An Honorable Man

by Donna Fasano

  “He’s fine. I spoke with Billy’s mother when she picked him up from school just a bit ago. I explained everything.”

  He looked so miserable that his daughter might have hurt someone that Julie’s heart went out to him. She felt it would help him immensely if she let him in on a little secret. “Truly, Sheriff Makwa—”

  “Mat,” he reminded her.

  “Mat,” she repeated, “I have a sneaking suspicion that something good just might come out of all this.”

  Apparent bewilderment made him frown. She glanced toward the door to make sure no one could overhear what she was about to reveal.

  “You see, even after only a few days of school, Billy Whitefeather has shown a… well, a propensity toward intimidating the other children. By defending herself, Grace has shown the rest of the class that they don’t have to be fearful of him.”

  This information seemed to help smooth his brow a bit, and again, Julie was acutely aware of how handsome the man was.

  “But I did have to stress with Grace that this is the only chance she’ll get to learn from such behavior,” she went on. “I told her physical violence will not be tolerated in the future. With what’s happening all over this country… there’s so much violence in our schools these days… and kids aren’t feeling safe. And even though ninety-nine point nine percent of aggression won’t lead to anything more than name-calling and the bruising of egos, we still have to take action. Violent behavior, in any form, is wrong. Grace seems to understand that now.”

  “Of course,” he told her. “And I agree wholeheartedly. You can rest assured that I’ll reiterate that with her.”

  “And I want you to know,” Julie continued, “I had a long talk with Billy. I think he realizes that his actions and his words only aggravated the problem.”

  Instigated them, really, she wanted to say. But she didn’t. She had to represent all of her students in the fairest way possible.

  Mat’s expression turned sheepish. “Well, if I know Gracie, I’m sure she gave Billy a few choice words of her own.” His brows arched and he shook his head. “In the few weeks since this child entered my life, she’s proven that her tongue is as sharp as a hunting knife.”

  “She does speak her mind, doesn’t she?” Julie chuckled. “She asked me first thing this morning if I forgot to brush my hair.”

  His mouth dropped open. He blurted, “Y-your hair is beautiful.”

  Even though Julie knew he was only trying to make up for his daughter’s infraction, the compliment had her grinning. She leaned forward and touched his sleeve reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I wasn’t insulted. My students often comment about my unruly hair. I just explain that it’s hard to keep curls like mine under control.” Suddenly she felt the need to reverse gears a step or two.

  “If you don’t mind my asking—” absently she laced her fingers together and placed them in her lap “—what did you mean just now? When you said in the few weeks since Grace entered your life?”

  One of his shoulders lifted. “Exactly that. Two months ago, I wasn’t even aware of Gracie’s existence. You see, her mother and I dated for a while. A very short while. We broke up years ago and I never heard from Karen again. Until she had me contacted about six weeks ago.”

  “Had you contacted?” Julie couldn’t hide her confusion.

  “She couldn’t call herself. She was ill. Gravely ill.” His jaw tensed. “Karen was dying, actually. And she needed me to take Grace.”

  “Oh, my,” Julie breathed. “You must have been… shocked. Incredulous, I would guess. Saddened by the woman’s illness, of course.” It was an amazing story. She couldn’t imagine all that he must have experienced while learning what was sure to have been life-altering news.

  He heaved a sigh. “I felt all those things and more. I was forced to deal with some big changes in my life. Karen’s illness. Her funeral. And at the same time I was attempting to cultivate some kind of relationship with this little girl. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to explain to a child that her mother is going away? Forever? I’m still not sure Grace completely understands.”

  Her heart pinching with compassion, Julie couldn’t help but remember when her own mother died and she’d been the one who had had to explain things to her brother.

  “It must have been awful,” she murmured. “For both of you, I’m sure.”

  “I wanted to get Grace out of the city—”

  He blinked and his tongue smoothed across his dusky lips. A strange tingling sensation spread across Julie’s skin.

