Kill a Spy

by Samantha Lee Howe

  She lies back down on the bed and begins to focus on the room as she tries to bring her mind back to the present. Period but contemporary. The décor is fresh and clean even as the furniture is renaissance. A perfect pairing of the good things about the present and the past and it shows magnificent taste, and wealth. Something that doesn’t always go together in Mia’s opinion.

  ‘Annalise…’ she says.

  Yes. Annalise is an important and influential figure. She is the current chair of the Network. That was what she told her last night over a supper of chateaubriand and fresh vegetables. ‘All grown,’ Annalise had said, ‘on the château’s grounds.’

  There’s another flashback of memory that laps over the recollection of the night before. A lunch date with Uncle Andrew… no, not uncle. He was her father and she knew it as they sat opposite each other in the conservatory of his home in Lincolnshire. She’d often visited him there and they’d talked. When she was… activated… was that the right word? No. When she was allowed to remember, her father had told her all about Annalise.

  ‘I don’t trust her, of course. If anything happens to me, she’ll make a move to control. But then she’ll find that she can’t do it without you.’

  ‘Why?’ Mia had asked.

  ‘You hold the keys to my kingdom, Mia. You and Michael combined will be unstoppable. You could reshape the world. Buy governments,’ he explained.

  ‘Why would we want to?’ Mia asked.

  ‘Because power is freedom,’ Beech had said.

  He had made it seem so simple. Mia had listened and she understood now, how Annalise needed her. It was obvious really. There’d always been a Beech running the Network. Male or female, it didn’t matter, they were always known as ‘Mr Beech’. And the figurehead was what kept the Network together. As well as the fear of the current Mr Beech’s wrath.

  Annalise hadn’t told her, but Mia knows that this is why she has been brought here, and why her memories have been returned. But it’s no temporary transition and that is why it hurts so much. This time she remembers who she is – and it’s permanent. It can’t be taken from her, thanks to the codewords that her mother, Kritta, must have revealed to Annalise. As a result, Mia understands that she has to take over the reins or the Network will fall apart. All because Michael has failed to do so. Beech had known what he was doing with his children, even though the conditioning, the dual personalities and lives, were an experiment. As children they would switch from one personality to the other and their alter egos were totally unaware of each other.

  That’s why the two merging is so confusing and painful, Mia thinks. Just as Beech had warned her it would be.

  Mia’s mind settles. So much information is inside her that it’s hard to focus on what is important. The Network is designed to fail without its rightful leader. Beech has never explained how or why this was. Perhaps it was something that his father had instilled to make sure his reign would never be challenged. It doesn’t matter because now Mia recognizes it’s time to take back control.

  She sits up now on the bed. Her mind and body once more within her full possession. Annalise will ask her later why she didn’t bring her daughter when she had requested it. Mia must have the answer ready.

  Freya will one day take over the empire, and she must never be given into the hands of Annalise. Even in her activated state, Mia knows that. Despite appearances, Annalise’s ‘invitation’ was more of an order. But Mia understands that Annalise can’t make a move against her. She’ll be looking for an alliance. The cards are all in Mia’s hands, as long as her daughter remains safe.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Janine

  Janine searches through her encrypted email in search of news from Neva. It’s been weeks since she helped Neva hide Michael and they’ve had no contact since. She doesn’t know where Neva is or if she is still with Michael.

  At the thought of Michael, Janine feels a burst of intense anger and frustration. Neva has feelings for the man: it is obvious. If Michael hadn’t come along, if he wasn’t around, perhaps Neva would have been able to see another place her heart could lie.

  Part of her now wishes that she’d let the Network take him. But despite how she feels, Janine knows it is irrational to hold it against Neva that she doesn’t feel the same: Neva was never hers. But on some level, she’d hoped that her loyalty and admiration would be noticed. It hadn’t been. The thought stirs something in her that she is unused to: anger, jealousy and an onslaught of grief.

