The Wedding Diaries

by Linda Francis Lee

She pulled into the parking lot of the law firm, slid the car into the first space she came to, then headed for the entrance. As soon as she saw Grady, she’d reassure herself that she was doing the right thing in marrying him. Her attraction to Max was an aberration. Cold feet. Completely understandable when faced with the long-term commitment of marriage. Who wouldn’t be scared?

  But she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Grady in the parking lot. He stood next to an old car that she had never noticed before parked at the far side of the building. When he moved just a bit, she saw he was with a woman.

  Vivi froze, unable to call out or look away.

  Grady had his arm crooked on the open door, Sharon Willis standing in the V formed by him and the car. Vivi watched, her stomach lodged in her throat. Grady smiled down at Sharon, a warm, loving expression that he had never shown Vivi.

  As if she had already seen this play, she knew what was coming next, but still she couldn’t move or close her eyes. It wasn’t the kiss that felt like a jab to the ribs. It was the tenderness.

  Grady gently touched Sharon’s chin with his fingertips, tilting her head ever so slightly, before he leaned down and brushed her lips. Vivi felt like a voyeur watching a secret interlude, witnessing an exchange that left her with a poignant ache.

  But on the heels of the yearning came something else. Something inevitable. This was where they had been heading all along. This was why she knew so little about him. They weren’t meant to be together.

  She had been fooling herself that things were working out between them. But if she was truthful with herself, she knew he didn’t love her. Not really. Not enough. And she realized then that she couldn’t marry him.

  She wouldn’t be his bride.

  It hit her full in the chest, her sharp intake of breath like a gasp of relief, but also of disappointment and an understanding of what she had to do next—the only thing that was fair and honorable for everyone.

  She must have made a noise, because suddenly the secret lovers broke apart. Instantly they saw her.

  Grady blanched. “Vivi!”

  The old car door swung closed on Sharon when he stepped away. Vivi had dated him for a year, had been engaged for four months. On the night he proposed, they had made love. Her first time.

  Like a fool, she had waited for Mr. Right. She nearly scoffed out loud. That wasn’t exactly true. She had waited for the only man she’d ever dated. Strict boarding schools followed by a barrage of unflattering articles only attracted the wrong sort of guy. This man’s soft blandness had made him seem right in a world of fathers who drove horned golf carts and mothers who went looking for themselves with bearded gurus who promised happiness.

  “Vivi, it’s not how it looks.”

  “Oh, Grady, it’s time we stop pretending.” She said it as kindly as she knew how.

  Red surged into the blank white slate of his face. “What are you talking about?”

  “You and I aren’t going to work. Deep down we both know it.” As she said the words, her conviction grew. This had been coming, but she hadn’t wanted to see it.

  He hurried over to her, taking her arms. “Of course we’re going to work out. We are going to be married in a matter of months. Everything’s planned. Everyone knows.”

  He stared at her for an eternity, pleading and desperate, and she nearly gave in. Maybe she had misunderstood what she’d seen. But then she pushed the thought away. She hadn’t been mistaken. Besides, it was far more than a kiss with another woman that had made Vivi open her eyes.

  “I don’t even know your favorite song,” she said with feeling.

  “What?”

  She tugged her arms away. “Grady, I kept telling myself that you and I were meant to be together,” she explained. “But it’s time I was truthful with myself.”

  “Truthful with yourself?” he demanded. “This whole thing has been a lie?”

  “Not a lie, Grady. But the fact is you are more interested in your work and a colleague than you are in me.”

  His expression hardened, but she persevered.

  “It’s better we accept that fact now rather than later, after we’re married and miserable together.”

  He smiled, and for half a second she was relieved.

  “You’re right,” he said, his harsh tone confusing her. “We really aren’t compatible. The truth is, we’re too different.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Come on, Vivi. Don’t play dumb.”

  She told herself he was lashing out. She told herself that she should turn around and walk to her car. “Dumb? Why is that, Grady? Because I’m not a lawyer? Because I can’t talk about legal briefs and court summations? Explain it to me.”

  “Because you’re a rich daddy’s girl.”

  Her knees locked.

  “You are the pampered princess they write about in the papers.” His voice rose. “In fact, the truth is I can’t tell you how many times I have wondered how I would deal with the way you never get messy. The way you always have to be so perfect. You can never do anything wrong. But nobody’s perfect, Vivi, and it’s like you spend your life trying to be just that.”

  “You think I’m trying to be perfect?”

  He lowered his voice, though there was a fierceness in it that she had never heard before.

  “Have you ever done anything wild, Vivi? Hell, you were a twenty-five-year-old virgin when I met you,” he said. “I didn’t think it was possible that there were still women like you in this day and age.”

  He’s hurting, she told herself. Don’t take it personally. She smiled over her pounding heart. “I’m sorry that not sleeping around turned out to be a bad thing.”

  “I’m not talking about being easy, Vivi. But a man wants a woman who’s a match for him in life.” He straightened his shoulders defensively. “And in bed. Let’s face it, Vivi. You’re boring in the sack.”

