by Jenna Jacob
“Maybe next time you’ll actually let me play?” Devin grumbled.
“Sorry, man. It got away from me.”
“Seems like you’re trying to get away from a lot of things tonight. Want to talk about it?”
A lopsided grin tugged the corner of Sky’s mouth. Devin always had a knack for showing up when Sky needed a friend.
“It’s nothing much, just wrestling with the past.”
“Which past? Katie or Iraq?”
“Katie mostly, but it bleeds through, and shit with Badra starts to surface.”
“Which is the same shit you never want to talk about.”
“Never will,” Sky confirmed before taking a long pull on his beer.
“Then I guess that means we’ll talk about Katie. What brings her back to Connor?”
“Not my story to tell,” Sky eluded. “Let’s just say she’d dealing with a major douche and a big ol’ pile of shit.”
“Is that why I found you sitting at the bar with an empty shot glass? We both know you’re not a drinker. What’s going on inside your head?”
Sky turned toward Devin and scoffed. “You should be a shrink.”
“I know.” He grinned. “Stop trying to sidestep the issue. Talk to me, brother.”
“I don’t know. The memories of how we used to be are coming at me from all sides. A part of me wants to pick up where we left off, but…”
“But life changes people. You’re not the same guy you were, and I’m sure she’s not the same girl.”
Sky shook his head. “Everything’s changed, except how I feel about her, but that’s me still being a dipshit.”
“Dipshit or not, are you going to tell her how you feel?” Devin asked, arching his brows.
“Already did.” His reply hung in the air as a curious expression crawled over Devin’s face. “She’s not staying in Connor. No point in getting all wrapped up with her, because I sure as fuck don’t want to wake up some morning and find her gone again. I’m a sadist, remember, not a damn masochist.”
“You used to be a sadist,” Devin reminded. “So you’re still in love her, huh?”
“Never stopped. She’s been burned inside me forever, but that’s my own foolish mistake. If Katie loved me the way I do her, she never would have left in the first place.”
“You don’t know that for sure…unless you’ve asked her how she feels about you?”
Sky didn’t answer. “I wish I could just stay pissed at her. Ignore her and block her out of my mind until she packs up and leaves. Jesus, I sound like some pussy-whipped momma’s boy still suckling on a teat,” he spat in disgust.
Devin chuckled. “Like you said, she’s in too deep. It’s obvious you don’t trust her and you’re scared of—”
Sky jerked his head upright and pinned his friend with an angry glare. “I’m not scared. It’s called self-preservation. And it’s not a matter of trust, either…it’s just the cold hard facts. Didn’t you hear me? I said she’s not staying. Besides, you think I’ve got shit to deal with? Mine’s nothing compared to the steamer trunks of crap she’s brought back with her. Hell, if we started mingling excess baggage, you’d be able see that pile from the damn space station. Getting back with Katie isn’t an option. It’d be like the blind leading the fucking blind.”
Even though helping Katie sort through the pain and find her inner strength was off the table, it didn’t keep Sky from longing to do just that. Even if she’d let him—when pigs grew wings to fly—he’d have to tread lightly. The road leading back to humanity was scattered with IEDs, and Sky knew it…knew it first hand.
“Well, the fact that she told you why she’s back has to count for something. Katie obviously trusts y—”
“She didn’t tell me shit,” Sky interrupted. “I overheard her telling Gran earlier. Katie told her what happened. It’s brutal, Devin. I want to fix it for her so badly…but I can’t.” He ran a hand over his head. “I swear to god, I haven’t felt this fucking helpless in a long time.”
“I’m not going to ask how you overheard. I have a feeling there was some illegal stalking involved with that. I’ll tell you this…open up to her, man. Tell her about Badra and the shit that went down in Iraq. God knows you’re never going to tell me,” Devin taunted. “Maybe with the fact that you’ve both survived some hellacious shit, you’ll find out you two share more than a past in common.”
“Drop it.”
“No can do, brother,” Devin replied compassionately. “If you can’t find a way to be Katie’s lover again, then be her friend. Wrap your heart in Kevlar and give her a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. Oh, and you should probably buy a case of lotion. I have a feeling you’re going to be jacking off a lot.”