  Janine is about to close her email when she finds something in her junk mail that shouldn’t be there. It’s from Kady.

  Despite believing she is over this period in her life, there is a tight lurch in Janine’s chest. Kady had been important once. They’d shared so much, and Janine had thought she loved her. She stares at the subject line, Hi Babe, for a short time and then out of curiosity she opens the email.

  Thought I’d catch up with you, Kady’s email says. What are you up to these days? Heard you quit your job and moved away.

  Janine reads the email again. It’s a simple enquiry that could mean nothing at all. It’s been over a year since they last spoke, and Janine found her with another girl. At the time she’d been devastated. She’d never expected Kady to betray her like that. Even now, the thought of it still hurts. For a time the whole affair had run around her brain until she short circuited, got drunk and then picked up a man on a one-night stand. The breakdown hadn’t lasted long, and Janine had regretted the drunken fumbling and had soon forgotten the name of the man in question.

  She reads Kady’s message again. Without contact with Neva she feels isolated. What harm can it do?

  I’m in London now, she replies. Have another job. What are you doing?

  Kady answers almost immediately. I’m in London too. Want to meet for a drink?

  Janine stares at the screen. Her mind goes over the good and the bad and the intense loneliness she’d felt when Neva had disappeared from her life before. Kady had once stepped in and filled the breach. Despite how that had turned out, Janine is still open to friendship with her. After all, Neva might not be in touch for months or even years. If ever again. She just doesn’t know. But one thing she does understand is that she will be thrown back into that empty void with no friends, no home and no lover once Neva uses her again for whatever intrigue she’s involved with. It is all more depressing than it should be to someone in her position.

  She emails Kady her new phone number. Known only by Neva. Within seconds the phone rings.

  ‘Hey,’ Janine says.

  ‘Hi beautiful. I missed you. Can you forgive a stupid tart for her mistakes?’ Kady says.

  Janine feels breathless as she hears Kady’s voice. Yes, she still is under her skin. Perhaps as much as Neva is. But Janine holds back her giddy emotions: she doesn’t want to be hurt again. Not by Neva and not by Kady. Even so, curiosity gets the better of her. What does Kady look like now? Maybe she won’t find her attractive anymore? Surely then she can put this part of her life aside for good?

  ‘I’m up for a drink,’ Janine says, hoping that she doesn’t sound too interested.

  After arranging to meet, Janine puts her phone down and closes her laptop.

  She dresses, making more effort than usual. Her hair is dyed Neva’s colour at the moment, just in case she needs to double for her. It’s longer than usual, and she wears it down, over her shoulders. After she applies make-up, she finds a short, sexy dress to wear. She holds the dress up against her body and looks at herself in the mirror.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she says to her reflection. ‘She cheated on you, remember?’

  The thought of seeing Kady again is such a diversion that Janine pulls the dress on anyway, enjoying the feeling as it hugs her curves. She could do with some relaxation after the last job with Neva, and Kady was always good at helping her do that. What real harm could it do?

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Ben

  Feeling suspicious of
Steward, Ben doesn’t contact his boss when they move him and Freya back to RAF Digby. Instead he destroys his mobile phone and leaves the remnants of it in the old house. He also doesn’t take his work laptop, passing it instead to Ray Martin to return to MI6.

  His mind is a mess. He can’t believe that Mia has been taken, nor that she appeared to go willingly. It was just as Michael had warned, back when they were first in protective custody. Now he wishes he’d listened harder. He hadn’t really believed the things Michael had said about Mia being triggered. It just wasn’t possible that she could become someone else. But Ben knows it had been the same with Michael for a time too, he had just hoped that it wouldn’t work on her, or, better still, that the Network would never find her.

  Now, back in the family apartments at the barracks, Ben feels helpless. All he wants to do is find Mia and bring her back home to safety, but Ray has ordered him to stay with Freya.

