The End of All Things

by Lissa Bryan

  Justin showed her how to purify water, using bleach or iodine, and then how to make various distilling devices, and how to capture water from the earth itself through evaporation if she couldn’t find a creek. He showed her how to make a snare to trap game, though Sam brought them a rabbit or squirrel almost every night. Sam appeared to be proud he was feeding his “pack.”

  Justin seemed to enjoy teaching her survival skills and Carly worked very hard to remember it all. She needed him to know she wasn’t dumb; she just had never learned these things. Once she learned them, she would be just as capable as he was.

  While they traveled along, they chatted companionably. They discovered they both had a taste for British comedy, and Justin declared she was the sole woman under forty he knew who liked Monty Python. That led to both singing the songs from the movies and television shows, and Carly discovered his singing voice really was as off-key as it had been when he sang Come Sail Away while he washed their clothes. He seemed to know every single love ballad from the 1980s, and to hear him belting out Total Eclipse of the Heart in his awful voice made Carly laugh until tears streamed from her eyes.

  Whenever they passed a house, Justin would go in to scavenge, replacing the supplies they’d used. His goal was to have enough for them to survive for at least six months if they were trapped somewhere, unable to move on or replace what they used. Carly knew he was thinking of winter. It was unlikely they’d make it to the South before the snows came.

  If the house was empty, they would sometimes stay the night, but Carly was always a little uncomfortable about it. She looked at family photos, clothes left behind in closets, toys scattered in small bedrooms, the artifacts of the prior owners’ lives, and felt like she was violating a shrine left to them. This would be their only mark left on earth. The sole memorial to their lives since no tombstone would ever be erected to mark the place where they lay.

  Justin didn’t seem to be troubled by the same thoughts, which became quite obvious when she found him tearing up a white silk wedding dress one evening.

  At her cry of horror, he stopped. “What?”

  “Why are you doing that?”

  “Making bandages.”

  “Out of silk?”

  “If the wound doesn’t need absorbent padding, silk bandages are gentler. They were working on modified spider silk bandages when I was in the service. It promotes healing, because of the proteins in the silk. I’ll boil them and then store them in an airtight container.”

  Carly was quiet for a moment. “You’re ripping up someone’s dreams.”

  Justin stopped. “Carly, they’re gone. They don’t care.”

  “It just doesn’t seem right. If I think of someone tearing up my mom’s wedding dress, I—” Carly stopped suddenly. Tears filled her eyes, not at the thought of the dress being destroyed, but at the realization she’d never be able to wear it when she got married as she’d always dreamed.

  “What would your mom think?” Justin asked. He laid aside the cloth and took Carly’s hand in his own. “If her dress could help someone survive, wouldn’t she want them to use it?”

  She knew she was being overly sentimental, and she tried hard to keep the emotion from her voice as she answered him. “Yes, she would want them to use it.” She gave his hand a squeeze.

  “Because it’s people who matter, Carly, not things.” Justin gestured with his other hand, indicating the items in the room. “All of this is nothing compared to life. When I die, I hope someone finds my things and is able to use them. Hell, they can hollow out my body and use it as a canoe for all I care.”

  Carly sat down beside him. She picked up one of the large sections of the dress, and began to help him rip it into strips.

  “Were you ever in love?” Carly asked that question one afternoon as they coasted down a slight incline. Justin was throwing a tennis ball for Sam, who galloped ahead to catch it and then trotted up beside Justin to drop it into his hand. She was amazed at how fast Sam was. He could sometimes catch it on the second bounce, leaping high into the air with a graceful twist.

  Justin cast a quick glance at her—one she couldn’t interpret—before he answered. “No, I never was. Thought I was once, but that was when I was very young, and very hormonal.”

  “So, it was just physical?”

  “Just a crush,” Justin said and didn’t add any more detail to it.

  “Did you—”

  “Oh, shit.” Justin coasted his bike to a stop.

