Way Off Plan

by Alexa Land

  Pretty soon he mumbled, “Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum,” and increased his speed on my cock, taking me all the way to the root before pulling up all the way to my tip and then plunging down on me again.

  After just a couple long strokes like that, my orgasm tore from my body, and I pumped up into him as I came, yelling incoherently. At the same time his cum hit my stomach and chest, coating me in his thick, warm cream. He rode me through to the end of my orgasm, then leaned down and ran his tongue over my nipple, capturing a drop of his own juice. He fell forward, one hand on either side of my head, and kissed me deeply, feeding himself to me, and I sucked his tongue eagerly. “You taste so good,” I murmured.

  He smiled and lay on top of me, supporting part of his weight with his hands and knees, and I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. And he whispered in my ear, “I will love you for the rest of my life.”

  I almost quipped, even after you’re married? But I stopped myself. This moment was too perfect to mess it up with jealousy. So instead I said, “Ditto.”

  He laughed at that. “Well said.” Then he asked me, “Do you have enough energy to get up and take another shower?”

  “No getting up. Getting up bad,” I grumbled.

  “Ok, baby, then you just relax.” He reached underneath him and grasped the base of my dick, holding the condom in place as he pulled himself off of me. And then my eyes went wide as he peeled the condom off my cock. “You look startled,” he observed as he tied the condom off and tossed it in the trash.

  I smiled and said, “That was just really unexpected, you taking care of me like that. And really intimate.”

  He smiled too. “I am all about taking care of you, baby. Stay there and I’ll be right back.”

  He returned from the bathroom with a warm, damp hand towel and a second dry one, and proceeded to wash the cum off my body. He met my eyes and said with a lopsided grin, “About to do something startlingly intimate again.” And then he gently picked up my cock and washed it off, followed by my balls. The dry towel followed. He ran it over my body and then got up and said, “There. All clean. Startling intimacy about to happen again in 3…2….” He leaned down and kissed the tip of my cock, then winked at me and went into the bathroom.

  Dmitri was back a moment later, hands on his narrow hips. “Where do you keep your extra sheets, baby?”

  “Extra sheets?” I echoed dumbly.

  “Yeah, you know: big rectangular things. Fit around a mattress?”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “I get the sheet concept. It’s the extra part that’s throwing me.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Here’s how us commoners do it, Squilliam Fancyson: once a week, we strip our beds and take the linens to the Laundromat, along with all our clothes. We wash them. We come home. We put them back on the bed. Ta da! Clean linens.”

  “Oh my God,” he laughed, hands still on those sexy hips. “You dork! You just made a Spongebob reference!”

  “Yeah, and guess what? You just got a Spongebob reference. Dork.” I smiled at him happily.

  He blushed and started to say, “Well, that’s because I have–”

  “Nephews. Uh huh. That’s my excuse too.” I winked at him and rolled off the bed, then pulled the soiled sheet off the mattress and tossed it in my laundry hamper.

  “Please don’t tell me we’re going to the Laundromat now,” he complained.

  “Nope. Us poor folk have learned to im-pro-vise,” I said with a faux southern accent as I grabbed a big quilt from the top of my closet and tossed it over the bed, then began tucking it in under the edge of the mattress. He went around to the far side of the bed and helped me, then tossed my pillows and blankets on top of it, and we climbed into bed. Dmitri cuddled against me and closed his eyes.

  “Are you going to sleep?” I asked.

  “Nope. It’s like, eight o’clock. I’m just waiting for you to rebuild your energy so you can fuck me again.” He kissed my shoulder, wrapping an arm around my waist.

  “You’re insatiable. You know that?”

  “I do know that. And like you’re not.”

  I grinned and said, “Maybe we should change it up next time, give me a turn on the bottom. Otherwise you’re going to be really sore tomorrow.”

  “I hope I am sore.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s just like the marks on my wrists,” he murmured, sounding distinctly like he was dosing off. “If I’m sore, then I’ll be constantly reminded of how you fucked me so good over and over today.”

  “You seem to need a lot of reminders,” I teased quietly as I watched him drift. “Maybe I should just set up a tattoo appointment for you. You could get ‘Jamie’s’ inked on your cute little butt as a constant reminder.”

  “I wouldn’t see it there,” he mumbled, almost asleep. “Would put it over my heart.”

  “I love you, Dmitri Teplov,” I whispered.

  “Love you too. Forever,” he murmured, right before sleep took him.

  I actually felt tears prickling behind my eyes at that. No, not forever, I thought. Ten months and counting. God, I was going to be so far beyond devastated when this was over.

  I’d vowed to just enjoy the time I had with Dmitri, and to accept the fact that it was going to end far too soon. But the more time I spent with him, the more I wondered what was going to be left of me after it was all said and done. It had only been – wow, five days. Really? And already it was impossible to imagine my life without him.

  I was so screwed.

