You

by Nella Tyler

  “I’ve thought about it,” she admitted. “I really do like to be around kids. There was a time—years ago, mind you—when I did the girly thing. You know: planning the dream wedding and thinking about how many kids I wanted to have.” She shrugged. “If I found someone…and if I could make it work with my job…I wouldn’t be against it.”

  “If you found someone?”

  Mackenzie blushed. “Someone I thought I’d want to spend the rest of my life with, obviously. I wouldn’t want to have kids with someone otherwise. And if I was by myself…” she shrugged again. “I have a lot of respect for you, raising Landon on your own. I’ve seen how hard it is to be a single parent, and I don’t know if I’d be a good parent on my own.”

  “I think you’d be fine,” I told her, thinking of how she talked to the kids—Landon, and the other patients she dealt with. “You’re really good with Landon. He minds you better than his teachers.” Mackenzie laughed.

  “Well I’m also dealing with him while he’s being active, which seems to be his preferred mode,” she pointed out. “For active boys like Landon it’s easier to get through their skulls when they’re moving around.”

  “Maybe I should use that,” I said, chuckling. “Sometimes it’s hard to get through to him.”

  “Kids always get toughest with their parents,” Mackenzie said. “They have to test the boundaries, they have to figure out what they can get away with, learn right from wrong. I’m practically a stranger to Landon.”

  “Well, if we keep dating, that won’t last for long,” I pointed out. “I would—I hope you’re okay with this—expect for you and Landon to spend some time together. Do you think that would risk your professional interactions with him?”

  “I don’t think so,” Mackenzie said. “Do you mind if we sit down for a minute? I’m getting a bit tired.”

  “Sure!” We cut across the ice to the benches set up along the perimeter. I gestured for Mack to sit down first and then dropped to the bench next to her, taking a quick, deep breath. “So you planned your dream wedding. What did it look like?” Mackenzie giggled.

  “Oh—typical teenage, early-adult stuff,” she said, shaking her head. “Perfect white dress, off the shoulder, with a train and all of it. Beautiful flowers, handsome groom waiting for me at the end of the aisle. The honeymoon down somewhere tropical.” Mack shook her head. “Of course, that’s if you never have to worry about money, if it’s just nothing to you.”

  “That sounds pretty good, now that you describe it,” I told her. “What about your reception? Did you want a band or a DJ?”

  “Oh—band, totally. And for the first dance it’d be some croony, sweet love song, and we’d make everyone in the room envy our great and lasting love.” Mackenzie laughed again. “I’ve come to the conclusion now though that it’s probably never going to happen.”

  “Why not?” I gave her hand a quick squeeze, thinking about Landon—about his need for a mother figure, about the bet we’d made, and how much I liked Mackenzie; just liked her, above and beyond the great sex we’d had. If she’d decided that she never wanted to get married, I’d definitely have to convince myself to move on sooner or later; I couldn’t afford to get Landon’s hopes up and then disappoint him.

  “I’ve been a bridesmaid too many times,” Mackenzie said, giving me a slightly sad little smile. “There’s this old saying: ‘Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride’.”

  “That’s just superstition though,” I pointed out. “It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been a bridesmaid. Not really.”

  “I’ve been a bridesmaid about six times,” Mackenzie said with a sigh. “I’m not against the idea of getting married someday, but between the long hours I work and my lack of any real social life…” she shrugged, grinning again. “Why the sudden interest in my attitudes towards marriage?”

  “Well,” I said, glancing out over the ice for a moment before I turned my attention back onto her. “I’m a single dad, you know? I’m not saying I want to get married next week or anything—and I want us to take it however slow you need, and just let the relationship go however it’s going to go. But eventually I do want to settle down with someone. Landon needs a real mother figure in his life.” I saw the look of surprise on Mackenzie’s face. “I’m not saying that if you’re not ready to get married tomorrow it’s not going to work. I want to do things right. But it is something I have to think about.”

