Heavy (Heavy Hearts Book 1)

by Sarah Jane Duncan

  I fight back tears of humiliation as I bend and wash my legs, knowing that he is getting an intimate view which a brother should never see.

  “Turn around now and wash your hair.”

  I do as he says, quickly massaging shampoo into my hair. As I rub the suds over my scalp, my fingers brush over a weeping graze on the crown of my head, and it causes a biting sting. I cringe from the pain and decide to cut the hair wash short and rinse it out. I don’t even bother with conditioner. I would much rather get this over and done with than to bother with having silky hair.

  “Now wash in between those dirty legs, Ali. Let me see you wash that sweet pussy.”

  A sob leaps out of my mouth.

  I’m going to kill him. Somehow, someway, I am going to fucking kill my brother, even if I have to die trying. I won’t stop until it’s done. Until I’ve watched him take his last fucking breath.

  Gritting my teeth, I use the sponge to do as he asks. I try to avoid looking at him, but I need to know where he is so I can be ready in case he comes for me. I don’t want to be caught unaware.

  “Now those perky little tits. Wash them nice and slow.” The drawl in his voice forces me to look at him this time, and that’s when I see that his jeans are around his ankles and his hand is now stroking himself. I lose all of my control. I gag three times until vomit comes up, and I can no longer stop it. I retch and retch, thankful that I’m in the shower, so the rushing water quickly washes it away. I expect Mike to scold me, but the shouts from his lips are in pleasure as he finishes himself off, watching me vomit in the shower.

  He's fucking sick in the head!

  I can’t stop crying. I’m a sobbing mess. Never have I experienced something so vile. In this very moment, I wish I was dead. I don’t want to be here and encounter another moment of this. I want out of this life now!

  As soon as I have that thought, Ayden’s face flashes through my mind. Ayden. I want to see him again. I want to be in his life, even if I don’t deserve to be. I want to hold his hand again and inhale his scent. I want to feel more of the care he offers. I may currently be enduring the most heinous act, but the thought of being able to see Ayden again is more than enough to remind me that I need to get through this somehow.

  “Get out!” Mike pulls his jeans up, leaving them half-zipped, “Now that you’re nice and clean for me, I can have my fun with you.”

  No!

  I don’t get the chance to speak, scream, or protest because Mike turns off the water and rips me from the shower by my hair again. The pain intensifies in my skull, more hair getting ripped out as he drags me, dripping with water from the shower, out into the hall.

  “No! No! No!” Finding my voice, I scream over and over.

  Having enough of my protests, Mike uses his fist again to silence me, and darkness engulfs me. For a brief time, everything is peaceful. A plain space of nothingness surrounds me. There’s no pain here. No heartache, just a calm peace that calls to me.

  When my eyes blink open again, a thick fog contorts my perception. Pain in my head is the first thing to register before my vision comes into focus to see Mike looming over me. He starts to unzip his fly. I try to look around, but my head feels so heavy, making the move sluggish. My bedroom slowly comes into focus, and I realise that I am starfished on my bed, completely naked.

  Panic seizes me, and I try to think of a way out of this because I’m 100% sure that my brother is about to rape me and take my virginity.

  Fight Lexi!

  I have to fight until either he’s dead or I am.

  Before I can do anything to try and save myself, Mike’s head snaps to look over his shoulder as if he can hear something. I force my ears to work, and that’s when I hear it—the doorbell.

  “Fuck.” He hisses with disappointment, and I open my mouth to scream, but the side of my face gets another rendezvous with Mike’s fist, and I see stars.

  “Keep your fucking mouth shut, or I will send my mates up here to have their way with you too. Stay right fucking there, and do NOT get dressed!”

  I whimper and try to nod. It’s hard to tell if the movement worked due to the pain I’m in.

  Mike storms off down the stairs, and moments later, I hear a multitude of voices. It’s his so-called mates—the ones who are nothing but a bunch of drug-addicted losers who use him for his endless supply of drugs. Listening, I can tell they are moving to the kitchen at the back of the house. I need to flee, but how do I get out of this? If I get caught, I could find myself in an even worse situation with not just Mike but his druggo friends too.

