I Need You Forever

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  Rick leaned forward and gave a small pat to my knee for reassurance. I jumped when I heard a low growl emanate from the back of Jax’s throat, causing Rick to put his hands up in surrender. “I was going to let you know it wasn’t just you. They had this racket going for several years and were rolling in cash. They’d managed to swindle over a half-million dollars from others. We caught them just in time; they were going to flee the country. Turns out they already had airline tickets booked to the south Caribbean.”

  I turned to Jackson. “Since my money isn’t going to pay medical bills anymore, I should probably pay you some rent or find a place of my own to give you and Niki back your space.” I held my breath wondering how he’d answer. Truthfully, I didn’t want to leave, but I wanted him to know I wasn’t trying to come into his or his parents’ lives for their money. I just wanted him. I loved him and Nicola.

  Jackson stood abruptly, almost knocking over his chair as he picked me up in his arms and sat back down with me on his lap. He had a firm hold around my back and my legs. “First, you’re not going anywhere. There’s still the matter of your father’s company leaving threatening notes and of course Declan.” The last part was said with pure hatred in his voice, making me shiver in fear. I looked away from his face.

  “Second,” he turned my head so I’d look at him, “I don’t like saying this in front of everyone, but you’ve been a breath of fresh air to mine and Niki’s lives. I don’t know where this is going or where it’ll end up, but I’m not ready to let you go. And if you think for one minute I’m going to let you walk out of my life and my house with your life still in danger, you’re crazy.” His voice faltered and he stopped talking – his face looked like he was trying to get control of his emotions. “I’ve lost one woman I’ve loved in my life; I don’t want to risk losing another. I think I’m falling for you, honey.”

  I’d been sure that he was ready to let me go, let me walk out of his life, but to hear him admit he loved me left me speechless. I sat there with his words roaming over and over in my mind. Did he really just say that?

  Breaking the spell I was under, he shook my shoulders lightly. “Aren’t you going to say anything? I just opened up my heart and exposed myself to you, and I’m left wondering if you feel the same way.”

  I nodded. “I think I’m falling for you too.”

  We both were shocked when Alexander said, “It’s about damn time.” We looked up to see Derrick and Rick agreeing.

  That’s when I noticed Derrick’s face. There was tension in his shoulders. Something was off, so I had to ask, “What’s the bad news, Derrick?”

  His eyes closed and everyone silenced as he spoke. “Your brother’s team received some bad Intel, causing them to walk right into enemy territory and into a trap. Several of the members were killed, more than a few have been taken hostage, and a small number of them got away. We’re trying to get as much information as we can. The military is being tight-lipped about all this and not giving away much information. They’re currently trying to negotiate a hostage exchange.”

  I broke down crying on Jax’s shoulder as his hands pulled me close, trying to soothe me. “Is he?”

  “We haven’t been able to determine if he’s one of the hostages or one of the few that are lying low until help arrives. They weren’t willing to release the names of the dead, but one of our contacts confirmed Jonas was not on that list. They’re trying to work with the militants to secure the list of men they have hostage to try and work out a negotiation deal. We think he might be with that group, but we’re not sure. He’ll be back, don’t worry.”

  I felt my lungs constrict; I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. Everything became unfocused around me. Jax grabbed hold of my head and turned me to where our foreheads touched. “Robin, you need to focus.”

  Alexander yelled out for someone to get Carol or Kent here immediately. I heard someone on the phone, saying what I don’t know, while I heard footsteps moving frantically around me.

  I kept trying to shake Jackson’s hands loose, but he was too strong. I found myself gripping his wrists and needing to hold on, to what I don’t know. I felt my reality slipping away.

  “You will follow my commands and focus, now.” Jax’s voice took on a dominant tone –one he’d reserved for us when we were in his bedroom. My eyes met his, but I felt cold as my body shook. I couldn’t lose my brother. I needed him.

  “Listen to me, honey. You’re having a panic attack. I need you to focus on my eyes and concentrate on my voice. Can you do that?”

  I nodded.

  “That’s my girl. I want you to focus on breathing with me. Let’s breathe in, hold it for one-two-three, and breathe out.” I felt the weight of a blanket being placed around me as Jax kept his grip on my face and forced me to focus on my breathing. I knew there was commotion going on behind me, but all I could hear was Jackson’s voice.

  I heard the clicking of heels coming toward us and the pressure of a woman’s hand against my wrist. “Her pulse is through the roof and her breathing is unsteady. How long has Jax been helping her breathe?” I recognized the voice belonging to Carol. Her hand rubbed against my shoulders and back as she asked her question.

  Alexander’s voice came booming through the background, “About ten minutes now. Hoping you’d be able to advise us, we called you as soon as we passed the three-minute mark. She just found out that her brother may or may not be a hostage of a militant group.”

  Carol had an audible gasp, “Oh, dear.” I could feel her kneel close to my ear. “I want you to focus on the fact that your brother will come home. These guys are excellent at what they do. They have connections that defy explanation, so if anyone can get your brother back home, you need to trust that they will.”

