by Jenna Jacob
She cupped his face once more. Her eyes pleaded…beseeched him. “Let it go, Sky. Guilt and anger will only keep you trapped in the past.”
Katie’s tender touch and passionate words spilled over him in a blanket of absolution. She was granting him the exoneration he’d desperately sought…offering him a lifeline to rejoin the living. As her plea sunk in, he felt the darkness within clearing…the weight lifted, and a single spark of acceptance flickered down deep.
Gratitude that she hadn’t rejected him, hadn’t turned away in shock and horror, overwhelmed. Shoving back from the table, Sky hoisted her into his lap and buried his face in the hollow of her neck and cried. Cried for the salvation Katie had granted him.
~*~
Kaitlin couldn’t help but cry as Sky purged his pain. It shredded her heart to think of all he’d lost in that brutal desert. She felt like a fraud. While she’d been living in the lap of luxury, Sky was dodging bullets and sacrificing his life in a hellacious game of truth and lies. He’d carried out unthinkable acts, but Kaitlin knew war was hell. But more so, she knew in her heart that Sky possessed a kind and gentle spirit despite all the things he’d been forced to do. One thing was crystal clear: they both needed to heal, but maybe if they helped each other, they could succeed and once again be whole.
“I’m sorry I’m not the man I was before, Katie. I’m so fucking sorry.” Sky lifted his head, palmed his tears, and struggled to regain his composure.
Katie shook her head and frowned as she stared into his red, watery eyes. “No. Apology not accepted. You are the same man inside your heart. Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t always give us what we want. The only choice we have is to make the best of what we’re given. You have to find a way to forgive yourself and move on.”
He arched a brow. “Have you? Have you found the way to forgive Doug and move on?”
The second Sky turned the focus of their conversation to Kaitlin, the warm compassion she extended turned to ice. “No. That’s why I’m here. I ran away…again just like my father…the coward. I’m disgusted with myself, but I’m trying to find a way to regroup…like you need to do, as well. Have I forgiven Doug? No way. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to. But I don’t care about that…I have to put all my energies into finding a way to forgive myself for letting that bastard hurt me and steal the woman that was once inside me.
“I don’t want to wallow in self-pity,” she continued. “All I can do is learn from my giant mistake and put the past behind me…forge a new life, because I’ll never go back to that insane and abusive prick. Never.”
He stared at the contours of her face. She wondered if he’d get over his guilt. If he didn’t, what would she do then? Those unanswered questions frightened her.
“I’m glad you’re not going back to him, but you are going back to Chicago, right?”
Their bodies tensed in tandem. Neither could ignore the elephant in the room any longer. Trying to keep her defenses down, the walls shot up around her uncontrollably. She could practically feel Sky’s defenses shifting into place as well. A flicker of regret skimmed over his eyes, and Kaitlin’s stomach pitched. He dropped his gaze, seemingly unwilling to hear her answer. And when he raised his head once more, she was met with a look of dull indifference.
Kaitlin felt the blood rush to her cheeks as an awkward silence prevailed. The openhearted acceptance and intimacy they’d shared moments ago seemed to have vanished. A prickly sensation skittered up her spine. She suddenly felt unwelcome and wholly uncomfortable sitting on Sky’s lap, but when she moved to stand, he shook his head and anchored his hands on her hips.
“Answer me, Katie,” he whispered in a lifeless tone. “I don’t want any more secrets between us. We have to get everything out in the open and see where we go from there.”
He was right—they didn’t need to hide any more secrets. But she didn’t know how to answer him…not when she had no clue what direction her life was even going.
Then just be honest. Tell him what’s in your heart.
“I—I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I have responsibilities that—”
“Can be handled by phone calls and lawyers,” he interrupted. “If you’re planning on staying in Chicago, then do me a favor. Tell me good-bye right now.”
Tension rolled off his frame…a mixture of fear, anger, and rejection filled his eyes. Kaitlin was at a loss as to how their poignant conversation had dissolved so rapidly, leaving her feeling defensive and angry.
