“Other than the doctor, yes.” Grateful for his consideration, Taura took her bottle of restorative drink from the tray, popped the lid, and took a long drink as she climbed the path to their quarters. “Are we still going fishing after we see her?”
“Do you want to?”
Taura nodded. “I think it might be a good idea. Keep myself occupied.”
“Let’s see how it goes with Dr. Garrison and then decide.”
Taura’s nerves were on edge as she approached the hospital. Jadrian took her hand, bringing her to a halt a few feet short of the door. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave your side. No one’s going to mistreat you, no one’s going to make you stay here. I won’t let them.”
She managed to make herself smile. “Promise?”
“I gave you my word.”
The one story hospital was much smaller than Taura had realized in her fugue state when she’d first arrived. The structure was an interesting hodge podge of materials, mostly prefab style walls and floors but a few sections were wooden, smelling like fresh cut lumber. The gently sloping roof was a high tech gray material that gave evidence of being pieced together from hastily cut, larger sheets, and sealed with watertight resin. Taura hoped the valley wasn’t subject to severe storms because the roof especially appeared improvised. Dr. Garrison’s office was on the opposite end of the building from the room where she’d been housed, which was a relief. Taura had no desire to be anywhere close to the room where she’d been tied down for her own good. The office door was open and the physician rose to greet them as they approached.
“You look more rested,” she said, eyeing Taura with a friendly but professional demeanor. “We’ll forego any tests and rely on my unscientific powers of observation today, ok?”
“The fewer tests, the better.” Taura took the chair the doctor indicated. Jadrian sat beside her and another Badari warrior introduced as Zevan took a protective stance behind the doctor.
“My bodyguard.” Dr. Garrison waved a hand at the stone-faced soldier. “My over protective mate prevailed. But Zevan took an oath not to reveal anything he hears or sees in these sessions. All right?”
Taura glanced at the Badari, who met her eyes and looked away. “No objections. I doubt we’re going to be learning much. My memory is a blank slate. Or a stone wall. I can’t remember anything prior to arriving in the Khagrish cell.”
“Take a deep breath,” Dr. Garrison said mildly. “The best thing to do for your memory right now is not to push it. We’re going to focus on your flashbacks to the Khagrish lab in these sessions and try to help you understand your triggers and learn selected coping mechanisms. The longer term memory will surface when you’re ready.”
“I had an episode this morning,” Taura said. “At the supply depot.”
“I heard.” Dr. Garrison shot a look at Jadrian. “The Badari have an efficient information network, and the pack forgets I can listen in too.”
“But the crux of the attack wasn’t about the lab so much,” Taura said. “I was thinking about what if I had irreversible memory loss and, next thing I knew, Jadrian had me outside and was calming me down.”
“I think you’re in such a state of generalized anxiety right now it’s easy for you to have an anxiety attack, even over something not directly related to your harsh treatment at the hands of the Khagrish.” Dr. Garrison seemed interested but not overly concerned. “Anyway, let’s start.”
The doctor probed for more details about the events of the morning and both Taura and Jadrian answered her questions as best they could. “All right,” Dr. Garrison said finally. “Controlling your breathing is a key, even as the two of you have mentioned, so I encourage you to continue working on the awareness of air moving in and out of your lungs when you feel the panic coming on. It’ll be good if you can get to the point where you can accept a work assignment—I’m told Kelli at the depot already offered to take you on as an assistant, and so did Sandara in the kitchens—but in the meantime try to keep busy and active. Explore the valley, perhaps.”
“We’re going fishing after this,” Jadrian said.
Raising her eyebrows, Megan signaled her approval of the plan with a broad smile. “Another good, contemplative pursuit.”
“Are we done for today then?” Taura wanted to be outside. All her muscles were tense and her head was swimming. Dr. Garrison was easy going today but the stress of discussing her problems felt like a ten ton weight on her shoulders.