  Denying that this was all happening, I tried to shake my head again. Jax wouldn’t let go of me. I was beginning to feel my world crumbling around me when I felt a sharp pinch to my upper arm. Carol’s voice was soothing and apologetic. “I’m sorry, Robin. I really am, but you need to relax and calm down. I’ve given you a little something that should start to kick in momentarily. You’re going to be just fine. Jax and I will stay by your side until you wake up.”

  I tried nodding, but my head felt heavy like the weight of a bowling ball. I found myself begin to sway a bit before Jax pulled me tight against his chest, my head fitting just under his chin. “You need to rest now, honey. You’ll get through this, and I’ll be here to support you every step of the way.”

  Alexander spoke up, “We all will, sweetheart. We’re all here for you.”

  Everything went black before I could respond to thank them. I drifted into nothingness, and that’s exactly what my life felt it had become.

  I FELT A BIT of moisture around my eyes from knowing how much Robin was hurting. I hadn’t realized how close I felt to her until this moment.

  Breathing a big sigh of relief that she was finally resting, I leaned my head back against the chair. Everyone offered to help me get her to a bedroom, but I asked for just a few minutes to allow myself to calm down.

  Carol was the first to break the silence in the room. “I hate hearing about her brother. Are you still trying to locate her mom?”

  Alexander’s mood was grim. “We found her.”

  “Where?” Carol and I seemed to ask within seconds of each other.

  My father-in-law spoke up. “Robin has been adamant that she doesn’t care to know where her mother is, especially since she walked out on her family over twelve years ago. We only searched for her in hopes that maybe there’d be a reasonable explanation for things. Anyway, it turns out her mother and step-father were killed in a car accident three years ago by a drunk driver.” With the slightest hint of tears in his eyes, he looked over toward us. “The poor girl only has her brother and now this happens. I’d give anything to be able to help her right now, anything to help take away her pain.”

  He looked pointedly at me, “She needs you Jax, and I hope you’ve come to realize
you need her too. She’s good for you.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I do realize that. I’m still working through things, but I know I love her. I’m just scared to take that final step.” I looked up at Carol. “I’m talking with Kent on working through my fears of the future. I keep having dreams of everything being perfect and then all my happiness being ripped away again.”

  I could feel a tear slide slowly down one cheek. “I can’t go through that kind of pain again. I need a promise or guarantee of forever, but I know that’s not possible.”

  I closed my eyes hoping I could gain some control over my emotions, when I felt Alexander’s hand gently squeezing my shoulder. “Nothing is forever, son. There are no promises when it comes to life, that’s why we call it the present. We need to live each day to our fullest, appreciate what is closest to our hearts, and anticipate a better day ahead. You need to let go of your regrets. You have a wonderful woman in your life who adores you and Niki. Don’t let that slip away. All I ask is you think about that.”

  His words were an arrow shot right to my heart. I felt the regrets of things I hadn’t done with Gabi and of things I wanted to do as a family with Niki – the very things I’d recently been enjoying with Robin. She’d come so easily into our lives, as if she were destined to be a part of them, but could that really be true? If I could only see past my fear of loss and ensure her safety by getting past the threats against her, then I’d feel better about the possibility of a life spent together.

  All I could do was respond, “I’ll think about it.”

  Not wanting to let go of the warmth and protection I was trying to provide her, I held Robin tightly in my arms as the guys helped get me to my feet. Every time I’d tried to move away from her at night, in our bed, she whimpered. I knew she needed me now more than ever. I didn’t want to be away from her for a second.

  We all walked out of the study, when Nicola came running up with concern etched on her little face. The look she gave me made me falter in my step. I was thankful that Alexander was standing behind me with a hand on my back to steady me.

  “Is Robin going to be okay?” Her expression looked identical to Gabi’s when she had shown empathy toward others. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d swear I was looking at my wife at that age.

  “She’ll be all right, princess. She’s just a little tired and needs to take a nap. Can you play with Grandma for a while?” I watched as she nodded.

  “Oh, dear. Is she okay?” Celia came around the corner and put her hand to her mouth in an audible gasp.

  Alexander stepped toward her and whispered in her ear. I could see the tears forming around the edges of Celia’s eyes. It was evident that everyone in this family, and mine, had fallen hard for Robin.

  Before taking Niki’s hand in hers, Celia came forward and put a gentle kiss on Robin’s cheek. “Let’s let Ms. Robin rest, and we can bake some cookies for her for when she wakes up. How does that sound?”

  Niki started jumping up and down and pulling Celia toward the kitchen. “Can they be chocolate chip?”

  They rounded the corner where I couldn’t hear any more of their conversation. “Let’s take her to the guest room downstairs and let her rest. We still have some things to talk about.”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. How much more could she handle? Hadn’t she been put through enough? But now I was curious to find out what was going on. Maybe I could deflect some of the things away from her for a while.

  I didn’t like the idea of leaving her in the room, but Carol assured me she’d stay beside her to monitor her vitals and keep her company until I returned.

  We walked back into the study where I started pacing back and forth. “What else is there?”