  Sitting up, I wrap my fleece throw blanket around me. My hair is still dripping wet. A watery trail of blood runs down my chest from my hair, and my left eye won’t open. Easing up off my bed, I stumble to my dresser mirror. Holy shit! I don’t even recognise the left side of my face. If my right side weren’t in better condition, I would not have thought I was looking at my own reflection.

  The music from downstairs gets louder, shooting pain through my skull, and my legs give out. My head swims, balancing on the edge of consciousness as little lights flicker across my eyes. I’m going to pass out. I can feel it rise through my body like a numb, hot wave. I can’t let myself faint! If I’m not conscious, then I can’t fight.

  The sound of a creak on the staircase makes me freeze. Shit, someone is coming. I listen, trying to hear past the music to see if I imagined it, but then I hear it again. It could be Mike. No, if it were Mike, he would just charge up the stairs like he always does. Shit, it must be one of his friends. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. It’s more likely to be a bad thing. I have met his mates before. They are all just as fucked in the head as he is.

  Even though Mike told me to stay on the bed, I can’t bring myself to obey. Adrenaline hums through my veins, fuelling my blood, and I try to push myself up, but my legs won’t work.

  No! Work you fucking useless things!

  I need to hide, or better yet, get away, but my body isn’t cooperating. The creak sounds again.

  Shit! Shit! Shit!

  My fear spikes causing me to tremble, making any attempt at standing nearly impossible. Digging deep to find physical strength, I manage to slide myself across the carpeted floor towards my wardrobe. Tugging the door open, I push my way through the hanging clothes and huddle in the back corner. After I pull the door silently closed, I wrap the blanket tight around me and bite down on it, hoping to stop any noise that my stupid ragged breathing and weak tears will bring.

  Hiding in the wardrobe is so cliché. It’s the first place the killers look in all the movies. What am I thinking? I should have stayed out on my bed and saved them the trouble.

  As if to prove my point, the floor creaks just outside my wardrobe door. Someone is in my room. I hold my breath, struggling to hear much else but the erratic pounding of my heart, which feels like it is about to beat its way out of my chest.

  “Lexi?” A familiar deep voice whispers. “Lexi, where are you?”

  Is that Ayden?

  The wardrobe door slowly opens, and I try to scramble backward, but there’s nowhere else to go.

  “Holy shit.” A different deep voice says, which I know is definitely not Ayden.

  I whimper. I need to fight. I can’t let them touch me.

  “Lex, it’s me, Ayden” The familiar, caring tone that can only belong to one person breaks through my panic, and I try to pry my eyes open as wide as I can to see if he’s real. The dark hue of the closet isn’t nearly enough to hide those piercing blue eyes.

  “Ayden?” His name is a soft whimper on my lips, and I can only just make out that there’s someone else with him.

  “Shit, man, she’s hurt bad.” I know that voice. It’s Marcus. Ayden’s here with his cousin, my friend.

  “Find a bag Marcus, throw some of her clothes in it,” Ayden whispers over his shoulder and then looks back to me, his eyes pained. “We have to get you out of here, Lex. We don’t have very much time.”

&nbs
p; Nodding, I try to stand, but my legs still won’t cooperate, the move causing the blanket to fall past my shoulders, revealing that I’m naked underneath.

  “Christ, we need to get her dressed.” Marcus looks away quickly, pretending he didn’t just see part of my nakedness, and Ayden rushes to help right the blanket on me.

  “No time,” Ayden hisses and moves to help me stand. I can’t.

  “Got as many clothes as I can fit.” Marcus holds up my duffel bag, and Ayden nods but doesn’t take his eyes off me.

  “Lex, we snuck through the front door. Marcus’s sister called some mates to come and keep your brother busy, but we have to get out of here before he gets suss.” I nod in understanding, “I’m going to carry you, okay?” Ayden’s unwavering kindness ignites my waterworks again, and he leans down quickly, lifting me into his strong arms. I keep the blanket hugged tight to my body and rest my head against his chest as he walks silently, following Marcus out of my room.