“Worry about your own dick, fucker,” Sky scoffed.
Devin gave Sky a friendly thump on the shoulder. “At least if you manage to get Katie in your bed again, you won’t have to worry about her getting all possessive and shit, like Misty.”
“Thanks for reminding me.” Sky shook his head in disgust. “Being around that woman is like wearing a straightjacket.”
“Don’t whine to me. I tried to tell you, rolling on a condom with that crazy bitch was like putting an engagement ring on her finger.”
“I thought you were kidding.”
Devin laughed and shook his head. “No, man. I was dead serious. But thanks for getting her off my back. We can only hope some poor bastard catches her eye soon, so you’ll be off the hook, as well.”
“As pissed as Misty is with me? I’m home free.”
“You hope. Speaking of home, come on. I’ll drive you.”
As they passed the bar, Misty flipped him off. Feeling no pain, Sky laughed and blew her a kiss. She responded with an angry screech that only made him laugh harder before Devin shoved him out the door.
“You attract women with attitude like a damn magnet.”
“What? I like the shallenge,” Sky slurred.
“You won’t when one of them decides to castrate you,” Devin warned as they climbed into his squad car.
“There’s only one woman I’d gladly give up my junk to, and that’s Katie.”
“I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think you already have.”
“Fuck you.”
~*~
For the second night in a row, Kaitlin sipped a glass of wine while she attempted to relax in the steaming-hot luxury of the big, claw-footed tub. Gran had soothed and emotionally propped Kaitlin up as best she could. After she’d vomited out her horrific story, a part of her had felt relieved. Gran promised they’d find her inner warrior, and Kaitlin felt more determined than ever to find the missing pieces once again. Of course, that would be a whole lot easier to do if she could keep her mind from veering off to Sky. Visions of that damned diamond ring in his palm, and knowing he’d been prepared to ask her to marry him so that she’d stay in Connor, filled her with remorse.
She couldn’t help but wonder what her life would be like if she’d never gone to Chicago. She and Sky would have stayed together, had a bunch of kids, and she would have eventually settled into the role of a farmer’s wife. But would she have resented him for giving up her dreams? If only she’d had a crystal ball when she was eighteen, she might have saved herself a load of heartache and pain…saved them both.
Her thoughts continued to circle without beginning or end. Inevitably they landed on the unnerving conversation with Demento-Doug. Refusing to ponder the pointless, Kaitlin drained the tub. After drying off, she pulled on her robe, tied the sash, and crept downstairs. When she entered the kitchen, the calming scent of cinnamon hung in the air. Gran sat at the table, worrying her thumb over the rim of her cup.
“What are you doing up so late?” Kaitlin asked as she kissed the woman’s soft cheek.
“I couldn’t sleep, sweetheart. Are you feeling better after your bath?”
Threading her fingers through Gran’s, Kaitlin sat down. “Yes. Much. Look, I’m sorry I unloaded all that o
n you. I know you’re sitting here worrying about me. But please don’t. I’ll be fine soon. I promise.”
“Don’t ever apologize for sharing your troubles with me, Katie. I’m glad you told me what that son of a bitch did to you. I’m just sorry for what he’s put you through.”
“Me, too,” she sighed. “I can’t believe he had the gall to call and demand I go back to him.”
“It just goes to show there’s absolutely no grain in that idiot’s silo.” Gran gave Kaitlin’s hand a squeeze as a moment of silence filled the room. “So, I suspect your feelings haven’t changed much, have they?”
“For who? Doug?”
“No, honey, for Sky. Doug’s phone call really shook him up.”
“I know, but the last thing I need is another man complicating my life.”
“Complicating it or not, you two still fill the room with sparks when you’re together…well, when you’re not fighting, that is.”
Kaitlin issued a skeptical grunt. “I thought I’d gotten over Sky years ago. I really did. But after seeing him again…” She paused and waved her hand in the air. “I need to stay far away from that man. It’s hard to do, though. He makes me feel alive again, but I’m so screwed up in the head, even him doing that pisses me off.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to feel like I need a man to make me happy. I have to find my own happiness again, all by myself.”