  Chapter Nine

  I carefully untangled myself from Dmitri and slipped out of bed, then padded into the living room, leaving my bedroom door only slightly ajar. I grabbed a pair of shorts from the floor – the ones Dmitri had been wearing earlier – and pulled them on, then went in search of my cell phone.

  Eventually I found it on top of my refrigerator, where I’d put it to keep it out of nephew range. Was that only this morning?

  I had a bunch of messages: my sisters offering lots of unsolicited advice about how I should handle our Dad, my friend Liam inviting me to lunch tomorrow, and Jess, of course, checking in every couple hours and wondering how I was doing.

  I sat on my couch and shot a quick message to Liam, confirming lunch. And then I texted Jess: Saw Erin and Mo today, but you probably know that. Tippy is in love with Dmitri. Coincidentally, Dmitri is in love with me. Thanks loads for telling me.

  She replied not a minute later: He told you! Finally! Admit it, it was better coming from him instead of me.

  The ‘finally’ was kind of funny, since again, I had only known him five days. I wrote: So how are you? And Fernando? And the ducks?

  Nando’s trip has been extended by several days. Not only are they not ducks, they’re also not cooperating. I’m fine but I miss him. Am considering ditching work and hopping a plane/train/auto bound for northern Canada to see him.

  I wrote back: I’ll drive you to Canada in the pea green shit machine. Have week off anyway. Let’s go see the ducks. Oh and your husband.

  Jess replied: You can’t drive me to Canada. You don’t have a passport, you big loser.

  Don’t need a passport to visit our neighbors to the north, I told her.

  Uh huh. Look it up. You totally need a passport.

  We spent the next few minutes arguing back and forth about the passport thing (she ultimately proved to be right, but I kept pretending not to believe her even after I knew better, just to annoy her).

  When finally that debate wound down, she wrote: Wanna come over? I have wine and a chick flick.

  You do not. You hate wine and you hate chick flicks.

  Ok, ya got me. I actually have tequila and The Terminator. Which somehow made sense as a theme night when I was putting this plan together. Maybe cuz in the movie she goes to Mexico at the end? Come over.

  I grinned at that and replied: Love to, but I have a hot naked Russian in my bed.

  And Jess shot back: Then what the fuck are you doing t
exting me, you idiot?

  He fell asleep due to excessive sex. I’m in the living room trying not to wake him.

  I C, Jess wrote.

  And after a long moment, I typed: It’s going to fucking kill me when he gets married, Jess.

  Her response was instantaneous: I’ll be right over.

  Jess’s apartment was a solid fifteen minute walk from mine, but in under ten minutes I heard her key in the lock. She stuck her head in the door and whispered, “Is he still asleep?”

  “Yup.” I got up from the couch and crossed the room to give her a hug.

  Jess was wearing a black trench coat over light blue flannel pajamas that were covered in a repeating pattern of yellow rubber ducks. I, of course, had given her the pajamas last week as part of my ongoing series of duck jabs. The look was so utterly unlike her that I had to smile as I whispered, “You’re wearing the duck jammies!”

  “They’re comfortable. And it’s not like anyone was going to see me in them tonight. At least, not until I hopped in a cab and came over here.” She, too, was whispering. “I brought the tequila. And Ahnold.” She pulled a bottle and a DVD out of her spacious red handbag, then deposited the purse, coat, and five inch heels she was wearing in the kitchen, coming back with a couple shot glasses.

  I set up the DVD, muting the sound and putting on subtitles so as not to disturb Dmitri. “That’s better anyway,” Jess whispered, gesturing at the subtitles with her shot glass. “I never know what the fuck Ahnold’s saying.”

  “Does he even say anything in this movie? Besides I’ll be back?” That last part I whispered in a heavy Austrian accent, of course.

  Jess poured a couple shots of tequila as she shrugged and said, “I really don’t remember. Last time I saw this movie, I was six.”

  “Your parents let you watch The Terminator when you were six?”

  “No, they didn’t let me. But when did that ever stop me?” She handed me a shot glass and whispered, “Let’s make this a drinking game. Every time someone gets shot, we’ll do a shot. Ah, there, now it’s a theme!”

  “If we do that, we’ll die of alcohol poisoning,” I told her as we both curled up on the couch and leaned against each other. “I think that like, a hundred people get shot in this movie.”

  “Oh, it’s nowhere near a hundred. And even if it was, we’d probably pass out way before we died.”

  “Comforting.”

  I pressed play on my remote. “Oh man, that Army guy just got shot. And we’re only a minute into the movie,” I observed, and tossed back my tequila.

  “Kinda shot. Kinda blown up. I’ll allow it,” Jess said, then tossed back her shot as well.

  “Also, 2029? Really? This dystopian future is less than twenty years from now.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “Nothing. Just saying.” I tucked my feet under me and draped my arm around Jess’s shoulders. “Hey, look: four minutes into the movie and there’s buck naked Ahnold. He was actually pretty hot back in the day.”

  Jess shrugged and said, “I guess. If you like that sort of thing.”