  Ben feeds Freya some baby food followed by formula milk because she’s fractious. After she’s eaten, he places her down on the floor on her baby mat. In the last few hours since they’d arrived at the barracks, Freya has begun to flip herself over onto her front. Ben watches her do it again and his heart hurts because he knows that Mia would be so thrilled to see this progress. The thought brings tears to his eyes and makes him feel even more useless. What kind of agent was he that he couldn’t protect his own wife?

  Ben feels responsible for what’s happened. He’d known that Steward was spying on Archive, but not why. Though he suspected it was some sort of pissing contest between Steward and Ray Martin. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he hadn’t wanted to give up his career, Ben and Mia would have been off the radar. He’d have been with her all the time too, ready to defend her, and Jack Harman wouldn’t have had to fight off three of the Network’s thugs alone. Ben is sure he had been followed after one of the meetings Steward had insisted on having. He’s always known Steward to be a prick. Now he is paying for ignoring his instincts. He should have stayed away from Steward and MI6.

  For the first time since they’d had their daughter, Ben regrets their decision to become a family. Not because he doesn’t love Freya – he does, and it is agony – but because he can’t help wondering if Mia was somehow activated into desiring motherhood and becoming a breeder for the Network. From the point when Mia left their home, leaving Freya behind, it feels to Ben like nothing in his life is genuine: a thought that sinks inside him and causes deep regret. Hadn’t Mia once felt the same when she’d learned that Ben had pursued her in his attempts to take down Beech? He can’t help believing that this was all karma.

  A knock at the door of the flat brings him away from his dark thoughts.

  No one is supposed to know they’re there, so he checks the spyhole in the door first. It’s Ray Martin. He opens the door.

  ‘Can I come in?’ Ray says.

  Ben steps back and allows Ray to enter.

  ‘Can I get you a drink?’ Ben asks, remembering his manners.

  ‘I’m not here for a social call. I received this today,’ Ray says.

  Ray holds out a letter that is addressed to Ben. Ben looks at it, recognizing Mia’s handwriting. His heart begins to beat harder as a rush of fear-soaked adrenaline races through his body.

  ‘It came in an envelope that was postmarked three days ago,’ Ray says. ‘There was a letter to me, asking me to give this to you unopened. As it’s addressed to you, I didn’t open it until Mia went missing. I had to then. I hope you understand. It’s from Mia. You need to read this now.’

  Ben’s hand is shaking as he takes the envelope. He looks down at the handwriting again. His wife has a particular scrawl, often hurried and untidy, and his name on the front has those usual rushed curves. Ben pulls the letter from the already opened envelope to see a handwritten note. Unlike the urgent penmanship on the front, the handwriting inside is neater and appears to be carefully considered.

  Ben,

  * * *

  Today I began to remember something very important. I’m going to be gone soon and you’ll want to come looking for me, but this is what I need you to do. You have to stay with Freya and keep her safe. They want her Ben. You know who I’m talking about and I don’t need to spell it out here. But they can’t have her and you must be that last line of defence.

  * * *

  I know what I’m asking will be difficult for you to do. But don’t leave Freya in the care of anyone else. Not even for a moment.

  * * *

  You can’t trust anyone now. Especially me.

  * * *

  I love you.

  * * *

  Mia xxx

  Ben lets Ray take the letter from his trembling fingers. The blood has surged into his face. He feels hot and feverish and very scared.

  ‘I guess she finally remembered who she is,’ Ray says.

  ‘But what does this mean? Even if she remembers she can’t forget who she has been. She can’t forget our life together,’ Ben says. ‘She can’t want to be parted from Freya!’

  He slumps down onto the sofa near Freya. The little girl is on her stomach again and rocking back and forth as though she’s working out how to crawl for the first time. Ben is in shock. He feels alone and afraid. An emotion he’s unused to. He stares down at his daughter and his mind tries to anticipate a future as a single parent.

  ‘We’ll find her,’ Ray says.

  Ben looks up at him. His eyes are wet with unshed tears.

