Evermore

by Brenda Pandos

“Listen to me, Ash,” I said firmly. “I think you just had a bad dream.”

  Her eyes grew wide. “What?”

  “I didn’t tell you, but I ran into him yesterday, and wiped his memories. He couldn’t have possibly been here yesterday,” or so help him.

  She shivered none the less. “You did?”

  “Yeah.”

  She blinked at me, tears streaming down her face. “I imagined it?”

  “I think so. Probably all the stress.” I ran my hands down her arms, heating her skin with mine. Why didn’t she stay in Natatoria like planned? The girls had some explaining to do. “But I’ll double check the house if that’ll make you feel better.”

  She grabbed onto my wrists. “No. Don’t leave me.”

  “Okay.” I pulled her into my arms and rocked her until she stopped shaking. “I promise you. I’m not going to leave you, Ash. Never again.”

  “Okay,” she said, whimpering.

  “No one is going to hurt you.”

  She snuggled her head into my neck, and within moments she was asleep. I pulled her underwater with me and sunk to the bottom, prepared to push everything off our to-do lists and just rest.

  THIRTY-FIVE – ASH – June 10 – 1:02 p.m.

  The next few days flew by, and before I knew it, Friday had arrived. Tatiana and the girls had outdone themselves. The entire area for the wedding and reception had been encircled with a rod iron fence, decorated with green ribbons, white flowers strewn on wire, and tulle. At the junctions were tall stanchions with hooks on the top for the lanterns.

  White chairs lined the beach, facing an arch covered in white and pink flowers and garlands mixed with deep green ferns. Strands of beads, decorated with shells and starfish lined the chairs next to the aisle. The tables for the reception held large glass vases filled with flowers, ferns and willowy branches that dangled starfish ornaments. Even the walkway leading from my parents’ house to the back of the aisle had arches covered in flowers and tulle.

  My heart pounded in anticipation of tomorrow, of everyone sitting in those seats watching us commit our lives to one another. In twenty-four hours, I’d be Mrs. Finley Helton.

  “What do you think?” Dad asked, eyes shining.

  “It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed it would be.”

  He squeezed my arm tight. “Good, pumpkin.”

  “Cue the music!” Tatiana commanded while clapping. “Let’s get this thing started!”

  Nicole toddled around her feet, wearing a deep green tulle skirt. She’d already dumped over her basket of flower petals twice before even having a chance to walk the aisle.

  “Cannon in D” by Pachelbel started, but through the wall of flowers, I could barely see anything. Fin was supposed to be seating his mother while Jax seated mine. Tatiana paced behind the wall that blocked my view of the audience, then turned and motioned to us. “Now you come!”

  Dad looked at me. “You ready for this?”

  I could barely contain the butterflies in my stomach from flying free. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  He batted a tear off his cheek, then squeezed my arm tight with his. “Let’s go, pumpkin.”

  We walked together down the tiny walkway, hidden behind a wall of flowers and fabric, spanning between my parents’ porch to the back of the aisle. If the little cobblestones under my feet could talk, they’d tell a story of my life. Of memories of me learning to walk, of learning to run, of bare feet and booted feet. Of snow and rain, of lost and found treasures. Of being a vast world for my dolls to live. Of holding secret hidden spots for hide and seek. Of providing a path to a beach where I got lost in another world with my book in hand. Of fast friendships and secret crushes. Of a place where I discovered the mer for the first time. And when I thought those days were over, today symbolized dreams had become anew, that this would be where our child would play, too.

  “Once the ceremony is over, we’ll take that down.” Tatiana pointed to the fabric billowing in the wind, snapping me from my thoughts.

  “Girra. Go.”

  One by one, the bridesmaids followed behind Girra. Lucy looked back at me, her eyes twinkling. I couldn’t believe after everything, we were getting along. Tatiana walked down with Nicole, and I peeked around the corner to see. Nicole reached for a hanging starfish on the garland.

  “Come on, baby,” Tatiana prodded, pulling her from her treasure.

  Nicole let out a wail, threw down her basket, and plopped on her butt in the middle of the aisle, kicking and screaming. Then she shifted into a mermaid. Jacob dashed over, scooped up the merling, and darted toward the houseboat.