  “You can’t just date around with a son to raise,” Mackenzie said, nodding slowly. “You want someone you can have a long-term relationship with, someone who can kind of…not help you—you don’t need help—with Landon, but who can be sort of… there for him.”

  “Right,” I agreed.

  “It makes sense,” Mackenzie said quickly. She licked her lips and I wanted more than anything to kiss her; I gave in to the impulse. I let my hands fall to her waist, and even with the thick, heavy clothes she had on it was so easy to remember what Mackenzie had been like in bed, how hot she’d looked. I made myself pull back after a moment.

  “I wish I could ask you to come home with me,” I told her lowly.

  “You can’t?” Mackenzie met my gaze and I smiled sadly.

  “Landon’s with his aunt; I can’t leave him there all night. If I could…” I kissed her briefly again. “But next time, I am going to plan ahead enough to make sure I can spend the whole night with you—and if possible the entire next day.” I gave her hand a squeeze and took a deep breath, trying to push down the raging hormones in my body. “Let’s get back on the ice and cool down.”

  Chapter Nine - Mackenzie

  Even though I would never have expected it when I first agreed to go on a date with Patrick, I found myself getting giddier and giddier, looking forward to our next night out together more and more. I’d hoped that our third date together would end the same way our second date had; but I could understand that he needed to put Landon first.

  It was a slow day in the office—a lot of the other parents had heard about the incident with Amie and some of them had postponed or canceled their appointments. Patrick had had to cancel Landon’s appointment, and while I’d been disappointed, I knew that it wasn’t because of the attack; he’d mentioned that Landon had a last-minute event to get to at school, some kind of end-of-semester award ceremony that he’d been invited to.

  I looked around and made sure that no one was watching me too intently. Anyone who wasn’t working with a patient or talking to a parent was working on paperwork, just like I was pretending to do. I reached into my desk drawer and took out my phone; almost as soon as Patrick had called the office to cancel Landon’s appointment, he’d texted me to ask if I wanted to plan our next date.

  Somehow—I wasn’t sure how—word about my dates with Patrick had gotten out. I thought maybe one of the other therapists had seen me with him, or something like that. Amie had made a brief visit to the office and had crowed that she just knew that I would end up falling for Patrick. So far no one was giving me a huge amount of grief about it, but when Patrick’s cancelation had come in, Alice at the front desk had given me a little grin and commented that she rather thought I’d have already known that the man had to cancel.

  How does a trip to the ballet sound? I hear there’s a great production of The Nutcracker going on. I grinned to myself at the text message from Patrick. We had never quite made up the date to go see a play; a ballet was a good substitute for that. But I’d loved the ice-skating so much—I wouldn’t have minded another casual date like that.

  Maybe we could do that, I wrote back. I love that ballet. But I loved ice-skating too. And didn’t you tell me you wanted to bring Landon on a date with me sometime? I thought to myself that saying something like that was stupid; if Landon came with us I doubted there’d be sex at the end of the night. But I wanted to keep my options as open as possible until Patrick made a definitive offer of a date.

  Maybe a little closer to Christmas. Or after? We could go on a picnic, if you ca
n get free this weekend. I giggled to myself, covering my mouth with my hand to keep from being loud enough for someone to hear me. I thought about the idea of a picnic in the middle of winter; it would be pretty, but it could easily get really cold, and very wet.

  I’d hope you could keep me warm, I wrote back. It’s supposed to stay pretty cold the next few days. I put my phone in my lap and turned my attention onto my computer as the office manager came through, looking to make sure that everyone was working. Even if we were slow, I knew she would point out that there was always the backlog of patient files to attend to. Harriet walked past and I breathed a sigh of relief. I almost yelped when I felt the phone vibrate in my lap, startling me in spite of the fact that I’d been expecting some kind of answer.

  Oh, I could do a great job of keeping you warm, Patrick had texted back. My phone vibrated again and I saw he’d sent me a winking emoji.

