The End of All Things

by Lissa Bryan

  “Sanitation is going to be essential to preventing outbreaks.” Justin didn’t say it, but Carly knew it was one reason he was hesitant to live with other people.

  “Well, you could find out about Cederna if you wanted,” Stan said and forked in a huge bite of vegetables.

  “How?” Carly had to wait for him to finish chewing.

  “Their executive headquarters isn’t very far from here.”

  “Really? Oh, Justin, we’ve got to go there!”

  “Why, Carly? What are you hoping to find out?” Justin tossed his fork on his plate. Carly knew he didn’t feel the compulsion she did to find some answers for what had happened. He had a point; the knowledge wouldn’t improve their lives in any way, and he was probably a bit exasperated at her for wanting to go on what he saw as a wild goose chase.

  “I want to know what was so special about that shot and if they knew—”

  “You think Cederna planned the outbreak?”

  “No, not exactly.” Carly prodded at her food with her fork. “I don’t know anything for sure, but it seems like a good place to start looking for answers.”

  Justin reached across the table and took her hand in his. “Carly, ultimately, it doesn’t matter. What good would it do you to know? We can’t punish the culprits.”

  “People deserve to know what happened,” she said firmly. “I want to know why I lost my parents. I want to know if it was an accident somehow, or if it was intentional. And I want to know—” Her voice cracked and she faltered to a halt.

  “Maybe, if we knew, we could keep it from happening again someday,” Mindy said. “I think Carly is right. I think people deserve to know if there are answers to these questions.” She gave Carly a timid smile and Carly grinned back at her, delighted to have someone in her corner.

  Justin rubbed his forehead. “If it means that much to you, Carly, we’ll go.”

  “Thank you, Justin.”

  “Where is it, Stan?”

  Stan cleared his throat. “That’s something we need to discuss.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, I won’t show you unless you take us with you when you go.”

  “I’m not sure about this, Carly,” Justin said as they pulled down the blankets to climb into bed. It was very late, close to sunrise if Carly’s internal clock was correct, and they’d been discussing the possibility of Stan and Mindy traveling with them for hours.

  Carly thought Stan had a very good point; they would all be safer in a group than on their own. A lone person might be willing to take on a couple, but a group of four—and Mindy was a crack shot—would be something entirely different. They would also provide extra sets of eyes to spot danger. The more she thought about it, the more Carly liked the idea. She thought Stan and Mindy were the kind of people to whom Justin had been referring when he talked about building a community of their own. While she acknowledged she didn’t know them that well, she had an almost instinctive reaction which told her Stan and Mindy would be assets on their travels.

  “Sam likes them,” Carly said, as they curled up together. Stan and Mindy had insisted they keep the bedroom and had gone into the living room to sleep on the sofa bed. “He didn’t even growl at them when they came into the house.”

  That got his attention. “Really? That’s interesting. Maybe their scent told him they belonged in this house.”

  “Or maybe he knew they were good people.”

  “They may be good people, but that doesn’t mean they’ll make good traveling companions. I’m having trouble finding food for the three of us already, let alone feeding Stan and Mindy.”

  “He promised they’d get their own supplies.”

  “Sure, and I’m convinced he’s sincere, but when they can’t find anything, are we going to sit at the campfire and eat our dinner in front of them? Do you want to share some of our medications with them if one of them gets sick?”

  Carly knew that Justin was aware of the answer to that question; of course she would want to share. It would torment her to see their hunger. The eyes of that child near White Pass, who had peeked from behind the curtains while his father tried to barter worthless metal, still haunted her. While she knew Justin was right that they couldn’t feed everyone they encountered, it was still hard for her.

  But it wasn’t only Justin and herself that Carly needed to think of. Dagny depended on her, and if Carly went hungry, so would Dagny. Her baby had to be her first priority.

  But wouldn’t Stan and Mindy help to protect Dagny? Or help in getting her what she needed? Carly didn’t know Mindy well, but she seemed to see Dagny as something incredibly precious. Wouldn’t it be beneficial to have more people looking out for her?

  A thought occurred to her. “I could have used their help when you were injured,” Carly said. “If there had been someone to help me . . . Wouldn’t their help defending us be worth some supplies? If it helps to keep Dagny safe, wouldn’t it be worth it?”

  He gave her a rueful smile. “Somehow, I knew you were going to bring the baby into this.”

  “It’s something that deserves consideration. And if something happens to us, I’d like to know there are people who would take care of her.”

  “You trust them that much?”

  “No, but it’s not like we have a lot of options.” Carly had a nightmare vision of Dagny wailing alone in the wagon, beside a deserted highway, with no one to take care of her, or, worse, falling into the hands of people like Jeanie and Mikey.

  Justin rubbed his temples. “All right, honey. I’m all argued out. I suppose if it doesn’t work out later, we can always part company.”

  Carly kissed his cheek. “Have I told you today I love you?”

  “And I love you, too, Carly. I should have known once you started running out of animals to add to our menagerie, you’d graduate up to humans.”

  As it turned out, Stan did have something valuable to contribute. The storm cellar beneath the garage was filled with ammunition Stan had taken from the local gun store, so much of it, in fact, they couldn’t fit all of it into the wagon.