“Yes, you do. But sharing your heart with someone who brings out the best in you…well, that kind of connection is what keeps couples together for the long haul. You may have been apart for plenty of years, but that hasn’t lessened the electricity.”
Kaitlin frowned. “I don’t know if it’s electricity, Gran. More like reawakened hormones.”
Gran chuckled. “Well, there’s that, too. Hormones can certainly twist you up.”
“And you know this how?” Kaitlin teased.
“I may be old, but I’m not dead. Only problem I have is that no rooster in the coop is going to look twice at an old bird like me,” Gran stated with a grin.
“Joe Brock looks a whole lot more than twice at you. And the way he smiles when he sees you…I’d say that rooster would love to get all up in your feathers.”
A pink hue crept over Gran’s cheeks. Seemingly growing nervous, she licked her lips and shook her head. “On that note, it’s time for me to go to bed. Don’t stay up too late, Katie. You need to be kinder to yourself. Rest and relax and try to stop worrying. Life has a way of smoothing out the biggest mountains and making them molehills. It just takes a little time.”
Kaitlin couldn’t help but smirk at Gran’s attempt to weasel her way out of discussing Joe. She’d let the old woman off this time, but there was a story there. Kaitlin would find out the juicy details soon. “I’ll be up in a little bit. I’m going to pour myself another glass of wine and sit outside for a while.”
Gran frowned. “Alcohol isn’t the answer to any problem.”
“I know, but two glasses won’t make me an alcoholic or give me a hangover.”
“Just don’t make it a habit,” Gran warned.
Like your father did. Kaitlin heard her grandmother’s unspoken fear. “I won’t. I might not be strong, but I’m stronger than that.”
“All right. Sweet dreams, Katie-Beth.”
“You, too,” she said as she hugged Gran tightly.
From the kitchen, she watched her slowly climb the stairs. The old woman looked as if she were carrying the weight of the world on her frail shoulders. Kaitlin had put that there and she knew it. A thick, suffocating blanket of shame enveloped her. With a heavy heart, she filled her glass with wine and stepped outside.
She was about to sit down when she saw a police car come down the road and pull into Sky’s driveway. Suspicious and worried, she scanned the area around his house and fields but saw nothing that would warrant calling the police. Had something happened to him, or Brooke, or god forbid, Nina? A blast of fear rolled up her body. Frozen in place, she watched Sky step out of the vehicle. His deep, rich laughter lifted her worries. Weaving slightly, Sky made his way toward the house. He was drunk. She quirked a brow at her own wineglass and shook her head. “People in glass houses,” she murmured before taking a gulp.
After Sky went inside and the cop drove off, Kaitlin sat down on the step. Minutes later, Sky reemerged from his house with a bottle of beer and sat down on the wooden steps of his own porch. Moonlight spilled over his sculpted body. She issued a soft sigh of appreciation as she stared at his wide, angular shoulders and his long hair blowing in the night breeze. The image of him tossing Nina in the air filled her mind, and her body pulsed with a dull ache as she remembered how his beautiful muscles had flexed and rippled in the sunlight. The man was a work of art, and Kaitlin longed to feel his sculpted body pressed against hers again. Gran had been right. The chemistry between them hadn’t lessened one bit. If anything, it had grown stronger, making her want a taste of the passion fully grown.
Her traitorous body hadn’t forgotten the palpable energy seesawing through them as they thrust and sweat and chased the pinnacle of pleasure. The way he always tensed and bowed when he finally gave in and followed her over to paradise. Though it was years ago, she still felt as if it were yesterday.
She took another gulp of wine hoping it would extinguish some of the heat growing within, but it only served to intensify it. Kaitlin dropped her head and closed her eyes, savoring the torrid carnal sex they’d once shared.
“Why are you sitting out here?” Sky asked in a low, inveigling voice.
Her eyes flew open, and she jerked toward his voice, almost dropping her wineglass. As if her memories had conjured the man. Sky’s hungry gaze felt as if he were stripping her bare and ready to devour every inch of her skin.
Demand uncoiled inside her.