  I bit my lip, hoping Tatiana would just concede and let Pearl keep her during the ceremony instead of forcing a child too young to participate. Lucy reached out and squeezed my hand. “It’ll be okay tomorrow. Just you wait.”

  Then she let go and walked down the aisle, a little quicker than she should, but happy nonetheless. She stood next to Oberon and smiled. I couldn’t help the tears from falling. Everything had come into place.

  Then a piano rendition of the “Bridal March” began. My heart leaped into my throat just as Dad took charge and started ahead. We cleared the wall and the few sitting in the audience stood.

  Fin’s eyes met mine, an azure blue glistening in the sun, and then he smiled, that smile I adored when he drove his Jeep over the ridge. My dreams had come true. And we’d done it. We were finally getting married on land under the evergreens.

  Dad continued to walk me down the aisle, and I couldn’t stop my happiness from flowing down my cheeks. Once we arrived at the front, Dad stopped and Mom took up my other side.

  “Who gives this woman to this man?” Oberon asked.

  “Her mother and I.”

  Mom sniffled and squeezed my hand before she took her seat next to my father. I glanced back and spotted Desirée sitting on the groom’s side, close to the wall of white fabric. A pang of regret stabbed my stomach as she smiled at me. I hadn’t expected her to be here, but then again, she was family and her daughters, my sisters, were in the wedding, why wouldn’t she?

  Then I thought of the veil I’d wear tomorrow. I needed to mojo mom and Lucy so I could wear Desirée’s crown instead. Maybe that would be enough.

  Oberon placed my hand in Fin’s. “This is the part where I greet the audience,” he said with a kind smile. “And then we’ll have a song by the boys’ choir.”

  Ten boys filed in, all dressed in kilts. We turned and listened to them sing the Natatorian anthem. At the end, Badger belted the song along with them, until Sandy, his wife, gave him a glare from the audience. He cleared his throat. “My apologies.”

  Oberon explained what he’d say, and then he gestured to Fin. “And this is the part where I tell you to kiss your maid… er, I mean, wife.”

  Fin gave me a wicked look, then dipped me backward before he kissed me. My cheeks burned red hot, but I accepted the sweetness of his lips anyway.

  The “Hallelujah Chorus” started to play, and I gave Tatiana a fiendish look. This wasn’t the song we’d chosen. She shrugged with a coy smile. After everything, though, it seemed apropos.

  “By the power bestowed upon me by Chancellor Merric—”

  “He’s dead!” someone yelled from the water.

  The music stopped abruptly.

  “What son?” Oberon asked.

  “The Chancellor is dead! Regent, come quickly!”

  Desirée stood, marched down the aisle, and waded into the water.

  “Dead?” I gripped tightly onto Fin. “How?”

  My Dad’s face paled. “Why was that boy swimming? And where did Desirée go? It’s freezing in the lake.”

  “You didn’t see that,” Fin sang to Lucy, Georgia and my parents. My dad sat down and joined my bewildered Mom.

  Jack crossed over to us. “I’ll see what’s going on. Badger, take care of things here.”

  “Aye, Captain,” Badger said. “Let’s be finishing this up. Oberon?” He gestured to the offici
ant.

  “Yes.” Oberon cleared his throat. “By the power bestowed upon me by Chancellor Merr—uh, Regent Desirée, I now pronounce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Finley Samuel Helton.”

  My parents stood and clapped exuberantly while the rest of the audience sat somewhat still. Fin and I strolled down the aisle, but I no longer felt like celebrating. Would the mers even come tomorrow? Merric, though technically not the king any longer because of the new laws, was just as loved and adored.

  “Who’s Merric?” Lucy asked.

  “He’s a friend of the family,” Girra said behind me.

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry,” Lucy said.

  I eyed her suspiciously. This was not the Lucy that I knew at all. Then it clicked what had changed. My glare landed on Fin. He’d done what I asked him not to do, and he was going to get it.

  THIRTY-SIX – FIN – June 10 – 1:42 p.m.

  Ash grabbed me by the arm and pulled me off to the side.

