pay he’d ever received and was determined to ensure that both Jonas and I were taken care of in the future.” Her voice faltered, as the tears began to fall. “Little did he know there wasn’t much of a future left to enjoy.”

  Rubbing up and down her back, I held her tight against my chest as everyone seemed to squirm around me. We needed to know what was going on, but we also knew we couldn’t rush her; she’d already been hurt more than anyone should. “Take your time, sweetie.” What the heck possessed me to say that word? I looked over at Alexander, and he seemed to be smiling at me holding Robin so close. Did he approve of my wanting to protect her? He had been pushing that I needed to move on, but did he have to do it so openly?

  She sat back and wiped a few stray tears away. Carol had sat on the other side of me and grabbed hold of one of Robin’s hands. “Go on, dear.”

  “Dad kept getting worse. The doctor kept saying nothing was wrong, but he finally relented and got the insurance to approve an appointment with a specialist. By that time dad was starting to cough up some blood on occasion. I’d feared the worse, and I’d been right to. He had cancer in his lungs.” She stopped, her face scrunched up in confusion. “I couldn’t understand how he could have lung cancer when he never smoked, never stayed around anyone who did, and was insistent that no one smoked on his job sites due to dangerous chemicals in the area.”

  Carol asked, “Was it the chemicals causing things?”

  Robin shook her head. “No. They eventually did a biopsy of the cancer to see how aggressive the cells were and some detailed blood work. They ended up finding traces of asbestos in his lungs and lead poisoning in his blood.”

  Causing most of us to jump, Derrick and Alexander both pounded their fists on the nearest flat surface to them. Derrick finally asked the question we all knew the answer to. “So you think this was intentional?”

  She nodded. “The doctor reported it to local officials, but when they went out to the job site, my dad’s face mask and gloves were nowhere to be found, so they couldn’t run tests on them. The company agreed to put him on disability leave as he started chemotherapy treatment to reduce the size of the cancer and tried to remove the lead from his system.”

  Her face looked haunted as she scanned the room, before settling her eyes on mine. “His company found a loophole and let him go. I carried the insurance for a while with my paycheck, but all the uncovered expenses started piling up. We had to short sell the house and the car. That’s when I moved into that shit-hole of a place I was living. I wanted somewhere close to his doctors and medical facilities, somewhere we had easy access to public transportation, yet I could also walk to work. With all the expenses I owe, I haven’t been able to recover; that’s why I’m still there.”

  “And the threat?” Rick questioned.

  “After Dad passed, I started investigating the company, calling new venues’ practices to question their procedures, even calling OSHA and the EPA to see what they could do to investigate. As a result, my place was trashed a few times, and notes were left telling me to back off the investigation or else. So I’ve dropped it for now.”

  “What do you want us to do, boss? It’s your call.” Rick asked Alexander.

  He didn’t waste any time. “You guys call in whatever favors you need to figure out this whole mess. We can’t have one of our own being threatened. Search every angle, leave no stone unturned, and get me some answers. But make sure your investigating is under the radar. We don’t want to attract too much attention and cause any harm to come to Robin.”

  Alexander walked over and scrunched down in front of us. He forced Robin to look him in the eyes. “Sweetheart, I wish you would’ve come to me about all this. If you had, we might have been able to save your dad and locate your brother earlier. All I know is that our paths guide us to where we need to be and right now you are surrounded by the most capable hands that will keep you safe. We just need you to continue being honest and communicate with us if you think of anything else.”

  Alexander had always been a hard businessman and to the point when needed, but he was also as soft as a teddy bear when it came to the people he cared about. It was obvious he cared for Robin. It was no surprise when he said, “I’d offer you a room at my place, but we have the grandkids over so often, and Celia’s so busy with our charity organizations that we would be too busy to keep a close eye on you. I think the best place to be right now is here with Jackson and my little granddaughter.” He looked up at me and winked. “Besides he could use your help with Nicola. She could use a woman’s care and influence.”

  Great, even he was pushing us to be together. Is it my fate to help her? I knew if I spent all my time around Robin, I wouldn’t be able to fight the feelings I was having for her. Would Gabi be upset with me for considering the idea of moving on? For that matter, could I even open my heart to the possibility of rejection or, considering the risks that surround Robin’s life, maybe even losing her?