Boldly, Kaitlin stood and snaked a hand around his neck. Though she wasn’t drunk, she’d had enough wine to wash away her inhibitions. Her fingers tingled as she pulled Sky in close and pressed a sultry kiss to his lips. He tasted of beer, hope, and refuge… smelled like sunshine and earth…felt like strength and dominance, and she wanted to meld herself to it all.
Taken aback by her brave move, he tensed. She smiled against his mouth. Seeing him yesterday in the road had thrown her off-kilter, but Kaitlin felt empowered knowing she had the ability to tilt his world, as well.
Sky issued a low growl before wrapping her in his arms and pressing her against the heated slab of his chest. As he deepened the kiss, she remained brazen, giving back as good as he gave. His broad hands gripped her ass, meshing her pussy against his steely erection, sending sparks of demand pulsing through her system. She’d poked the sleeping lion, and he’d awakened with a lot more than a little roar.
Suddenly, Sky shoved back. Irritation lined his face. Kaitlin’s heart sank like the Titanic. The intimate spell was broken.
“You don’t think I’m going to let you off the hook that easily, do you?”
She dropped her gaze. Of course not. He probably wanted her to grovel. It wasn’t enough that she’d apologized for the past. She’d tried to show that she trusted him, but obviously Sky wanted more.
“How do I convince you that I’m truly sorry for hurting you and that I trust you?” Her voice sounded more seductive than she’d meant it to.
He stared at her with a heavy-lidded gaze and brushed his fingers through her hair. Tingles danced over her scalp and trickled down her spine. “If you keep talking to me in that sex-kitten voice, I’m not going to hear a damn word you say. My control is about to come off the chain, Katie.” Her nipples grew tight at the thought of him losing command of himself and ravaging her body. “How deeply do you trust me? Once I’m sure you’re with me…with me all the way, I’m going to claim you. Own you. Possess you. You’ll be mine, Katie…mine until hell freezes over. You got that?” His tone was feral and filled with conviction. Raw need streaked through her entire body. Her knees shook and her heart tripped in
her chest, and all she could focus on were his sinful bedroom stare and his wet, swollen lips.
“I trust you with my life, Sky…every breath and bone in my body.”
“That’s not enough. I want more…tell me, Katie,” he asked, his eyes growing more dark and demanding by the second.
She knew what he was asking for. He wanted her to drop her defenses and give back all the pieces of herself she’d stolen from him long ago.
Like the wings of a butterfly, Kaitlin’s breath fluttered over her lips. “I love you, Sky. I always have…I’ve never stopped loving you, either,” she confessed in a whisper.
His chest expanded as he inhaled a ragged breath. Heat, need, and hunger—like a million twinkling diamonds—flashed in his eyes. Without a word, he scooped her off the porch, clutched her in his powerful arms, and carried her to the gazebo beneath a huge weeping willow by the house. Their gazes locked, and carnal promise blazed low in her belly as her pulse beat in double time. When he lowered her to her feet, she held tight to his solid frame for fear her trembling legs would give out on her.
Still staring up at him, Kaitlin watched as he scanned the contours of her face and stroked a finger down the hollow of her cheek. Electricity hummed in the air. She knew what was about to happen, and it sent goose bumps peppering over her flesh. The corners of his lips twitched, a familiar habit from his youth that told her he was nervous. Good, she was, too.
“I need to tell you something. After I tucked Nina into bed, I came back over here. I wanted to talk to you. When I reached the porch, I heard you talking to Gran. I heard everything, Katie.”
On a burst of adrenaline, anger and fear swept through her. Embarrassment churned in a black cyclone, twisting all the desire inside her into an unholy rage that sucked the air from her lungs.
“If you’ll let me, I’d like to—”
Kaitlin raised her hand and slapped him across the face. “You son of a bitch,” she spat. “How dare you invade my priva—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Sky grabbed her face and kissed her. His silky lips did nothing to assuage her fury, only fueled the fire inside her even more. A muffled cry of indignation vibrated her lips as she struggled to break free of him. He cupped the back of her neck, forcing her to remain fixed to his mouth as angry bursts of air tore from her nostrils.