“Unfortunately, no. I think it’s much too soon, but Aydarr has insisted you meet someone who says he knows you. Aydarr’s word is law in the valley.” Dr. Garrison glanced at Jadrian. “Walt Ezden. He was in the same lab I was in, and my mate has a high opinion of him. He was quite helpful.”
Astonished at the idea there was a person who might actually recognize her and be able to supply at least a few details to fill in the blanks in her memory, Taura nearly fell off her chair. “Who is he? Where does he think he met me?”
“Let’s go slowly here,” Dr. Garrison said. “First we should see if he actually does recognize you and whether seeing him, and hearing what he has to say refreshes any memories for you.” She rose and went to the door. “If you’ll follow me, I decided the conference room was the best place to have this encounter.”
“Walt is a highly respected member of the community,” Jadrian said. “An excellent soldier, although he never speaks of his background or admits his profession in so many words. His skills in the field tell the tale.”
“What would I have had to do with a soldier?” Taura asked. “The name doesn’t trigger any associations for me.”
The impassive bodyguard followed the doctor while Jadrian and Taura trailed behind. She wrapped her fingers tightly around his. Her gut was tied in knots. “This could be the answer to so many things.”
“I urge caution as well, just like Dr. Garrison did.” He didn’t sound happy to Taura’s ears even though he’d spoken highly of the man a moment earlier.
The physician entered the conference room, which Taura was relieved to see was empty. She was still trying to master her mixed emotions at the idea of meeting a person from her past. Megan sat at the head of the table, and her Badari guard stood behind her chair. She directed Taura and Jadrian to seats facing the door. Taura had barely gotten comfortable when there was a knock and a man walked in.
Holding her breath, Taura assessed him, trying to will herself to remember. Walt was tall, well built, nothing like the sheer size and muscle mass of a Badari, but obviously more fit than most human men. Wearing fatigues, he walked with confidence. His hair was cut short, dark brown. His face wasn’t so much handsome as ruggedly appealing, with a small scar on one cheek. In her hyperaware state, something about his smile seemed off to Taura, and she noticed how intensely he surveyed her with his sharp green eyes. She shrank back in her chair and glanced at Jadrian. His brow furrowed in a frown, but he made the effort to give her a reassuring nod. Clearly, the situation bothered him.
“Taura, it is you—when they told me you’d been found, I was afraid to get my hopes up.” Walt came to the table directly opposite her but didn’t sit. “Ever since we met on Signum Twelve under the harvest moon, we haven’t been apart for more than a day or two—Lords of Space, I’ve missed you. I’ve been so worried.”
“No,” she said, unable to enunciate more than one syllable. Jadrian suppressed a growl from the chair beside her. Swallowing hard, hands locked like claws around the arms of her chair, she objected, “I’ve never seen you before.”
Walt exchanged glances with the doctor. “Honey, you and I have been together for two years. I heard you lost your memory, but surely you must remember us? Facts about our life together?”
“Were you mates?” Jadrian asked, his voice low and hostile.
“You mean married, mated like the doc here and Mateer?” Walt hesitated for a split second, and Taura held her breath. “No. We were in a committed relationship, living together, but we’d never discuss
As he kept talking, adding details, Taura forced herself to look him over again. Something he’d said sparked an echo in her brain, but she was sure she’d never met him before, much less been part of a couple. “No.” Scarcely aware she was doing so, she rose from the chair, shoving it violently against the wall. Hands out in front of her as if to bodily push him away, she shouted, “No, I don’t know you, this is another trick. A mind game—” Hearing her own voice wobble as she grew louder in her denials, she retreated to the corner, feeling safer there. “Stay away from me!”
Jadrian moved to stand in front of her, his broad back blocking her view of the room, his talons and fangs displayed as he faced off with Walt. “Enough of this. She says she doesn’t know you, and I believe her.”
