Kiss Me After

by Cecilia Gray

  She softened her expression. “Because you don’t know what is best in that regard. What if mother had married a duke instead of you?”

  His face crumbled. “What if she had? What if she had remained comfortable in London instead of following me across the oceans? Maybe she would have been stronger. Maybe she would have been in better health.” He choked as tears and spittle felt from his face. “Maybe she wouldn’t have died.”

  Alice led him to his room before anyone could see him, her heart racing at the revelation. She sat him down on the edge of his bed as he buried his face in his hands. It was a long while before he wrested himself back up and wiped at his face with his sleeves.

  “Is that what you’ve always believed? That you’re responsible for Mother’s death?” she asked quietly.

  “It is a husband’s job to care for his wife and children. A husband’s duty.”

  “That you did. That you’ve done. That you are doing.”

  “I’ve done nothing right. I’ve seen our Sera married into the most respected family in London only to become a widow. I was never able to protect your mother from censure for having married me. I couldn’t even keep her alive.”

  She understood him now as she had not before, and in understanding there was, for the first time, reason. “We’re much the same, you and I. In more ways than I’d realized. I had thought that it was my duty to marry first, to protect my sisters, and that I’d failed them by not doing so. But I see now that I was wrong. I only fail them by not pleading their case, my case, with you now.”

  “We’re alike, are we?” he said with a grumble.

  “In the best and worst ways,” she said. “You’ve been telling us how to live our lives for years. Well, Father, now, for one moment, permit me the disrespect as I’m going to tell you what to do. You are going to honor our mother’s memory the way she would have wanted, by letting us follow our hearts, wherever and to whomever they may take us.”

  He dabbed at the corner of his eyes. “And you believe this is what your mother would have wanted?”

  “I know it is. And you do, too, Father. You’ve just forgotten. You’ve forgotten the greatest truths are the ones that she never told you aloud.”

  * * *

  Whatever concerns Robert might have had for the day eased when he saw Alice and Sera, arms linked, walking across the field to greet their guests. Several dozen townsfolk were listening to the trio of strings and flute who played by the lake—it was the only music at the event, as music and dancing in the ballroom would be inappropriate.

  Sera’s dress hung loose at her waist. Her cheekbones were too pronounced, her shoulders too angular. But she was smiling as Alice twirled her as they once had under the maypole. The sun was setting behind them, and the air crisped with its descent.

  Most of the guests were drinking and clapping or dancing to the music. Savage stood at the outskirts, studying the scene with a furrowed brow upon his enviably perfect forehead. Robert made a casual display of walking toward his friend, trying not to be unsettled by the intense study he gave to the Belle sisters and, if Robert was not mistaken, to Alice, in particular.

  It had been difficult for Robert to stay away at breakfast. His first waking thought had been of Alice, as had the notion of wishing her happy birthday. But he knew that if he monopolized his time with her, then she wouldn’t feel free to pursue Lord Savage.

  Contrary to his baser instincts, he knew Alice needed to be given free rein to indulge her pursuit of the other man. She wasn’t one to be controlled or advised against her best interests. Even he could admit that marrying Lord Savage made sense, but he needed to appeal to more than her head.

  Savage cut his gaze to Robert as he approached. “You’re late.”

  “I’ve arrived exactly when I planned to arrive.” Robert nodded toward the musicians. “Nothing to interest you there.”

  “Rather the opposite. There’s too much of interest.”

  Robert clenched his fists and his jaw. “A remark like that deserves clarification.”

  A mask of merriment lit up his friend’s face. “Wine, women, and song. What’s not of interest? You take me too seriously.”

  “Being a titled lord in need of an heir is serious business.”

  “Yes, it is, isn’t it?” his friend murmured, giving nothing away.

  “Have you been considering marriage?”

  Savage’s gaze swept over the group, but try as he might, Robert couldn’t find even a flicker of interest. “I’m not sure a person in my station has much to consider. I will marry.”

