Wolf Moon

by A. D. Ryan

  “Merry Christmas Eve!” Colby exclaimed upon seeing me.

  I smiled and returned the sentiment, accepting a mug of cider from Miranda. “Thank you,” I said quietly, sitting on the stool next to Colby and sipping my drink slowly.

  I could feel the mood in the room shift almost immediately, and I knew, without a doubt, that I was the cause of it. They’d picked up on my emotions, despite my best efforts to keep them hidden.

  “What’s wrong?” Colby asked softly.

  I glanced up to find all eyes on me. “Nothing,” I lied. “I’m fine.”

  Roxanne scoffed—not to be rude, but to call my bluff. “Say that once more…with feeling this time.”

  I sighed despondently. “I’m sure it’s just my over-active imagination,” I tried again.

  Miranda’s eyebrows pulled together inquisitively, and Layla leaned forward on the island, curious.

  I held my breath, trying to think of how to word my concerns without sounding like some scared, insecure little girl whose boyfriend was pushing her away. “Nick’s been acting…weird.”

  “Well, that’s not exactly news,” Roxanne quipped, garnering a discerning glare from Miranda. “What? He’s always been a little on edge—even before he returned from Arizona.”

  I shook my head and jumped to her defense. “She’s right. This, though, is different. I just feel like he’s not being himself. He’s grown…distant over the last few days.”

  Miranda offered me a sad smile. “Brooke, honey, you’ve both been a little detached from everything ever since—”

  “We killed Karl,” I finished for her, my tone steady and even as though it was just another day. “I know.” Pausing, I remembered the look in Nick’s eyes every time he looked at me, or how he hadn’t gone out of his way to hold me or touch me in any way. “It feels like I’ve done something to upset him. Like maybe my involvement with what happened to Karl is too much for him.”

  I was met with nothing but radio silence. It was deafening to the point where I swore I heard that high-pitched ringing in my ears.

  Roxanne was the first to speak. “You think he’s upset with you about what happened?”

  I shrugged. “It would explain why he’s barely looked at me or why he rushes from the room with some flimsy excuse whenever we’re together.”

  The four of them offered me looks of sympathy, and I had to turn away as my face flamed. “Stop it,” I commanded weakly, fidgeting with my hands. “I don’t need your pity. I know how stupid it sounds, how meek I must seem.”

  Miranda’s warm hand enclosed over mine as my eyes warmed with tears. “He’s not upset with you.” I looked up, shocked and confused to be hearing this. “He’s upset with himself.”

  “What? You can’t possibly know that.”

  Miranda nodded once. “I can, and do. He killed someone…in front of you.”

  “He’s killed in front of me before,” I explained, remembering the way Samantha Turner’s body turned to ash in that alley back in Scottsdale.

  “A vampire,” Colby pointed out. “Not one of our own.”

  Miranda quickly cut in. “Even if that were relevant,” she said, referring to Colby’s statement, “That’s not the problem.”

  Exasperated, I pulled my hands through my hair. “Then what is?” I was starting to think that they knew something I didn’t. I was just about to ask what it was when a throat cleared from the doorway, startling us all. I turned to find an incredibly forlorn-looking Nick standing in the doorway.

  I slowly turned in my chair and stood. “Nick…”

  He cut me off as he reached for my hand. A warmth spread through me where our skin touched, and for the first time in two weeks, I felt a little comfort seep in. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

  Chapter 28 | uninvited

  I followed Nick outside. We walked through the huge yard, past the snow-covered tennis courts, and toward the gazebo ruins. The smell of burnt cedar still hung in the cool winter air. It reminded me of campfire…until I remembered the true horror of that night.

  “I’m sorry,” Nick finally said, turning to face me. “I never meant for you to think…” He paused, seemingly tongue-tied. “I’m not upset with you.”

  My mouth opened and closed a couple times before I was finally able to speak. “Then what’s wrong?”