“Why would Walt lie?” Dr. Garrison rose as well, shoving ineffectually at her bodyguard, who prevented her from moving any closer to where Taura crouched. “Be reasonable here, Jadrian.”
He shook his head. “Whether he lies or she truly doesn’t remember a shared past, the Taura here in this room right now is afraid of him, and that’s all I need to know. We’re leaving.” He pointed at Walt with one knife-like black talon. “I suggest you keep your distance for your own health, human, unless or until Taura decides she wants to talk to you. Or you’ll answer to me.” He pivoted to Taura, holding his hand out. “We’re done here.”
“Yes. Yes, we are.” Wiping tears from her cheeks, Taura used to the wall to help her rise from the crouching, self-protective position she’d assumed. She took Jadrian’s hand, barely registering the massive talons, and squeezed hard.
He put his arm around her and moved toward the door, keeping his body protectively placed between her and the human male, as if fearing the newcomer might try to grab her. Hands on his hips, Walt swung to watch them, making another appeal despite Jadrian’s warning. “Taura, you need to talk to me, sweetheart. I can help, I promise. I know you better than anyone else here on this planet.”
Unable to speak as her throat closed up from anxiety, she shook her head vehemently, hiding behind the curtain of her hair as it swung.
“She doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to,” Jadrian said, the growl prominent in his voice. “We’re not the Khagrish, to force a person against their will. You’ve been warned, human.”
Then they were in the hall, heading for the door. Taura concentrated on walking one step after the other, trying to ignore the encroaching dizziness. “I think I’m going to faint.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but Jadrian heard.
Sweeping her into his arms, he cleared the door before the panels had fully opened, forcing them apart with his broad shoulders. Ignoring the gaping bystanders, he set off for their quarters at a brisk pace. “I’m sorry, I had no idea the doctor had such a thing in mind today. You should have been given more time to prepare, to decide if you even wanted to meet him. I’ve told my pack leaders that in the strongest terms in the last few minutes, via our telepathic link. I don’t care what Walt wanted, you’re the priority. My priority.”
“Thank you.” His fierce support for her warmed her heart. “I think I can walk now. Please?” Deep inside she knew tempting as it was to lean on Jadrian, she had to find her own strength and now was a good time to start, when she least wanted to make the effort.
“Of course.” He set her down carefully on the path and steadied her with one giant hand. “He was lying.”
“How do you know?”
“Well, I should say almost all of it was a lie. Certainly you and he weren’t what he claimed.” Jadrian tapped his nose. “Enhanced sense of smell. We Badari can tell when a human is lying. You told the truth as far as you know it but it was as if he had a small factual component in his words, cloaked in lies and fabrications. Confusing.”
“I’m positive I haven’t seen him before.” Taura shook her head decisively. “Something he said struck a chord with me—the name of the planet maybe? But, even so, I don’t know him.”
“What puzzles me is why he’d lie about this. Up until this afternoon I had a high opinion of Walt. He’s been an exceptional soldier, supportive of the Badari, helpful to Megan when they were imprisoned, as she said. Now I’ve lost all respect for him, and my pack leaders will be watchful. I should tell you although Aydarr and Mateer believe me, they’re not as inclined to treat him as a liar. But no one will force you to meet with him against your will.”
“Despite what he said about us being a couple, I didn’t remember or sense any physical attraction or spark between us,” Taura said, trying to analyze the brief encounter. “I’m not afraid he thought he could take me away from you—or was trying to claim he had a right to—” She stopped, tangled in her own words.
“No, I agree. I sensed no arousal on his part.” Jadrian’s voice was tight, controlled. “This wasn’t about him trying to claim a woman of his own under false pretenses. And he’d have no need for such a scheme if he was seeking a female. I know he’s well regarded among the human women. Sandara once said—” And now he was the one who chose not to proceed with the thought, instead declaring, “I wouldn’t have allowed that. We wouldn’t have allowed that. Badari believe the woman must be willing and clearly you are not. Not today.”