  “—so I brought her here to Misty Glen.”

  His dark gaze slid from hers.

  “I was quitting one job,” he said, “finding another. Packing up my apartment, cleaning out Karen’s. Searching for a place here on the rez for me and Grace to live. Dealing with problems at the new job, getting to know my officers. You’d be amazed how difficult it is for people to get used to a new boss.” He shook his head. “Poor Grace must feel as if she’s been tossed into a barrel with someone she barely knows and sent crashing down a rocky mountainside.”

  A strong urge to reach out to him welled in her, but she held herself in check.

  “I didn’t know that all this was going on in Grace’s life,” she said.

  “I apologize for not getting in here sooner to talk to you, but…”

  “It’s okay,” Julie assured him. “You’ve had a lot on your plate. I’m glad you told me, though. I’ll be extra patient with her. And I’ll look for any overt signs of stress in her behavior.”

  His chin snapped up. “You think that’s why she hit that kid today? Because she’s feeling stressed out by all the changes she’s facing?”

  Julie lifted her hands. “I can’t say no, for certain, of course. But after hearing both sides of the story from the children, I think she was simply reacting to some mean-spirited comments made by one of her classmates. If I thought there was more to it than that, I would say so. I believe Grace was just standing up for herself. And as I’ve already told you, I think she showed the class today that Billy’s bullying doesn’t have to be tolerated. The children have other outlets. They can come to me. And I’ve told them so.”

  After a moment he gave his head a slow, grim shake. “I guess you can tell I don’t have a clue about raising a daughter. I have no experience at this at all. I’m a single guy whose only responsibility up until a few weeks ago was showing up for work every day and paying my bills on time.”

  “Oh, now,” she crooned softly. His self-doubt stirred her empathy something fierce. “Give yourself more credit than that.”

  She felt such an overwhelming impulse to encourage this man. Julie tried to imagine what it would be like to wake up one morning and discover that not only do you have a daughter but that you’re now her sole guardian. The idea was mind-boggling. The poor guy must have reeled when he found out about Grace. Heck, from the sound it, he was still reeling.

  “All you need to do is love her,” Julie told him. “That’s the number-one key to raising a healthy child, I think. Unconditional love.” Then she smiled. “That and firm discipline.”

  He seemed surprised by this last suggestion.

  The silent questions in his dark gaze had her elaborating, “I’ve only been teaching for a few years, but the one thing I’ve learned is that kids love to shove at the boundaries that have been set for them.” Her eyes twinkled with the merriment she felt. “As adults, it’s our job to shove them right back. Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

  He laughed, and Julie was amazed by how much she liked the rich sound. She’d have loved to press her palm to his chest and feel the vibration of it. The idea made her eyes widen a fraction.

  “Love and discipline. I’ll try to remember that.”

  Without thought, she reached out and squeezed his forearm. “You’ll do just fine. You’ll see.”

  His gorgeous eyes clouded with skepticism, but he made no further comment. Finally he said, “Thank you for the advice
. And for being so reasonable about all this.”

  A soft chuckle escaped her throat. “When you choose to work with kids, your middle name had better be ‘reasonable’ or you won’t survive for very long.” All this talk of being levelheaded with children triggered the memory of what had happened last week with her brother.

  “I owe you a thank you, as well,” she said, her tone growing serious. “You, too, were very reasonable last week with my brother. I appreciate your taking the time to talk to him.”

  “Just doing my job. I’d much rather give a kid a good lecture meant to scare the pants off him than see him get himself into some real trouble later on down the road.”

  Julie hoped that Brian’s run-in with the law would have him walking the straight and narrow path, but for some reason, she feared that wouldn’t be the case. There was simply too much secrecy about where he went and whom he spent his time with these days. Some of that, she was certain, was just part of being a teenager. But Brian was harboring a great deal of anger and resentment, and Julie feared her brother had no intention of venting those negative feelings in positive ways.

  “How is he?” Mat asked. “Your brother… Brian’s his name, isn’t it?”