  “Surely the choice of bride merits consideration.”

  “Yes, she does.”

  “A man of your station, already wealthy and titled, could select anyone of his choosing.”

  “And if you could choose for me?”

  Robert considered his next words carefully. “Sera is certainly the most beautiful.”

  “I’ve had my share of beauty.”

  “Dinah is the most intelligent.”

  “My life expectancy might find itself compromised if I were engaged in a daily battle of wits.”

  “Bridget is keen to be the perfect wife.”

  “I’m not so keen on perfection, am I?” Savage spun toward him. “Do you remember our championship game our final year at Cambridge?”

  Robert’s mind spun at the change in subject. Of course he remembered. The day had been unbearably hot, and the opposing team had been made of giants. “With no affection,” he said.

  “I couldn’t understand at first why you kept sending out our power hitters. They caught on to our strategy and adjusted their fielding in moments. It wasn’t until midway through the game that I realized you were using the size of the players and the heat against them, to exhaust them so that in the second half of the match we could play uncontested.”

  “We did win.” It had been satisfying, although the team had almost mutinied.

  “Are you trying to exhaust me now, Robert?” Savage said with a raised eyebrow. “Are we playing a game I hadn’t realized I’d agreed to?”

  Robert slipped his hands into his pockets. The musicians were packing up their strings and bows, and the guests were rising to their feet with applause.

  When he didn’t answer, Savage stepped into his field of vision. “We all have the family we were born to, but this is the family we chose—you, me, Benjamin, and Graham. Even Christian. And now the Belles. We’re family, and you don’t play games with family.”

  “I’m not playing against you,” Robert promised.

  “But you are playing,” he said. “Between you, Miss Belle, and Miss Dinah, I’m surprised you haven’t usurped the aristocracy. What’s your game? To see Alice married to me?”

  Robert guffawed so hard he choked. He bent over to rest his hands on his knees. Savage thumped his back, only making him choke more.

  “Mr. Crawford! Are you all right? Move away, all of you, move away. Mr. Crawford?” He heard Alice’s voice cut a swath through the revelers as she rushed toward him. By the time she reached him, he had controlled his coughs but she would have none of it.

  “Come inside. Quickly.” Her hands moved from his forehead to cheek to neck. She was touching him freely in her attempt to assist him, and he could imagine a life where she was free to touch him anytime.

  “There’s no need,” he said. “I’ve regained my breath.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that.” She turned toward the house and snapped her fingers for him to follow. They walked through the main ballroom, past another dozen guests who were taking sips of wine, to the kitchen.

  His breath caught, remembering their kiss of last year, but it seemed to be the last thing on her mind as she rifled through the cupboards, boiled some water, and brought him a foul-smelling cup of tea.

  “Drink.”

  He began to protest but thought better of it and gulped the bitter brew in one swallow.

  “I know it’s foul.”

  “Nothing some
cake couldn’t solve. But it’s early for cake, isn’t it?”

  Her eyes darkened, and he wondered if she was remembering last year, too. He thought of little else, but he’d been sober. Sometimes he wondered if she even remembered it—the best parts of it, that was.

  “We should get back,” she said.

  “I have your birthday gift.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a blue floral pin, the same shade as the ribbon he still carried with him. “I know you’ve been tired of black.”

  She plucked it from his fingers, managing not to touch his hand, and pinned it on her collar. Her finger ran along the petals of each flower. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It pales on comparison to its wearer.”

  Her hand trembled as she returned it to her side. “Thank you.”

  “I’m afraid I have to return home.” For all the previous birthday celebrations he had stayed at Woodbury and had easily been able to access the kitchen at midnight for Alice’s ritual. But this year he wouldn’t be able to. “I hate the idea of your eating cake alone this year.”