“Not ever.” Taura shivered. “I didn’t need another mystery, another stressful complication.”
As he entered the cave at her heels, Jadrian said, “I suggest we stop thinking about him for today then. Let’s keep to the original plan and go fishing. I’ve found time spent on the lake can be soothing to a person’s cares.”
Easier for him than it is for me. But Taura decided to relax into her companion’s pragmatic attitude and live in the moment. Let the whole Walt situation simmer until she felt more capable of dealing with the man and what he might know.
CHAPTER FIVE
Shortly thereafter, Jadrian led her toward the lake, going in a direction they’d not taken before. “The cadets have their favorite fishing holes, but I’ve found a place no one else knows of.” He gave her a shy glance. “I’m happy to share it with you.”
Accepting his help getting over a rough spot, Taura came out of the forest growing along the lake’s edge. At some point a monumentally huge tree had snapped off in a storm and fallen into the lake, forming a natural breakwater extending quite a way from the shoreline. The downed trunk was several feet wide, and she followed Jadrian as he strode confidently out to the point where the tree entered the dark blue water.
“How deep is it here?” she asked, gazing over the lake.
“Maybe only ten or twelve feet right here, but the bottom shelves suddenly and drops off. Out in the middle, I’ve been told the water is hundreds of feet deep. There’s a waterfall at the far end of the lake, several miles away and a strong current there. MARL’s spaceship sank in the deepest part of the lake, or so he says.”
“People keep mentioning this MARL—when will I get to meet him? Or it?”
“MARL stays close to Jill, the alpha’s wife. She decided he was male so everyone else follows her lead. You’ll meet him in due time, I’m sure.”
Taura studied the huge lake, watching a flight of birds skim the water. “No boats?”
Jadrian laughed. “We’ve yet to attempt boat building, and the Khagrish had no such craft for us to steal. It’s good fishing along the edge of the shelf right here, no need to go anywhere else. I’ll show you where to cast your line.” He set the baskets he was carrying down and assembled a fishing pole for her as she sat. “We had to make these ourselves from material we scavenged,” he said as he worked. “The Khagrish certainly didn’t store any actual fishing poles.” With a flourish, he handed the flexible metal rod to her.
Testing the feel of the pole on her hand and trying a few casts over the water, she asked, “What do we use for bait?”
He opened a container, revealing clumps of dirt and small wriggly creatures, one of which he used to bait her hook. “You don’t find this process distasteful?”
Surprised, Taura looked at him. “We won’t catch any fish without bait. Why? Am I supposed to be bothered?”
“Some of the humans can be, I’ve found. Not the colonists— they tend to be hardy and practical, like Badari. But passengers from the ships are generally a bit less pragmatic.”
“Not used to having to catch their own dinner.” She wondered who he’d brought fishing and selfishly hoped he hadn’t shown anyone else his special spot. She cast the baited line toward a darker area of the water which he said was usually full of fish. “Are there any predators in the water I should be aware of?”
“A few smaller ones, nothing we’ve found will attack a human, much less a Badari. We should be fine here.”
“What about you?” She noticed he hadn’t made a pole for himself. “We’ll probably fall far short of filling the basket if I’m the only one doing the fishing. I’m relatively sure it’s not a skill set I had before.”
“You have a bite,” he said.
Nearly over balancing in her haste to attend to the incipient catch, she appreciated his quick move to hold her on the tree trunk. Jadrian gave her a running set of simple suggestions for setting the hook and bringing the fish to shore. The iridescent blue and green lake dweller was quite large, and she was triumphant. “We can feed several people from this fish of mine!”
“Well done. Now go out and catch more.” He laughed at her as he dumped the fish into a basket that he hung off the side of the trunk into the cool water, attached to a stake driven into the sturdy old wood.
Standing to his full height, Jadrian kicked off his boots and stripped out of his combat fatigues. “I’m going to show you how the Badari fish.”
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