Wasted Love

by Danielle Jamie

  Shit. Ridin’ a cowboy; not my cowboy.

  His lips brushing against mine quickly shuts up the voices in my head. Dixon starts kissing me softly, and I part my lips once more to give his tongue access to my mouth. As I whimper into his mouth, I feel my orgasm building. I begin grinding harder to stimulate my clit on his pubic bone and rubbing the head of his dick in my magic spot.

  I begin to feel my head grow fuzzy as Dixon intensifies our kiss. Our mouths are now pressing against each other harder, teeth clashing together and tongues twisting together. I fist his hair in my hand, gripping it as I begin to feel my body quake. I pull away from his kiss and tilt my head back as I scream out, “Oh. My. God…” I open my eyes, and once again it’s raining diamonds all around us. I bite back a smile as another moan flies from my mouth.

  “Brooklyn…God…Brooklyn…” Dixon moans against my neck as he sucks harder and clamps down on the area between my neck and collarbone. Without warning, another orgasm rips through me.

  Holy. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit! What the hell is happening to me?

  For a moment, I think I may just die from an orgasm.

  My heart feels as if it’s going to explode in my chest. I hold onto Dixon’s head, scared that if I let go, I’ll float away. I feel as if I'm out of my body. It’s so intense; I can’t wrap my head around what I’m feeling.

  It feels so good…too good.

  “Come home with me,” Dixon says into my ear as he works his mouth back to mine.

  What do I say? What do I do? This is dangerous. Dixon is pure. Fucking. Danger. But I already know what my answer is. Not bothering to think before I answer, I blurt out, “Okay.”

  “You better rest up during the ride back to Knox Hotel because, darlin’, it’s gonna be a long night.”

  Ohh hell. There goes my fucking heart again.

  Come on! Pull your shit together. Get your head back into the game. Dixon’s a pro–but so am I! I can’t give into his smooth talk. I need to fuck him. Fuck him so good that I’ll haunt him in his dreams. It’s all a game. That is it. Nothing more.

  Brooklyn Bennett doesn’t do more. I said goodbye to feelings and relationships in college. It’s nothing but a headache and a complete waste of time!

  At first guys are okay with casual sex, and you try to do the relationship thing, thinking it’ll just be fun. That you’ll hook up whenever you feel the urge and go out to parties or clubs together. Then, soon it turns into the guy getting clingy and jealous.

  I travel a lot. I said goodbye to relationships my sophomore year. I used to love the fun of dating and just letting the relationship run its course. I’d have fun, and when I got bored, I would move on to the next. As I got older, guys got clingier. They would get jealous if I had to kiss a guy either during an audition for a small role or for a commercial I landed.

  Then traveling…don’t even get me started. I would have to deal with my phone constantly blowing up. Then them bitching because I’d go out to party while on location. I have never had a ring on my finger. I’m not anyone’s wife. I’m free to do and see whoever I want, when I want. The last boyfriend I had, for two months during my sophomore year, told the entire frat house I was a whore and cheated on him with an actor while I was away on set in New York City. I decided then and there, casual hook-ups only. Life is way easier, and way more fun.

  I was nineteen then. Now at twenty-four, I’m happier than ever and finally feel like my big break is closer than ever. Nothing will jeopardize that, especially not a guy.

  I’m just having fun. Dixon is just another guy. Just another dick. Nothing more. I’ll have my fun tonight. Go back to Los Angeles tomorrow. When I get back to Houston after the holidays, Jax will be back. Jax is safe. I feel nothing but sexual attraction to him.

  Dixon is too dangerous. I need to stick to my word. I can never hook-up with Dixon after tonight. My idea of another bed buddy flew out the window after I had not one, but two life-altering orgasms…with a condom on his fucking dick nonetheless!

  I slip on my clothes and boots quietly, then get to work helping Dixon fold the blankets up and toss them into his back seat. Before I know it, we’re buckled up and heading back down the dirt road. I feel Dixon’s eyes on me, and my body–acting on its own will–turns to look at him. The instant our eyes meet, he flashes me his extraordinary heart-stopping-panty-melting grin, and my heart flip flops in my chest.