  “I killed him.”

  “You’re upset because he’s gone?”

  Nick seemed surprised. “What? Of course not. Karl got exactly what he deserved.”

  Confused, I pressed further. “Then what’s been going on with you?”

  Sighing deeply, Nick looked anywhere but at me. There was still a sadness in his eyes. “I’m ashamed of how rashly I acted, and I can’t bear to see the disappointment in your eyes.”

  “Disappointment?” I whispered. “Nick, no.”

  Nick cut me off. I could feel waves of anger emanating off his body. “I killed him in front of you…after you told me it wasn’t what you wanted.” There was a long stretch of tense silence as he paced in the snow. “You’ve been having such a hard time adjusting to what it is we do—what we are—and then I go and do that?”

  “I’ve seen you kill before,” I gently reminded him, my voice wavering a little.

  Nick scoffed. “A vampire. This was different.” He sounded like Colby, and I struggled to suppress a smirk.

  “How?” I failed to see the difference, and I unexpectedly felt my own inner turmoil continue to wane. “The way I see it, Karl had a choice to respect Pack Law. He broke those rules last month when he attacked me. He was no better than the soulless creatures you’ve been hunting all these years. He was a monster, and he needed to be put down.”

  Nick looked surprised. I waited for the torment to leave his eyes, but it never did, and the distance remained between us. “You say these things, but you don’t really believe them,” he stated. “You didn’t ask for any of this, and I’m so sorry for that. For everything.”

  “He gave you no choice,” I interrupted. “I don’t blame you, and I’m most certainly not disappointed.” I stepped toward him and used a little more force than I expected to coax his eyes to mine. He remained reluctant. “You saved my life…both our lives.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “You told me that this is what we are—what we do. Don’t have an attack of conscience on me now. I need you to help me through this.”

  Nick laughed, but it sounded dark and humorless. Before I could question it, he pressed his lips to my forehead. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against my skin. “If I could take it all back…”

  I pulled back and looked up into his eyes. “But you can’t. This is my life now—all of it. Do I wish I could go back and avoid that night in the park?” I fell silent and thought about my own question for a second before sighing. “If I’m being completely honest with myself, I don’t…” I sighed, conflicted. “I don’t know. I’ve had to give up so much, and it hasn’t been easy.” I shrugged. “But it all led me back to you.”

  His eyes held mine, his stare so intense that I wondered if there was something else that was bothering him, but he smiled and shook it off before taking my hand. “There’s so much more we need to talk about—some things I need to get off my chest—but first, I’d like to give you your present.”

  “My present?” His grin widened, rivaling that of the Cheshire cat, as he pulled me toward the house. “It’s not even Christmas yet.”

  Nick opened the door and instead of taking me to the main sitting room, he grabbed his keys from the top of the cabinet by the front door. “No, but it arrived a day earlier than I expected, and it would be a shame to make you wait until tomorrow.”

  The drive down the road was silent. My curiosity was piqued. I couldn’t think of what Nick might have gotten me, and I definitely tried to figure it out by reading his expression. Sadly, he gave nothing away as he kept his eyes firmly glued to the road. His poker face had improved.

  When the truck started to slow, I noticed a turn off. Nick too
k it, and we drove down a winding road before stopping at a set of gates similar to those at the manor. Nick opened his window and punched in a code. The gates opened and then closed behind us, and we continued down the curved driveway and toward a large house with some of the lights on. It was nowhere near the size of the manor, but it was still larger than most. Unlike the stone and brick structure of the manor, this place was a glorified log cabin, the picturesque mountains its backdrop.

  “Nick,” I whispered as he pulled the truck to a stop. “Where are we? You didn’t buy me a house for Christmas, did you?”

  Nick laughed, opening his door and walking around while I stepped out into the snow. “No. This is Vince and Layla’s new place.”