  She took a tremulous breath. “I’m not alone. I have my father. And I have my sisters, and—”

  He interrupted her before she could say the next name, before she could say Savage, if that’s what she intended. “Yes, and they have you,” he said fiercely. Anyone who was lucky enough to have Alice’s love had a fierce support system in her. How he wanted to be counted as one of those people. She would slay for the ones she loved. Savage would never appreciate that about her. He would take liberties so easily, so carelessly. He wouldn’t understand that Alice wasn’t one to stand by. She would rush the battlefield with him, he’d always known that.

  Oh God, or had he?

  Robert clapped his hands over his head.

  He was an idiot. The worst of idiots.

  “Is something the matter?” she asked.

  He’d been going about his wooing of Alice all wrong. Robert had made Alice the conquest and Savage his ally. “I’ve made a mistake,” he said. “I must beg your pardon.”

  “What is the matter?” Wariness stole into her features. She must know, she must sense, that the time for polite banter had long gone. He was a man intent on having his way.

  “There is something I want, and I relied on the wrong person to help me.”

  “Are you deliberately obscuring your meaning?”

  He smiled, charmed by the notion of spending his entire life bantering with her. “Will you forgive me?”

  “Me? Forgive you? Forgive you for what?”

  He stepped closer and captured her hands. She stared at them as if seeing them for the first time. “I had thought to win your hand by strategy, by warfare. I had thought to trick my way into your heart as if you were a queen on a chessboard that I was trying to capture.”

  She shook her head. “I’m afraid I’ve no talent for chess.”

  “Don’t you understand? You are the queen. You are the strongest piece on the board. The greatest weapon in my arsenal. I should have known and I should have trusted you. I should have come to you first, as I come to you now.” He stepped closer and cradled her head as she looked up at him with wide eyes. “You are my ally, Alice. I love you, and I know you love me. I had thought to use subterfuge to fight for you but I am not the one with the fight. I’m here, Alice. Asking you to fight for me.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Say something,” he begged, palming her cheek. “Have I misjudged your affections?”

  “No,” she said. “No, not at all, of course—”

  His hand moved to the back of her head, and his lips slanted hungrily on hers, cutting off her words. He felt her fists tighten into his shirt but then she pushed him away.

  “No, this is all wrong,” she said.

  He groaned and nodded, resting his forehead against hers. “You’re right. We should wait until a more appropriate period of time has passed. But then, God, Alice—”

  She shook her head, laughing.

  Laughing?

  He pulled back. “Now I am the one who is confused.”

  “You have just declared yourself and made a grand gesture for my affections.”

  “Correct, and my confusion stands.”

  She sighed. “I was to be the one to make the grand gesture. I had my own plan to declare myself first.”

  He blinked, not sure he’d understood her words for her tone was needling. “So…you are upset—”

  “But I am not upset.”

  “Distressed?”

  “Not quite.”

  “Wounded?”

  “Hmm.”

  “You have feelings of a particular nature.”

  “Yes.”

  “Excellent, onward,” he said, his blood pumping fire. She had feelings.

  She sighed, but there was a smile to her lips. “It is most vexing when one has decided to play the heroine only to find herself trumped by the hero.”

  Her stared down at him, his magnificent Alice, and it took every ounce of willpower not to laugh and kiss her and spin her in his arms. “What kind of gentlemen would I be to deny my lady her fairest wish when I am her eternal servant?”

  “Not a very good one,” she said.

  “Ah, then by all means.” He took another step back, knowing it would be the last one, and that every step from here onward would be towards her. “Let your wooing of me progress.”

  Epilogue

  August 4, 1820

  London, England

  Anticipation sharpened his senses and set his nerves on fire. He’d sent a hired carriage, insistent they meet in person. He’d convinced her by saying it was a matter of the Crown. And it was.

  He met her carriage in the street. The driver had been instructed not to stop, so he swung open the door and stepped inside in a single, smooth move.

  She did not gasp or act surprised. It was not like her to do so. He appreciated that about her.