  With his lips in a grim line, Derrick looked up from the paperwork he was reading. “The local division of Devlin Ridge Construction is under investigation from OSHA. We didn’t blow the whistle, but there’ve been some threatening notes left at her apartment, and it’s been trashed again. We left word that she’s dropped the investigation and moved on, but someone from the company doesn’t seem to buy that answer.

  There’ve been several complaints filed against them by former employees citing hazardous working conditions, health complaints, and even threats made against employees to the point the local authorities have been called in to investigate.”

  He handed me some papers and let me look through them. It was all there in black and white – employee names, none of which were her father’s name of Antonio Forgione. “So why are they still blaming her?”

  Derrick explained. “The company’s not pointing the finger, it’s the two co-workers that her father had issues with. They have lengthy criminal records for causing accidents at job sites. They’re arrested but quickly released when no one was willing to press charges. Essentially, they’re bullies, and they happened to be on someone’s payroll to cause problems.”

  I felt the tension rise in my body as every hair stood up against the back of my neck warning me about evil headed our way. “Whose payroll are they on?”

  Derrick closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, “It turns out that Devlin Ridge Construction is owned and operated out of Austin, Texas by a Frank Devlin, uncle to Declan Meyers.”

  My jaw clenched. “Are you trying to tell me that somehow Declan is involved in possibly killing Robin’s dad? How is that?”

  Rick shot up from where he’d been sitting. “It gets worse, much worse.”

  I felt the need to sit down as he paced. “You know the excessive rainstorms they’ve been having the past couple of months in the Austin area?”

  I couldn’t understand why he’d bring this up, but I nodded. “Yeah, so?”

  “There’s been flooding everywhere. As a result of the water receding, sinkholes have opened up around some businesses and roads.”

  I still didn’t understand what this had to do with Declan or the construction company. “And?”

  Rick looked like he was going to be sick, so Derrick jumped in. “A sinkhole opened up at one of the businesses Devlin Ridge had completed about three and a half years ago. It opened up in the parking lot and unearthed a body that had been buried there and paved over.”

  With a pointed look to make sure he had my full attention, he continued, “The condition of the body showed he died from a bullet wound to the head. Since he’d been buried for at least three years, they couldn’t identify the body except by dental records and DNA matching.”

  I still didn’t know what the big deal was, why they were telling me all this. “So?”

  “It was Declan Meyers.”

  I shook my head wondering if my ears were playing tricks on me. “Come again?”

  Derrick nodded. “It was Declan Meyers. He died over three years ago and had been buried under a ton of asphalt at one of his uncle’s construction projects.”

  I wanted to yell out “Bullshit” but instead kept my composure and simply asked, “How is that even possible? She ran away from him only three years ago, and he’s recently left numerous messages – one’s we haven’t even passed on to her – saying he’s coming for her.”

  Feeling the need to punch something, anything, I stood up and paced back and forth. I finally threw my fist into the side of one of the bookcases, causing a few books to tumble out and onto the floor. “Jackson!” Alexander warned me. “Just hear them out. Derrick and Rick checked and rechecked everything before coming to you. They were in as much denial as you are now.”

  The knuckles on my fist were throbbing, but the pain helped to ground me where I could tolerate listening to whatever else they needed to tell me. “Can you please explain how all this is possible?”

  Rick took this one. “Remember how the fingerprint testing on the notes came back that it wasn’t Declan’s fingerprints.”

  A thought passed through my mind, a crazy one that you’d only think of happening on those crazy soap operas. Some of their storylines had really been out there, so hoping for some comic re
lief, I just blurted out the idea. “You’re not going to tell me Declan has some kind of evil twin or something are you? Come on, who makes up that kind of crazy shit?”

  The joke was on me. No one was laughing, not even Alexander. Everyone looked at me with all seriousness. I felt my heartbeat speed up, and I needed to gulp down the bile that was threatening to spew out of my mouth. I shook my head, it couldn’t possibly be. “Please, tell me I’m wrong.”

  Rick shook his head and Derrick chimed in. “I wish I could, man. I really wish I could. It turns out that none of us knew he existed. The records had been sealed tightly and buried for well over twenty-five years.”

  I could only ask. “Why?”

  Derrick continued with a sad expression on his face. “Declan had been born first with no complications, whereas Cain had to be delivered by emergency c-section. His umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck depriving him of oxygen. They’d been able to get him out alive, but he seemed a bit off with his temperament almost immediately.

  “Learning everything they could about anything they could get their hands on, both boys were thirsty for knowledge. However, while Declan was calm and loving, Cain used his fists to express emotion. They tried medication and showing him extra attention, but after a few years and inflicting several broken limbs on Declan, Cain was placed in a home that took care of aggressive kids.”

  Rick walked over to hand me some pictures they’d acquired of both twins together. Hoping they looked nothing alike, I glanced down at them only to see they were identical. “So what happened?”

  Derrick continued. “The Meyers had been living in El Paso, while the home Cain went to was in Austin. They’d been embarrassed over the problems he had caused in the area, so they had all traces of him sealed away, with the help of Mr. Meyers connections with the government. They moved to Austin to be closer to Mrs. Meyers brother, Frank, and to keep tabs on how Cain was doing. They still cared what happened to him.