  Shit. Shit. Shit. I am so fucked.

  Chapter Twenty

  Dixon

  As I walk into my parents’ house, I’m immediately hit with a blast of Christmas music coming from the family room. My mother has a slight obsession with the holidays. My parents’ home looks like Santa Clause and his elves invaded it. There’s garland draped in every archway and along the large open staircase railing. I think there’s a Christmas tree in every damn room in the house.

  Ever since I can remember, my mom has always loved the holidays. She starts playing holiday music right after Thanksgiving, and by the time Christmas finally comes around, the sound of Bing Crosby singing makes my ears want to bleed. When I was little, we’d fly to Aspen every year to spend the holidays with a real white Christmas. I didn’t mind it because I’d spend the entire time snowboarding, hanging out with other kids my age in the main lodge, or chilling in the hot tub.

  This year with my sister pregnant, my mother said she wanted a simple Christmas at home. Of course, she went into full mom mode, claiming she didn’t want Lila risking her baby’s safety with her skiing or taking the chance of falling on ice. My sister threw a fit, telling her for century's women have skied while pregnant, and millions live in the cooler climates and have happy, healthy babies. Lila knew it was a losing battle and gave in to my mother to make her happy. My dad just goes along with whatever my mom wants. He always preaches Happy wife, happy life. They all agreed that we’ll continue the tradition next year once my niece or nephew is born.

  I have to stay at my parents’ house tonight. My mother insisted we all sleep here, along with my sister and her husband Mike, so we can wake up tomorrow morning and have our traditional Christmas breakfast, followed by gifts.

  As soon as I shut the front door and walk into the family room, my mother spots me. She squeals as she hurries towards me with her arms open wide. “Honey! So glad you’re finally here. We were just talking about you.”

  Great. Normally, her talking consists of her and my sister going on and on about when am I ever going settle down and start popping out grandchildren. Fuck that. I will love the shit out of my little niece or nephew, but I am not husband or father material. I need my freedom. I don’t want to be tied down to a wife and a houseful of kids. Maybe one day that will change, but right now I’m good with how my life is.

  “Hi, Mom,” I say, hugging her back. I look around the room and spot my father in his favorite leather recliner. He has his favorite drink of choice, scotch on the rocks. My sister and her husband are sitting on the large leather sectional, with her curled up against his side and covered in a blanket. They are all watching It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s my mother’s favorite movie, and my sister loves it, too. It’s been a tradition since as far back as I can remember to watch it every Christmas Eve.

  My parents know I couldn’t care less if I watch it, so it’s no surprise they started it without me.

  “Come, sit. Can I get you anything to drink, honey?” she asks, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the family room.

  “Yeah, a beer would be perfect. Thanks, Mom,” I tell her as I pull her in for one more hug and kiss her cheek.

  She is beautiful. Even at the age of fifty-five, she still looks like she isn’t a day over forty. She is always preaching at Lila to use moisturizer and a crapload of other facial skin crap. She says she’s been using hers since she was in college and can thank that for her flawless skin, rather than having had her face cut and stretched by a plastic surgeon.

  She and my aunt Lorelei look a lot alike, with the same red hair and slim, petite
build. My mother is three years older than Kayden’s mom, and they are polar opposites in personality. Kayden’s mother is a doctor, and ever since his sister passed away from leukemia, she’s been traveling for the last several years with Doctors Without Borders. My mother wouldn’t last five minutes in the jungle or a third world country without running water. I love my mother, but she is extremely high maintenance.

  People who don’t know us always assume my father and Lorelei are siblings since my mother’s last name is Beaumont and she works on the board for Beaumont Energy; in reality, my father took my mother’s last name when my parents got married. He knew what my granddad’s business meant to him and wanted to carry on the family name. Lorelei had married Kayden’s father, Victor, taking his last name, Knox. If my mother would’ve taken my father’s last name of Thompson, it would’ve stopped my granddad’s legacy. He and my memaw tried for years for a son, but after complications when my aunt was born, they were unable to have any more children.

