Copping an Attitude

by Morticia Knight

  “Yeah. You’re right.”

  He didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

  * * * *

  As exhausted as he was, he had to stop by the hospital and check on Slade. He’d promised him. When he got there, he was relieved that there was police protection outside Slade’s room. He spotted Beau over by the nurse’s station, talking quietly on his cell. Parker waited until he was finished before approaching him. Beau’s surprise was obvious when his gaze fell on Parker.

  “Parker? Do you have additional info for me?”

  This could be awkward.

  “Hey, Beau. No, I wish I did.” He ran his hand across the top of his head, looking around to make sure no other detectives or cops were nearby. Another awful thought occurred to him. “Jesus, are you here because he’s…?”

  “Oh, no. No. He should be okay eventually. It’s a good thing you guys got there when you did, or else… Well, anyway, there was another one of Julio’s workers killed tonight. A woman.”

  “Jesus. Did she have really short hair that was a bright blue?”

  “No, long and blonde.” Beau frowned. “That was specific. You know something you’re not telling me?”

  “Oh. Uh, I don’t think it’s relevant. I just happened to see her come by to pick up Slade when I was…”

  Jesus. This keeps sounding worse and worse.

  Beau raised his eyebrows. “When you were what?”

  “Um…” Parker glanced around to check again that they were alone. When he looked back at Beau, his stare was boring into Parker. “Shit.”

  “Let’s go grab a coffee downstairs in the cafeteria. We should have plenty of privacy there.”

  Parker couldn’t help but take a peek in the direction of Slade’s room. That was the reason he’d stopped by the hospital.

  “I’d like to stop in and see him first real quick.” He met Beau’s eyes. “I promised him.”

  Instead of the reproach he’d been expecting, Beau’s expression softened.

  “He’s doped up on painkillers right now. He should be out for a while. But we shouldn’t be long. You can go sit with him then.”

  Parker nodded, swallowing hard.

  After they took the elevator downstairs and got what turned out to be a surprisingly good cup of coffee, Beau indicated to a chair at one of the small tables. They both took their seats and Parker waited for Beau to lay into him about Slade. He’d certainly already gotten it from all sides.

  “Before I ask you any more questions about what you know in regards to Julio’s people, I gotta talk to you about something else. This is all off the record from one man to another. I’ve seen kids like Slade more than I would have cared to in the course of my job. A lot of them end up dead. Sometimes it’s drugs, sometimes it’s a bad trick, sometimes it’s the pimp. Regardless, a lot of them might not have ended up where they are if their families hadn’t rejected them or thrown them out because they’re gay. That’s what happened to my brother.”

  Parker was startled. Not that he and Beau hung out all that much, but in the years they’d known one another, he’d never once mentioned a brother. When he really thought about it, he couldn’t remember him saying much of anything about his family at all.

  “Your brother?”

  “Yeah.” Beau lowered his eyes and fiddled with the paper handle of the disposable coffee cup. “I went into the service to get away from them when I was eighteen. All I could think about when I was a teenager was getting the hell out of there. I couldn’t fucking wait. Unfortunately, all I was really thinking about was me. Nicholas was twelve when I left. He was much more outspoken than I was, much more fun loving.” Beau sipped his drink then met Parker’s gaze again. “I came to visit at Christmas when Nicholas would’ve been fifteen. He’d already been gone for about three months by then. They had no idea where he’d gone and they said it was for the best, that he was ‘one of those’.”

  “Oh Jesus, Beau. That’s awful. But he was a minor. Couldn’t they have gotten in trouble for that?”

  “Oh sure. But they didn’t kick him out, he ran away because of how vicious I’m sure they’d been to him. They’d done their duty by reporting him as a runaway, but that was a joke. There’re so many runaways each year, the police don’t have the resources to hunt them all down—you know all about that.”

  Parker grimaced. He did know.