  “Brian, yes.” Inadvertently she sighed. “He’s okay.”

  Obviously sensing her hesitance, he coaxed, “Is everything really all right at home? Were your parents upset with Brian for what happened at the store?”

  “N-no. Well…,” she stammered, “you see, it’s just me and Brian.”

  Obviously, this revelation surprised him. He tried to temper his reaction, but clearly questions were forming in his head. However, before he could speak, movement at the classroom doorway drew their attention.

  Julie smiled, slid herself off the desk, and invited Grace into the room with a wave of her hand. The child looked so innocent with her mop of dark curls and her milky complexion. No one would have guessed that she had the spunk to knock a boy onto his behind with one good wallop.

  “Mrs. Hailey told me to come down here,” Grace said, “She had to leave to pick up her son at day care.”

  Glancing at the clock, Julie said to the sheriff, “I should let the two of you go. I’m sure you have a busy evening ahead of you. And I still have some things to do to get ready for class tomorrow, then I have to get home. I don’t like to leave Brian alone for too long.”

  “Of course,” Mat murmured as he stood.

  “Miss Dacey?”

  “Yes, Grace?” Julie directed her full attention to the child.

  “Am I allowed to come to school tomorrow? I promised Mrs. Hailey I wouldn’t hit Billy again.” Then the girl shook her head, her face taking on an unmistakable expression of long suffering. “No matter how much he might need it.”

  The opinion was delivered without a trace of guile; however, Mat went pale at his daughter’s unexpected aside. The best Julie could do was bite back the chuckle that nearly got the best of her.

  “Of course you can come back to school,” she said. She bent down so that she was face-to-face with Grace. “And if Billy does or says something to upset you, you come see me, okay? Just like we talked about today.”

  Grace nodded. “I will.”

  Julie straightened and, smiling, reached out her hand to Mat. She hoped she could silently convey to the man that his daughter’s comment wasn’t anything out of the norm. She heard frank opinions on a daily basis from her six-year-old students. However, now just wasn’t a good time to tell him, not with Grace within earshot.

  “It was good to meet you, Mat.”

  “Same here,” he said. “And thanks, Julie. For everything.”

  Her smile broadened. “You’re very welcome.”

  He and Grace turned to go, and the oddest sensation washed through Julie. As she watched father and daughter walk out of the classroom, she couldn’t get over the feeling that her life would never quite be the same.

  Chapter Two

  Her hand felt tiny and vulnerable in his as the two of them walked across the parking lot toward his car. Even after weeks of having this child in his life, he still felt overwhelmed at times by this circumstance he found himself in.

  This new stage in his life—being a parent—certainly was taking some getting used to. Every single aspect of it. He barely noted the beautiful blue sky above as memories bombarded him. Early on, he and Grace had a conversation regarding what she should call him, and the poignant moment would stick with Mat for as long as he lived.

  “So what do I call you?” she’d asked matter-of-factly less then twenty-four hours after their first meeting.

  Mat had been taken aback by the blunt question. “Well, what would you like to call me?”

  “I’ve had a Daddy-Chuck and a Daddy-Steve. I’ve had a Daddy-Toby and a Daddy-Tony.” Her face had scrunched up. “I used to get’em mixed up and Mommy would get mad at me. But it was hard to remember, ya know?”

  “I understand.” But he hadn’t really. What had Karen been thinking, bringing so many men into Grace’s life? But then, he hadn’t really been with the woman long enough to get to know who Karen was or what she wanted out of life. He had no idea what kind of childhood she’d had or what kind of baggage she’d carried from her past, so he really had no business judging her lifestyle.

  “I don’t wanna call you Daddy-anything.”

  “You don’t?” Mat’s throat had constricted at the sudden forlorn look that had clouded his daughter’s eyes.

  Finally, she’d whispered, “Daddies don’t stay.”

  “Oh, honey,” he’d crooned, soft and assuring, “I’m not going anywhere. I mean that. You’re going to be with me forever.”