  Carly took on the task of repacking their possessions to try to save room. It was the first time she’d ever gone through the contents of Justin’s bag. At the bottom, she found something wrapped in a piece of cloth. She unwrapped it, and a small toy fell into her hand. An Incredible Hulk action figure. And then she heard his voice in her memory . . . A little boy abandoned in front of a fire station with an Incredible Hulk toy in his hands.

  Justin had kept it all these years. He had somehow managed not to lose it in all of those moves he’d been subjected to in the foster care system, moving around the world in the military, and wandering like a nomad afterward. The last thing his mother ever gave him. Tears pooled in Carly’s eyes, tears for the little boy who never had the love of a mother or a family.

  “Hey.” Justin stood in the doorway.

  “Hi. I, uh, I’m sorry. I found this while I was—”

  Justin nodded. “It’s not a secret, Carly. I wouldn’t have given you the bag to sort if I were worried about you finding it.”

  “You kept it. All these years, you kept it.” Carly didn’t have the words to express what she meant, the symbolism embodied in that little plastic green man.

  “I was going to give it to Dagny when she’s a little older,” Justin said, and a touch of wistfulness lingered in his eyes. “A baby who will never grow up without love.”

  She didn’t know what to say, and her throat was too tight for words anyway, so she simply hugged him like she’d never let go.

  They set out the following morning, heading west, much to Justin’s displeasure. The women rode in the wagon while the men walked alongside, each with a rifle slung over their back and a pistol on each hip. Carly thought it was rather sexist, but she didn’t argue about it. Pick and choose your battles, her father had always said.

  Carly was the one who held the reins, though Shadowfax didn’t need her guidance. She stopped whenever J
ustin stopped and followed him around turns without needing to be told.

  Mindy was a talker. Justin had teased Carly for being a chatterbox, but she had nothing on Mindy. At least she was an interesting conversationalist, so it never became irritating.

  Mindy had been a dental hygienist, something that interested Justin when he heard it. It was a valuable skill to have, which led to a long conversation about the feasibility of the barter system for services and how much one would “charge” for something like cleaning teeth.

  Stan ruefully admitted he had no useful skills whatsoever. He’d been a loan officer and had never so much as gone camping before the Crisis.

  “If I can learn this stuff, you can,” Carly said with an encouraging smile. “Justin is a good teacher.”

  They moved along at little more than a walking pace. Carly could tell Justin was irritated by the slow speed of their travel, and they were going in the opposite direction than he wanted to go. It took them three days to reach their destination—a drive that would have taken an hour and a half back in the old days.

  Carly eyed the glass-fronted building with some trepidation. Having arrived, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. Maybe Justin had been right. If she found out the Infection had been deliberate, she would have no outlet for the anger that would result.

  “Stay here and let us check it out first,” Justin said.

  By that time, Carly knew the futility of arguing. In their new world, the men were the explorers, the defenders, and the women waited for them. It was a situation which made Carly grit her teeth, but someone had to stay behind with the baby, and Justin had, very practically, pointed out he was the better shot and couldn’t feed Dagny if something happened to Carly. “Please be careful.”

  Justin kissed her. “I always am, honey. Sam, stay here.”

  Sam lay down with a huff, obviously of the opinion he should be one of the exploratory team. Carly sympathized.

  Justin and Stan walked around to the side of the building, and Carly heard the smash of glass as they broke open the door. After that, they just had to wait. Mindy was uncharacteristically quiet. She chewed on her nails while they waited.

  A shot rang out. Mindy reached behind the seat for one of the handguns, jumped out of the wagon, and ran for the building, with Sam charging ahead of her, already snarling. Carly was torn. She couldn’t leave Dagny there alone, but she couldn’t carry her baby into what could be a dangerous situation, no matter how terrible it was to have to sit and wait for answers. Dagny slept in her crib, unaware of her mother’s torment.

  Mindy came out with Stan, her arm around his waist. Only a moment later—though that moment seemed to last an eternity—Justin emerged. Carly ran over to him and threw her arms around him. “What happened?”

  “Goddam raccoon,” Stan muttered. “Must have had a nest nearby or something because the fucker charged at me. I fired a shot but stumbled backward and fell down the stairs.”

  “What happened to the raccoon?”

  “Yes, thank you, Carly, I’m fine after my terrifying and very painful fall down the stairs,” Stan said with exaggerated politeness.

  “Well, I can see you’re okay,” Carly said impatiently. “Did you shoot the raccoon?”

  “No, I missed. Blame your dog for what happened to the raccoon.”

  Carly gave Sam an accusing look. “You killed it?”

  Sam ducked his head.

  “Give him a break, Carly. He thought it was a threat.”

  Carly sighed. “Did you find the nest?”

  “Oh, Jesus, no . . .” Justin moaned.

  “I don’t know for sure there was a nest. Just my theory as to why the little bastard attacked me.”

  “We have to search for it,” Carly said. “If there are babies, they’ll starve without our help.”

  Justin pointed a finger at Stan. “If she comes out of that building with an armful of those damn things, you’re gonna wish the raccoon had gotten you.”