  “What? What is it?”

  “Look,” Justin pointed ahead. Carly followed his gaze to the river ahead, though she still didn’t see the problem. She parked beside him and then was able to see from his angle.

  “Oh, shit,” Carly whispered, her voice faint. Up ahead, the bridge across the river was broken about half way down the span. The opposite bank was torn away, eroded back at least twenty feet by the river, which had decided to change course and eat away at the embankment until the end of the bridge fell away from lack of support.

  “Is there another crossing nearby?”

  Justin was already fishing around in his pack for the map. He unfolded it on top of the tarp over the canned goods and scanned it.

  “Fuck!” He traced the route they would have to take and then looked at the river and then at Carly speculatively. “How well can you swim?”

  “I can do laps in a pool, but I’ve never tried to swim across a river.”

  Justin rubbed his chin. She could almost see the gears turning in his mind.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Justin. We don’t know how strong the current is.”

  He nodded to acknowledge Carly’s words but continued his thinking, staring at the river as though he was trying to gauge their chances.

  “They always tell you not to drive your car through a flood, let alone try to swim it.”

  “It’s not flooding right now. See the marks on that bank over there? The river is at its normal stage.”

  How the hell he could tell by striations on a bank, she had no idea.

  “It’s either swim or backtrack over three hundred miles, Carly. We’re going about ten miles an hour now, so that’s thirty hours of riding. That’s at least four days at our current pace and another four to get us back to where we are now. Eight days of progress lost.”

  “How would we get the wagon over?”

  “The tarps are waterproof. We can run a tarp beneath and bind up the sides, and it just might have enough displacement to make it float. I’ll attach a rope, swim to the other side and then haul it across, and just hope like hell the bastard doesn’t sink. Even if it does, the meds and everything fragile are stored in those waterproof plastic tubs. I’ll tie everything down well, so even if it does get wet, it won’t float out and get lost.”

  “I still think this is a bad idea,” Carly said. “What about Shadowfax and Sam?”

  “Both of them can swim.”

  “I know, but what if they don’t want to cross the river?”

  Justin’s voice was soothing. “Honey, they’ll be fine. I’ll swim back across to get them if need be, okay?”

  Carly helped Justin prepare the wagon, passing one tarp beneath to tie up around the sides and then using the second to tie over the top to keep the things inside from floating away if the wagon did sink.

  Carly didn’t have a swimsuit, but she knew how heavy clothing could get when it was wet and didn’t want to be weighed down. Justin looked away as she stripped down to her sports bra and boy shorts underpants. Carly didn’t know why. She was more covered in that than when she wore the bikini she used to have.

  Justin stripped off his jeans and shirt before he put their clothes into one of the plastic tubs. Carly sneaked a peek. She had never realized how cut he was. Not vanity muscles built up in a gym but lean, wiry muscles from hard work. She reminded herself to ask him the meaning of the symbol tattooed on his chest over his heart, which looked like a series of letters, twined together. Three jagged lines of lightni
ng wound around his upper arm. It looked like the lightning bolt from his Unit tattoo, but she couldn’t be sure without staring.

  Justin paused at the bank. “Wait here for me. I’m going to swim to the other side and tie off a rope and then come back.”

  “Justin, this really scares me.” Carly couldn’t call for help if he was swept away or sucked under by the current.

  “I’ll be fine.” Justin came over to stand in front of her. “Trust me, Carly.”

  “I do . . . It’s just . . .”

  “I know, but I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think it was safe. If I thought there was any danger, we’d make that four-day trek to the other bridge.”

  Carly nodded, but her brow was crinkled with worry. Justin gazed down at her for a moment and then planted a swift kiss on her forehead. Carly felt her heart hammer in response, and she wondered how he would react if she hugged him, but she lost her courage. “I’ll be right back.”