  ‘But what then? She’s changed now and forever lost to us as who she was,’ Ben says.

  ‘Not necessarily. Michael was able to combat his conditioning. He remembered his real self and chose to be true to it,’ Ray says.

  ‘What if we speak to Michael? Maybe he’ll remember something that could help,’ Ben says.

  ‘Michael has gone AWOL. He’s looking for Mia himself,’ Ray says.

  ‘Oh my god, that idiot. It’s exactly what they’ll want him to do. And when they have them both we’ll never find them again,’ Ben says.

  ‘I know this is hard to hear,’ Ray says. ‘But you need to concentrate on Freya’s safety now. We’re going to keep you both on base for the foreseeable future. No excursions without security. And, as Mia said, don’t leave the baby with anyone. She just isn’t safe.’

  Ben looks down at his daughter again and then the tears finally come. He feels like he’s breaking apart as, like a cavern that both he and Freya may topple into, the very real possibility of a future without Mia looms before him.

  Ray pats his back in an awkward gesture of sympathy, then he turns and leaves the apartment without another word.

  He’s just as shell-shocked as me, Ben thinks.

  When the door closes behind Ray, Ben picks up Freya and holds her. She’s so like Mia that he feels the urge to cry again. But instead he tries to smile at the baby.

  ‘We’ll be okay,’ he says. ‘Uncle Ray will get Mummy back for us. Just you wait and see.’

  He doesn’t believe the words that he uses to soothe Freya, but he hopes that somehow, by some miracle, they will come true. Because Ben doesn’t want to do this alone. He’s a spy, not a single parent, and has never seen himself in any other role, even as he’d fallen in love with Mia and started their ‘normal’ life together.

  His heart aches and the confusion and stress of the situation gives him the urge to run away from it all, as Mia appears to have done.

  ‘I’m not cut out for this,’ he says to Freya.

  But then, Mia’s words come back to him. You can’t trust anyone. Especially me.

  ‘But I’ll do my best to make sure you’re safe,’ he says. ‘Not matter how hard it is.’

  Freya gurgles and giggles and Ben smiles despite how heartbroken he’s feeling. At least he has the unconditional love of his daughter. And Freya needs him. It’s the most important job he’s ever had in his life.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Michael

  ‘Have you brought me on a wild goose chase?
’ I ask as we sit in a small patisserie in Toulouse, drinking coffee with two pastries on a plate to share.

  ‘My source says Annalise is here. And if that’s the case, then Mia is more than likely with her,’ Neva says.

  ‘Where here? We don’t even have a proper location,’ I say.

  I’m frustrated because we’ve been here two days now and know nothing more.

  ‘You don’t understand. The information I’m waiting for has to be found discreetly. It will be dangerous for my source to blatantly search for it. But she’s one of the best hackers I’ve ever worked with. And we’re here because she’s narrowing down the location using a lot of subtlety,’ Neva explains.

  Despite spending every waking moment together for over sixty hours, we haven’t been intimate again. Neva hasn’t even broached the subject. I’m going through a range of emotions from confusion to relief. As if she’s afraid of how she feels about me, Neva has shut me out. I am teetering on the edge of my nerves all the time, torn as I am between my feelings for her and the need to find Mia as soon as possible. Part of me thinks this divorcing of her emotions is down to Neva’s conditioning: she’s in work mode and therefore wants to keep her mind on the job. If so, I applaud it, but I can’t help feeling insecure anyway. It’s too easy for her to lapse back into the cold calculator operative, though really I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m capable of doing the same thing myself. At least I was, until Neva came back into my life and changed me. Now, I wish I too could keep my mind solely on our search. Life is complicated enough without my seesawing emotions.

  After breakfast we go back to the hotel and check Neva’s encrypted laptop for messages again. But nothing has come from Elbakitten and I’m beginning to wonder if this person is just stringing Neva along. Beyond telling her Annalise is in Toulouse, we have no other information, and this town has too many occupants to make it possible for us to come across her by accident.