  Her breath exhaled with a sharp rush, and the last few days of holding on tumbled in on her. Memories rushed through her head, and before she could think, she snapped. “Maybe I wouldn’t have been so boring if you didn’t have such a . . . a . . . puny penis.”

  As soon as she said the words, she gasped. Grady’s mouth fell open.

  Dear God, what had she just said?

  “I’ve got to go,” she squeaked, then practically threw herself into the car.

  Counting to ten, then back again, she shifted into reverse, almost running over Grady’s toes. Then she sped away, so upset that she didn’t even think about turn signals and speed limits.

  Puny penis?

  What were you thinking?

  Clearly she hadn’t been thinking, at least not about anything a nice girl from Texas would think, much less say.

  She clutched the steering wheel with a deadly grip, holding emotion in check as best as she could. She had been mean. Horribly mean. Not to mention that who was she to judge the merit of his penis? It wasn’t as if she had anything to compare it with. For all she knew, they were all that size.

  She drove, not using her blinker a single time, until she ended up at the bank only a few minutes before four. She’d think about Grady later. She had more pressing problems.

  She flew into First National, her high heels and jangle of bracelets echoing in the marble and granite lobby, then she took the carpeted steps to the executive offices.

  Elizabeth took one look at her and opened the president’s office door without pause. As soon as he saw her, Conway Garrett grimaced and stood. “Vivi, it’s good to see you.”

  Stepping into the leather and book-lined office, she felt a budding sense of relief start to push away her anxiety. At the sight of the older man’s kind face, she was ready for him to tell her this was all an unfortunate mistake.

  “Conway, thank you for seeing me.”

  He smiled like a benevolent grandfather, all but patting her on the head. “Vivi, let’s sit down and discuss this.”

  Alarm rang through her. “What is there to discuss? My accounts are
empty and my payment checks are bouncing. I don’t feel like sitting. Please just tell me what’s wrong.”

  “All right. If you want it straight . . . Vivienne, your accounts are empty because your money is gone. Your checks are being returned for insufficient funds.”

  Her head swam. “But I have overdraft coverage.”

  “Unfortunately, not anymore. Not since your father withdrew your balance just before he left town.”

  “Withdrew it? How can he withdraw my money?”

  But she knew.

  “He is a cosignatory on the account, as you well know.”

  “This doesn’t make any sense. Why would he withdraw money from my account when he has his own?”

  “Vivi,” he said, his voice kind. “Your father’s money is gone, too.”

  She sat down like a piece of lead.

  Minutes ticked by, the distant sound of normal, business-day voices and transactions drifting to her. But nothing was normal for Vivi.

  “How can that be?” she asked.

  Conway sighed. “While I was out of town, he came in and emptied the accounts. By the time I returned, it was already done. That’s all I can tell you.”

  Vivi’s mind spun and her stomach reeled. How many times had her father left her? How many weeks and months had she spent alone, waiting for him to return?

  “It’s all a mistake,” she whispered. “He’ll come back and explain.”

  The banker stared at her. “I hope so, Vivi. I truly do. But in the meantime, you have no funds.”

  Numb, she swallowed hard. “Could you give me a loan? Just long enough until I can figure something out?”

  “Vivi, I’d like to help, but the board won’t allow it. You have no collateral.”

  “Use my father’s condominium.”

  “It’s a rental.”

  Her chest clenched. A rental?

  “Then my jewelry. It’s here in the safety deposit box.”

  The man flinched.

  Vivi gasped. “He took that, too?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She thought she’d be sick right there on the bank floor. “What’s left?”

  “Nothing, I’m afraid.” He grimaced apologetically.

  She sat very still for what felt like an eternity. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized the voices had faded as the bank closed for the day. Employees would be locking up, going home, their work finished until tomorrow, when they would return, punch their time cards, and count the hours until paychecks arrived.

  “Then I’ll get a job,” she said suddenly, sitting up straight.

  “You? A job?”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, it’s just that . . . I never thought of you working.”

  If he had thought to deter her, his question did the exact opposite.

  “That’s because you don’t really know me. I’ll find work.”

  “Doing what, Vivi?”

  She eyed him hopefully. “You could give me a job.”

  His look of doubt turned to panic. “You don’t have any experience in banking.”

  “My family has kept their money here for years. Surely you can give me something to do. Anything. Just something to carry me through until my father returns and clears up what has to be a mistake.”

  “Vivienne, the truth is I’ve been covering your father’s overdrafts for months. And now that he’s withdrawn everything without so much as a word to me, he’s left me with a pile of debt.” He cut himself off. “I’m sorry. As you said, I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding. But I’m really not in a position to give you a job.”

  Mortification mixed with her shock.

  “Vivi, I really am sorry.”

  She stood. For half a second it seemed that her legs wouldn’t hold her. But when Conway hurried around his desk and took her arm, pride surged and she stood on her own. “I’m fine. Not to worry.”

  Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, Vivi made her way back through the bank, stood dazed as the security guard let her out the door, then walked to her car. But when she started the ignition, she noticed the red light flashing on the gas gauge. Suddenly tears burned in her throat.

