Keeping the Promises

by Gajjar, Dhruv

‘I’m waiting for Angie’s message or call since morning. I know this is going to be really hard for her, but one thing is clear, no matter what, I’m going to support her. I’m going to stand by her side in her every decision. Even if she decides to break up with me, I won’t question her even once. That I promise to myself.’

  Just then, Ansh’s phone beeped.

  “We need to talk, call me as soon as possible.” Read Angie’s message.

  Without any second thoughts, Ansh hit the call button.

  “How’s everything baby?”

  “Not good Ansh. In fact, worse than we could have imagined!”

  “How?”

  “After you left, papa had a big quarrel with Badepapa and Rishi bhai,”

  “And?”

  “Badepapa said if he wants to support us and our relationship, then he must cut all strings with our family and leave the house. We will also be ostracized from our community.”

  “What? How? I mean, how can he do that? To his own young blood? And what did your grandpa say??”

  “He stood silent, as always.”

  “We also noticed his silence. Now what, Angie?”

  “Papa is ready to leave the house, but I can’t let him Ansh! He gave twenty years of his life to our family business. Still, he doesn’t have a single property to his name. He has no financial backup, he never asked for anything from Badepapa, and so he never got anything. He used to say that Mom was his biggest investment and I his best return. Now I have got to choose, Ansh! Forsake him or you. One of us will have to sacrifice, either you and me or papa,”

  “We can’t let him suffer, Angie. I was waiting for your message or call all day, but one thing was firm in my mind, one thing I promised myself that no matter what, and I mean it, no matter what! I’ll stand by you and your decision.”

  “Thanks Ansh!”

  “Hey baby, please don’t cry! See we had our moments, right? You know I’ll feel privileged to do it for papa. Whatever time we spent together, it was like a dream for me. But if you think this as our only option, I’m with you, no matter what.”

  “Need to go Ansh, bye.”

  “Bye.”

  ‘The love between our conversations is already dropped. It was easy to say those philosophical lines, but I know this is going to be hard. Maybe even impossible to live with. But I can’t blame her; she is right at her place. I have to make up my mind for the fact that you can’t keep what’s not yours, you can’t hold on to something that doesn’t want to stay. I just can’t – and again, no matter what, I’m going to keep my word.’

  These things were on Ansh’s mind when his phone started ringing; it was Gajju.

  “Bro, Angie’s father wants to meet us tomorrow. I’ve called him at Cafe Piano. I’ll come to pick you.”

  “Okay.” Ansh answered and hung up.

  ‘What could it be now? I shouldn’t give up. Maybe there is still some hope left. Maybe, this is not the end of my story. Maybe, this is not an end. Maybe, this is just an eternal middle. Let’s wait for the next day.’

  Ansh mumbled and went to bed, in tears.

  As I looked up, I saw Angie in tears, looking down. M and I reached for her hand, took her in our arms and she started groaning in pain. We three hugged each other tightly as she was shedding myriad amount of tears – like a small baby. For over five minutes, she kept crying – in pain, anguish. When she emptied all her tears and was sobbing atrociously, she looked up.

  “Why Dhruv? Why me? I left the person who almost got himself killed without food for me. Why am I so cruel?” She squeaked. M held our hand tightly.

  “Angie my friend, you are not cruel, you are just doing what is right at the moment. You are right! Even if Prasoon uncle is ready to leave the house, you can’t let him….” And then she turned to me, taking my hand and giving me Angie’s hand on the other hand, we three were holding each other’s hands… and she continued, “Angie, this is not the end of your story; we will not let your love end like this. Mithu! Today’s promise, I’m going to take in front of Angie. Promise me! You’ll bring Ansh and Angie together again.”

  I did. I made the promise by holding Angie’s hand, M’s hand and I’m glad that I made it.

  Later, much later, I learned that it was not me who brought them together. M, my smart ass girlfriend did it with all her intelligence. She was the one who planned an extraordinary end of their love story.