  “They never put any effort into helping him. When I told them I was going to search for him they said he wasn’t worth my time or effort, that it was better for the family if he wasn’t around anymore. That was when I told them that I was ‘one of them’ too and that they could go fuck themselves. I haven’t seen or spoken to them since.” He chuckled with no humor. “And they haven’t put any more effort into finding me than they did Nicholas.”

  “So what happened to him?”

  Beau’s forehead wrinkled and he dropped his gaze again. “He was killed on the streets. Another homeless guy attacked him over a twenty-dollar bill that he claimed was his.” Beau pressed his lips together then wiped his hand across his mouth. After a moment, he sat back then looked up at Parker. “If you’re interested in helping Slade at all, I’ll do whatever I can to support that, other than getting directly involved. I only ask that you take his fragile emotional state into mind. Don’t give him hope where there is none. Give him whatever you’re capable of giving. I’ll always regret leaving Nicholas behind.”

  Beau’s story crushed Parker. “Of course, Beau. I’ll do whatever I can.”

  “Okay, that’s all I needed to hear. Now. About the girl with the short blue hair?”

  * * * *

  He’d never been a drug user, but, man, whatever was going on with him had to be some heavy shit. He was in his body but the edges of his skin seemed fluid. There was also the sensation that he was lounging on a billowy cloud. Trying to open his eyes, he was met with resistance from his right one. He could barely move it at all. It was like trying to open a door that had a bunch of clothes blocking it on the other side. His mom used to get so mad at him when he wouldn’t pick up after himself and she could barely get into his room.

  At the thought of his mom he tensed up and realized that there were things hooked into his arms and hand. He heard beeps and a light snore. When he turned his head he spotted someone in a chair near…

  I’m in a hospital bed.

  On a loud wail he recalled bits of what had happened to him. He could still feel their blows raining down on his body—over and over until each harsh punch or kick melded with the other, the agony combining into one large hurt.

  “Slade! Shh, wake up, honey, it’s Parker. You’re safe, hold still. You’ll hurt yourself more.”

  It can’t be him. Why is he here?

  Parker hovered over him, his brow creased with worry. Words drifted back to him from right after the attack.

  ‘I’ll see you later at the hospital… Promise you’ll fight to hang on.’

  “Sir, please.”

  Parker’s handsome face was replaced by an older woman with hair that was so pale he couldn’t tell in the dim lighting if it was blonde or gray. She fiddled with some tubes that extended from his limbs to an IV pole that held a couple of different plastic bags of liquid. Another cord ran to the beeping machine. He tried to get his mind to come up with the word for it.

  Monitor.

  He hoped it was the drugs he was obviously filled with that were making it hard to think and not the beating that had turned his head to mush. Once she’d finished fussing over him, he heard her address Parker.

  “The doctor said it was okay for you to stay until he woke up, but he can’t handle too much right now. You’ve got ten minutes, understand?”

  “I understand.”

  Slade watched in disbelief as Parker dragged the chair over—which he’d obviously been sleeping in—until it was right next to him. Another memory drifted back to him.

  I wonder if he’ll hold my hand again?

  “Are you in any pain? Bec
ause they gave you this button here…”

  Parker gently cradled his hand then placed a small plastic object in it—yet another thing connected to some type of cord. Slade watched as Parker positioned it as if to make it as easy as possible for Slade to operate.

  “If the pain becomes too difficult for you to tolerate, press this red part and it’ll give you another dose.”

  Parker seemed nervous, his gaze flitting around the room. Finally he settled his eyes back on Slade, but he pulled away. Parker clasped his fingers together and placed his hands in his lap. Slade watched them as if he were hypnotized. In his imagination they were strong yet gentle. They would never strike him or try to intentionally hurt him. They would comfort and cherish him. He raised his chin to see Parker staring intently at him.

  “Could you…?”

  He choked the last word out and couldn’t say any more. Parker jumped to his feet then grabbed a large plastic cup with a straw sticking out of the cover over it. He brought it to Slade’s lips.

  “Go easy, honey. Not too fast.”