  My dad’s friends busted his balls for a while when they found out he was changing his name to Craig Beaumont after he married my mother, but he didn’t care. He said to this day he doesn’t regret his decision. He has three brothers who can easily carry on the Thompson name, so he says he knows he made the right choice.

  Most people would hate working with their parents, but I love it. My dad and my mother both majored in business at the University of Texas, and I followed in their footsteps, doing the same. When my granddad passed away, he left me and Kayden the company. We were flabbergasted during the reading of the will; we assumed it would go to my parents and Kayden’s mother.

  My mother and father explained to us how they enjoyed the freedom they had with the positions they’d been working in all these years. My father is the President of Beaumont Energy, and my mother is the Head of the Board of Directors. My grandfather was the main shareholder for the company and divided those shares between me and Kayden when he passed.

  My parents love what they do and enjoy traveling the world for work-related trips and vacations without the worry of the company in their hands. They want to retire in another ten years, so they felt it was best for the future of the company to have me and Kayden as joint CEOs. When my grandfather passed, my father took the reins for a short time, just until we felt confident enough to take over full-time. We grew up in that building, so it didn’t take long for us to learn the ropes of it all. We were both excited to work side by side, together building an even bigger and more successful company.

  Thankfully, Knox doesn’t mind running the company most of the time. His night clubs run themselves with the management he has in place at each location. He works full-time at the Beaumont offices, leaving me free to continue to run my construction business. It gets stressful juggling both, but I’m young and driven, so for now I love doing both.

  My career is another reason relationships never work for me. Between my companies, I work five to six days out of the week. That leaves little time for a girlfriend. The only free time I have is on the weekend. I can’t deal with a clingy woman blowing up my phone all week while I'm working, always whining because she only sees me at night, when I’d pop in for a quick fuck before heading back to my penthouse or inviting her over for a quickie before crashing. I’m twenty-four. I have the world ahead of me. I ain’t slowing down for anyone. My idea of a good time isn’t wining and dining a chick. I like to enjoy my two days of freedom with my boys; hunting, fishing, four-wheeling or partying. Only one of those things involves time for a girl…well, except for Brooklyn.

  She’s the only girl I’ve been around who has voluntarily gone mudding with us. Most girls would rather hang out at the house, talking about the last pair of fucking shoes they bought and waited for us to get back.

  I admit; I got hard just thinking about stripping her muddy clothes off her drop dead gorgeous body and showering with her. She looked fuckin’ hot as shit, with mud smeared on her face and speckled through her long brown hair. It was pure fucking torture to pretend I couldn’t stand to be around her. Why the hell does this girl have to be best friends with Knox’s girl?

  It’s been three days since I’ve seen her. She stayed the night with me in my penthouse Thursday night. We spent the entire night fucking, and when we woke up in the morning, we did it all over again. Then I drug her into the shower and relished in the best blow job of my life. We then ordered breakfast and just hung out, eating and talking.

  It was the craziest thing. I have never done that with a girl, ever. Usually the next morning, I slip out before they wake up and pray they leave before I get back, or I make up an excuse to get them out the door. I shocked the hell out of myself when the words came out of my mouth. Brooklyn looked just as shocked when I asked her to stay, shower with me, and then have some breakfast before she had to leave for Knox’s suite, down the hall.

  I don’t know if it’s because I knew she was flying back to Los Angeles or what, but when I pinned her against the door and gave her a kiss goodbye, I felt a weird sensation in my chest. It hurt like hell and scared the shit out of me.

  Brooklyn’s usual bright and vibrant eyes looked distant, and her sassy mouth was missing. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was feeling the same thing I was. For the first time, I actually hated the fact that a girl was leaving. Not just my suite, but Texas. She was flying to Los Angeles in a few hours and wouldn’t be back until after New Year’s.