  I’m sitting on my bed, thinking about my future with Dhruv, of which I’m completely oblivious of. Will he ever be able to move on? Or am I just running after a shadow who does not want to see the light? My pros and cons are constantly trying to manipulate me – playing with my emotions, increasing my confusion. Suddenly, my phone beeps – it’s him. My jaw dropped when I read the text.

  ‘Nilu! I know you are doing things for me which no one can ever dream of doing. Knowing my dark side, you still love me for who I am. In fact, I love you too…I really do. But when I think of us being together, a thought of cheating comes across my mind. I still love M and I love you too. I just can’t understand the feelings I’m having inside. Is it possible to love two people at the same time? Well, I don’t have an answer to that, but I need you. I need you beside me – holding my hand just like you have been doing for the past eight months. I need you; just don’t leave me, ever. I can’t afford to lose you again.’

  I can hear my heart beating till my throat. My pros and cons have fainted – speechless and I know this is the time to tell him the truth that he deserves to know. I still can hear my heart as I dial his number.

  “Hello!”

  “Hey Nilu!”

  “Oh my god Dhruv, you are drunk…Again!”

  “Sorry Nilu, but I had to. You’ll understand it once you read my mail.”

  “Just take care of yourself, Dhruv. Don’t drink too much and call me tomorrow.”

  “Okay M, love you, bye.”

  That’s it! He loves M. He doesn’t have a place for me in his heart. My pros and cons are back, smirking at me. For the first time, they are on the same side – arching their brows at me. Why M, why? Why are you doing this to me, my friend?

  I open my mailbox and start reading.

  8 February

  When I reached inside her room with the tray full of flowers and a note, she had her eyes opened and I was happy enough to ignore her flummox eyes. I put the envelope in her hand and leaned forward to kiss her. For the first time in those eight days, she moved her face away from me. I was standing discombobulate – snapping at her to check if she was doing it on purpose or not and she reared back. I then tried to reach her hand, but before I could hold on to it, she snatched it away from me. My head started burning, what the hell was she up to? I tried it again – by trying to take her in my arms and before my hands could reach her body, she screamed out,

  “Who are you???” My heart chocked in my mouth as I heard her and she was loud – loud enough to make mom-dad run inside our room. They shed a few tears, but weren’t as surprised as I was.

  ‘Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?’

  “The time is near, Dhruv! Prepare yourself.” That’s all dad could say before leaving the room. Mom followed him. Then only I pressured my mind to look into the books I’ve read and almost forgotten. Peripheral nerve sheath tumour, they are eating her brain. Was it our time to part our ways? What was the point for me to be there when she couldn’t even recognise me? It would make everything worse and painful for me. What about the promises? The story I was writing for her? Was everything going in vain? Didn’t she remember any of them? The notes I had written for her? The orchids I gave? The kisses I marked on her lips? Had the tumour cells eradicated all of them from her memory? My mind was playing with my tears and me when I heard footsteps of mom and dad. Without saying a word, dad handed her two envelopes. They were of two different colours, one sky blue and one purple.

  “Just leave her alone for some time, Dhruv!” Dad tapped my shoulder and I followed them out with
tears in my eyes. I wasn’t ready for this. I certainly wasn’t.

  I didn’t have a choice, did I? She had taken her word from us about not calling her a doctor and I hate her for that. I still do. I then realised something about men. They feel a burning sensation inside their head, especially when they don’t feel right or realise that things are not going their way, but can’t do anything to change it. That’s the most embarrassing part of human life.

  “Everything will be fine, son!” Dad told me – whose consolation didn’t affect me at the time.

  “How dad? She has forgotten me. How can this be fine?” I squeaked in pain.

  “This is temporary Dhruv! Besides, she knew this was coming and was prepared for this. Trust me, she’ll be normal again. But, what I’m afraid of is that the time is near. One or two days if we are lucky!”

