Her Galahad

by Melissa James

  After Vincent read the papers, he turned, staring hard at Jirrah. "I thought you reminded me of someone at first … I got sidetracked by Esther's talk of your grandfather." His voice quivered. "Tani's the living image of you."

  Esther's eyes were full of fear. "If you try and take her away from us, we'll fight you."

  Tessa's worst nightmare was now hideous truth.

  Jirrah spoke quietly. "I think for Tani's sake we should try not to fight about this. After you hear our story, you'll see we'd have a strong case for regaining custody of Tani. But neither Tess nor I want it to come to that."

  Tessa's voice shook. "I wouldn't take her away from you. I wouldn't hurt you, or her, that way. You're the only family she knows. She loves you both too much to lose you."

  "She loves you, too." Esther's finger didn't drop. "You. You did this deliberately. You wanted us to take you into the family, to make us trust you—you made her love you before you told us!"

  "No!" she cried passionately. "I swear to you I didn't! I didn't even know Tani was alive until last Friday!"

  Jirrah leaned forward, handing them more papers. "Here's the affidavit of the attending midwife and doctor for Tani's birth." He added, as their eyes widened on reading it, "I know it's hard to believe, but all this can be verified with the City of Sydney Police. They've arrested Tessa's brother and there's an APB on Cameron Beller, the man she married after me." He told them as much of the story as they could absorb in one sitting.

  Within minutes, though still confused, they knew Tessa was innocent in Tani's adoption, and her motives in coming to Lynch Hill. "What do you want from us?" Vincent asked in quiet dread. "What do you want with Tani?"

  "We want to tell Tani who we are. We want her to know us. We want to be a part of her life."

  Before either of them could answer, a door slammed. "Gwampa, aren'tcha gonna come and…" came from the direction of the kitchen; then, a quick, joyful scream. "Miss Honey!" A flying blur launched into Tessa's lap. Little arms hugged her so tight she couldn't breathe; wet, sloppy kisses landed all over her face. "Miss Honey, oh, Miss Honey, I been waitin' and waitin' for you to come an' visit me!"

  Tessa laughed, ruffling Tani's mop of tangled dark curls with wrenching tenderness. No longer just her loving pupil, but her very own child. Her daughter… "I'm here now, Tani. Sorry I took so long. I had to go to Sydney for a few days." She inspected the vivid little face, and made a discovery. "You lost a tooth!"

  And I missed it. Like I missed her first smile, her first tooth, her first word, her first step…

  Tani nodded, full of self-importance. "Gwamma said I was gettin' big now." Then she tugged on Tessa's shirt, her pretty face lively with curiosity. "Who's that?"

  She was staring at Jirrah, who was watching her in turn.

  "That's a friend of mine. His name's Jirrah. Be nice to him, all right?"

  Tani tilted her head; after a short inspection, she apparently approved of him, for she grinned. "Hullo."

  Jirrah smiled back. "Hullo, Tani."

  "Are you Miss Honey's boyfriend?"

  Jirrah's smile faded a little at the eager question. "I used to be. Now we're just friends."

  Her lower lip pouted. "Oh, nuts," she sighed, her favorite expression of disappointment. "I could of telled everybody at school next week."

  Tessa, knowing the time had come, looked at Vincent and Esther. After a short hesitation, they nodded, both sets of eyes identical in their wariness and cool assessment. She turned to Tani. "I've got some news for you, Tani—but I don't know if you'll think it's cool news or nuts."

  Tani, in her usual pose for learning, tilted her little head and waited.

  Her stomach churning, Tessa said, "Do you remember telling me about the reason why you were special to your mummy and daddy?"

  Tani nodded, her big dark eyes serious. "'Cause I was 'dopted. They picked me special."

  "Do you know how they got to pick you, Tani? Why were you at that place, waiting to be adopted?"

  "Gwamma said it's 'cause my other mummy and daddy couldn't look after me, so they gived me to that mummy and daddy." Tani smiled. "Gwamma said they made my mummy and daddy very happy. I was a special present—better than Christmas!"

  "That's true, sweetie. I'm sure you did make them very happy." Her heart breaking, Tessa kept speaking in a tender tone. "But sometimes wrong things are done by people who think they're doing the right thing."

  Tani frowned. "Huh?"