  “Big muscles?”

  “Republicans.”

  I bit back a laugh so as not to wake Dmitri. “Ew, heart ripped out. He wasn’t shot, though.”

  Jess refilled my shot glass. “I’m issuing an amendment: one shot per corpse. Cause of death irrelevant.”

  “Works for me.”

  We settled in to watch the movie, and after my sixth shot in thirty minutes I exclaimed in a stage whisper, “I’m out,” and set my glass upside down on the coffee table.

  “Wimp,” Jess said, tossing back her sixth shot like it was water.

  We watched the movie for a few more minutes, and eventually Jess whispered, “So what are you going to do?” It took my slightly drunk brain a minute to catch up and realize she was referring to our earlier text conversation.

  “What can I do?” I said quietly. “He’s getting married. And I think I know why now. You should have seen him with Brody and Brennan today. He’s amazing with kids, and they adore him. His fiancé can give him children of his own. I can’t compete with that.”

  “Um, it’s called adoption,” Jess whispered.

  “Yeah, Mo pointed out the obvious, too. But maybe he wants his own flesh and blood with this woman. Whoever she is. And maybe it’s more than that. Maybe he loves her.”

  “He loves you, Jamie.”

  “I’m going to be a total basket case when he gets married, Jess. I’m seriously going to need you to block out the whole month of June. That’s when the wedding is. You, me, and Nando are going to have to run away to Mexico and spend weeks getting totally shit faced. I won’t want to sober up until sometime next fall.”

  “Ok. We’ll do that.” Jess looked at me closely and whispered, “Jamie, are you sure you should go on seeing him? Maybe if you walk away now it’ll hurt less than walking away right before the wedding.”

  “I can’t,” I told her. “Walking away now would rip my heart out. And it would deny me a few months of getting to be with him. I’d regret that for the rest of my life.”

  Jess put her arm around me and I put my head on her shoulder, and we tried to focus on the movie for a while. On screen, a nightclub was getting shot up. And just as the good guy reached Sarah Connor, a voice behind us said, in perfect unison with the muted screen image, “Come with me if you want to live.”

  We both turned to look at Dmitri. He was leaning against the doorframe to the bedroom, dressed in a pair of my cargo shorts and a t-shirt from my favorite sushi bar, Pink Godzilla in Santa Cruz. The shirt featured a pink cartoon baby Godzilla riding a surf board.

  And Jess said, “Holy crap! Less than a week together and you’ve turned that well-dressed man into a mini Jamie.”

  I rolled my eyes at her and said to Dmitri, “Hey baby. Sorry if we woke you.”

  “You didn’t,” he said. “Mind if I join you guys?”

  “Please do.”

  I started to slide over to make room for him on the couch, but he sat at my feet and leaned against my leg. He glanced over his shoulder and said, “Hey Jess. Cute PJs.”

  “Hi Dmitri. They’re Jamie’s fault.”

  “Ah.”

  “So, just to catch you up, we were doing shots every time someone in the movie got killed. But Jamie just wimped out,” she said.

  “Yeah, after six shots of tequila!” I reached for the remote and put the sound back on, and asked, “Want me to start it over at the beginning?”

  “No need. I’ve seen The Terminator a bunch,” Dmitri said. “I love this movie. In fact, I almost named my nightclub Tech-Noir after the club that’s on screen right now.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yup. But then, as my sisters pointed out, that would have made me a huge dork. And also probably gotten my ass sued by James Cameron.”

  “Valid points.”

  Jess said, “Well damn, I guess I need to give up the drinking game, too. That nightclub is littered with corpses. I’ll pass out if I do that many shots.”

  “You win anyway,” I told her. “I bailed before you.”

  “Again,” she said.

  “Again,” I agreed.

  We watched the movie for a while, Dmitri’s head on my thigh as I stroked his hair. At one point I exclaimed, “Oh, ew! Xacto blade eye surgery! Gah!” and hid behind my hands while everyone laughed at me.

  “You think that’s scary? How about Sarah Connor’s acid wash high-rise Mom jeans, tucked into a pair of white socks? Now that’s scary,” Jess said.

  “Don’t blame her. Blame the 80’s,” I replied.

  “Shh, you’re gonna miss it,” Dmitri exclaimed, sitting up straighter. “Wait for it…” And then in perfect sync with Ahnold, Dmitri delivered the line, “I’ll be back.” He smiled at me happily over his shoulder and said, “Classic.”

  Jess grinned at that and said, “Aw man, and Dmitri looked so normal. You two deserve each other. You’re both total dorks.”

/>   When the movie was over Dmitri offered to drive Jess home, since he was the only one that hadn’t been drinking. I could only imagine the embarrassing things Jess was going to say about me in the five minutes they spent alone in his car.

  When he returned to my apartment, Dmitri let himself in with my key. He found me in the bedroom, naked and lounging on my stomach. His breath caught at the sight of me and he reached out to brace himself against the doorframe.