  She felt as if her back was against the wall and she had nowhere to turn. Her father had taken everything.

  Why would he do it?

  She started to drive, having no idea how far she could get with a red light flashing. A mile? Two? It hardly mattered. Her mind was in shock, her stomach grumbling as she realized she hadn’t had anything to eat all day. Just as her car sputtered its last gasping, no-gas breath, she coasted into the parking lot of a busy Taco Bell.

  Food. And, for the first time in her life, inexpensive food.

  She rummaged through the ashtray in the console for change, just enough for a taco. Then she’d make a plan. She needed to think of a way to make some money to tide her over until her father returned. And he would return, she told herself firmly.

  As she walked toward the entrance, a sign taped to the window snagged her attention.

  Help Wanted Apply Inside

  Vivi felt her heart lurch at the thought that this was something she could do. But then a reflection in the glass caught her eye.

  Slowly she turned around and came face-to-face with the glimmering granite building of MBL Holdings across the street. Max Landry would be inside. Max Landry and the way he made her forget. Max Landry with his not-so-simple touch that had the ability to make reality fade away. His smile that somehow made the world seem more manageable.

  Still numb, she walked across the street. Her throat was tight and her eyes burned when she made it to the smoked-glass doors. But when she pulled, they were locked.

  She stared at the chrome handles, perfect circles with the company logo at the center of each, before she tugged again, hard. The doors rattled, but they wouldn’t give.

  Finally emotion spilled over, tears streaking down her cheeks, her head falling against the glass. Sobs racked her body, overtaking her so completely that she didn’t notice when a door pulled open.

  “Vivienne?”

  With a start, she looked up and saw Max through her tears, his face lined with concern, his stance warriorfierce. As if he had known her forever, he cupped her cheeks with his warm, strong palms and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

  “What’s wrong?” he demanded.

  “You said if I changed my mind, you’d be here,” she said on a whispered breath.

  It didn’t matter that he had been talking about something completely different when he said it. She could feel the heat that flashed through him, followed quickly by a tightly held control.

  “Vivienne, you’re upset. You should go to your fiancé.”

  She tried for flip. She searched for a wry smile. “Guess what,” she managed, before her voice broke. “I don’t have a fiancé anymore.”

  “The engagement is off?”

  “Yes.”

  Then suddenly she was in his arms, as if this was what had been inevitable all along, holding on tight as he pulled her into the building, his mouth finally, and completely, coming down on hers.

  Chapter Six

  Max gave in to the need he felt for this woman in a way that deep down he knew he’d regret. The desire. The loss of control.

  Tangling together, they fell back against the wall. His hands cradled her face to tilt her lips to his. But before he kissed her again, he met her gaze, saw confusion mix with desire in her eyes, reflecting his emotions back to him like a mirror to his soul. She didn’t understand this any more than he did.

  But in that second he didn’t care. He only wanted to press her body to his, discover her contours as he had wanted to since he leaned down and picked up the plastic cup from the floor.

  He had wanted her then, wanted her in a way that surprised him, just as he wanted her now. Consequences be damned.

  His hands trailed back to her shoulders, then down her spine, molding her to him.

  She moan
ed, the vibration sending sensation sizzling through him. She was hot and pliant as she closed her eyes over her confusion, giving in much like he was.

  He kissed her then, his mouth covering hers. Heat flared between them, the heat that was never far away, smoldering, since the day she walked into his office, held in check until he opened the door and found her there.

  He lost himself to the feel of her, the billowing silk of her dress brushing against his forearms where he had rolled up his sleeves at the end of the day. It was that time, those few minutes by himself, when he could let down his guard. No ringing phones. No problems to solve. No brothers or sisters who needed answers from him while he struggled to understand the questions.

  Then Vivienne had appeared. Vivienne, who made him remember. Vivienne, who made him feel young and vulnerable. But he pushed that away.

  Clinging to him, she kissed him back with an innocent wonder that he hadn’t experienced since grade school. But that innocence was combined with a primal yearning.

  The last of his restraint vanished despite the many reasons he didn’t want her there. In that second, better sense was replaced by desire. He didn’t want to talk, or to understand. He brushed his thumb over her lips, touched her body, savored her taste.

  After one long second she melted completely with a groan. He bent down to kiss her again, sucking her lower lip in his mouth, his teeth nipping, before he slid his hands into her perfect hair. Gently he pulled her head back to expose the swan’s arch of her neck. And when she reached up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he felt as if he had been waiting for this forever.

  The intensity grew, his fingers moving along the lines of her body.

  “Vivienne,” he murmured in a ragged voice.

  With infinite care, he kissed her again, the sound of a soft mewling coming from deep within her. Gently, he coaxed her lips apart until their tongues intertwined, the flames between them leaping higher.

  They clung together, before he lifted her up. He clasped her to him, pressing her back against the wall as his lips seared a path down her chin to the pulse in her neck. Her hands knotted in his hair.

  “I knew you’d be hot,” he groaned against her.