  Tessa looked into her daughter's eyes. "Your other mummy and daddy wanted you, Tani, but some other people thought they couldn't look after you properly, so they gave you away." She drew a shuddering breath. "I'm your other mummy, Tani—and this man, Jirrah, is your other daddy."

  Tani blinked. "You're my mummy? The mummy who gived me away to my mummy and daddy that went away?"

  Her heart in her throat, she nodded. "Yes, Tani. I'm the mummy who carried you in my tummy."

  Tani frowned again and pointed at Jirrah, sitting tense and silent beside them. "And he's my other daddy."

  "Yes." A rasping whisper. Where was the squealing joy, the strangling hugs she'd secretly hoped for at the news? "He's your other daddy."

  Tani looked at Jirrah, obviously working something through. "Mummies and daddies are married," she announced. "Didn'tcha wanna marry Miss Honey?"

  Jirrah looked at Tessa, a challenge in his eyes.

  Oh, Tani, Tani my baby, you're making this so hard for me! Biting her lip she answered, soft and husky. "He did want to marry me, Tani—in fact, we did get married. But things changed, and now we're friends—"

  "No!"

  Tessa blinked, bewildered by the forceful interruption. "Huh?"

  "No." Tani's mouth drew in tight, her pretty face stubborn. "Mummies and daddies aren't friends! Mummies and daddies are married. They live in a house and have kids, wif their gwampas and gwammas next door, like Jarred's fambily."

  And the picket fence, too. Tani was the child of her heart, longing for the big, loving family she'd always wanted. "Tani, life doesn't always work out the way we want it to," she choked.

  Tani looked at Jirrah, her eyes challenging. Looking just as he had, moments before. "Don'tcha love Miss Honey?"

  Jirrah flicked a glance at Tessa, and she knew, in despair, that this whole situation was all about to unravel because, despite his promise to try, he could never lie to his daughter. "Yes, I do love her, Tani. I love her very much."

  "Don'tcha want to live with her in a house and have kids?"

  His gaze flicked to Tessa, dark with pain and grief. "Yes, Tani. I do."

  "And me, too?"

  Jirrah smiled at his daughter in heart-melting tenderness. "Yes. Definitely with you, if your grandma and grandpa and Miss Honey would all agree to that. We'd be like Jarred's family."

  "I could be a big sister," she cried eagerly.

  Jirrah grinned at her infectious enthusiasm. "I bet you'd be a great big sister."

  Tessa could only watch in never-ending agony. How could Jirrah talk like that, when he knew it would never happen?

  Tani turned her face to Tessa. "Don'tcha love my other daddy?" she demanded, apparently reasoning that her tactics would work with her as they had with Jirrah … and she'd have the family her little heart craved.

  Four pairs of eyes watched her, waiting for her answer. Her world was about to come crashing down like a house of cards, for, like Jirrah, she couldn't lie to her daughter. "Tani, it's—sometimes love just isn't enough," she replied sadly.

  Tani's eyes filled with tears. "You don't!" she cried. "You don't love my other daddy! I hate you!"

  She jumped off Tessa's lap, and bolted out the back door.

  Esther smiled, not nastily, but with a hint of satisfaction threading through the worry for her granddaughter's pain. "You didn't think it'd be that easy, did you? Did you think you'd just tell her and she'd want to come home with you? That we'd just gratefully hand her over to you and fade out of her life?"

  Tessa sighed
for the foolishness of her dream of having Tani with her—for the anguish she'd caused her only child. "I'll go talk to her." With a heavy heart, she followed in Tani's wake out the back door, down the verandah and across the scrubby paddock to the tree that was her favorite place to play—

  She found her daughter exactly where she'd expected to … but with a deadly visitor. "M-Miss Honey," she whimpered, quivering with fear. Standing in the unwanted protection of Cameron's arms.

  "I've got something in my pocket, Theresa. Something lethal, if you catch my drift," he smiled. "Would you like a practical demonstration on how it works?"

  Tessa froze. "What do you want?" she whispered.

  * * *

  Jirrah looked at the Joneses when they were alone. "You know, all she thought of when she found out was that Tani had been alone since her parents died, without brothers and sisters, and how hard it had been for you. She thought of how sick you two are. She hoped maybe you'd let us into her life, to help you as well as letting us love her. She's spent the past five years grieving, thinking Tani was dead. We were robbed of our daughter, while you got to love her, hold her, see Tani grow—yet Tessa doesn't resent you for that, and neither do I. How could we?"