  Justin waded out into the river until it was up to his chest and then began to swim. He went with the current, swimming at an angle toward the shore. She held her breath until he emerged on the other side. His boxers hung low on his hips and were glued to his flesh. Is it wrong to admire his ass right now? Right or wrong, she enjoyed a nice, long stare.

  Justin tied the rope to the tree with a complicated knot and then headed back into the water. He swam back quickly and surged up out of the water onto the bank. “See? Nothing to it.”

  “I see all right,” Carly said, her tone full of awe. She gaped at him.

  “What?”

  “Um . . .”

  “Jesus, Carly, what is it?” He spun around to make sure there wasn’t something behind him that would justify her reaction and the look of impressed astonishment on her face.

  “You . . . Maybe the current was a little faster than you thought.”

  He followed the direction of her gaze and discovered he had lost his boxers. He snickered. She giggled. They both burst into laughter, and Justin flushed a little. Still shaking his head at the absurdity, Justin untied a flap of the wagon and fished out another pair of shorts. This time it was in a boxer-briefs style, which would hopefully stay on.

  Carly was glad for the laughter. It made her a little more relaxed when she approached the water. Justin tied the rope around her waist.

  “That’s for the wagon,” she said. Though it would make her feel a little safer, she couldn’t help but be a bit embarrassed by the tether. She felt like a kindergartener’s mittens, attached to a string so they couldn’t get lost.

  Justin shook his head. “It’s more important you feel safe. You can’t get washed away or dragged under because I’ll pull you right out.”

  Carly nodded. The mud squished between her toes and made her grimace. She waded into the water up to her thighs, and Justin stayed right beside her. Sam gave a small whine and looked at Carly as if to say, “Are you serious?”

  “Come on, Sam,” Carly coaxed, and they all plunged into the water at the same time.

  The current was gentle, the water icy cold. They swam at an angle as Justin had before. They landed a bit downstream from where Justin had the first time he crossed, but Carly encountered no problems. She let out a sigh of relief when her feet felt the mud of the shoreline. She walked up to the grass and sat down. Her legs were wobbly.

  “I’m going back to get the wagon and Shadowfax.” Justin crouched down beside Carly. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, just cold,” she said, to explain her shivers. Stupid adrenaline. It always made her want to cry when the situation was over.

  She watched Justin as he took hold of Shadowfax’s halter and coaxed her toward the water. Carly wondered if Shadowfax had ever swum before. The mare hesitated just for a brief moment before plunging in. Her tail streamed behind her as she swiftly swam across the river and headed for Carly. She churned up out of the water and trotted across the bank to bump Carly with her nose. Carly stroked her jaw. “Good horse. I’m glad you weren’t scared.”

  Justin swam back to the other side and tied another of those elaborate knots to the axle of the wagon. He plunged back into the river as though it were the city pool and swam to the other side—the fifth time he had crossed. Once on shore, he began to haul at the rope, pulling hard and fast. The wagon plunged into the water, and Carly held her breath. The front surged back up, and Justin pulled even faster, essentially skimming the wagon across the river’s surface. They both sighed with relief when he pulled it up onto the shore.

  “Nothin’ to it,” Justin said cheerfully. “Here, let’s get you into a towel.” He untied the tarps and opened one of the plastic bins.

  She dried herself quickly and pulled on some dry clothes while Justin dressed on the other side of the wagon. They both laughed as Sam strolled between them and shook vigorously, announcing his displeasure at having to swim with an indignant huff.

  They mounted their bikes and set off down the road again. Shadowfax loped beside Carly, flicking her tail as though to help it dry quicker.

  “Do you think Shadowfax is getting fat?” Carly asked.

  Justin gave a small snort of laughter. “No. She looks the same to me. Why?”

  “I don’t know. She just looks bigger to me.”

  “I haven’t noticed any changes, but I’ll watch her more closely if you’re concerned.”

  Carly shook her head. “No, I’m probably just imagining things.”