  He led me to the front door, but stopped before opening it. Curious, I turned to him. “I know you’ve had some shitty luck since coming here”—he turned the knob and swung the door open—“I just hope this brings you a little happiness.”

  I didn’t have much time to react before I heard the scream. It only took a second for me to register it as one of elation and not fear, and it took even less time for me to realize that it was my mother who had thrown her arms around me.

  “M-mom?” I stammered, pulse pounding, ears ringing. Her blonde hair was soft against my cheek and smelled of citrus. I glanced up behind her to find my father standing only a few feet away. His green eyes were glistening, and his smile was wide. Everything about this moment felt like a dream. Was it even really happening?

  Mom released her hold on me, cupping my face in her hands as she looked into my eyes. Her smile was contagious, but it didn’t take long before confusion flashed across her face. She looked somewhat curious about something, and it didn’t take me long to make the connection: my eyes. They looked different since the night I was attacked, and she was noticing.

  Behind me, Nick cleared his throat, and I was happy to break eye contact. “I’m going to go and grab your bags from the truck.”

  Confused, I turned my head, forcing my mother to relinquish her hold on me. “My bags?”

  “I took the liberty of packing you a few things earlier.” He disappeared outside while I said hello to my dad.

  “It’s so good to see you, Brookie,” he said, kissing the top of my head as he hugged me firmly. I didn’t even care that he used the nickname I loathed. I squeezed him a little tighter. “We’ve missed you so much.”

  I tightened my arms around him, curling my fingers into the back of his plaid button-up shirt and inhaling deeply. The sandalwood scent of his regular cologne filled my head with pleasant memories of the past—holidays, working side-by-side on a case before I was promoted. Having them here for the holidays was the best gift Nick could have given me after everything we’d been through. I couldn’t wait to visit with them and tell them as much as I could about my life here. I knew I missed them, but I hadn’t really realized just how much until this moment. It was like a piece of me had been missing this entire time, and now that they were here, everything fell into place. I chose not to focus on the obvious question: what would happen when they went home?

  Nick came back a few minutes later with two huge bags in his hands. He headed up the stairs and disappeared down the hall while I looked around from the main foyer. Mom took my hand and led me to the right where the living room was. The inside of the house gave off the log cabin feel just as much as the outside thanks to the walls, and there was a fire going in the large brick fireplace along the far side of the room. There was a huge Christmas tree in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the view of the mountains was just as picturesque as it was back at the manor. I suddenly found myself a little envious that Vince and Layla would be living here on their own. Could I one day have enough confidence and control in the wolf to live apart from the Pack? Maybe with Nick?

  Mom and I sat on the sleek leather couch while Dad took a seat on the matching arm chair, and I sat there, still in disbelief that this was reality. “When did you guys get in?” I finally asked.

  “This morning,” Dad replied. “Nick picked us up from the airport and brought us right here.”

  This meant that Nick wasn’t really running a perimeter check this morning like I’d thought. Under any other circumstances, I might be upset about being misled, but I found it in myself to make an exception.

  “This place isn’t yours, then?” Mom inquired. “I mean, if Nick brought bags for the both of you…?”

  I nodded. “It belongs to some friends of his…ours,” I quickly amended.

  Mom appeared relieved for a moment, and then her cheeks filled with color. “So, the nursery upstairs shouldn’t concern us?”

  I laughed, and I could feel my own skin warm with embarrassment. “No. It shouldn’t.”

  “It wasn’t that I was snooping,” she added on. “After putting our things in the guest room, I was only looking for the washroom and opened the wrong door.”

  “It’s fine, Mom,” I assured her. “Really. Vince and Layla—our friends—are expecting in a few months. They’re busy over the holidays, and must have given Nick permission to use their new place when he invited you guys to stay with us.”

  Mom laughed lightly. “It worried me a little, is all. I don’t want you to move into anything serious too quickly. Especially after—”

  “I know,” I interrupted her. I knew this conversation had to happen eventually, but I honestly didn’t think it would be within minutes of being reunited. “We haven’t… That is to say… Nick and I aren’t…” My nerves had gotten the best of me, and I continued to stumble and stammer through an explanation. “It’s not serious.”