  Esther bit her lip, looking slightly ashamed.

  "She didn't know Tani was our daughter when she moved here," he went on. "She started all the after-school activities because she wanted to help you, as well as Tani. She thought her child was dead. That's what her family told her. She thought I was dead, too." He gazed at them in turn until their eyes fell. "I know you're scared of losing Tani—but please, don't take it out on Tess. She's suffered enough."

  Vincent said softly, "You really love her, don't you, son?"

  He nodded, glad they knew the truth. "I'd better go see if they're all right."

  He walked out after Tess—and found the frozen tableau: Tess, ten feet from Tani, who stood stock-still in Beller's arms, looking confused, and more than a little frightened.

  And Beller himself, looking at him with the mocking grin of a man who knew he'd won.

  * * *

  Chapter 20

  « ^ »

  "Come on in, McLaren—the water's fine," Beller mocked. "I just told my wife that I have something very interesting in my pocket. Something that makes holes." He smiled at a whimpering Tani with vicious hate. "I call it my little problem solver."

  Tess sagged and whispered, "No … don't do it—please…"

  Beller's mouth curved into a nasty smile, creating something repellent within the handsome face. "Beg me, Theresa. Tell me you'll do anything…"

  Jirrah felt the presence of Tani's grandparents behind him, watching and listening in silent terror.

  Tess closed her eyes; they both knew what was coming, what Beller wanted. "I—I'll do anything … just don't hurt her."

  Beller's smile was slow, smug. "I love you, Theresa. You know I love you, don't you?" She nodded mutely. "Tell me, Theresa!"

  "I know you love me," she replied, her tone dull, lifeless.

  "And you're coming home with me, aren't you, Theresa? You belong to me. You're mine."

  Tess's gaze fixed on Tani in terrified love. "I'm coming back."

  Beller grinned at Jirrah. "See? Nice and easy to make an erring wife come to heel. My wants are simple." He ticked off on his fingers as he spoke. "Drop all charges against me, McLaren, give me every piece of evidence—and, of course, you know the rest." His hot eyes ran over Tessa. "Don't bother packing. I don't like you in contempo casual. Your real clothes are waiting at home—once you've lost those few extra pounds. I like your body when it's more slender. And we'll cut your hair. Layer it at the shoulders. This way makes you look like a squaw, like your mother. Not suitable at all for a politician-barrister's wife."

  Tessa's eyes glittered, flashing with hatred and revulsion; but before she could speak, Jirrah said quietly, "It's too late to drop the charges. There's a warrant out for your arrest—and Duncan Earldon turned State's Evidence."

  Beller licked his lips. "Then we'll skip the country until things settle down," he stated, ignoring Jirrah. "I have your passport ready. We'll fly out of Sydney tonight."

  "And Tani?" she croaked, although Jirrah was sure she already knew the answer.

  Beller shrugged. "She can stay out here in the backwoods. She was a stupid mistake in your life I meant to rectify, but if you come with me, I'll let the brat live."

  Jirrah, watching closely, knew Beller made a big mistake. Never knock a kid to their mother.

  Tess reared up, her eyes flashing; but her answer was restrained for Tani's sake. "I'm not meek, gullible Theresa now." She kept her eyes on his, filled with a defiance she dared not speak aloud with a gun trained on Tani. "I'm not the woman you want anymore. I know you lied about saving my family. I know what you've been up to in your political career."

  "Don't you understand? It was all for you!" Beller's face of tortured longing was worse than pitiful; it sickened Jirrah. "I knew you couldn't be happy outside your own world—and if it took a few lies to keep you safe, I did what I had to! Sooner or later you'd need me, need the life I could offer. That's why I had the parties and dinners. That's why I climbed to the top, why I bought you the house and car—why I'm in politics. It's all to make you happy! I'll get rid of him if he won't leave you alone. I loved you from first sight. Your father promised I could have you if I gave you what you deserved, and I did it! I did it all for you, to prove how much I love you!"

  Tess's eyes slowly lifted from her shaking child. She didn't speak. With all her rare gift of seeing through a man, she saw what Jirrah saw clearly for the first time: beneath the handsome face and aura of wealth lay a twisted, diseased soul, a sickness beyond healing.