  Really? How would you do that? I licked my lips, feeling my face warming up a little bit at the hint of something sexual. I typed out a few comments on one of the files up on my screen while I waited for the response.

  Well they do say that the best way to stay warm is to share body heat…I think you’re pretty good at generating heat yourself. I bit back a giggle.

  Sharing body heat? Doesn’t that normally work better with skin contact? My heart beat faster in my chest, and I felt warm and tingly all over. I had never—ever—done anything like this while I was at work. Even when I’d been dating in college, I’d kept my phone turned off during my work hours, and I never would have even considered drifting into sexy territory while I was on the clock.

  Skin contact! Mm. Well, if I remember right, you are really warm on the inside…almost too hot. I could definitely share that body heat. I felt my cheeks getting hotter, my whole body starting to warm up with a mixture of how turned on I was at the sensual words and how worried I suddenly was that someone would catch on to what I was doing. I knew that some of my coworkers texted with their boyfriends and girlfriends—and that some of them even sexted their partners on a regular basis. But I’d always stuck with being professional; I didn’t want to screw up that reputation.

  You’re pretty hot too, I wrote back. Maybe with the right place and the right situation, we’d be able to melt some snow. I licked my lips, picturing it in my mind. It would be horrifically impractical…no amount of shared body heat would keep us from getting frostbite if we got naked in the snow together. But in my mind I pictured us having sex out in a field somewhere, far away from everyone, touching each other everywhere. The snow would be cold against us—even with a blanket it would be freezing—but maybe if we had a few blankets, some of them wrapped around us and a couple underneath us, it would be fun. I shook my head; that was a crazy idea.

  That’s a great picture! I grinned to myself at Patrick’s message. As long as we could keep moving, I think we’d be okay. Sweaty, even. My throat was dry, my mouth was watering—for a second I wanted nothing more than a thermos of soup, a bunch of blankets, and some fun in the snow with Patrick without having to worry about him needing to pick up Landon. I pressed my lips together and squirmed in my seat; just thinking about having sex with Patrick again—in my apartment, his place, or even out in the snow somewhere—was enough to turn me on so much I couldn’t quite get comfortable.

  I don’t know if it would work out in real life, I pointed out. But I do want to see you again. I’ve been missing you and Landon this afternoon. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

  Well maybe if we can’t make it out to a nice, secluded field somewhere, we could just spend the whole day inside, Patrick sent back to me. I swallowed against the tight feeling in my throat, looking up in time to see Harriet coming back through the office to check on something at the front desk. I put my phone aside, suppressing the urge to grab it when I felt it vibrate in my lap again, pretending to be oh-so focused on the file up on my computer. As soon as Harriet was through, I checked my phone again.

  It’d be much easier to keep you warm if I could keep you in bed. Get a fire going in the fireplace, maybe make some hot chocolate for you…and keep our skin pressed together as much as possible. That picture was even better than the first one; I could imagine just how nice it would be to spend a whole day in bed with Patrick. But a nagging voice in my head pointed out that we hadn’t really been dating long enough for that yet—exciting as it sounded to me.

  “Ooh, look at this girl blushing,” Blair said, coming to a stop at my desk. Her patient and the little girl’s parent went on into the waiting room to leave the office. I rolled my eyes at Blair, putting the phone aside face down. “You chatting up your boyfriend?”

  I shrugged, moving my phone away from where Blair could grab for it. “Yes, I’m texting Patrick,” I said, glancing to make sure that Harriet wasn’t about to come down on us for hanging out and socializing instead of working. “He’s not my boyfriend though. Not really.”

  “Are you sure about that?” Blair threw herself into the chair next to my desk with her long legs out in front of her. “I mean, how many dates have you gone on?”

  “Just three,” I said, shrugging again. “We got coffee, went to dinner and a movie, and went ice-skating. It’s nothing serious.”