Maybe Sky’s real demon was her. All the hell he’d endured was because she’d left. Not only had she royally fucked up her own life, she’d destroyed his as well. Kaitlin couldn’t have felt more worthless and undeserving of Sky’s friendship and affection if she’d tried. A new wave of guilt more potent than any she’d ever experienced slammed through her like a sledgehammer.
“You never would have joined the Marines if I hadn’t left Connor, would you?”
He unwillingly shook his head. “No. I’d planned to marry you, build a house on some land…raise kids and crops, and grow old with you.” He paused for several long seconds. “You never wanted any of that, did you?”
Kaitlin’s vision blurred. The only thing she’d ever been truly honest about with Sky was her love for him. But he knew the truth…knew she’d never wanted to be a farmer’s wife back then. It pierced her heart and gutted her to the core. Unable to find her voice, she shook her head.
“Why? Why didn’t you ever tell me that?” His words were soft, slathered in disbelief. But his next question was loud, teeming with accusation. “You didn’t even bother to ask me if I wanted to go with you. I thought you loved me. Or was it all just pretend to you?”
“I did love you, Sky. I still do,” Kaitlin refuted as a fat tear slid down her cheek. “I didn’t ask you to come to Chicago because I knew you’d never leave Connor.”
His brows slashed in confusion. Tilting his head, Sky delved deep into her eyes. “What the hell ever gave you that idea?”
“You told me you’d never let your mom try to run the farm by herself.”
More confusion lined his face. “When did I ever say that?”
“When we were in eighth grade.”
“Aw, Christ, Katie. I was a fucking kid who was tired of seeing my mom stressed out over a mountain of bills.”
“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” she countered defensively.
Studying her for a long time, Sky simply shook his head. “We fuck like we were made for each other, but we don’t communicate worth a shit. That’s what keeps us fighting all the damn time,” he spat angrily.
Kaitlin had grown up enough to understand that relationships had to be based on more than just great sex. A relationship lacking communication or honesty was destined to a slow and agonizing death. She didn’t want that. She wanted to pound off the dust from so many years spent apart and find some common ground. But could she even ask for such a thing with her life in total disarray?
“You still haven’t answered my question, Katie.”
There was something in his eyes—a flicker of hope, maybe? She stared at the rugged angles of his face: his high, defined cheekbones, full tawny lips, the tiny lines at the corners of his eyes…all the way down to the sharp slant of his jaw. She focused on the warmth of his palms resting on her hips and his strong fingers still gripping her flesh. Everything about him made her feel as if she were his once again. But she wasn’t.
Kaitlin remembered how she’d ached for Sky…alone in her dorm room all those years ago. The sway of that pain forced her to take a long, hard, and honest look at her situation and her feelings. She’d been lying to herself for so long she wasn’t sure how or where to start. When she’d first met Doug, she’d foolishly mistaken numbness for love. He’d simply erased the void…at least for a little while, until he filled her with something far worse.
As she floated a gaze over the kitchen, memories of laughter and love surrounded her. Everything she needed to find herself
lay within these walls. Subconsciously she knew that…it was why she’d chosen to come home when the bottom had dropped out from underneath her. The bounty of her dreams had been here all along. Everything that she’d achieved, the trophies, awards, and accolades, now held as much gratification as a Halloween jack-o’-lantern—hollow and empty.
Her guts churned. Gran’s time on this earth was ticking by much too quickly. Kaitlin refused to miss another precious second she could share with the woman. Somehow, she had to find a way to stay.
Sliding her attention back to Sky, a flutter of worry skittered through her. She’d trampled his heart so badly…destroyed his dreams. Could he truly give her a second chance? Or had she caused too much damage to ever be repaired? Her insecurities spiked. A part of her wanted to lock herself away in her room and hide, like she’d done in Chicago. But a bigger part of her wanted to peel away her timid shell and resurrect the strong, self-assured woman hidden within. To prove to Sky and herself she was indeed strong enough to forge ahead and not look back any longer.