  Finally she spoke. "I'll come—but I won't lie. I'm only coming for Tani's sake. I'll never love you."

  Beller's face twisted. "It's him, isn't it?" He pointed with a stabbing finger at Jirrah. "It's always him with you. Nothing ever changes!"

  She shrugged. "You don't get it, Cameron. It's nobody else. It's me. I don't want you."

  She'd finally said it. Her fear was gone, the last hold Beller had had over her was gone, and Beller knew it, too. It was all over. Tess wouldn't be flying anywhere tonight. But a cornered snake was the most likely to strike. Jirrah tensed, ready to protect Tess and Tani if need be.

  Beller looked at him, as if puzzled. "Why didn't you die in prison? I paid those thugs more than enough. You even escaped the car bomb. But did you take the warning and stay away from her? No." He shook his head, his face pained. "Did you call her from prison? Is that it? Is that why she was always so cold to me?"

  "No." Jirrah felt a jolt of unwanted pity, even empathy with this strange, demented creature, still hoping for love he could never have. "Tess thought I was dead until last week, and she still didn't want you." He looked Beller in the eye. "Why waste your life chasing a woman who never loved you, and never will?"

  "You could never understand." Beller's hot, eager eyes moved back to Tess, who shuddered in open revulsion.

  "No, I don't understand. No man who loves a woman beats her, or scares and intimidates her by stalking her."

  "I don't beat her. I don't stalk her." Beller screamed, losing control. "You don't understand. I have to follow her. I have to have her with me. I can't breathe without her!"

  Jirrah almost pitied him then—almost, for he understood exactly how Beller felt. "But you can't make Tessa love you with blackmail, with houses or cars or presents. What she wants, what she always wanted was respect—and the freedom to choose her life. She doesn't like being called Theresa, either, by the way."

  Beller stared at him, his face blank.

  Jirrah's voice was clear and cold now, all pity vanished. "You don't get it, do you? Real love doesn't force a woman to stay where she's unhappy. Love doesn't separate a mother and child." He looked at Tess as he went on. "You even let them go, if that's what they need. If they need to fly away, you give them your blessing, and live i
n the hope they'll come back one day."

  He watched Tess bite her lip, her gaze glued to him … and he saw—he was almost sure he saw that complete and total love in her eyes, for a fleeting moment in time. The love he'd give his soul to know once more. The love he'd die for.

  The love he'd give up his hope of children to have.

  "You should have died!" Beller screamed, startling them both. "She must have known you were alive the whole time. She left me when you came up for parole! I'll make sure she knows you're dead this time, you and the kid both!"

  In a flash his gun turned on Jirrah; but Jirrah flew at Beller in a diving tackle, yelling, "Grab Tani and run!"

  Tess pulled Tani from Beller's slack arm and dived with her behind the tree. Jerking sideways from Tess's pull, Beller took a startled second to react—and Jirrah was on him, using his legs to trip him back, his arms to pin him down, one with a viselike grip on the arm holding the gun.

  Beller fell back, screaming in fury—and he fought back with the savagery of obsession, trying to lift the gun hand. Jirrah held it down with grim desperation, bashing it over and over on the hard ground. Let go, Beller, you crazy jerk—let go!

  But Beller struggled madly against him, trying to roll around to get on top, while Jirrah held him down. Beller's free hand socked him in his ribs, still tender from the car bomb, taking his breath with the pain.

  Beller would be on top of him in a second. "Someone call the cops!" He dropped on top of Beller in a wrestling motion, feeling his enemy grunt with a sudden loss of breath. And again and again, Jirrah hit that gun hand on the rocky ground, willing the gun to fall. Again and again the free fist flailed. Jirrah dropped on him hard, hearing the oof of pain as he landed on unprotected ribs. Damn it, you stupid jerk, give up!

  The wail of a police siren came closer. Only a minute more—

  Beller jerked his arm up. There was a strange pinging noise; burning pain seared the arm holding the gun. "Ssssssss … aaargh," he grunted, fighting with all his strength to keep holding on. "Tess, run to the cops!" He couldn't last much longer—and he saw the lust to kill in Beller's eyes. If he let go, Beller would take him down before the cops got here; but at least Tess and Tani would be safe.