  We descend the stairs quietly, and although I feel safe in Ayden’s arms, I can’t fight back my fear knowing somebody could catch us at any moment. Reaching the bottom step, I tense in Ayden’s arms, but he tugs me close, looking around the corner down the hall to the kitchen where the music and laughter flows from.

  “It’s okay beautiful,” Ayden whispers, “I got you.”

  We haven’t even known each other for a week, and it feels like I’ve known him for so much longer. The way he knows just what to say, or can see my internal struggles when no one else does, just makes me that much more drawn to him.

  “All clear,” Marcus whispers before Ayden moves again, rushing for the open front door.

  I hold on to his neck for dear life as he rushes with me in his arms. Cold air hits me once we are outside, and the music fades away as my body bounces in Ayden’s arms while he runs from my home and away from my hell.

  I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping like hell that we don’t get caught. Heavy feet pound the pavement as Marcus follows behind. I’m unsure where we are running to, but as long as it’s far away from Mike, then I don’t care.

  “Oh, my god! Is she okay?” A female voice that I don’t recognise comes from nearby, and I hear Marcus say something to the girl that I can’t make out.

  “Lex,” Ayden whispers, “I’m going to put you in the car, okay?” I nod reluctantly because not being in his arms sounds terrifying.

  “Door,” Ayden snaps to someone, and I hear a car door creak open before Ayden lowers me into a cold seat. I release my hold on Ayden’s neck and try to keep the blanket in place. Kneeling in the open door, Ayden’s eyes roam my face with concern. His beautiful blue eyes glaze over with tears, showing me the unwavering care he has in his heart.

  “I’m so sorry, Lex. I should have been there to stop this from happening.”

  I’ve never really seen a guy cry before, and the sight hurts my heart simply because it’s Ayden. I shake my head and try to speak, but my throat feels like a thousand razor blades are lodged inside.

  “Shh, don’t speak.”

  “Ayden, we should go to the cops.” The girl steps forward, and I see her looming in the shadows next to Marcus.

  I shake my head and croak, “No cops.”

  As soon as the cops talk to my dad, they are likely to believe whatever tale he spins. If they don’t, they will ask questions that I just can’t bring myself to answer or admit out aloud. They will want evidence and want to do tests. They will want to know the truth, and I just can’t deal with that.

  “Honey, I think you should go to the police. Your brother can’t get away with this.” Moving out of the shadows a little, I notice the girl has the same eye and hair colour as Marcus. Is this his older sister Rachel? She looks familiar and could very well be his big sister, who I idolised when I was little.

  I shake my head and look back to Ayden, my eyes pleading with him to understand. Sighing, he drops his head, looking at the ground deep in thought. When he looks back up, I can see resolve settle on his face.

  “Rach, Marcus. Can you cover for me with my mum? You can tell her that I’ve gone to dad’s in the city. Just don’t tell her I drove.”

  “Yeah, sure, we can do that. But you owe us, Ayden. This is serious shit.” The girl, who is definitely Rachel, doesn’t seem happy.

  Standing, Ayden turns to them, “I know. I wouldn’t lie to my mum if I didn’t have to. Once Lexi is safe and away from here, I’ll explain everything to her. I’ll pay you back for petrol too. You know I’m good for it.”

  “Don’t worry about that, Ayden, just look after her. And make sure you look after yourself too. Don’t slip up.” Rachel gives him a pointed look, and I don’t miss that there’s some hidden meaning in her comment.

  “I won’t.”

  I have no idea what they are talking about, but they say nothing more before hugging. Turning back to the car with the bag Marcus packed, Ayden pops it on the back seat and then kneels before me again.

  “Lex, can I please take you to my dad’s place in the city? You will be safe there. We can stay with him until we figure out what to do. If you want to get changed, we can stop down the road, and you can change in the car. I just want to get you away from here as fast as I can. I don’t want to risk your brother coming to look for you.”

  “Y-you will stay with me?” I hate how vulnerable I sound.

  “Yes,” he nods, “I’m not leaving you alone again. Ever.” I try to smile at his declaration, but the movement stings my face, and I cringe, which also hurts.

  He gives me a sad smile and goes to stand, but I stop him, “Wait.” He kneels back down, looking at me with his big concerned eyes. “You’re driving?”