  Slade took a couple of small swallows. He could track the stream of cold water as it trailed down his throat then landed in his stomach where it seemed to dissipate. Parker eased back into the chair after he’d set the cup down on the stand next to Slade’s bed.

  “Your hand.” Slade had managed to croak it out.

  Parker looked down at the body part in question. “My hand?”

  “You didn’t… Didn’t need to pull it away.”

  He was still too loopy to know whether he’d blushed or if he cared that he’d been so brazen. As it was, he wasn’t even entirely sure that any of it was really happening. Parker leaned closer then gathered Slade’s hand with both of his, wrapping it safely up. Maybe it was the painkillers again, but a surge of emotion rose and he couldn’t stop warm tears from spilling down his cheeks.

  “Oh, shh. Please, honey, don’t cry. It’s okay.”

  Slade remembered more of what Parker had whispered to him after he’d been attacked.

  “You said that before.”

  Parker smiled at him. God, he was one fucking good-looking guy. And a genuinely decent one. Did such a thing even exist? He had to be gay, right? Slade didn’t think most straight dudes would be comfortable holding another guy’s hand, even if they were only being nice.

  “I meant it. Everything’s going to work out. Try not to worry about anything right now.” Parker chuckled. “I know that sounds like a stupid thing to say, and you have no reason to trust anything I tell you, but I promise I’ll be here for you.”

  Slade’s skin was getting sweaty, but he didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to do anything that might encourage Parker into letting go of him again. The drugs had him so fucked up. He wished they weren’t making him so fuzzy so that he could enjoy the moment with Parker more. He did appreciate the way they’d let his guard down, however.

  “Don’t you want to call me honey?”

  Parker’s eyes rounded. “Shit.” He’d muttered it. “Sorry about that. It’s a… My family… We…” He sighed. “I was raised with it as a common term of affection. Everyone in my family uses it, even my dad. I was born in Texas, but we moved here when I was three.”

  Slade wondered if he was supposed to understand why in Parker’s mind being from Texas should explain everything.

  “So… You didn’t really mean anything by it?”

  Parker squeezed him lightly. “I did. But I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable by me saying something too personal.”

  “It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable. It makes me feel really good.”

  God, these drugs. Seriously. Why can’t I stop saying everything that pops into my head?

  Parker gave him a wide smile that showed off his gorgeous straight white teeth. Even though Slade thought he’d probably never get turned on again after all he’d been through, he did love gawking at Parker. A lot.

  “I’m glad, honey, really glad.”

  Slade tried to smile in answer, but it tore at his lip. He winced.

  “Oh no, no. There’re stitches.

  Parker had such a look of concern on his face that it melted Slade’s heart. He’d removed one hand to stroke Slade’s forehead, while still clasping Slade’s other one. He hadn’t the slightest idea as to why Parker was showing such a strong interest in him, but in truth, he didn’t give a fuck as to why. He just hoped it wouldn’t end too soon.

  A dull ache had been forming during the short time they’d been speaking and Slade moaned.

  “Do you need more pain meds? Remember, you control it.”

  He didn’t want them, but he knew he needed them. For the first time since he’d awoken, he was curious about the extent of his injuries. Slade pressed the button and within a few seconds a soothing numbness flowed through him. He was pretty sure he would be okay. He somehow knew Parker wouldn’t lie to him about that. But he still wanted to know.

  “The doctor?”

  Parker nodded. “Good question. I’ll find out for you.”

  He made as if to move away, but Slade wasn’t ready for him to let go yet.

  “Wait. Please stay.”

  Parker settled back in the chair. “Okay, honey. But you heard what the nurse said. I’ll have to leave soon, but I’ll be back every chance I get. Before I go I’ll find out about the doctor for you.”

  Slade exhaled in relief. He was being tended to by Parker and it was an amazing feeling.

  “Mind if I interrupt?”

  Slade turned his head the best he could to see a strange man in the doorway. He was probably about Parker’s age and was very tall. He had reddish brown hair with a beard and mustache and came across very serious, but not unfriendly. Slade wasn’t thrilled that he was intruding on his time with Parker, though.