  That night, Justin showed her their progress again. They were inching their way down Justin’s map. Every evening, he marked off their advancement with a highlighter. It was sort of humbling to see how little they moved each day, but Justin seemed pleased with their progress. He no longer spoke of reaching Florida before winter. He hoped to get into the Midwest somewhere. He mentioned a farm, someplace they could hole up for the winter.

  Carly still felt a little guilty about it. Without Carly and her menagerie, she had no doubt Justin would have traveled much faster. He might have used one of the vehicles they found along the road. Surely not all of the vehicles were dead, though many of them had open doors, which could indicate a drained battery. Justin never tried to start any of them, though a beautiful, shiny Rolls parked by the road once made him moan as he stroked the hood. That car had contained a bounty of supplies in the trunk, and Justin had been cheerful all day as a result.

  Justin was a pleasant companion, and her attraction to him seemed to increase every day. She caught herself staring a bit when he wasn’t paying attention. In their other lives, they probably never would have met. Carly would have been afraid of him, as she had been when he was Biker Guy, and he would have dismissed Carly as a silly little ditz. It went to show one could not judge a book by its cover.

  When Justin laughed or gave that wicked, teasing grin, the skin around his dark eyes crinkled. Carly’s mother had once said those lines appeared on people who laughed often and knew how to find joy in life. Carly wasn’t sure if Justin was a joyful person, but he had a good sense of humor. And good grief, a man who knew every single line in Airplane! and could sing all of the songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, albeit badly, was someone who was bound to be fun.

  That was not to say Justin didn’t have a brooding side. On occasion, Carly would find him staring into space, a dark and distant expression taking him into memories he wouldn’t discuss with her. There were moments when he was terse and cold, but she found she could often draw him out of those moods with humor and compassion. There was no doubt he’d gone through some very rough times, but he seemed determined not to let them hold him prisoner. It was yet another reason to admire him, as if she needed more.

  I might be in trouble, here.

  Chapter Five

  Justin was a light sleeper, so when Carly began to flail and moan in her sleep from her nightmare, he woke and rolled over to gently shake her. “Carly, honey . . . Carly . . .”

  Carly’s eyes flew open, and Justin hated the pain and fear he saw within them. He pulled her again
st his chest and stroked her soft hair. It had worked its way out of its braid after he stealthily slipped her hair tie off and shot it out of the tent into the woods. “Shh . . .”

  Carly looked up at him, and their eyes locked for a long, breathless moment. His eyes lowered, seemingly of their own accord, until he was staring at her slightly parted lips, and he found he’d never wanted anything more in his life. Later, he would blame it on being half asleep and curse himself for his weakness, but he was helpless to fight off the urge. Slowly, Justin bent his head and he brushed his lips against hers. He began to pull back, but Carly clenched her arms around the back of his neck and she refused to let go. She kissed him with sweet hunger. He felt her tongue brush the seam of his lips, and he was lost. He kissed her like he’d wanted to for weeks, and oh God, it was every bit as good as he thought it would be.

  Carly made a soft sound in the back of her throat, and they slowly fell back, her caramel hair spilling over the pillow beneath her. He thrust his hands into the hair that had so ensnared him, marveling at its softness. Oh, God, he wanted—

  Holy shit! What the hell am I doing? Justin released Carly and jumped back to his side of the tent. “Oh, fuck, Carly, I’m so sorry!”

  “What? Justin, why—?”

  Justin surged to his feet and dove through the opening of the tent, past the low-burning embers of their camp fire, and into the darkened woods. Justin leaned on a tree, pressing his forehead to the bark. He felt like bashing his head against it and howling. He was a rat bastard for taking advantage of her vulnerability at that moment. She’d awoken from a nightmare and sought comfort, and Justin had practically pounced on her.

  Carly was calling his name, and he called back, “Back in a moment.” He heard crunching leaves and looked down to see Sam staring up at him. He could swear he saw an almost accusatory look in those eerily sentient yellow eyes.