  “Your missive indicated you have news?”

  “Yes,” she said. “Another Belle is engaged, although there will be no official announcement for some time to honor the mourning period.”

  “That makes three,” he said.

  “Yes, for one Belle to become engaged so shortly after the tragedy was forgiven. For the second, eyes were raised. A third would have meant scandal.”

  “Both parties are quite attached?” he asked. It wouldn’t be the first time an unspoken engagement was broken.

  “Quite,” she said. “So you are almost successful.”

  “Almost, but not quite.”

  He’d been engaged to ensure every last Belle married into British bloodlines, and he was not one to turn down an order from his king. There had been whispers and concerns that Dominic Belle was sympathetic to the colonies, especially after he’d set up port in Boston. The idea of his one of his daughters marrying an American… Well, it wouldn’t do. England needed the Belle fortune and fleet squarely in British hands, where they belonged.

  “Who do you think will be the last?” she asked.

  He laughed. “You know better than I do.”

  * * *

  What incident made Benjamin late for Sera’s wedding?

  Why was Bridget ill at the 1818 Belle birthday crush?

  Find out in Kiss Me Sweetly.

  Why is Dinah so out of sorts at the 1819 Belle birthday crush?

  Who really trashed the gardener’s cottage and why?

  Find out in Kiss Me Darkly.

  Who is Sera in love with?

  Find out in Kiss Me Softly.

  * * *

  The complete Kiss A Belle series is available to order now! While each book can be enjoyed as a standalone, you may want to read them all. Books 1–3 occur concurrently and can be read in any order; Books 4 and 5 follow respectively.

  Kiss Me After

  Kiss Me Darkly

  Kiss Me Sweetly

  Kiss Me Softly

  Kiss Me Again

  Characters you meet in Ki
ss A Belle are also featured in The Gentlemen Next Door. Don’t miss it, because sometimes a lady in need of love need look no further than next door. Each book can be enjoyed as a standalone, but if you love one, then you’ll probably love the entire series.

  A Delightful Arrangement

  An Illicit Engagement

  A Dangerous Expectation

  A Flirtatious Rendezvous

  Cecilia’s Booklist

  HISTORICAL ROMANCE

  The Gentlemen Next Door

  A lady in need of love need look no further than next door

  The Complete Series

  A Delightful Arrangement

  An Illicit Engagement

  A Dangerous Expectation

  A Flirtatious Rendezvous

  Kiss A Belle

  Everyone has kissed someone, but who has kissed whom?

  The Complete Series

  Kiss Me After

  Kiss Me Darkly

  Kiss Me Sweetly

  Kiss Me Softly

  Kiss Me Again

  CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

  Small Town Jane

  Coming in 2017!

  Impulses (Emma—Christmas)

  Illusions (Northanger Abbey—Easter)

  Insensibilities (Sense and Sensibility—Halloween)

  Impressions (Pride and Prejudice—Valentine’s Day)

  Innuendos (Mansfield Park—Summer)

  Intimacies (Persuasion—Thanksgiving)

  YOUNG ADULT CONTEMPORARY

  The Jane Austen Academy

  “A unique twist on a classic.” —Kirkus Reviews, starred

  Romantic Times Book Review Magazine “What’s Hot” Pick!

  Fall For You (Lizzie—Pride and Prejudice)

  So Into You (Ellie—Sense and Sensibility)

  When I’m With You (Kat—Northanger Abbey)

  Suddenly You (Fanny—Mansfield Park)

  Only With You (Emma—Emma)

  Always You (Anne—Persuasion)

  Then Came You (Wickham—coming soon!)

  Drawn

  Drawn

  Traced (coming soon!)

  About Cecilia

  Cecilia Gray writes sweet stories about smart girls and nice guys.

  When she isn’t writing, she’s into books, movies, TV, food, and hanging out with her friends. Subscribe to her newsletter for updates on new releases, sneak peeks, and giveaways.