She licked her lips and shook her head. “I don’t want to go back to Chicago. I want to stay in Connor…stay here, close to Gran.”
“And what about me, Katie? Do you want to stay for me?” Sky’s gaze held the same rush of uncertainty that coursed through her own veins.
Kaitlin could tell they were both jaded. Somehow she had to prove that she was worth him giving her a second chance. She wouldn’t squander his love by keeping secrets to try and spare him pain. That only caused him more. She had to communicate and be honest with Sky, and herself.
“Yes, I do,” she whispered. “You’ve owned my heart for as long as I’ve known you. I don’t want anyone else but you.”
“Then what the fuck are we fighting about?” he snarled. Pinching his hand around the back of her neck, his mouth descended over hers. He held her tight as if he feared she’d pull away. His kiss was forceful and relentless, and she drank in his powerful strength.
A tiny whimper leaked from her throat as her body tingled, all the way from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. But his second kiss was even more desperate than the first. Enveloped in the heat of his body, she tasted in him hope…promise…redemption. All the fears she’d held in a mighty fist seemed to slide from her grasp. Tears stung her eyes, and she returned his kiss with a vow of her own. She’d fight like hell to find herself again, but she’d also do any and everything to mend the broken and bruised man she loved—now and forever.
Sky slipped his hands beneath her dress. He raided her flesh with his calloused fingers and palms in a frantic and urgent way. Kaitlin wrapped her hands around his neck, anchoring herself as he brushed his thumbs across her pebbled nipples. She released a hungry whimper, and Sky greedily swallowed it down. Their tongues tangled and desire spiked; insistent groans and whimpers filled the room.
Unwillingly, Sky inched back from her lips, searching her eyes. What was he seeking? Permission? Yes…she knew he wanted a promise. Kaitlin had much to atone for, none of it good, but she would show him in every way she could how vital and irreplaceable he was in her life.
“Take me upstairs and make love to me…but before you do, I have something to say.” Kaitlin swallowed tightly. “You may think you’re a bad man…a monster, but you’re not. You’re brave and honorable. Please, find a way to forgive yourself, because I already have.”
A mixture of agony and lust wrinkled his face before his expression softened. “I’m working on it. But you need to know I forgave you years ago, Katie. Deep down I knew you craved more than I could give you. I’m sorry I’m not the man to fulfill all your dreams.”
“You are…you always were; I was just too foolish to realize that.” She swallowed tightly as her lips continued to tingle from his kiss. “I went off to chase fortune and fame and things I thought would make me happy. I was too stupid and blind to see that those things had always been here, all along.”
A slow smile curled his lips. “You’ve never been stupid, Katie. Stubborn? Yes. Stupid? No.”
She harrumphed and smirked. “Hopefully, I’ll unearth that stubborn streak again.”
“I’ll get a shovel and help you.” He grinned and a flicker of delight danced in his eyes.
“You do that, chief.” Kaitlin leaned in, her voice sultry and low. “I love you, Sky. Love you more than you’ll ever know. Now take me to bed.”
He smiled as she slanted her lips over his. Standing, he lifted her with him and walked up the stairs. She wrapped her legs around him as he carried her to her room and gently laid her in the center of her bed.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.
-Franklin P. Jones
Anticipation bubbled inside her like a quick-running stream. When he lifted from her mouth, a disgruntled whimper rolled off her tongue. One corner of Sky’s lips kicked up as his gaze locked on hers. His eyelids hung heavy in a sensual, pussy-clenching way. She felt as if he had already begun making love to her with just one look.
Her patience was at a premium, and Kaitlin tugged at her dress, dragging the hem up her thighs.
“Don’t,” he commanded. “I want to undress you.”
“Then get on with it,” she urged anxiously.