  He nods, “I’m 18 remember? I have my license. I haven’t been driving because I made a deal with my parents that I wouldn’t. I can fill you in about that later.” Ayden gives me a sad smile with one of his signature winks.

  This all feels surreal, and I hope like hell that I’m not hallucinating right now, because if I am, then I’m still in that house of horrors at the hands of the devil.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The car pulling to a stop wakes me from sleep. With my fleece throw blanket still wrapped around my nakedness and my loss of memory of the car ride, I realise I must have passed out or fallen asleep not long after leaving Marcus and his sister by the side of the road.

  “Hey, sleeping beauty.” Ayden’s warm voice draws my attention. The smile he wears isn’t fooling me. I can see past the small dimple and upward turn of his mouth, his eyes tell me the truth. He’s worried.

  “What’s wrong?” The hoarseness of my voice sounds like I’m a pack-a-day smoker, and its scratchiness feels like I’ve swallowed razor blades.

  The ordinarily confident exterior of Ayden Mitchell looks anything but right now, with the way his shoulders slump and his eyes dance away from the left side of my battered face.

  “I’m worried about you, Lex. I don’t know if I should have let you fall asleep. You probably have a concussion given how bad…” he shakes his head, unable to finish.

  “I’m okay now that I’m with you.” That makes him smile, almost as if he’d needed to hear me say those words.

  A man appears outside the car on Ayden’s side, and I startle, gasping. Ayden quickly turns to spot the man, and his shoulders relax.

  “It’s okay, Lex, it’s my dad.” Reaching out, Ayden gives my hand a gentle squeeze, “Be right back.”

  He slips out of the car, talking quietly with his dad. The seriousness in their expressions worries me as they discuss something before Ayden walks around the car to open my door. He leans in, giving me one of his winks again before lifting me in his arms, while his dad grabs my bag from the back seat.

  “I can walk, you know?” My attempt to protest comes out more like a question than a statement. I actually have no clue if I can walk on my own because only a few hours ago, I couldn’t.

  “I know, but I need to do something to help.”

  What does he
mean? He has already helped so much. Doesn’t he know that? I should make a big deal about it, except I know this isn’t the time or place.

  We walk through a relatively empty underground parking garage. The few cars that are here scream “money.” I haven’t had a chance to look properly at Ayden’s dad yet, but what I did see of him wasn’t enough to tell me that he comes from the type of wealth to match the cars parked in here.

  Taking the lift, we are all silent in the small space as we start to ascend. The awkward silence reminds me that I’m putting an awful lot of trust in a guy I only met days earlier. Ayden has driven me somewhere. He said he was taking me to the city to his dad’s, but I have no memory of the trip, and all I’ve seen so far is the concrete walls of a parking garage. Now, I am travelling in an elevator with two men I don’t know while wrapped in a blanket without a single stitch of clothing underneath. It’s entirely possible that I am the dumbest person to walk this earth. A chill from my stupidity makes me stiffen in Ayden’s arms, causing him to glance down at me in question. Jesus fucking Christ, Lexi, you could very well have traded one monster for another for all you know. What if Ayden and his dad are sick rapist serial killers?

  “What’s wrong, Lex?” I avoid Ayden’s gaze, both loving and hating the way he looks at me. Why does my body react like that around him? Why does it trust him when it should be trying to protect itself?

  I’m able to avoid his question as the lift reaches its destination with a ding, and the doors glide open into a foyer that leads into an apartment.

  “We need to have a chat and then get her cleaned up.” The deep voice of Ayden’s dad makes me stiffen.

  “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe now, Lex.”

  I curl into Ayden's chest even as my mind screams at me to not be so trusting. My vulnerability has my heart rate picking up as panic rises close to the surface. Ayden clutches me closer while he walks us through the foyer and down a hall into a luxurious living area.

  My eyes dart around the room, taking in the modern and cozy space. The end wall is lined with rustic timber cabinets featuring a built-in fireplace encased in polished concrete. A huge TV sinks into the cabinetry above the fireplace, and an AFL game plays muted on the screen. My heart rate starts to slow when I spot the familiar landscape of Melbourne’s city lights through the ceiling to floor windows.