  Before I knew what happened, Carol had scheduled to come by the house and talk with Robin a few nights a week after work, while Kent convinced me that I needed to continue with our sessions too. I wanted to argue it, but both he and Alexander urged me to move forward. Apparently, they both could tell I was conflicted over my desire to keep Gabi’s memory alive and with wanting to help Robin. I hadn’t realized I could be read like an open book, but I knew they were right. I didn’t argue and agreed to talk.

  It took a while, but everyone finally left. I showed Robin where everything was in the house, including her room. “Make yourself at home and help yourself to anything in the cupboards and refrigerator. If there’s anything I can do or anything you need, just let me know.” I pointed to the room next to hers. “I’ll be right in here. I usually sleep with my door partially open so I can hear if Nicola is moving around in the night.” I didn’t know what else to do or say, so I started back toward the door. Just watching her standing next to the bed unpacking her clothes was sending the wrong ideas through my mind - one’s I had no business entertaining. If only I could forget about how powerful that kiss was at her place.

  “Thanks, but you’ve already done more than enough. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you. I’m happy to help cook, clean, take care of Nicola, or anything you need to help take some stress off of you.”

  My eyes closed briefly, processing what she’d said. Yes, I definitely needed some stress relief, but I don’t think either of us is ready to go down that road yet. “I’ll consider it. I’m usually an early riser. If I go anywhere in the morning, it’ll be to spend time with Nicola.”

  She looked around and noticed the time on the clock on her nightstand. Her hand flew up to her chest as she apologized. “I’m so sorry, Jax. I never meant to come between you and your daughter. This is why I need to go somewhere far away from here, so no one’s lives are messed up on account of mine.”

  I held a hand up to her. “Nicola has spent the night at my parents’ place before. Plus, having turned most of the duties over to her manager when Niki was born, my mom only goes in to her bookstore a few days a week. I’ll run us by their house tomorrow on the way to work so I can spend a few moments with my daughter, and then she’ll come home with us after we’re done at the office.”

  I stepped forward, grabbing hold of her face with both of my hands, and pressed my forehead to hers. “I told you before that there would be no running, not from your past, not from your dad’s employers, and definitely not from me. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you.” I quickly kissed her forehead and realized she’d held her breath the entire time I was near her. I swiftly left the room for her to consider the double-entendre of what I’d said.

  A
S JAX LEFT THE room, I wondered if he’d truly meant what he’d said. The words “You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you,” replayed over and over in my mind.

  I ran through every possible meaning of the words but soon realized he must have meant he needed me to help take care of Nicola. I was here in a domestic capacity for work, not for him. I reasoned the kiss we’d shared earlier was nothing more than a means for him to distract me while he reached for the note Declan had left.

  My heart told me to be guarded and on alert. I’d promised myself, since my ex, I’d never fall as easily for another man again. Girl, Jax isn’t just any man. You interned with him and his wife for almost a year, and then worked for his department for the past two. If he had something to hide, you’d know it.

  There wasn’t much I didn’t know about Jax. I knew his work hours, his favorite foods, that he spent a lot of time with his family and also the Prescotts, and, after today, I had no doubt in my mind he was a dominant. But was he into the club scene that Declan had dragged me to? I hoped not. I didn’t like being put on display, and I wouldn’t tolerate any degradation or humiliation, which was my ex’s preferred choice of punishment.

  I could feel myself start to shake and sat down on the bed. Why was it so hard to let go of the past? Then again, why did I believe Declan would move on, letting me go? I still had the instinct to run, but I knew when he put his mind to it he could find me at any cost. He’s already found you twice, might as well give it up, girl and hope these guys can help you.

  “I’m screwed.” The words were hard to hear, but they made me realize the safest place for me to be right now was right here. If I tried to leave, the security team was given orders to return me. Mr. Prescott and Jax believed that it was better to let them work their magic and wait things out until Declan made a move again. Would I ever feel safe again, even if the threat was neutralized? What about the construction company? They’d sent goons out to scare me and it worked. Would they assume it’s me investigating again if Titan Security started looking into them? Would they try to hunt me down?