Sky gifted her with a smile so sexy the air stilled in her lungs. “Patience, beautiful. We’re not going to rush this. I want to take my time…so I can burn you deep inside me…burn myself so deep inside you that you’ll feel me in your blood…forever.”
She stilled as his words wrapped around her. Lost in his dark, decadent eyes, she watched him peel off his shirt and toss it to the floor. His dark complexion made him appear even more rugged and mysterious. He made it easy for her to forget the past, erase the uncertainty of her future, and focus solely on the spine-tingling pleasure she knew he was capable of giving.
His gaze, like a caress, trailed up her body before settling on her mouth. She licked her lips, drinking in every inch of his thick and sinewy muscles. Watched them flex and bunch as he slid off his jeans. When his thick, swollen cock sprang free, Kaitlin wanted to launch off the bed and sink to her knees. Her mouth watered, and her body ached to suck every hard, thick inch of him into her throat. Mesmerized by his cock, she snagged her bottom lip between her teeth while slick, warm liquid leaked from her ready folds. Her body blazed with such powerful need she feared she might spontaneously combust before he ever touched her.
“You’re killing me,” she grumbled with an impatient roll of her hips.
“What’s the matter? Am I making you suffer?” he tossed out with a wry smile.
“Yes, and you damn well know it, too,” she groused.
Tsking, he climbed onto the mattress, like a lion ready to pounce. Kneeling in close, he pinched the hem of her dress between his fingers and thumbs and began lifting the fabric. She raised her hips and wiggled, helping him divest her clothes. After tossing the garment to the floor, Sky slid a hand behind her back and unfastened her bra. She shivered as his masculine scent surrounded her. Kaitlin was beyond primed and ready, and by the look of his angry cock, he was more than eager as well.
“Sky,” she begged. “Don’t just stand there looking at me…make love to me.”
“Shhh.” He smirked. “You’re interrupting. I’m saving this…this vision of you.”
“Why? Updating your spank bank or something?” she asked with a sassy grin.
“Nope.” He shook his head. “My spanking days are over. The only thing I’m going to be spanking from now on is your soft, supple ass.”
Every time he hinted about that particular kinky bedroom play, it flipped some dark and depraved switch inside her.
“You have no idea how gorgeous you look right now.” His animalistic tone set her flesh on fire. “Your silky hair looks like the setting sun…spilling out over the sheets and against your ivory skin. And your eyes…they always turn a shade of evergreen when you’re aroused. They’re like that now, but even dar
ker than I’ve ever seen before. But I don’t need them telling me that you’re ready for me. I can smell your tart, sweet pussy. You’re dripping wet, Katie, and it’s making my mouth water and my cock want to drive straight inside you.”
She swallowed tightly. He’d never talked so dirty to her before. But she liked it. It seemed to amplify the need to answer his carnal call.
“Please,” she exhaled in a whimpered plea.
His cock twitched and a lurid smile played over his lips. “I like the sound of you begging.”
“I’ll beg all freaking night if it will make you touch me.”
“If I have my way, you won’t be able to beg, let alone talk when I’m through with you.”
All sinewy and graceful, Sky crawled closer. His body heat enveloped her in a promise of pleasure. She smelled a trace of his masculine musk and reached for his cock. Sky shook his head as he grazed the tips of his fingers up and down her splayed out thighs. Tremors rippled through her. She was restless and eager, and her impatience doubled. Ever so slowly, he brushed a feather-light caress over the lush hair between her legs. She blew out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and unconsciously rocked her hips toward his hand.
“So eager. I must not have satisfied you properly last night,” he taunted with a mischievous grin.
“No. You were more than accomplished last night, but we’ve got thirteen years to make up for.”
His eyes grew wide. “I sure hope you’re not expecting me to perform thirteen years’ worth all at once. I’m creeping up on middle age, you know.”
“Middle age, my ass.” Kaitlin chuckled. Sitting up, she dragged her fingers down his chest. “But I won’t complain if you want to give it your best shot. I’m sure you won’t disappoint…you never do.”