  “Well, if you went on three dates with the guy, it’s not like it’s not serious,” Blair countered. “At three dates you at least know that you get along together a little bit. You’re maybe two dates at most from actually being boyfriend and girlfriend.” I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

  “He’s a single father,” I pointed out. “Things go a lot slower with someone who’s got a kid. He’s got to make sure that he feels comfortable with me as an influence on Landon before we can really be serious.”

  “He seems like a decent dad,” Blair agreed. “I’ve seen him in the office a few times. He’s pretty hot.”

  “He’s even hotter outside of the office,” I said quietly, giving her a little grin.

  “I’ll just bet he is!” Blair looked around to make sure we weren’t being eavesdropped on. “Isn’t it weird to see him in the office after you’ve had a date with him, though?” I shook my head slowly.

  “Not really,” I said, thinking. “I mean, he’s always professional when he comes in here. He did ask me out on the second date after a session, but he wasn’t like, leering at me or anything.”

  “How long is the kid in treatment for?” I shrugged.

  “He’s making good progress—another good sign: Patrick works with Landon in between sessions to make sure he’s getting up to speed.” Blair nodded her approval. I missed Amie—and no one in the office could replace her—but if I were going to confide in anyone else while Amie was away on medical leave, it would be Blair. At least with her I could count on a little privacy.

  “A good parent is a decent date,” Blair agreed. “Do you think it’s going anywhere?” I shrugged.

  “I don’t really know,” I admitted. “I like spending time with him, he likes spending time with me…but everything is still pretty up in the air.” I thought about it for a moment or two longer and smiled to myself slowly. “I don’t know if he’s serious about me, but I think—if things keep going the way that they have been—that it could get more serious. I think I’d like it if it did.”

  “That’s all you need to know,” Blair said, nodding. “If it tips the scales at all, I think you two look absolutely adorable together.”

  I laughed.

  “That’s all I’m interested in,” I said jokingly. I might not have been interested in how cute I looked with Patrick, but it definitely helped to have someone in the office tell me she liked the idea of me dating Patrick.

  Chapter Ten - Patrick

  I had hated to cancel Landon’s PT appointment , but it had given me an even bigger urge to see Mackenzie again. I hadn’t even been able to stay away long enough to wait for another date; I’d stopped by at her apartment after Landon’s school award ceremony ended, with some takeout and a bottle of
wine, and we’d spent a few hours together just talking and cuddling on the couch, watching a movie while my sister took Landon Christmas shopping. But even with that little bit of heaven for a few hours, I wanted more. I’d racked my mind for different date options that would be fun and interesting and not cliché. We’d settled on a make-your-own pottery date at a little shop at the outskirts of the city that served beer and wine.

  I’d picked her up from her apartment and we’d talked about Amie’s recovery and Landon’s progress. I could tell that the attack had shaken her up a lot more than Mack wanted to admit. “Something like this should at least be fun,” I’d said when we walked up to the shop entrance from the parking spot I finally managed to find after circling the block a few times. “But I have to warn you, I am terrible at pottery.”

  “I’m not that much better,” Mackenzie had admitted with a laugh. “So let’s focus on enjoying some decent wine and having fun.”

  The pottery had gone better than I would have expected. I made a silly little pot while Mackenzie worked on a vase. “You know what we could do sometime? I mean—if this keeps going as well as it has been?” I had almost bent the rim on my pot when I looked up to meet Mackenzie’s gaze.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “We could go to a concert, maybe,” Mackenzie suggested. “I haven’t gone to one in a while.”

  “Who would you want to see?” She shrugged in answer to my question.

  “Anyone, really. I like a lot of different kinds of music. And anyway, going to a concert—a good concert—is a good time even if you’ve never heard of the band onstage before.”

  We finished off our wine and our pottery and turned it into one of the clerks that ran the shop to fire it in the kiln. I told Mackenzie that I’d come back the next day—the shop was closer to my place than it was to hers—to pick up our pieces, assuming they didn’t crack or break in the kiln.