  Her nostrils flared. “Did you sing to her?”

  My heart galloped. “What?”

  “Lucy. She’s been nice, ever since… graduation.” She leaned in, her fists balled at her sides. “Did you sing to her or not? Answer me.”

  I ran my hand through my hair, caught. “I just told her to knock off the attitude, either that or…” I was going to slap her across the face. “I mean… she’s your sister, and this is a special day for you.”

  “Not by blood, she’s not.” Ash hardened her jaw. Then her eyes flashed with horror. She stepped back, almost knocking over the fabric wall. “You sang to my mother, didn’t you?” Her voice raised an octave. “Didn’t you?”

  “Ash.” I took her arm gently, but she yanked it away.

  “Answer me!”

  “I might have…” I grunted, fumbling for what to say. This was horrible and she was going to hate me. “Let’s go talk somewhere private.”

  Her body shook with anger. “No. You will tell me now!”

  “I asked her to be… cordial.”

  “Cordial?” Her eyes widened, filling with tears. “You mean this whole time, she’s been persuaded?”

  I opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

  “I’m marrying a liar!” she yelled.

  “Ash. Come on.” I moved forward to touch her, wishing I could sing this away instead.

  “No!” She put up her hands, and when I fought to touch her, she batted me away. “I don’t want anything to do with this. With you! Leave me alone!”

  Horror flooded through me. Was she calling things off? “Ash, please.”

  She turned to run and slipped on the path. I moved to catch her but missed her arm. She collapsed to the ground, landing on her hip. She rolled onto her butt, then grabbed her stomach, moaning. I tried to pick her up.

  “Stop it!” She slugged me in the arm, then curled up on the walkway, sobbing. “Go away.”

  “Ash.” I knelt down to help her up, wanting her to stand because she was exposing her underwear. “I wasn’t trying to lie to you… I just wanted to help. I’m sorry.”

  I’m so so sorry.

  She just sat there crying and shaking her head, mumbling something I couldn’t decipher. I wanted to fix it, but I didn’t know how.

  “What’s going on here?” Tatiana came around the wall. “Oh, my starfish! Ash! Are you hurt?”

  “No.” She dusted off her bloody knee that had started to heal. “I’m fine. I just want to be alone.”

  Tatiana leaned over and pulled Ash to her feet.

  “Ash.” My voice sounded breathless like I’d been punched in the gut. “I’m sorry.”

  “What did you do now?” Tatiana seethed through her teeth.

  “It’s not his fault.” Ash lifted her chin, her gaze not looking at me. “I just need a minute.”

  “Ash, honey?” her mother asked as she made her way up the path. “I heard you yell. Are you— Oh, my heavens. You’re bleeding!”

  “I’m fine.” She pressed past all of us and marched down to our designated table sitting on the lawn, her mother following behind.

  I watched them stride off, then glanced at Tatiana.

  “Don’t look at me,” she snapped. “If you screwed this up, so help me, I’ll knock your barnacles into next week. I swear it!”

  “I… just…”

  With a snide tone, she said, “You will go down there, and you will make her happy! Got it, limpet breath? I didn’t do all of this for you to screw it up!”

  I startled. She hadn’t called me that since we were kids, but I knew she was right. “I will.”

  She stormed off toward the party, but I couldn’t shake the pit filling my gut. I pulled in a breath and joined Ash at our table.

  She sat rigid, hands folded in front of her. Smells of freshly baked tuna that we’d caught made my stomach rumble. And though I needed to eat, if Ash hadn’t planned to, neither would I.

  “Here,” Tatiana brought a plate of food and set it before Ash. “You should eat.”

  “I’m not hungry,” she said sharply.

  Tatiana’s face grew wary. “Okay, well…” Her glare cut to me. If we were underwater, she would have chewed me out via mind-talking. “Tell me if you need anything, okay?”

  “I’m fine,” Ash said, short.

  The smells of her food made my mouth water. My nerves earlier had taken my appetite, and now I was starved. I leaned back and tried not to think about my stomach aching.