  “Sure, Beau. Come on in.”

  Slade was relieved that Parker hadn’t pulled away. He noted that the man named Beau had allowed his gaze to flit to his and Parker’s joined hands then dart back to Slade’s face.

  “Hi, Slade. I’m Detective Beau Williams with LVMPD. I was hoping I could speak with you briefly about a couple things. I won’t bother you for long, but there’s an urgency involved. Would that be all right?”

  Slade looked to Parker.

  “It’s up to you, honey.”

  Turning back to Beau, he took a deep breath then replied, “Okay, I’ll do the best I can.”

  “I’ve been investigating some murders linked to Julio Estevez and Alexei Gromov. Are either of those people familiar to you?”

  He had the sensation that his lungs had collapsed, that he could no longer draw any air into them.

  “Slade, honey. Take a breath. You’re safe. No one can hurt you here.”

  One of the monitors made a dinging sound and the next thing he knew, the white-haired nurse was in the room ordering both men out. Slade panicked again.

  Why did I have to do that?

  “Parker!”

  He’d somehow managed to push it out, loud enough so that Parker could hear.

  “I’ll be back before my shift tonight. I promise.”

  Slade watched as Parker disappeared with the closing of his door by the nurse. She fussed over him some more, but he didn’t really pay any attention to anything she did. All he could dwell on was the warmth of Parker’s hand in his. It had been forever since he’d experienced the comfort of such a simple gesture. He mused on the endearment Parker had used on him and how much it had filled his heart.

  Slade was certain that it wasn’t wise to wish for anything more from Parker. Eventually Parker would go away. He would complete whatever it was he was trying to accomplish with Slade then stop coming around. Slade guessed that Parker would be done with him once he was released from the hospital. Parker would set him up in one of those programs he’d told Slade about in front of the motel.

  If Julio doesn’t get to me first.

  He was conflicted about what had gone down. For the first five or ten minutes o
f the date he’d been sure it was Samson’s friend. The guy had definitely been Russian. But when Slade had asked him where the money was, the big tough had looked at him as if he was crazy. He’d laughed, wanting to know if Julio had sent him to negotiate peace. He’d told Slade that a ‘lousy ten grand wouldn’t negotiate breakfast’. It was at that point that Slade had realized something was horribly wrong.

  He’d attempted to jump from the moving car but had been yanked back by his collar. The driver and his supposed date had bantered back and forth in Russian then the next thing he knew, they’d parked. Slade had been dragged kicking and thrashing into the alley. He’d tried to scream, but his date had clamped his hand so tightly over Slade’s face that he’d barely been able to breathe.

  He closed his eyes and swallowed, the fear enveloping him again. Forcing himself to focus on Parker instead, he was able to stem his rising panic. He pictured Parker’s handsome face, his warm smile. He remembered how it felt to have Parker’s hands wrapped protectively around his, the sound of Parker’s voice as it soothed him and Parker calling him ‘honey’.

  Despite telling himself he wouldn’t do it, he imagined one more thing. It hadn’t happened yet, but that didn’t mean that it still couldn’t. He fantasized what it would be like to feel Parker’s soft lips on his. With that picture in his head he drifted back to sleep.

  Chapter Six

  Parker had dropped by to see Slade on his way in to work, but he’d been asleep. He’d scribbled out a quick note for him and had tucked it under his hand as he slept. The last thing he wanted to do was to let Slade down in any way. He had the impression that Slade had been let down too much in his life.

  Shit. I should have left him my cell number.

  Parker frowned at his own stupidity. At the same time, he was really floundering around in regards to his situation with Slade. Especially as he wasn’t even sure what the situation was supposed to be yet. It had helped a lot that Beau had talked to him about it. Even more significant was how Slade had responded to him being there, how he’d asked Parker to hold his hand. Even his slip-up of calling Slade ‘honey’ hadn’t been a bad thing.