  I told myself, having a few thousand miles between us would be good. I need some distance away from her and that magic fuckin’ pussy of hers. If Kayden knew I was thinking this shit, he’d be busting my balls with a fuckin’ sledgehammer. I’ve spent the last few weeks busting his for being all lovestruck with Savannah every chance I get, then here I sit at my parents’ house, and the only thing I can think about is her best friend.

  I need to get laid. That always does the trick. If one chick doesn’t help rectify this fucked up situation, then I’ll get two. Two chicks are always a good distraction for me. I haven’t had sex since the morning Brooklyn left for L.A., and my balls are hurtin’.

  “Here ya go, honey,” my mom says as she hands me a beer. I lift my ball cap off my head to set it on the sidetable and grab my beer from my mother. “Thanks,” I say, giving her a small smile. I run my fingers through my hair and take a long pull from my beer. The second it hits my mouth, I wish I would’ve asked for something stronger.

  I plop down on the sofa beside Lila and give her a cheeky grin as I press my hand against her tiny bump. It isn’t much. To most people, they’d probably not even notice it. But my sister has always been thin. She’s tall at 5’10”, but has always had a tiny frame. So at four months pregnant, I easily notice a protruding baby bump sticking out of her fitted tee. She’s lounging in pajama pants and a T-shirt while snuggling with Mike and sipping on a cup of cocoa.

  “How’s my little niece or nephew?” I ask, rubbing her belly one more time before turning my attention back to my beer. I take another long pull from it to drain half the bottle.

  Whenever Lila talks about the baby or anyone asks her about it, her face lights up. She’s going to be the most amazing mother. Growing up, she was always behaving like my second mom. She would chase me and Kayden around to make sure we stayed out of trouble–which, even with her best efforts, we always found a way to get into trouble.

  Pressing her hand over her belly, she beams up at me. “Growing like a weed. We go in after New Year’s for the big ultrasound appointment to find out the sex. The doctor checked at my last OB visit because the baby was cooperating and said she’s ninety-nine percent sure it’s a girl. But she doesn’t want us to rush off and paint the nursery pink just yet, not until she’s able to confirm it officially at our next OB appointment.”

  I glance at my mom, who has tears glistening in her eyes. She is so damn emotional over her first grandchild. It’s not even here yet. I can’t wait until my sister gives birth. I think they’re going to need a new house to fit all
the shit my mother will run out and buy for the baby once he or she is born.

  “So, Mike, what do you think about possibly being a father to a little girl?” I ask, then instantly let out a loud chuckle at the look on his face.

  He is as white as a ghost and rests his hand over Lila’s hand, which is resting on her belly. “Terrified. I wouldn’t be scared shitless if it weren’t for you, Dixon. You have me absolutely terrified.”

  My jaw drops as I let out another chuckle and try to speak. “Me…what? What the hell did I do?”

  “What haven’t you done?!” he asks, with sarcasm and a hint of amusement in his tone. “All I can think about is my little girl will have guys like you chasing her around before I know it. You gotta admit, Dixon, you’ve racked up a pretty hefty list of women over the last few years.”

  I lean back against the arm of the couch and hold my hands up in defeat. “Believe me. I admit I don’t have the best track record. But I’ll gladly get every one of my shotguns out the second any boys come sniffin’ around my niece. I can spot a douchebag a mile away. No little fuckers will be messin’ with or breakin’ my little niece’s heart.”

  Lila’s face breaks out into a big grin. “Aww, Dixon, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” Her eyes are tearing up as she speaks. Dammit, her and those pregnancy hormones. “See, I knew there was a nice guy under that cocky façade you put on for the world. So, little brother, when are you finally going to settle down? You can’t be the Playboy of Houston forever. Even Kayden is finally settling down.”

  I can’t hold back a sigh of annoyance at her question. Every time she sees me, she gets on my case about using women for sex. She’s constantly telling me by the time I finally decide to settle down, there won’t be a girl left for me to marry because I will already have slept with every single woman in the state of Texas. She’s even gone as far as saying I’ll have to travel to remote parts of the world to find a wife because by the time I’m done with my man whoring ways, I’ll have banged every girl in North America and Europe.