  Our family milled about us, eating and drinking, but as witnesses to our fight, they steered clear of us. News of Merric’s death didn’t help matters either. With the somber mood, I didn’t see anyone sticking around long. Even still, I just wanted this fight over with already.

  I reached over to take her hand. She jerked away and deadpanned.

  “What?” I asked.

  She turned to stare straight ahead again, her expression emotionless.

  “Are you going to ignore me all evening?”

  She sighed, but remained quiet, technically answering my question.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “What do I have to do to fix this?”

  Her glare landed on me and she threw her napkin on the table, then got up and stormed off.

  Everyone’s gaze followed her stiff jaunt across the lawn, then panned to me. Unable to hide, I rubbed the back of my neck, then just took Ash’s plate and dug in.

  “Fin?” Mom approached. “What’s going on here?”

  “Isn’t it obvious? They’re fighting.” Galadriel walked by, stuffing a piece of cake in her mouth. “Aren’t we going to dance? Where’s the DJ?”

  “Merric died! Don’t you have any respect?” I snapped.

  “Pssht! Your barnacles are in a bunch.”

  “Galadriel, could you give us a moment?” Mom asked far sweeter than she deserved.

  “By all means.” She gave a curt smile and headed to the DJ station.

  Mom took Ash’s seat next to me and the music started. “Trouble in paradise?”

  I shrugged, unsure how to respond.

  “What is going on?”

  “I don’t know anymore. Ash wanted this wedding. She wanted everyone to be here, but yet, she didn’t want me to sing to anyone.” I let out huff. “That’s nearly impossible.”

  “I’m confused… you mean the messenger that just showed?”

  “No.” I turned to her, speaking a little louder than I should. “Her mother.”

  Mom’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

  “On any given day she can be a royal pain in the anal fin,” I whisper-yelled, trying not to cuss.

  Mom gave me a harsh look to keep my voice down and leaned in whispering. “Who Desirée?”

  “No, Karen,” I said through my teeth. “You didn’t know her before.”

  “And what did you tell her?”

  “Just to be cordial. That’s all.”

  Mom stared at me pensively for a moment. Then she put her arm around my shoulder. “Listen, Fin. The song manipulates peo
ple, yes, but unless you’ve been singing every decision Karen has made regarding Ash, you haven’t been manipulating her. Yes, asking someone to be cordial can definitely change someone’s attitude, but it won’t stick around unless that’s already inside a person. Women have a lot of… hormonal issues, especially ones that are Ash’s mother’s age.”

  “You’re blaming this on hormones?”

  Mom chuckled. “No. I’m just saying that Karen most likely wanted to be happy for her daughter, but couldn’t for whatever reason — responsibility, stress, the fact you two are very young. That all plays into it.”

  “So you’re saying she is acting like who she wants to be, but couldn’t before,” I said.

  “Yes.”

  I paused, letting her words sink in. “So I didn’t manipulate her?”

  “I think what you did was set her free,” Mom suggested.

  My gaze panned to Ash’s parents dancing in the middle of the floor, happy and in love. Then I found Ash sitting alone on our bench by her parents’ dock, her back to me. “I think she wants to be alone.”

  “No girl wants to be alone. I think she wants to know her mother loves her and all of this has been real. But maybe right now, this isn’t something to fix. Just listen.”

  Telling a guy not to fix something was like asking him not to breathe. But at this point, I would try anything. “Okay.”

  “Good.” Mom smiled. “‘Cause this is the ‘for better or for worse’ part of a relationship.”

  “I know.”

  “And I’m going to tell you what my mother told me. Never go to bed angry.”

  My eyes slid shut. Getting Ash to not be angry at me seemed impossible, but I was willing to try. “Okay.”

  “And remember she’s dealing with a lot of hormones herself. I had terrible nightmares when I was pregnant with you two.”

  My head swung around to meet her gaze. “Nightmares?”

  “Vivid ones where people were hunting me down, trying to take me,” she said. “I couldn’t tell what was real sometimes. I almost drove your father nuts.”

  That confirmed what I thought happened to her earlier this week. “Thanks for the advice.”

  Mom’s face brightened. “Good. Now go talk to your girl. You’ve got a big day tomorrow!”