  “What??? I’m not going to let this happen. Not this soon!” That’s all I could say with all my challenging abilities. They sat quiet; they weren’t surprised by my reaction. They knew, had it been the first death coming in this family, they would have acted the same way, but they’d seen it before, many times. How could God be so cruel to this lovely family? Things like these made me doubt god’s existence in my mind.

  But, not after what I heard…

  “Mithu!” I rushed into our room as I heard it again – the voice, which I was craving to hear. As I went inside, I saw her blue eyes suspiciously checking me out.

  “Sorry Mithu! I didn’t know it would come this way,” I still caught her eyes rolling at me as if she wasn’t sure of my presence or may be… it was me.

  “M! Are you sure you remember me?” I finally asked, staring straight into her eyes, searching for the truth. Her blue eyes – like cocker spaniel which had just messed on the rug.

  “Okay, I admit, I don’t. I mean yes, I do, but you’ll have to help me with that. I knew it coming and made a few preparations myself, but they are not going to work without you holding my hand beside me. Understand?”

  I didn’t have the energy to separate my emotions; instead they were jumbled together, indistinguishable. I was standing pale, like an overloaded outlet, as if a breaker had tripped inside me, leaving me incapable of any action.

  “Understand Mithu?” She reached for my hand by saying that.

  “I could do it for the rest of my life.” My answer was obvious and true.

  “I know, but you are allowed to do it for the rest of my life, which is going to end soon!” Before I could break into tears, she pulled my head for a morning kiss. It was never quick and perfunctory, like acquaintances greeting each other. Our kisses were everlasting. I never pulled back and nor did she – the kiss lasted for a lifetime of its own. And when we finally drew apart, I knew with certainty that I’d done the right thing. It always was a blockbuster kiss. But that – with all exuberant affection – could not constrain our cheeks from getting wet. Two of us were crying while kissing; that was unlike us.

  “It felt like the first kiss of my life,” she said after we finished. Though it struck me hard on my chest, that innocent essence in her voice made me smile.

  “You’ll be getting plenty of these my love!” I said and squeezed her palm.

  “I’m counting on that,” and she blushed! My genius, impeccably beautiful blue-eyed girl was back.

  Unlike Alzheimer, memory loss in Neurofibrosarcoma is flaccid and capricious. May be once in a day, week…depending on her rapidly growing tumour cells. But as dad told me, everyone in their family died within two days after getting the first stroke of memory loss. Two days? What about the Valentine’s Day? We were supposed to celebrate it together.

  ‘Please my lord! Convince my faith in you. Please let us celebrate this Valentine’s Day together. I beg you please!’

  “So what’s in today’s note?” She moved my thoughts with her sweet voice. I then reached out for the plate full of orchids and the envelope.

  What if we never broke up?

  What if we faced it together?

  What if we had more time together?

  What if I hadn’t become an alcoholic?

  So many “what ifs” and so many possibilities, which can never be changed.

  But one can,

  Since I haven’t proposed you officially, can this propose day be our official patch up?

  She gazed at me for long before she answered, “You cannot take that away from me!” And I – without any reservations – reached for her lips. We kissed, a kiss as captivating as heaven itself. Eradicating all those “what ifs” from my mind, we thanked our God for the moment, with a selfish desire to give us a few more days before taking her away.

  She spent her afternoon in revising the notebook, while I was busy in remembering all the time I spent with her, wondering – with this bloody disease – how much she remembered. There were only a few days left and I knew it well. So for her, concentrating on the past was trying to decipher an image on a fuzzy television screen. She couldn’t remember one way or the other – no matter how hard she would try. All she could do was to live those memories through my words. That’s when I realised the power of words. They can make you live those forgotten moments, a wonderful lifespan, which only a book can offer. The possession it takes over the soul is rare in comparison to films or any other form of story narration. I owe my words to M, after all she was the one who pulled this off. I’m just a conveyer.

  At night, after having sweet corn soup cooked by mom and me, we both lay on our bed with the notebook in my hand. In a way, it was the first narration to her so we both were exited.

  And I started reading.