  “But it’s something?” Dad asked.

  I suddenly felt like I was being interrogated. “I don’t know… I guess it is, yeah. Or maybe it will be.” Sighing, I paused. “It’s early and confusing, but there’s history there, and I’m happy.”

  A smile of understanding slowly spread across Dad’s face. “Then that’s all that matters.”

  Wanting my mother’s acceptance as much as my father’s, I turned to her. She regarded me carefully—almost guarded—before she nodded and offered me a half-smile. “All we’ve ever wanted was your happiness, honey,” she started. “I only worry because I was afraid you’d jump in too fast. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I couldn’t bear to see you go through that again.”

  I instantly knew this might not just be about my moving on so soon after David’s death. She was talking about when Nick left me before and how devastated that had left me.

  “It won’t happen again, Mrs. Leighton,” Nick said from behind us. I admit, I was a little startled, but soon his presence calmed me. He was trying to assuage their concerns as only he could after what he’d done back then. “I was a stupid kid back then who was dealing with the loss of a friend. I handled everything poorly, and if I could take it back, I would.”

  Nick moved into the living room completely, setting down a tray with cups and a tea pot. I smiled at his thoughtfulness. He sat in the chair next to my dad’s and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “I don’t expect your forgiveness or even your trust right away, but I’ll do whatever it takes to earn it back. My feelings for your daughter haven’t changed. There’s still so much to work through, not to mention everything that happened back in Scottsdale before we left.”

  I swallowed thickly, shifting anxiously in my seat as I flashed back to the night David died. But then I remembered everything since—how Nick had mentored me, tried to teach me everything there was to know about this new world, how he took care of me, defended me—and I smiled warmly in his direction. I placed my hand on his forearm to show my support, and he covered it with his other hand. Trying to contain the swoony school-girl enthusiasm that unexpectedly came over me, my gaze flitted from Nick to my mom, and then to my dad. There was no anger in my parents’ expressions, but there were definitely reservations.

  Understandably, given our history.

  The tension in the room cleared, an
d for the first time, my mom offered Nick a smile. It still seemed hesitant, but it was a start.

  Nick clapped his hands together, clearing his throat. “Well, I’ve got a pot of hot water and a selection of hot chocolate and tea if anyone’s in the mood.”

  I opted for a hot chocolate while my parents both asked for tea, and we relaxed in front of the roaring fire and talked about everything that happened over the last few weeks.

  “So,” Dad said after setting his tea on the table next to his chair. “What happened that night we spoke on the phone that caused you to hang up in such a hurry.”

  I dropped my eyes to the steaming hot chocolate in my mug and sighed. I never could lie to him, and I didn’t want to start now. What I could do was withhold a few things without too much trouble. “The, uh, gazebo back at the house caught fire.” I glanced to Nick, who nodded. “Vandals.”

  “Everything was a mess,” Nick said, picking up the explanation. “One of our roommates was out there and got hurt.” I appreciated that he wasn’t trying to steer them too far from what had really been going on around the manor. Depending on how long they were going to be here, they might eventually run into a Pack member or two. It would be easier to keep our stories straight if we didn’t have to completely manufacture one from the ground up.

  “Jesus,” Dad exhaled. “I’m so sorry. I hope everyone’s okay.”

  “She’s fine,” I assured him. “A little smoke inhalation and a few cuts and scrapes.”

  We talked for hours before any of us realized that dinner time had come and gone. I was particularly famished, but because Nick had planned everything within the last couple of days, there wasn’t any food in the fridge yet.

  “You know,” Nick said. “I know of a great little Chinese place in the city that’s open late tonight.” He smiled confidently. “That’s always been a Leighton Family Tradition on Christmas Eve, hasn’t it?”