  But no nest was found. Justin even caved from Carly’s cajoling and climbed on top of desks to shine his flashlight in ducts. “The things I do for you, woman . . .”

  “I know,” Carly said. “That’s why I love you so much.”

  He smiled at her. “Because I climb on desks?”

  “Because you’ll do it if it makes me happy.”

  They reached the top floor and the executive offices. They were huge and plush. The President—as his doorplate referred to him—had half the floor to himself, with rich wood paneled walls, thick carpet, and leather furniture. Sam hopped up on one of the sofas and settled down for a nap.

  Behind the desk was a pile of papers someone had tried to burn. Paper isn’t as flammable as most people think, and only part of the top layer had burned. Carly sat down beside it. She took off her baby sling and laid Dagny down beside her. The baby grinned and stuck a foot in her mouth.

  “You all right here for a while?” Justin asked.

  “Yes, fine. What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to bring the horses and wagon inside. There’s a gymnasium on the ground floor.”

  “Won’t their hooves slip?”

  Justin shook his head. “It’s got one those rubber tile floors. I’ll put out a couple of buckets of water and a can of feed, and they’ll be perfectly happy.”

  “Hurry back,” she said, and he bent to press a kiss to her lips.

  “Always.”

  She began to sort through the pile of unburned papers. Most were financial records. Stan might be able to make sense of why someone had thought they needed to be burned during the apocalypse, but she could not.

  At the bottom of the pile, she found an internal memo marked “Confidential.” It stated a “mistake” was made when Cederna assured the military they would have enough flu vaccine to fulfill their contract. As a result, they planned to buy vaccine from Baker-Lewis Pharmaceuticals to make up for their shortage. Purchasing the Baker-Lewis vaccine was cheaper than manufacturing their own, so there was some discussion of curtailing production in the future and buying the vaccine to resell to their contracts.

  That explained why everyone in the military hadn’t been immune. But what was the difference between the vaccines themselves?

  Another memo. There had been some severe allergic reactions to the vaccine made by Cederna by people who were allergic to eggs. The Baker-Lewis vaccine had lower egg protein content, but both vaccines had shipped out under the Cederna label, so there was no way of differentiating the two at the point of delivery. The memo addressed the proposal that Cederna could announce the lower-egg-content vaccine as an alternative line, but the writer was concerned that calling attention to two different methods of manufacture might reveal the purchase from Baker-Lewis, and their contract could be terminated the following year.

  She handed the papers to Justin when he returned. He closed one eye, moved the paper closer, and then shook his head. “I can’t right now. The words are jumping all over the page.”

  Carly took it and read it to him. “Do you think the eggs could have had anything to do with it?”

  “Lower bioavailability in one or the other, perhaps. I can’t say.”

  “Bio what?”

  “Some drugs are easier for the body to absorb and process,” Justin said. “And some types of vaccines trigger a stronger immune system response. It could be the higher protein content vaccine was more effective. It could be the Infection resembled the viruses in the flu vaccine closely enough so the people who got that shot were able to fight it off.”

  “Maybe there’s a paper in here that says which version went to retail stores. You got yours from a doctor, though, right?”

  He nodded. “Yearly physical.”

  “Hmm. Maybe they shipped to doctors’ offices like retail outlets. Who knows?” Carly continued to sort through the papers while Justin picked up Dagny and engaged her in a rousing game of peek-a-boo. The baby squealed with laughter.

  There were more memos about shipm
ents and egg allergies and the legalities involved in sub-contracts but nothing about the Infection. Even for the short period after the Infection began to spread, there was no acknowledgement that Cederna’s shots were providing immunity. Carly sat back in disappointment, and Justin rubbed her back.

  “You okay?” Justin’s voice was soft with concern.

  “I just thought I’d find something, you know?”

  “You did find something. And I’ll help you look through the file cabinets.”

  Carly shook her head. “It’s no use. If there was anything important, it would have probably been piled here. Maybe those papers were the ones on top that burned.”

  “Perhaps.” From the slight hesitation before he spoke, Carly knew he still didn’t think she’d find a smoking gun or that it would matter, even if she did. But he was willing to help her because he could see it meant something to her. “Maybe it was just a coincidence, honey. Maybe the shots did provide immunity, but they never made the connection. Or maybe they did know but were still afraid to admit they hadn’t made part of the shots, all the way up to the very end.”

  “So, they let people die, knowing they had a shot that could keep people from getting Infected?” Were there really people who were that evil or that shortsighted? She guessed the pile of half-burned papers was the answer to that. Someone thought there was a secret that had to be preserved, even when it looked like humanity itself was at an end.

  It made her think about what her dad had said while they were watching the news. Was the president still alive? Was he still down there in that bunker, still the president, though there were no armies or cabinet members to carry out his orders? Which version of the shot had he been given?

  They stayed the night in the building, pitching their tents for privacy’s sake in the gymnasium with the horses. Carly thought it must have been a nice place to work. Besides the gym, there was an exercise room next door with a large array of elaborate workout machines, half of which Carly had never seen in her hometown gym and had no idea how to operate.