  On the way to Cafe Piano, Ansh was sitting sombrely, wanting to have no conversation at all. And Dhruv – knowing his friend regardless of any explanations – was giving him what he needed the most, silence-the only thing he could offer to his friend at the moment. Had he been in Ansh’s shoes, he knew he wouldn’t be as calm as Ansh was. He’d have smashed all the obstacles that would come between him and his love. At least that’s what he believed then, not knowing that the obstacles were on their way and there was nothing he could do about it.

  Once they reached there and faced Mr. Shah, both couldn’t help but notice his red, swollen eyes. Dhruv and Ansh felt like someone has backed over them with a truck. Angie, who held a special position in their lives, felt cursed after seeing her father like that.

  Without uttering a word, both took their respective seats.

  “Hello sons!” Even with so much pain, Mr. Shah was kind enough to greet them with a smile, but boys being boys merely nodded.

  “I guess Ansh, your girlfriend has already told you what happened yesterday,” he continued, understanding and ignoring their despondence.

  “Yes, sir! And you are not leaving the house, not for us,” he ordained. Mr. Shah welcomed it with a smile.

  “I expected this from you and that’s why I called you. Forget about Angie; tell me, will you be able to see someone else after her?”

  The question struck him hard inside, something that stirred everything inside of him, something sudden and unexpected. And before he could stop the words, they were out.

  “No!” And tears started pricking his eyes, knowing that it was true. Somewhere between when he saw Angie for the first time and they made love for the first time, he’d learned that life without Angie was hopeless and meaningless. Even though he hadn’t thought about it since last night, the very first thought irked by Mr. Shah frightened him. It was a nightmare he did not want to live.

  “I know and you won’t have to. Trust me.”

  “How, sir?” That’s all he could say.

  “Angel is twenty-one now. I’ve seen her growing up in front of my eyes. Since her childhood, she has been a “grown-up” kid. Usually, kids have their own needs. When they see various dolls and toys in fellow children’s hands, an urge to have the same bubbles in them. But, she was different. She knew what things I could afford and what I couldn’t. She never allowed herself to get fas
cinated by those luxuries I couldn’t afford, but as a father you must know what your child needs. During her ‘Athai Tap’, for the first time she asked for something – you! Now she thinks that she asked for too much and you are one of those luxuries which I cannot afford. But she is wrong. I can, and I will. And as I see you, I can say that I’m proud of my upbringing. She could not have asked for anything better than you. You are one good man Ansh and I promise I’ll fix this. All I’m asking for is some time. Can you two give that to me?” Ansh nodded, with tears in his eyes – just like Mr. Shah. Dhruv, who was listening to the conversation all ears, cleared his throat,

  “Of course, Mr. Shah! I know my friends Ansh and Angie and I know that breaking apart is the last thing they want from life. And we will not let them.” He said firmly, meaning it. Ansh knew he did not need to say anything; all he needed to do was trust his best friend and a great man sitting in front of him.

  After finishing his coffee, Mr. Shah asked for the cheque to which both Dhruv and Ansh refused as they were going to have their lunch there. Mr. Shah hugged both of them and left.

  “Accident!” The doorkeeper screamed and ran out. Ansh and Dhruv didn’t want to hear it, as they already had a thunderstorm to deal with.

  After five minutes, the manager ran inside and reached towards them.

  “Excuse me, sir! I think he’s the gentleman who was sitting with you earlier, who met with an accident.”

  “What???” Ansh squeaked and ran out. Dhruv followed him.

  They saw Mr. Shah on the ground, full of blood and wounded, his tibial bone was broken and displaced. He was partially conscious, which undoubtedly was a good sign. He was shaking his hands in pain.

  “Please call 108 Gajju!” Ansh cried out.

  Dhruv somehow was able to compose himself.

  “Calm down, Ansh. 108 will take minimum ten-fifteen minutes to come. Let me call Bhai. I think he is somewhere nearby.”

  He immediately took out his phone and called his brother.

  “Where are you Bhai?”

  “At my friend’s hospital, what happened?”