  Her little head had tilted to one side and she’d nonchalantly replied, “We’ll see.”

  His eyes had burned with emotion. He’d been able to tell that she desperately wanted his promise to go unbroken, but her trust was obviously something she didn’t give away easily. Not after all she’d evidently been through in her young life. Only time would prove to her that Mat meant what he said.

  “You could call me just plain Mat,” he’d suggested.

  Her brow had puckered. “Just Plain Mat sounds kinda weird.”

  “No.” He’d chuckled. “I mean, Mat. You could call me Mat.”

  She’d made no comment at first, but he’d been able to tell her thoughts churned. Then her chin had thrust out boldly, her eyes avoiding his, as she blurted, “But every kid needs a dad, don’t cha think? I could call you Dad, couldn’t I?”

  His heart had swelled painfully. “Sure you could. That would be just fine.”

  Yes, that had been one exchange that had given him great insight. Grace, even at such a young age, was striving to achieve some sort of normalcy for herself amidst the chaos of the world around her.

  Now he helped her into the back seat, shut the door, and then slid behind the steering wheel. He listened a moment as she struggled to latch her seat belt, quelling the urge to offer her help. He’d discovered she was an independent little thing, and if he offered to come to her aid too quickly, she wouldn’t hesitate to express her exasperation with him.

  Casting a glance at her in the rearview mirror, he smiled. She was the image of her mother, with her head of tight, dark curls and her skin like porcelain. So small and innocent. However, today’s events had to be talked about, no matter how much he might like to bypass the moment.

  After he heard the latch click securely, he asked, “You want to tell me what happened today?”

  Her gaze met his in the mirror. “I know I’m in trouble for hitting Billy Whitefeather. But he told me Grace was a stupid name. He said I wasn’t Indian. And that I didn’t belong in this school.”

  Mat’s nod was nearly imperceptible.

  “So,” she continued in a rush, “I told him Whitefeather was the stupidest name in the whole, wide universe. And that my dad was sheriff. And that I could go to this school if I wanted to.”

  So he’d been correct when he’d to
ld Grace’s teacher that his daughter could give as good as she got. A smile threatened the firm line of his mouth, but he wrestled it into submission. Now was not the time to laugh at his daughter’s antics. He needed to nip this behavior in the bud.

  “He made a fist and I knew he was gonna hit me,” she explained. “I was scared, but I slugged him first. And ya know something?” Unadulterated wonder made her eyes go round. “He cried like a big, fat baby.”

  Mat knew it was wrong, but he’d be lying if he didn’t plainly identify the emotion flashing though him as nothing less than pride. Even though he was brand-new at this dad business, he guessed that no parent wanted their child to be a pushover. He was happy to discover that Gracie could stand up for herself. But it was certain they’d have to work on how she went about it.

  “It’s not nice to hit people,” he told her.

  “But Billy said—”

  “I heard you the first time. But you need to know, Grace, you can’t go around hitting everyone who says something you don’t like.”

  “But he—”

  “Honey—” his tone was firm “—there are no buts. Hitting is wrong.”

  The look on her face told him she was crushed. All Mat wanted to do was give her a big hug and assure her that everything was going to be okay. But he forced himself to remain silent. She needed to contemplate her behavior. To realize the magnitude of her actions.

  Our job is to shove them right back. Julie’s advice regarding setting firm boundaries floated through his mind.

  Mat’s fingers were trembling as he pressed the ignition button and fired up the engine. He sighed. Being the disciplinarian was a necessary part of parenting, Grace’s teacher had just informed him, but it wasn’t a part of his new job as dad that he was going to enjoy very much.

  ~oOo~

  The morning sun glowed through the window panes, rays of light glinting directly on the large jar of pennies that sat on the battered credenza. The jar was significant to Mat. While working with the NYPD, he’d placed a penny in the jar every single day that he’d finished a shift and returned to the station house alive.